That's it.,Before you know it, autumn has passed.,The first snow in Silver City has already fallen.,I don't know what the situation is like in my hometown at this time.,It should still be very hot.。

I used to hear that there will be migratory birds flying south in October, Yincheng is just located in the junction of the northwest and north China, and it is almost the center of our country, it stands to reason that you should be able to see the migratory birds mentioned in the book, but until now you have not seen any of them, the geese have not seen the formation, there are no single flights, only fighter jets and transport planes that roar every day, maybe Yincheng is not on the route they fly, maybe the migratory birds will not fly over the city and will choose to bypass, maybe they are not as common as they once were, but winter has indeed arrived, I can't help but sigh:

"When the fighter took the place of the parting migratory birds,

Are you okay at the moment? ”

Thinking about it, almost three months have passed, and I haven't called home a few times, but my parents call me once a week, and my younger brother doesn't know what's going on, whether he's still so naughty, whether he has made his family angry, and I don't know how my cousins and cousins are doing, how is Brother Mo's studies, and I'll be in my third year of high school next year!

Because it was the first snow, it didn't fall much, only about a centimeter, maybe the temperature was not low enough, and it melted after a few days, as if there had never been this snow. But it did get colder, and the temperature sometimes reached minus a few degrees at night.

There are fewer and fewer pedestrians in Minghu and the park, and the black swans don't show up much anymore, spending most of their time in their nests on the island in the middle of the lake, probably because the water temperature is too low. Today, the sun is still shining, and there are still many couples on the benches, snuggling up to each other, and occasionally the north wind blows, making me shiver.

After throwing bread for a long time, I found that no matter how I looked at it, I felt that there were not as many goldfish as before, where did they go? Maybe some of them have died, or maybe they have become a dessert for black swans, or maybe they have been caught and cooked by students with good deeds (once I passed by Minghu with 511 and the gang, and when I saw those carp that weighed several pounds, they also came up with this idea), as if I had seen a fish similar to a black fish in the lake before.

Maybe who cares about where they go except for the school staff who manages the lake and people like me, who often come to feed them? People will only sigh when they see the swarms of goldfish, so beautiful! It's so interesting! And then what? No, it's gone! At most, take a picture and leave, as for what they eat, the density is so high, and what is the water quality of Ming Lake, who knows what it is? Who cares?

It's quiet around here today, and my heart is at peace, but I haven't been in the state for a long time, and I haven't waited for Lan, I don't know if she doesn't want to see me, or if I don't want to see her. I didn't see her until I left.

In October, the school asked all the new students to go to the library, the electronic reading room, and fill out some mental health questionnaires on the Internet, and our class was assigned to start at 3 p.m., and I didn't have to go to PE class because the college would give me fake notes, and everyone had to fill out these questionnaires.

Because there are three sets of questionnaires with nearly 200 questions, the school is afraid that everyone will be perfunctory, the teacher said that there is no half an hour not allowed to go, I spent 40 minutes to fill it out seriously, when I finished filling it out, I found that most of the students were gone, I felt that I was sick, a mentally healthy questionnaire to fill out so seriously, and take it seriously.

This is the end of the matter for many people, and some people don't have to go to class all afternoon and earn it. I thought the same thing, but this is not the end for me, it is just the beginning.

Two weeks later, I received a phone call from Ms. Ma (a female teacher) from the school's mental health counseling and counseling office, asking me to do a survey and talk to the teacher face-to-face about some questions about students' mental health. When I asked the teacher if there was anything wrong with me, of course the teacher said that he didn't know! The students were randomly selected for this conversation, and if there were any psychological problems, they might only know after talking.

I think my three views are very positive, and I look at the problem very rationally, but I still ignore the human creature a little, in my eyes, if this person has no intersection with my life, I will not pay attention to it at all, some people are worthless to me, and some people are more important to me than Mount Tai. I don't have any sense of superiority over myself as a human being, they are all living beings, no different from chickens, ducks, cows and horses, maybe it's because we have consciousness, but who knows that they don't have their own consciousness? So after watching the "Silence of the Lambs" trilogy in high school, I didn't have any waves in my heart, and I didn't believe in ghosts and gods, I only believed in myself.

Usually I don't have any burden on killing.,I don't feel disgusting when I dissect animals.,On the contrary, I feel curious.,It's like students and creatures.,It's nothing.,Studying medicine and dissecting the human body.,Compared to them, we're nothing.。 Usually it's just a lot of imagination.,It's easier to wander and fantasize.,It should be everyone.,It's not a big deal.。 How could there be a problem? It should really be random.

When I was still thinking about whether to go, I came to me for self-study last night, she was a member of the psychological committee of the class, and when she was elected, no one was running for election at that time, so she went up, and everyone saw that she was usually very lively and cheerful, so they all agreed, and I also thought about doing this at that time, because the psychological committee can have "in-depth communication" with many people, but this is the most likely to have problems, and I am afraid that I will not be able to bear it.

"There are two people in our academy who have been taken to talk, you are one of them, you must go on time when the time comes, don't push back and find reasons, I know you didn't have classes that morning, Brother Xia, I see that you are usually very cheerful, there won't really be any problems, right?"

"What do you think? Everyone has a devil in their hearts, and you think I'm going to show it?"

"I'll just say, you must be a big pervert, smiling every day, is it just to hide your true face?"

She's starting to joke again, I don't want to talk about it anymore,

"I have a tiger in my heart, but I am sniffing the roses. ”

"Speak human words! I know how to pretend all day long, why don't you pretend to be dead?"

"Come here and let me smell it!"

"It's really a pervert, I'll tell everyone to be careful in the future. ”

"Maybe I'm just going to harm you?"

It seems that every time I chat with others, I will use nonsense and jokes to change the topic and resolve the embarrassment, rarely communicate with others in depth, and there seems to be nothing to communicate, everyone is not a person of the same world, nor is it a bosom friend.

So I made an appointment with the teacher to come to her office at 10 a.m. on Friday morning, and I didn't have classes from 10 a.m. to 3 a.m. that day. Before leaving, I also washed my hair, pinched it, and chose the clothes and shoes that I thought were suitable, and the T-shirt printed with the patterns of "Lone Wolf Howling Moon" and "Lion Looking Far Away" was definitely not good, I chose a blue plaid shirt, a windbreaker, and there were only two types of coats: windbreaker and sportswear, from shoes to hair, all black. If I buy my own clothes, I usually only choose black, or blue. Black can be said to be my faith, I like this color very much, it is not as easy to get dirty as white, as for blue, I will not talk about it.

I arrived 7 minutes early, but knocked on the door a few times and found that there was no one in the office, I think after all, it is a teacher, there is no need to come in advance, there is no need to let the teacher wait for the students, the students wait for the teacher to be normal, but it has been 5 minutes since ten o'clock, the teacher has not come, 7 minutes, I am already impetuous, ready to lift my legs and leave, the waiting is always so long, every minute is torment, I have been doing everything as much as possible, but after all, the national situation is there, anyway, I am used to waiting, and I am a female teacher, there are various reasons for being late, when I am thinking about it, the teacher is finally late。

At first glance at the teacher, I thought it wasn't the person I was waiting for? How could it be that I should be pregnant? There was no humanity at school, and it seemed that all of them were more than 5 months pregnant, and they still had to go to work.

"You're a student you're going to talk to, right? Liu Pengju, right?"

"Yes, Teacher"

"Sorry for being late, I've kept you waiting, and you can see that I'm not doing this conveniently. ”

Calling such a teacher to talk to students about psychological problems, I have to say that it is very unreasonable and reasonable, at least as soon as Mr. Ma opened his mouth, I calmed down, and the irritability instantly went away with the wind, indicating that I understood and should be, such a situation is really impossible to blame. Communicating will not make people resist and be vigilant in their hearts, and anyone who is tolerant of pregnant women will be kind and let their guard down (except for some professionally trained people). I think I'm probably going to say and show a lot of things today.

No one wants others to know what they don't want to show, it's privacy. Of course, I may go to the doctor for some reason, but I was passively investigated and was intentionally resistant.

"You sit down first, I'll clean up and clean up the table. ”

Still standing,

"Does the teacher need my help?"

"No, just sort out the papers, you sit first. ”

How could I possibly sit down, you're not done.

"Don't be too nervous, relax, there's no need to sit upright, it's just an ordinary conversation. ”

"Hmm"

"Listening to your spoken language just now, you are a southerner, it is rare to see a tall southerner like you."

"It's nothing, now that life is better, everyone is generally quite tall! ”

"Where?"

"Guizhou Qiannan"

"Oh, that Buyi and Miao Autonomous Prefecture, I have traveled over there, the scenery is very good, the mountains and rivers are beautiful, not like here. By the way, are you an ethnic minority or a Han Chinese?"

"Buyi,"

"Does the family live in a town or a rural area?"

"Rural"

"Then you ............"

……

The teacher asked me a lot of questions, such as the specific situation of my family, contemporary customs, my views on my family, my views on school, and what I usually do. During this period, my right leg always couldn't help shaking, which was a bad habit of mine for many years, so I had no choice but to use my right hand to keep pressing.

"Don't be too restrained, let go, just chat like a friend, you're so nervous, keep your head down, don't dare to look at me. ”

"My mom said it's rude to stare at it. ”

I smiled and gave an answer, I have very few friends and basically don't talk to people about this.

"I can't see that you're quite humorous, but you seem to be very resistant to other people, have you made new friends in this school, so many people, you should have a common language with many people!"

"Probably not, the contact time is too short, I can't see anything, and I don't take the initiative to make friends. I'm supposed to be a bit introverted. ”

"You said that you often go to Minghu Lake to see goldfish, do you think it is the most similar to the south there, and it is relatively quiet. ”

"It should be!"

"You should be a careful child, very cautious, as soon as you enter the door, you keep looking at the environment of the office, and you don't hide your handkerchief in front of me, don't mind letting me see it, you know that there are not many girls who use handkerchiefs now, and the teachers don't have this habit, aren't you afraid of the girls around you laughing? Of course it's a good habit,"

"When I was a child, I often had a runny nose, so my mother used a handkerchief for me, and then I got used to it, and some classmates laughed at me in junior high school, but I didn't have anything, so I have been using it until now. ”

"I see you're all dressed in black, why?"

"I just think it's good-looking, it's not easy to get dirty, it's easy to match, and I don't pay so much attention to what I wear. ”

"Well, yes, do you shake your legs when you're nervous?

"I'm used to it, it's like this when I'm free, I usually don't care much about it, sometimes it's actually embarrassing, and I will change it slowly in the future. ”

"You can take deep and rhythmic breaths to calm yourself and also divert your attention. I do this a lot now, you can follow me and see if it works. ”

"1,2,3 exhalation~~ho............" I meditated in my heart, followed the teacher to do a deep breathing action, after about 3 minutes,

"Is there any effect?"

"One point, when I'm nervous in the future, I'll do what the teacher says, thank you, teacher"

"It's nothing, that's all I can do, and I'm glad I can help you. ”

"Have you ever seen books and movies about psychology?"

"Yes, I don't know if these count, for example: ......"

……

After another five minutes of talking, the teacher asked me a lot about my views and understanding of life, and my answer was still a little perfunctory. Fortunately, the teacher also stopped at the beginning, and did not ask questions and go deeper.

"Do you think there's something wrong with your psyche?"

"There must be problems, everyone has some psychological problems to a greater or lesser extent, but everyone's situation is different, and they usually don't show it, after all, who will show the devil in their hearts?"

"You are an interesting student, you have your mobile phone number in our office and my phone, if you want to chat with the teacher in the future, or consult, call us, I hope we can help you, I see you want to go back"

"Okay teacher, I'll ask the teacher for help if there's anything. ”

This was the end of the conversation for more than half an hour, and when I opened the office door, the first thing I felt was that the fresh air was so good. I don't think I will come again unless I call me again, although I think this teacher is good.

It seems that there are a lot of things that need to be changed in the future, and I don't know if this conversation is a good thing or a bad thing. But why can't I find Lan lately? I'm really afraid that one day she'll leave me, I can't imagine that now.

It's still early to see the time, let's go to Minghu Lake to see the goldfish again, and bask in the sun by the way, there are moldy nests in the past few days.