"So, you still regret your inability to do anything about Sato's problem, but you are still unwilling to help Koharu, who may be facing the same situation as Sato, is that what you mean?" However, Kogi Senpai didn't look like the understanding smile I was expecting, and her voice didn't show the softness of the past, but showed a more silent feeling.

"I'd love to help Koharu, but, senior, I'm scared, I've already denied the previous me in order to get out on the right path in high school, do you mean, let me go back to the original path?"

"Kazuya, I used to think that I already understood you, and even now, I don't think I have too much problem with your understanding," Kogi Senpai looked at me quietly, but the shock revealed in her words was much more than what she saw on the surface, "However, what I don't understand is that every time I understand your thoughts, I find that the more I can't understand your thoughts- In other words, I understand that your behavior is the result of your behavior that makes you take a specific approach, but I can't agree with your way of thinking. ”

This is the first time that Kogi Yu's predecessor has said such things to me, in the past, she has been using her tolerance, understanding me, and supporting me, however, this time, when I asked Kogi Yukina for help again, I found that she was not on my side.

"Kazuya, what do you think of me?" Suddenly, Kogi Senpai threw out a topic that had nothing to do with before.

"Reliable seniors who can understand me and help me at all times. I replied subconsciously.

"So, what do you think is the difference between me and the Hayato Hayama of the football club that you often complain about?"

"There's nothing to compare this question to—" I bowed my head weakly, because I already knew what Kogi Senpai wanted to ask next.

"—Kazuya, I hope you can face up to some problems, okay?" the gentle, but undeniable voice of my predecessor stopped my vagueness.

"Well, in comparison, the seniors are more low-key, they know when to stop, and the seniors are not the typical team leader role, are they? There are still a lot of differences - of course the differences I said are based on the performance of the seniors in front of me, in front of other people, the seniors are friendly but not easy to get close to, but that's not your real side, right?"

"Kazuya, you're talking about my attitude towards other people, aren't you? Whether it's in front of you or in front of other people, you're talking about Yukina-Kogi's attitude towards other people—but do you really think that my attitude when taking care of you is different from the attitude of Hayato Hayato, whom you don't like, when taking care of other people?"

"It's different—"

"—the same help, don't think too much of me, don't think of other people too mean, don't you? The same is true for you, don't feel like you've done nothing, don't think you can do everything, do you agree with what I say?"

I'm speechless.

"So, Kazuya, do you understand what I mean?"

"I understand, Kogi Senpai. ”

yes, of course I do. I didn't need to be told by Kogi Sao's seniors, Koharu had already told me at the time, and she told me not to care too much about my first mistake in judgment, and not to care too much about the consequences of my unintentional mistakes.

But I couldn't ignore the idea that I would make the judgment for everyone, and then someone else would do it, and then solve the problem, and I couldn't ignore it when my own mistakes buried it.

"yes, it seems that you still don't understand. "The senior may be the one who understands the meaning of my expression changes in different periods the most, and almost just by looking at my helpless eyes, she should understand the hidden meaning behind my promise," I don't expect this simple statement to make you understand. ”

"I'm sorry, Kogi-senpai, but I have my own insistence, even if it seems ridiculous. ”

"Okay, next question," Senior Kogi continued to say to me as if he hadn't heard my reply, "You've been evaluating my attitude towards others before, so, have you ever considered whether Kogi Yukina has expectations for others?"

So, what will Kogi seniors expect? In my impression, Kogi Senpai will always be trustworthy and will never give up his concern for me - this is also the impression that Kogi Senpai left on me.

However, Xiaomu Yukina is not a perfect superman, perfect as under the snow, there will be times of hesitation, and there will be times of hesitation and hesitation without the pride and ability of Xiaomu Yuki's predecessors under the snow, right?

So, Xiaomu Yukina will also have something to look forward to, right? I look forward to other people's care, expectations, and other people's help. Is this what the seniors want to say to me?

Or, to put it another way, Kazuya, "As I did before, Kogi Senpai approached me gently, and I could almost feel the sound and breath of Senpai's breathing, but, unlike before, she didn't make any physical contact with me, "If I encounter a situation similar to Koharu, what do you think, what will you do?"

"As long as I can find a reason to convince myself, I will help my seniors and help as much as I can!" I replied categorically.

"What's the difference with your attitude toward answering Koharu's question now?" Senior Kogi Yu showed a wry smile, "It's nothing more than a difference in the confidence to help! The premise still hasn't changed, hasn't it? I'm a little disappointed, Kazuya." ”

"But—"

"-In front of me, you don't have to repeat your theory over and over again, do you?" Kogi-senpai stopped me from wanting to continue explaining and asked, "By the way, what if it's your sister?"

"That, senior, you know, family-"

Well, sure enough, it's a bit reluctant to get me to the level of family, right?"

"Family relationships are always irrational and cannot be judged by the same logic. I nodded slightly.

"But the family relationship is also the most stable, which is also the reason why you can ignore your principles when facing your family, right?"

"Yes. ”

"Ah, to be honest, Kazuya, now I admire myself a little, how can I know so many things about you, how many things have you told me!"

"Well, before I knew it, I said a lot of things......"

"Unconsciously!" The senior also showed a somewhat nostalgic expression, "Although we have known each other for a semester, we still exchange many things with each other!"

"Yes, I'm also proud to know a lot of things about Kogi's predecessors. ”

"Actually, from this point of view, the two of us are relying on each other, right? Use our own secrets, share them with each other, and then, support each other."

"If that's how you understand—"

"So, everybody is the same, everybody is burdened with a lot of pressure that no one else knows about, and then everybody wants someone to help them take that through that pressure. We're lucky to have found the one who shared the pressure!" Kogi continued, "But what about Koharu now?"

In the end, Kogi's predecessor still led the topic back to Koharu's problem.

"Koharu is like that, isn't it? Although that kid looks very stubborn and serious, she can't handle these things at all, right? No matter how hard she tries, she can't handle it, she can only wait for the nightmare of junior high school to end, and then try to find a new beginning after high school. So, Kazuya, have you ever wondered what it means for Koharu to reveal those things to you?"

Of course I knew, I knew nothing more about the girl's stubbornness, and how she would seek my help if she could.

- However, it doesn't matter, the important thing is that what I lack now is not the motivation to help Koharu, but the support to help Koharu!

"Senior, I understand what you want to say. However, my predecessors have been trying to convince me in ways that deepen my feelings, but what I need now is a rational and logical 'right theory'!"

"That's right, Kazuya, when you find that your reason and your feelings are completely opposed, why would you rather believe in that set of 'logic' constructed by yourself than face your own heart and think about your true feelings!

It's a little abrupt, and Xiao Mu Yu's predecessor lost his temper in front of me. Before, the seniors didn't complain a single word. Even in the conversation just now, I could see that the senior was trying to convince me, however, some suddenly, the senior of Kogi Shu got angry.

The feeling left by the forehead of the previous predecessor against my forehead has not completely dissipated, but now I feel that the predecessor of Xiao Mu Yu, who has always been very close, is extremely far away from me.

I can understand what Kogi Yu's predecessors are thinking, she sees her own shadow in the current Koharu, although I don't know what happened to the seniors back then, but the situation she encountered with Koharu must be exhausted. So, looking at me, who can help Koharu, sit on the sidelines, this will make Kogi Senpai have a kind of powerless anger.

However, the seniors can "empathize" with the situation faced by Koharu in a very emotional way, but I can't, human feelings, whether it is anger, complacency, sympathy, and concern, are all hindering the generation of correct judgments, and other people can not have this kind of self-awareness, but I, who have failed once, cannot do without this kind of self-awareness.

"I'm sorry, Kazuya, I'm a little excited. However, just before I didn't say anything because of my senior's anger, Kogi Sanpai's senior calmed down first, "At first, I just wanted to make a suggestion, but then I unconsciously said something more serious! Sure enough, it's better that I shouldn't comment on these things, right?"

Xiao Mu Yu's senior voice seemed very calm, and he explained what had just happened very calmly. Although, I don't know, behind that calm, how hard she tried to exercise self-restraint.

"It's okay, I understand, seniors, no matter who they are, sometimes they can't think rationally, and I also do things wrong, isn't it?"

"Kazuya, you still really like to use 'reason' to solve problems!"

However, I was a little surprised to see that Kogi Senpai-senpai looked at me with a pleading look in his eyes.

I looked at such a little Mu Yu senior, and my heart was a little irritable.

"Of course, 'rationality' is the most important basis for human beings to distinguish from animals!"

"So, is the interdependence I mentioned earlier also a kind of rationality?"

I looked at the seniors in amazement.

"Kazuya, do you think that kind of feeling is not an emotional appeal?"

"I don't know. To this, I can only answer in the most honest words.

"So, even you, it's not that you can't be purely rational! So, I really can't understand why you're obsessed with that 'orthodox'. ”

"Actually, I don't know, maybe, that's just a way for me to escape from the past, right?" I said with some self-deprecation, "but at least I can't give up that 'righteousness' now, sorry, senior." ”

"If that's what you really think, it's easier to solve. The senior lowered his head and said something with some emotion that I didn't quite understand, "All in all, from my point of view, Kazuya, I still hope that you can help Koharu, but, if you really can't do it, I can only say, I'm sorry, I'm sad, but, I can't change anything." ”

"I want to help her too, Kogi-senpai," I said with a wry smile, "but if we are seduced by momentary emotions, then we will make many regretful moves." ”

"So, Kazuya, do you think it's the right thing for you to do?" Kogi asked seriously, looking me in the eye.

Is this the right thing to do? To be honest, I am also very hesitant, as my predecessor said, if there is a contradiction between reason and emotion, whether one's truest thoughts are given by reason or emotion is itself debatable.

However, I am just taking a "not the worst" choice, a choice made with reason, the result will not be at least the worst, and a choice made with emotion, the result is sometimes unpredictable.

So, just from the standpoint of avoiding the "worst-case scenario", I don't really have a choice.

"I don't know if I made the right choice, but I just know that I shouldn't have made the wrong choice at least. I looked at Kogi Senpai, who was seriously looking forward to my reply, and replied.

"yes, then I'm sorry, Kazuya, at least in this matter, I can't stand behind you anymore!" said Kogi Senpai, shaking his head slightly.

"I know, senior, I understood it from the moment you showed your attitude. ”

Although I understood, I didn't get the support of my predecessors for the first time, and I suddenly felt that I had lost something, as if I had been deprived of the last way out.

"My seniors can expect me to find a 'true theory'!" I smiled reluctantly and said, "Maybe at that time, I will have the same attitude as my seniors, right?"

"If you just need a 'correct theory', why bother to distort yourself to this extent?" A trace of sadness flashed in the eyes of Xiao Mu Yu's senior.

- There's no way around it, because, Kazuya Yuhihama has always been such a twisted existence!

I said silently in my heart.

----------------------------------PS----------------------------------

This chapter is probably the most painful chapter I have written since I opened the white book, the emotional turn, the collision of ideas, from two to five o'clock for three hours, but I am still very dissatisfied. I had a lot of things I wanted to write about in the middle and at the end, but I just couldn't write that meaning, and I finally deleted them all, and I even put the chapter in the draft box at five o'clock, and then pulled it back and changed it for 40 minutes.

Here, Yukina will be dissatisfied with Kazuya, and she should be dissatisfied with Kazuya, but Yukina can't convince Kazuya, although she tried very hard, she hinted, her emotions exploded, she reasoned, she interceded, but she still didn't succeed. Of course, Kazuki will also be touched by Yukina's words, but only some. I don't like or hate it myself.,It's just a character that I created myself.,But the harmony here is,The rejection of Yukina's harmony.,Really,Let me myself be a little annoyed as an author.。

Then, both of them should have some actions, but to what extent these actions should go, how to express the cracks between the two that have actually formed but have been carefully sewn up on the surface, I am thinking very hard, writing very hard, I feel that I have reached my limit, but I am still very dissatisfied. How to put it, in short, limited capabilities.

This plot will prompt Kazuya to evolve.,However,It's going to be a shameful evolution.,Well,For example, Agumon has become a zombie tyrannosaurus.。 So next, I'm going to think about writing a plot that makes the protagonist feel a little cool when everyone knows he's done wrong.

Of course, this chapter is also a portrayal of my book, and it perfectly validates my self-complaining the night before. It took a lot of effort to ponder the plot, to ponder the emotions, to ponder the thoughts, and in the end the whole text was shrouded in an inexplicable depression, so this kind of book should be satisfied with its current popularity, don't be too greedy.