From beginning to end, "My Little Girl" has always been written based on the little girl I grew up with, Yang Fan.

The day before yesterday, I finished drinking, and I was in a bad mood and couldn't talk about it, so I went to exercise, even though I knew that running after drinking alcohol was not good for my health, but I did it anyway.

After running around, I suddenly thought about 'my little girl', I have never had a conflict with her, why did we suddenly cut off contact, we could have become good girlfriends who talked about everything.

I am her male best friend, and she is my safest harbor, no matter how strong I am outside, I can unscrupulously spit out bitterness to her all my life, and let her chat with me.

I want to say that TV series are all deceptive, how can there be such good male and female girlfriends.

Everything started to change after I was with another girl, Lin.

Saying these words, it seems that I am very self-inflicted.

I still remember that after graduating from junior high school, it was the longest time I couldn't see her, and during that time, I went to study in other cities.

She is invisible, always becoming a memory in front of my eyes, reaching out to touch it, but it is far away.

I called her from time to time to get in touch with her, even though I knew she had a boyfriend and I never talked to her about liking her.

Once, for nearly a week, I kept calling her, but it was always down, and I was a little desperate and a little sad.

I even think that even if you have a boyfriend, I'm not really going to wreak havoc, I just want to know what happened to you after all this time of downtime.

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt, and that was the first time I tasted the smell of despair, like mustard, choking and uncomfortable.

It's true that I like her, but after that time, I chose to give up, maybe I shouldn't be self-righteous that even if she had a boyfriend, she wouldn't mind my existence.

Yes, she minds, she minds, she has learned to resist too.

I thought that her downtime during that time was just to avoid the phone calls I had to make over and over again.

Perhaps, she really liked him, and even fell in love with him.

For his sake, she could choose not to have me.

I desperately but reluctantly pressed the delete button, and the only glimmer of hope left in my heart made me call her again.

"The user you're calling is down!"

It's like a magic sound, slamming at my mind over and over again, and I'm really desperate.

With a cruel grin, I pressed the delete button, and her phone number disappeared from my phone book for a brief but swift second.

I desperately tried to remember her number, I remembered, and then I forgot it in the days that followed, maybe sometimes I forgot it, it would become sad, but at least there was no excuse.

At the very least, I don't say to myself anymore, "Hey, bro, I remember her phone number." ”

Six years have passed.

The night before yesterday, I called the black man and shamelessly asked him for Xiaofan's phone number, yes, very shameless.

In the conversation with the black man, I heard his chagrin and helplessness, and he should be annoyed and helpless in the face of such a friend.

He has said to me many times that Xiao Fan has changed, and he is no longer the Xiao Fan you know, even if I find it back, I will not still be 16 years old.

I always smiled and said to him, Xiao Fan is not as bad as you say, she is still Xiao Fan, she will still be Xiao Fan I know, she will not change.

Actually, I knew in my heart that she had really changed.

The moment I got the number, faced with a familiar and unfamiliar number, I knew that I had changed, and her number had never changed.

I also asked my friends if Xiaofan had changed his mobile phone number, and they told me that he didn't, and I just smiled lightly, but I didn't believe it in my heart.

The moment I saw the number, I regretted it from the bottom of my heart, and I couldn't calm down with deep remorse.

At that moment, there was only one sentence left in my mind: "If I didn't delete it, did you keep waiting for my phone?"

I don't know, only Xiaofan knows this, only she knows.

My obsession is deep, so to speak, deep-rooted.

In the past six years, something happened that made me rarely panic.

I had already made up my mind not to contact Xiaofan, so for a long time, I didn't look at Q, and even the way I opened it was no longer an instinct.

During this time, I met a girl, her name is Mengting, and I am a netizen with her, which is the so-called online dating.

It was the saddest time for me, and she suddenly appeared, and we exchanged a lot of information, she was beautiful, tall, and perfectly proportioned.

During that time, I often had conflicts with her, and this dreamlike love taught me a lot, that is, the night I left the city.

I chose to break up with her, and on the night of the school party, she called, and her voice was hoarse on the phone.

In the past, she spoke very quietly and was reluctant to pronounce a syllable, and I had a lot of emotions with her for this.

That night, she was very open-minded and talked about everything, and in silence, I ended the conversation with her.

I remember that I once said to her, when you graduated from high school, I was already out of society, and when the time comes, I will earn money for you to study, and you will not have to take money from your parents like your younger siblings.

On the night she said this, she cried on the phone, and I think I was the first man in my life to boast to her about Haikou but never realized.

During that time, there was no Xiaofan, only Mengting.

Mengting is her real name, I'm actually a paranoid, after promising her not to find a girlfriend, I really went to this city from the beginning, until now, I've been alone.

Yes, alone.

In those two years, every time Mengting talked to me on the phone, she always spent it crying, and I guessed that I must be the first man in my life to make her cry hundreds of times.

Because, for the past two years, I've been struggling with a question, why don't you come to see me, it's a big deal for me to see you!

She wouldn't let me, and I was angry, but I knew that even though I wanted to see her very much, she had her life, and I couldn't ruin her life because of my selfishness.

Perhaps, it's not ruined, although I'm a man, I'm also a trustworthy person.

Those two years are the most precious gift in my memory.

I remember the cruelest thing I ever said to her, which was: Falling in love with a woman like you is more tiring than tm prostitutes.

Since then, we've been in touch, but it's no longer possible, even though she's now out of college and can no longer be tied to her family.

There is no possibility with Mengting, and I found out by chance again that Xiaofan didn't know when, and he had disappeared from my QQ.

This has become a problem for me again, and I can't do it if I don't ask.

It was another year or so before I finally had the opportunity to ask her, and she didn't answer, though I knew she would say in the end, I don't know.

She did say she didn't know.

Since then, I have lost contact with her again, because it happened that a friend called me, and she happened to be among the girls.

That year, she graduated from high school, a year later than Mengting.

Until now, when I pick up the phone, type in an unfamiliar phone number, and dial it, I no longer hesitate or hesitate.

I know, it's a man, if you bring a handle, please trouble yourself, don't be so cowardly, say it clearly in a few words, happy, clear, no one hesitates.

On the phone, when I said who I was, for a moment, she must have had a fluctuation in her mood, but then she said, "I'm out there with my boyfriend." ”

It completely chilled my heart!

I don't have to be with you, I just want to make a phone call and say to her, I'm sorry, I don't want to be a stranger like you, somehow.

She gave the phone to someone else, that person was my classmate, and for a moment I really wanted to catch it and beat it to death, and his laughter made me rarely disgusted.

At the same time, I also understood that I was already a stranger in Xiaofan's heart, even if I accidentally met on the road, I was surprised at most why I ran into me.

Such a strangeness, no familiarity, no mood swings, to say that there is, her voice is as pleasant as a silver bell as always.

Under her stiff answer, I finally said that I was sorry, as relieved as if I had been burdened with too many crimes, and one day, I would be wronged.

Although there is still a little reluctance, I know that she and I will be two people from now on, and there will be no more half-dime relationship.

Even if she got married, she wouldn't have called me.

My friend told me afterwards that she had already brought her boyfriend home, and I just laughed and said that I really didn't care.

I do care a little bit, but when I think about it, it's okay.

I said to my friend, "I'm sorry, but the novel is probably going to be too j." ”

He was in a hurry with me on the spot.

For the past two days, I have been hesitating whether to continue to write about the little girl, and then I figured it out.

Even if she already has a lover, but the Xiao Fan in the book, she is also another Xiao Fan, and she deserves the perfect ending for me to give her. (To be continued.) )