There is a common problem in writing fiction called "narrative loss". Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

What is the "lack of narrative" is that in a character dialogue or scene description, it makes people feel awkward, halfway through the words, incomplete, and always feel that there is something missing.

This kind of problem, under high-speed reading, although I will not pay special attention to it, but I always feel awkward, the plot is not smooth, and it is impossible for readers to 100% substitute the scene of the story, and the characters are fake, so it is a problem that is easy to be ignored by the author and has a great impact.

For example:

After the age of sixteen, Yang Yue was driven out of the Luoxia Sect and came to the mortal world to manage a pawnshop. (Lack of reasons for driving out the Luoxia Sect and running a pawnshop)

"Uncle Wang, I have something to go out in the evening. Yang Yue sat cross-legged on the ground, wiping an emerald green jade ring with a wet tissue in his hand, and the reluctance in his eyes was almost dripping.

Outside the door, an old voice said intermittently, "You...... Say...... Miscellaneous...... I'm ...... Listen...... No...... See!" (explanation of the reason for the lack of intermittent speech)

"Don't pretend," Yang Yue rolled his eyes and deliberately lowered his voice: "I said, I'm going to the western suburbs to collect something at night, and what comes out may be a magic weapon." ”

The door was pushed open with a "bang", and an old man with snow-white hair, eyebrows, and beard rushed in three steps and two steps, and simply sat down cross-legged in front of Yang Yue.

This is the first sentence that the author set in his work after listening to me talk about the use of "hook". Although this beginning makes people wonder, why the protagonist was kicked out of the sect at the age of 16, and why he came to the mortal world to manage a pawnshop. But in his next lines, he did not focus on the two points of "driving out of the sect" and "running a pawnshop", so it caused a lack of narrative.

This kind of "narrative absence" is called "causal absence", and there is only effect, and there is no cause.

If it weren't for the suspense that follows, it would be better to deal with it in-

After the age of sixteen, Yang Yue was kicked out of the Luoxia Sect and came to the mortal world to manage a pawnshop, as for the reason, hum, Yang Yue guessed that it was because he was too handsome and was jealous.

That's it, but there's still a lot of suspense.

Another "narrative missing" is where the old voice speaks intermittently, which is a special character behavior that has three possibilities:

1) The character is sick and panting for breath, 2) the soundproofing of the door, and 3) the mystery of the trick.

The author designed it to be "tricky", and the protagonist says "stop pretending" immediately after the text is followed.

However, 101 believes that the explanation here is far-fetched, and in fact it is still a "narrative deficit", because in the following paragraph, the old man rushed in with three steps and two steps, and did not continue to speak so intermittently, so is this kind of "pretending" a habit? Why "pretending"? I don't understand.

For example, if the old naughty boy is always giggling, pretending to be crazy and stupid is a norm, of course, he also has very serious times, that is, when he mentions Duan Huangye and Yinggu, so readers can understand his left and right hand fighting, his nonsense, this character does this, it is in the same vein throughout the book, not stiff, not awkward.

There is also Hai Dafu in "The Legend of Deer and Ding", this old eunuch kept coughing as soon as he appeared, and this behavior was also an abnormal state, so Jin Yong explained in the later text that this person's cough was due to internal injuries from practice, and he kept coughing, and he needed to take a medicine with strong side effects.

But just imagine, if Jin Yong wrote about a Hai Dafu who kept coughing, and the little Guizi who served him said: "Father-in-law, don't pretend." ”

The reader will be puzzled, what to pretend, and why?

Therefore, this kind of "narrative missing" is the lack of reasonable explanation for the strange behavior of the characters.

(Some author friends said,This is obviously a problem of illogical logic.,How can it be called a lack of narrative?The following 101 try to rewrite it.,Let's see what content has been added.,Is it smoother?)

After the age of sixteen, Yang Yue was kicked out of the Luoxia Sect and came to the mortal interface to manage a pawnshop.

Every month, Yang Yue had to carefully select a batch of things for the sect.

On this day, Yang Yue sat cross-legged on the floor of the room, wiping an emerald green jade ring with a wet tissue, the greed in his eyes seemed to be about to drip out, and he said casually to the door: "Uncle Wang, I want to go out at night." ”

After a pause, an old voice came in from outside the door: "You...... Say...... Miscellaneous...... Why, I...... Listen...... No...... See. ”

"Don't pretend," Yang Yue pouted, and said in his heart that this Uncle Wang just likes to pretend to be a ghost, and his ears are very smart, but he pretends not to hear.

So I deliberately kept my voice low," I said...... I ...... at night If you want to go to the western suburbs to collect something, it may be a magic weapon. ”

When he said the word "magic weapon", his voice was so low that he could barely hear it.

Unexpectedly, the door was pushed open, and an old man with gray hair, beard, and eyebrows trotted all the way to Yang Yue's side: "What did you just say...... Magic weapon?" His face was red with excitement, and his small eyes stared at Yang Yue directly, like a cat that saw a fish.

Yang Yue couldn't help but laugh, glanced at the old man angrily, and said coldly: "I didn't say it must be, but I just saw the photos, it's a bit like breaking Faerun." ”

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101 Before reading the draft to newcomers, I also saw a kind of "narrative missing"-

The protagonist swings his sword and slashes down, and a blood line appears on the neck of the enemy soldier (missing the follow-up of the enemy soldier who was cut down), and the other enemy soldiers are stunned when they see him so brave and dare not move forward.

The following is the discussion in the group at that time, everyone's opinions, some people feel awkward, and some people haven't paid attention to it.

101st rejection (630268437) 12:15:58

What's the problem here?

Fried noodles (609304282) 12:16:06

Why don't you write me and my friends were stunned

nondeep(2272359455)12:16:25

I don't know, it's just a little uncomfortable to read

Mithril (470725994) 12:16:26

What's the problem?

101st rejection (630268437) 12:16:42

Think carefully

Mithril (470725994) 12:16:46

I don't think there's anything wrong with that

Sky (646296908) 12:16:46

I've seen a lot of wars, and I actually said that I was brave

Mu Mu (609050508) 12:17:06

A line of blood appeared and fell off the horse.

Rain and dust (2581681556) 12:17:09

A line of blood... Contradict Bravery

Rain and dust (2581681556) 12:17:30

The head flies so that it does not violate the harmony

Mithril (470725994) 12:17:37

Courage is used a little off the line

Seeking Mystery (232592747) 12:17:55

It's okay to split half of it

Mithril (470725994) 12:18:02

There are also problems with the head flying

Sky (646296908) 12:18:02

Half of the head is still left after a knife, and half of it is neatly slippery, so it is a brave knife

101st rejection (630268437) 12:18:04

The content is missing, Mu Mu and Yuchen are right

The blood line appeared, the person did not fall, the head fell off, and he did not say anything

Since this beat is not finished, the next one cannot be carried out

The beat is the smallest plot unit

This problem is called narrative loss

In McGee's Principles of Writing, the beat is mentioned, which is generally a complete cycle of stimulus-response, as a beat.

For example, if he kisses her, that's a stimulus, and if she blushes, that's a reaction.

There is only a stimulus, no response, and the absence is created.

The stimulus-response principle, which is explained in detail in the 101 highly recommended book writing tips.

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101st rejection (630268437) 12:20:26

The lack of narrative is not only possible in this situation, but also in the dialogue between 2 people, 1 person asks the other person 3 questions, and that person only answers 2

The rest of the question was swallowed by the author, and the first person didn't remember to ask it again

Mumu (609050508) 12:21:11

Poof, I've come across this question ==

One man wrote that he killed three people and ended up burying two bodies.

I asked him what you were doing with a corpse and telling me...... The number is wrong--

Rain and dust (2581681556) 12:21:48

Well, 101 said it very reasonably, I don't feel it when I look at it quickly, and it's wrong when I think about it

101st rejection (630268437) 12:22:40

The biggest drawback of the lack of narrative is that it makes people feel fake

It's like breathing in one breath, and you're stuck halfway through

Not smooth

nondeep(2272359455)12:24:42

Wait a minute, I've thought about this example carefully, and the question isn't over yet

101st rejection (630268437) 12:24:55

In fact, it is very simple to correct, every behavior of the character, follow: behavior - result

Given the behavior, the result must also be given

If the result is given first, the reason must also be given

Speech is the result, and the reader expects the cause

Rain and dust (2581681556) 12:25:44

Well, when you hit someone, the other party will either hurt or scream, and you will be beaten away

The other party resisted for a while and didn't respond, and there was indeed a problem

nondeep(2272359455)12:26:59

The protagonist swings his knife and slashes down, and a blood line appears on the neck of the enemy soldier, and then he falls, and his body is in a different place, and the other enemy soldiers are stunned when they see him so brave, and they dare not move forward.

The protagonist swings his knife and slashes down, and a blood line appears on the neck of the enemy soldier, and then he falls, his head is in a different place, and his head rolls on the ground for a long time, and the other enemy soldiers are stunned when they see him so brave, and they dare not move forward.

What does it mean to be truly at the end?

101st rejection (630268437) 12:28:15

Just don't be verbose

Rain and dust (2581681556) 12:28:27

101 means that you can at least give a result, any of them

101st rejection (630268437) 12:28:37

The reason why everyone thinks it's fake here is that-

The blood line appeared, and the body did not fall, that is, 0.a few seconds

In a few tenths of a second, the enemy soldiers did not have time to react

I was only frightened when I saw my head fall off

If handled in slow motion, the enemy soldiers will still be charging when the bloodline appears

rushed to the front, waved his spear and was about to stab, when the first man's head fell, and the enemy soldier trembled in fright and did not dare to move

To put it bluntly, writing a book is to use words to depict a dynamically evolving world

It's not a freeze

The characters are not ornaments

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Finally, another kind of "narrative missing" -

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed again and again, and said: "The slave is a bargain, the emperor can repay the money on the ground, and if he can't retreat to Luding, then it's okay to return to be a master and a child." ”

Kangxi wanted to scare him, so that he could know some of the rules of the imperial court, but he knew that this person was born a villain in the market, although he was a first-class public and a general, but his rogue temper did not change at all, and he couldn't help but be angry and funny, and shouted: "Fuck, you stand up!"

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed and stood up.

The above is the original text, in the middle of the dialogue between Wei Xiaobao and Kangxi, an explanation from the author's perspective is used to explain the reason why Wei Xiaobao said this, and also explains the reason for Kangxi's reaction below, which has the effect of bridging and lubricating the cause and effect of the dialogue between the two.

Let's remove that explanation and let's see the taste.

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed again and again, and said: "The slave is a bargain, the emperor can repay the money on the ground, and if he can't retreat to Luding, then it's okay to return to be a master and a child." ”

Kangxi was angry and funny, and shouted: "Fuck, you stand up!"

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed and stood up.

If you deal with it like this, although it is smooth, but the characters are not full enough, and if you think about it carefully, the reader doesn't know why Wei Xiaobao is so bold and dares to bargain with the emperor, nor why Kangxi feels angry and funny, because according to common sense, one person bargains, shouldn't the other continue to bargain with him?

And with the addition of that explanation, it will be clear to the reader that Wei Xiaobao is a bastard in the market and is lazy by nature, and Kangxi knows that he has this temperament, once he starts to play scoundrels, then unless he kills his head, he will be dragged into his rhythm by scoundrels, and he will eventually be dizzy, so he will simply spare him.

This kind of "narrative missing" is the most difficult to find, and only by reading it repeatedly with a sense of language can we figure out where the content is missing?

101 also had a period of writing character dialogues that always felt dry and fake, and I didn't know what was wrong, and then I went to read Jin Yong's novels, only to find that he sometimes added some explanations of words and deeds in the middle of the dialogue when dealing with character dialogues, telling readers why the character did this, it was really smooth and natural to read, and the character image was also full, so 101 learned a trick from this.

Finally, let's talk about "white space".

Sometimes it is deliberately not written a part of the information, leaving the reader to guess, which is different from "narrative missing".

Like what:

I dialed the phone, and a muffled voice came immediately, XXX seemed to be brushing his teeth, and I vaguely felt the smell of black toothpaste wafting down the phone line.

It seems to see xxx's soft red lips, a pink toothbrush in and out, foaming at the mouth.

I imagined that it would be nice to change the toothbrush to a part of my body.

Forced press excited, I asked xxx Are you brushing your teeth?

She was stunned for a moment, and said vaguely: No.

I was stunned and suddenly wanted to jump off the building.

This one...... Imagination is endless, all kinds of possibilities haha......