Your Nan brother has been in a bad state lately.

Because of nostalgia.

Because I miss.

Because I can't let go of the past.

Because......

I have completely forgotten the saying, 'We owe each other, or why should we repay.'" Put yourself in a dilemma.

The day before New Year's Day, my ex and I talked on the phone for four hours.

On that day, I swore that I was ready for New Year's Eve.

I made an appointment with several old friends, maybe to the Bund in Shanghai, maybe to a quiet bar, maybe at Luo Zhenyu's New Year's Eve speech, maybe on a trip.

But from the moment I received this phone call, I knew that all I could do that day was to remember.

I don't want to say anything about poetry and songs, looking at the stars and looking at the moon, those beautiful memories that are sweet to the bones, after separation, they seem so ridiculous, and the original vow is fragile and vulnerable.

All along, I just didn't let go of it alone.

Even a few days after years of breakup, I can't put it into words.

I won't be with her again.

But I found out that I still loved her.

It's like the heartbreaking kind when I was told to break up.

But I'm not going to be with her anymore.

Because, it's been too long.

I especially like Fu Seoul's saying: "Born as a human being, how can you know what love is at the moment when you are not down to the dust." ”

I've experienced it.

But I don't want to be with her anymore.

……

I don't know the age level of the book friends who accompany Bai Nan, maybe the adolescent teenagers and girls make up the largest proportion, I'm not sure if you can feel the struggle in my heart, and I'm not sure if you can understand what it means to be heartbreaking.

Of course you don't understand.

You can't even empathize.

But I still like you guys.

He has always been to me.

……

After hanging up the phone, I had a chance to get up and wash, I didn't eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, bought a movie ticket for my predecessor three, and slipped into the theater like a thief.

I don't want people to see that I'm going to see it alone.

I watched the movie almost with a sneer.

But there will still be the cooperation that should be there.

When it was time to laugh, I didn't hold back and laughed out loud.

And more than once.

Until near the end of the film, the female protagonist said goodbye to the male protagonist eating mangoes and was full of allergies, and the male protagonist wore the service of the Supreme Treasure and shouted "I love you" over and over again in the square.

I was uncomfortable.

The heart-rending pain in my heart is no longer the same heart-rending pain as it was back then.

But it was like a thorn, pierced in the heart, and could not be pulled out.

Chronic.

It's hard to endure.

The film ends, and it ends.

Most of the people who cried were girls, and there were many boys.

The couples all left, and those who sat there for a long time and refused to leave came to see alone. I didn't want to be a maverick and the last thought to leave sat at the end.

In the end, there were only a few distracted young people left in the cinema.

I finally raised my footsteps, looked at a girl crying not far away, and couldn't help but hand over a tissue: "Alone?"

She looked up, glanced at me, took the tissue, and said thank you reservedly.

That thank you was like a strange greeting after I broke up with her.

The girl and I pretended to have a hot pot meal.

Until you miss the last subway.

……

It wasn't until I got into the taxi that I came to my senses.

There are no girls.

That hot pot, from beginning to end, was just me.

The chopsticks that were picking up the vegetables fell on the opposite side, and it wasn't until I returned to my cabin that I finally dared to cry out loud under the covers.