The previous post explored the role of the protagonist's initiative, and the correlation between motivation and execution. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

Later, 101 reviewed the chapters written in the new book, and made the protagonist's motivation unclear and clear, of course, it also referred to Wei Xiaobao's motive-execution method in "The Legend of Deer and Ding" (staying up late), and as a result, I found that the effect was surprisingly good!

101 has never been a person who hides his selfishness, so I will share it and show it to everyone, it turns out that the great god writes blood, which is to strengthen the motivation and inner feelings!

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Original text 1:

"Haha! yes, look at him like that!" Several people behind Lei Hao laughed, and they all cast disdainful glances on Shi Dong.

Mao Feifei turned around, glared at Lei Hao angrily, and shouted: "Lei Hao, how do you speak......? You little rooster dare to insult my brother like this, I think you owe a beating!" strode forward, raised his fist and was about to smash it.

Lei Hao was startled, but he didn't expect Mao Feifei to do it when he said it, so he quickly withdrew two steps, and with another move, the powerful ghost jumped out of the air and blocked in front of him.

The people around him hulala pushed back, afraid that the two would fight and hurt themselves.

Shi Dong stood there without moving, as if none of this had anything to do with him, his eyes flickering, as if he was thinking about something. (Motivation generated)

Suddenly, he strode between the two, stretched out his hand to pull Mao Feifei behind him, and grinned at Lei Hao: "Young Master Lei, you are right, I was indeed reprimanded by the master, and people like me should be like this, are you satisfied?"

Comment: The reader has doubts about the protagonist's behavior next, and it is not clear what changes have taken place in his heart? Although there is an explanation afterwards, when reading at the time, it affects the identification with the protagonist's behavior.

Modified:

Shi Dong stood there without moving, as if none of this had anything to do with him, his eyes flickering, thinking about what the master had just said, thinking about the two door rules......

A faint voice said to him in the bottom of his heart: "Shi Dong, Shi Dong, can you survive in this demon gate by swallowing your anger? The enemy is pressing forward step by step, trampling on your dignity, robbing you of the opportunity to cultivate, and even killing you quickly, these ...... Can you take it?"

In a trance, he went back to the time when he was beaten by Surabaya City, the hand holding the meatloaf was trampled, and countless fists rained down on his body, and the vicious proprietress scolded on the side: "Beat this thief to death! Let him steal it!" At that time, he cried loudly: "Stop fighting, please stop fighting! I haven't eaten for three days, I ...... I just want to live, I just want to go home and see my mom and sister, can't I?"

Just want to live!

I want to go home and see my mom and sister!

It's all ...... Isn't it possible?

Such a voice echoed in his heart, and gradually, Shi Dong's two fists were clenched, the corners of his mouth were curled, and his eyes flashed with anger.

A different kind of power burst out from his heart!

Suddenly, he strode between the two, stretched out his hand and pulled Mao Feifei behind him, grinning at Lei Hao, his eyes flashing with mockery, "Young Master Lei, you are right, I was indeed admonished by the master, people like me should be like this, are you satisfied?"

Comments: Expanding the motivation to write and digging deep into the characters' hearts and emotions will give the reader a strong sense of identity, and then have expectations for subsequent behaviors. The biggest feature of Jin Yong's book writing is that at the critical moment, the motivation of the characters is explained in a timely and proper manner, so that people can agree with the protagonist's approach all the time.

Especially in passive situations, the explanation of the protagonist's motivation is especially important, so that the reader can understand the meaning behind the character's extraordinary behavior. Of course, sometimes the protagonist's motives are hidden and explained after the fact, which is to add to the mystery of the character's breakthrough. The two situations should not be confused, and how they are used depends on the situation.

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Original text 2:

"What are you talking about, dare to scold me!" Lei Hao glanced at him, and the five people jumped off the rock, surrounded the two of them in the center, stretched out his finger and pointed at them and sneered: "You go up, knock them to the ground, and slap me hard." Fuck, there's no rules!"

"Yes!" the four disciples were about to rush forward with the black and shining spirit sword in their hands.

"Slow!" Shi Dong shouted awe-inspiringly, stretched out his hand to stop it, and those disciples couldn't help but stop, "Lei Hao, have you forgotten the door rules?"

"Hahaha......" Lei Hao looked up to the sky and laughed, and said in a joking tone: "The second rule is not to harm the same door." Hehe, where did I kill my fellow disciples? You discussed with Mao Feifei how to go home, this is a defection! For a traitor, it is not the same door, if it is not the same door, what if it is not the same door, I will kill you?" At this point, two knife-like eyes glared at him viciously.

"Aha...... Aha......" Shi Dong also looked up to the sky and laughed, laughing louder than Lei Hao, laughing so much that everyone was inexplicable, I don't know what he was laughing at?

Comments: This is for the consideration of the protagonist's pretense.,There's no trace of explanation for the protagonist's motives to laugh.,It looks inexplicable.,Although there's a strong suspense.,But the sense of identity is not too good.。

Modified:

"Hahaha......" Lei Hao looked up to the sky and laughed, and said in a joking tone: "The second rule is not to harm the same door." Hehe, where did I kill my fellow disciples? You discussed with Mao Feifei how to go home, this is a defection! For a traitor, it is not the same door, if it is not the same door, what if it is not the same door, I will kill you?" At this point, two knife-like eyes glared at him viciously.

Shi Dong's heart froze, and he quickly calculated, seeing that the other party was prepared for today's situation, he was bound to not give up, and it seemed that it would not work if he didn't do it. But if you do it, there are five people on the other side, and all of them are not low in cultivation, especially Lei Hao is the third layer of the Qi refining period, and he and his eldest brother are only the second layer of the Qi refining period, so it is difficult to have a chance of winning in the melee.

How's that for good?

His eyes quickly swept over the other party, and when he saw the four people surrounding him with mockery on their faces, they looked like cats and mice, and suddenly had a plan in their hearts.

"Aha...... Aha......" Shi Dong also looked up to the sky and laughed, laughing louder than Lei Hao, laughing so much that everyone was inexplicable, I don't know what he was laughing at?

Comments: Although this still hides the protagonist's true intentions, it explains the situation and the psychological evolution of the protagonist's strange behavior, which paves the way for the subsequent defeat of the enemy. Because the protagonist's laughter distracted the enemy, coupled with the enemy's negligence, this is a success. It reflects the resourcefulness of the protagonist, rather than simply unreasonable pretense.

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Finally, a few thoughts. There are so many things that need to be paid attention to when writing a novel, and many things may not be appreciated just by reading a book.

Only when you make mistakes and think deeply can you grasp the key points that you have overlooked. Sometimes, it is often such a subtle point that determines the outcome of the victory, and if you do it, the whole book will look new!