I don't have classes this afternoon, and I don't want to play games, so I want to go out for a walk, take a walk, find a quiet place, and calm down, because I thought of Lan a few days ago, and now my heart is difficult to make waves again, and the excitement and excitement since entering the school are gone, and I began to recall the past infinitely.

Walking in the park next to the dormitory, it is built around Ming Lake, there are many apple and pear trees, and the artificial lawn under the trees grows luxuriantly because of frequent watering. Because by the middle of October, the leaves and lawn began to turn a little yellow, and the lawn was scattered with fallen leaves, and with the 3 p.m. daylight, it felt very beautiful and warm, and I even wanted to lie down on the lawn, looking for the feeling of playing on the lawn in my hometown. But life can't always be pretty, looking at the lawn under the trees and the couples snuggling up to each other on the benches, I can't help but feel lonely.

It's not their fault, because the paths, parks, and lakes on college campuses are all mecca for couples and sad places for single dogs. Except passing by, few young people come here alone for a walk. Single people are either playing mobile phones in the dormitory, playing games, or reading books in the library or classroom, and there is another kind of person who plays sports on the court, I don't know which one I am, I can't be addicted to games, I love sports, I study hard? Not likely, I just like to read, read books that are not textbooks.

Usually it seems that I can talk and laugh with many people, but it is difficult to find someone who has a common language, and the relationship is okay but not iron enough. Of course, that's why I don't want to get too close to other people, I don't want people to know the whole me, I just want to do what I want to do, even if others don't approve of it, or things that don't make sense in themselves.

Stroll to the stands next to Ming Lake, lean on the guardrail of the stands and watch the willows paddling in the breeze, schools of goldfish, and black swans frolicking in the distance, falling into memories and contemplation. I slowly closed my eyes and entered my own utopia.

"Grandma, is that brother over there asleep? It's strange, why is there no sister next to him, he seems to be smiling! Look! And the little dimples. ”

"Maybe I'm thinking about something good, I seem to be happy, let's come here to see the goldfish. Don't bother my brother. ”

"Okay, okay, I like beautiful goldfish the most, and big black swans. ”

…………

I don't know how long it took for me to open my eyes and see Lan leaning against the guardrail next to me and smiling at me, as if she had been watching me for a long time.

"When did you come?"

I smiled back at her and asked,

"When you're looking for me!"

"It seems like I haven't seen you in a long time, when was the last time?"

"The night after the college entrance examination, when you fell asleep by the river. ”

"Yes, I don't remember, I drank that day, and I drank so much liquor for the first time, and I was dizzy. ”

That night, I was there all the time, and I talked a lot with you, you said: "You have been trying to change, you have always wanted to prove yourself, but you always can't do well, the teacher says you, your classmates scold you, because you sleep in class, your parents keep saying that you are willing to fall, you don't study hard, and you know to read novels one day." "But I see your more resolute, more mature face. You've always changed, haven't you? Are you still the same submissive, timid, introverted, reticent little boy you used to be?"

"Isn't it?"

I feel like I'm still like that, afraid to face, unwilling to accept, unwilling to go out into my own world, still disgusted and afraid of society.

"No, you have come out, lively and cheerful every day, sunny and confident, you are a sunshine boy!"

"That's Pengju. It's not me, by the way, why didn't you come to see me recently, it seems to have (counting the time)...... I haven't seen you for 126 days, I can't imagine that it's been so long, I haven't actually gone to look for you, how can I be like this? What have I been doing lately? I haven't looked for you for so many days, I'm sorry, I really miss you. You know, as long as I think of you when I do one thing, and that is – breathe."

"I know, I miss you too, but I can't find you, do you want me to go to Pengju? He doesn't want you to see me, Pengju doesn't seem to need me anymore, he's doing well now, you also want to be happy tomorrow, you know?

She stroked my cheek, scraped the bridge of my nose, and smiled so softly, so beautifully, at this moment, time seemed to stand still. Even the willow branches fluttering behind her before were gone, and the pedestrians in the distance were gone.

"Are you leaving?"

"It's time to go, Pengju is coming back. ”

But I only have two wishes at this moment:

You're around, you're there.

"Whoa!" A goldfish crossed out of the lake, and when he turned back, Lan was gone, coming like the wind, walking like the wind. All that was left was my hot cheeks.

I'm also going to tell you that I met a girl before, I thought it was you, like you but not like you, very strange, but I can't say it, maybe I miss you too much, maybe you already know, I can't hide anything from you.

I pulled out the bread stuffed in my trouser pocket, tore a small slice of it, and threw it into the lake, attracting a school of fish. I couldn't eat at noon, so I bought a loaf of bread, but I couldn't finish it, so I just used it to feed the goldfish. I love it, I love the grandstand, I love the peace and quiet.

After throwing bread, I took out my headphones, clicked on the music on my phone, and Zhou Chuanxiong's singing voice kept echoing in my head.

I heard the cold wind disturb the leaves

In the lonely and dark alley where you live for a long time

I hear loneliness in the night of forbearance

It's a chest sobbing with love

I'm a locked window to my heart

Let the cold wind come and go, and it can't be closed

The wind and frost that cannot be repaired all these years

It looks particularly bleak

When the wind comes, it stirs up the sorrow of the past

Like a cheap all season long

Let's start from scratch, like a dream

I heard the rejection and laughed at the night

I'm just a window to the northwest in the cold winter

I hear loneliness in the night of forbearance

It's a chest sobbing with love

I'm a locked window to my heart

Let the cold wind come and go, and it can't be closed

The wind and frost that cannot be repaired all these years

It looks particularly bleak

When the wind comes, it stirs up the sorrow of the past

Like a cheap all season long

Let's start from scratch, like a dream

I'm a locked window to my heart

Let the cold wind come and go, and it can't be closed

The wind and frost that cannot be repaired all these years

It looks particularly bleak

When the wind comes, it stirs up the sorrow of the past

Like a cheap all season long

Let's start from scratch, like a dream

I heard the rejection and laughed at the night

I'm just a window to the northwest in the cold winter

I'm just a window to the northwest in the cold winter

It is said that goldfish only have a memory of 7 seconds, is it because of this that they are so leisurely and carefree? Sometimes if you don't have so many memories, will there be no worries?