"Thursday, 26 July 2001, cloudy with light rain.

It turns out that the weather can really feel people's moods, Li He, if you leave, my story will end. But Li He, I'm gone, and your story will continue. ”

"Friday, 27 July 2001, moderate rain.

Because I dreamed of you again at night, and when I woke up, I found that my pillow was wet from crying. Yeda will never understand why I propose to break up, and Westerners probably really won't understand why there is a kind of love called letting go. In fact, I didn't think too much, I just knew that in the years to come, I may not be by your side for a long time, and you are a restless little wolf dog, rather than letting you worry about me and look ahead, it is better to simply let you go. ”

"On Saturday, July 28, 2001, it was still raining.

Yes, it's still raining, like I still don't have an appetite. Whenever I think that I will never be able to be by your side as your girlfriend from now on, I feel a little overwhelmed. But I'll have to get used to it, and you'll get used to it, and I know you won't forget me, but you'll find happiness in your days without me. Go chase Mulberry Quinoa, she is more suitable to be your girlfriend than me, Jinzhu is also very good, but Jinzhu is more suitable to be your sister, as for Sister Qingyan, I am not too optimistic, the relationship between you is not suitable for love.

You see, I'm much better, I'm helping you analyze your love, but I'm recommending my biggest opponent. If I'm a little more selfish and hold on to you, you're going to miss the mulberry, and without it, without me, I guess, you're going to become indifferent to love, and you're going to have a lot of girls, no, women. You're not a strong-willed person, so you're bound to be like this. I don't want you to be like that one day, and mulberry can be your last line of defense. Maybe it's stupid for me to think so, but I'm not actually giving you to someone else, I just hope that when we meet in a few years, you don't become the kind of person I spurn, in the final analysis, this is also a kind of selfishness. ”

"Sunday, August 12, 2001, fine.

I moved today, and Yeda said if we don't move out, maybe you'll come back to me. I said if you want to come back to me, why should I let you go? I'm not so pretentious to play a game of love, no. I'm no longer trying to make her understand that an oriental love affair is really just a breakup, there's nothing to die or live, right? Time can kill everything, I'm much better now, right?"

"Sunday, September 30, 2001, fine.

I don't know how to describe my mood today, Li He, in a world without you, I can't face it calmly, I always miss you, and it hurts when I think about you. Maybe God feels sorry for me, and it has given me an unexpected gift. Do you think that I'm pregnant, and I have you in my body. Abortion is not legal in the UK, and that helped me to make up my mind that I would let this child come into the world, hopefully a boy, and I think it must be a lot like you. But it would be good if it was a daughter, and the daughter was the mother's little padded jacket.

Li He, when I knew that I had a child, I was thinking about one thing very seriously, that is, my life after the age of eighteen should have been a blank, and it was because of you that I could see more beauty. You know what? I've always felt that you have secrets, I can't say, but I think your secrets have something to do with the blank life that I was supposed to have. Maybe one day, I will return to the blank space where I originally belonged, I don't know why I have such thoughts, maybe you don't belong to this world, I am also long dead, I am not afraid that you will forget me, but I am a little afraid that when you find that this world no longer has me, you will lose your way.

But now I'm relieved, if one day I die, then at least our children can reassure you that you belong to this world. So, if I die, even though I know that my mom and dad will also want to find sustenance in my child, I will be selfish and leave the child to you, they will at least have each other, and you need this child to prove your existence. ”

"On Friday, January 4, 2002, it snowed heavily.

Li He, I have been punished, very serious, placed on probation, although I am still in the UK, the pregnancy can no longer be hidden. The school's advice was to let me return to China immediately, but the doctor at the hospital told me that the fetus's condition was a little unstable during this time and that I could not do long-distance flights. Our child will be born in the UK, but I won't let her claim LinkedIn citizenship. By the way, it was her, and Dr. Margaret told me that the result of the examination was that it was a daughter, and they had no habit of looking at her sex, nor did they have the habit of deliberately hiding it from pregnant women. It's a daughter, of course, she has to be like me, because her mother is very beautiful. Li He, do you know, now I am very happy every day, whether it is the punishment of the school, or the unknown future, nothing matters. But what should she be called? Forgive me for not having enough old poetry in my head right now. ”

"On Friday, January 18, 2002, it was raining.

The leaders of the school came to talk to me, and they had no choice but to wait for me to give birth to my child. The leader told me that although the school gave me a punishment, it did not affect my graduation, and the school still valued me very much, and also sent me some condolences. I know that some professions are self-chosen, and some professions are a need.

Thinking of this, I think of you again. I don't know if this is also a kind of fate, I didn't have this life in the first place, and it was because you cheated (why did I think that?) that let me stay. Because of this, my life cannot be chosen by myself.

I don't know why I applied for such a university and such a major during the college entrance examination, because I am not a strong girl in nature, maybe I am really destined. But I don't regret it, I now know that since I was lucky enough to have one more life, then this life should be more meaningful. There is one thing I recognize, that is, the interests of the motherland are above all else, and I used to think that this was just a slogan, but in the past two years abroad, I have become more and more aware of the existence of individuals, and if there is no support from the state, that kind of existence is also small and humble.

So one day, when you think I'm gone out of this world, maybe not. I'm just doing what I have to do and doing my part.

That's why I have to break up with you, but the more important reason is that I love you, so I'm willing to let you find your happiness and joy. ”

Ji Xiao's diary is not very thick, and she doesn't keep a diary every day, Li He locked himself in the study and spent two days reading Ji Xiao's days several times over and over again. There were a few times when I came out, I heard the baby's cry, and ran out clumsily, unable to help anything in front of the two mothers, just looked at the baby stupidly, and there was a father's smile on the bearded and scumbag face.

There were not many relics of Ji Liao handed over to Li He by the two police officers that day, there were some photos of them, some letters written by Li He to Ji Liao, and among all the relics, the most important was the diary. After the birth of the child, Ji Xiao wrote some diaries sporadically, which mentioned many times that if she left this world one day, she must hand the child into Li He's hands. And the school finally respected her intentions and handed over the child and related items to Li He.

She also mentioned in her diary that if she could take care of the children herself, then no matter who Li He was with, she would not bother them. But if she is no longer alive, she must also ask Li He's girlfriend to forgive her, as a mother, she can't let her child lose her parents at the same time.

After Li He completely walked out of the study, he changed his clothes and went out, only to find that it was also snowing heavily. He called Sang Quinoa before going out, maybe Sang Quino's phone was not at hand, so he didn't answer, but Li He didn't wait for Sang Quinoa to answer the phone, so he drove directly to Sang Quino's house.

Sang Quinoa didn't call back halfway, but when Li He arrived, Sang Quinoa was already standing under the street lamp some distance from the teacher's dormitory area with an umbrella. In the heavy snowfall, the mulberries under the street lamps looked a little thin and a little haggard. But when he saw Li He, whose eyes were sunken and his face was full of stubble, Sang Quinoa still tried to smile at the corners of his mouth, and comforted him with wet eyes.

"Mulberry, I don't believe Ji Yu is dead. As soon as Li He saw Mulberry, he grabbed her hand and eagerly expressed his thoughts.

Mulberry held the umbrella on Li He's head, and in the heavy snow, she looked at Li He with wet eyes, and said in a deep voice: "Li He, I know you are very uncomfortable, but you have to face reality." She saw that Li He was eager to distinguish, so she took out the hand that was held by Li He, covered his mouth, and said, "Listen to me, Li He, I hope Ji Yu is still alive than you." You won't understand, in fact, since I was with you, Ji Xiao has always been a knot in my heart. Later, I calmed down, and I believe that one day, in your heart, I will surpass her. But now it's impossible, she's dead, she's dead, and she'll always be the most important person in your heart. So Li He, I'm really, I really want Ji Yu to be alive more than you. But we have to face reality, you have to face reality, and I have to face reality, don't we?"

As Mulberry spoke, tears flowed silently. Knowing of Ji Xiao's death, Mulberry was saddened. It's not like what she told Li He, there are so many other things in her sadness, she is just sad. In fact, she has never regarded Ji Xiao as an enemy, and she knows that Ji Yu has never regarded her as an enemy either, which they understood each other very well when Sang Quinoa saw off Ji Liao at the airport.

There is also a special friendship between Mulberry and Ji Liao. In fact, seriously speaking, Ji Yu has few friends, and Sang Quinoa has few friends, so they understand each other better, if there is one person who really understands them, it is Li He. It's strange, a boy who also looks ordinary.

Sang Quinoa is very sad, putting Li He aside, she needs a friend like Ji Xiao very much. But it is impossible for her to put aside Li He, but when her relationship with Li He enters the best stage, it is like high-pitched music and beautiful fireworks, which will be broken when you say it. Maybe she shouldn't have said that the 8 days in the hospital were the 8 happiest days they were together, because with the word "most", it condensed there.

Mulberry shed a lot of tears, she never shed so many tears, she was a proud princess from childhood to adulthood, she would never admit defeat to anyone, so she didn't like to shed tears either. But this time she must have lost, she didn't lose to Ji Yu herself, maybe, what she lost to was something called fate.

Li He took Sang Quino's hand away from his mouth, held it in his hand, and helped Sang Quinoa wipe away his tears with the other hand, and said: "Mulberry, you look at me, you see that I don't want to live or die and don't want to accept the reality, so I tell you here that I don't believe that Ji Yu is dead? I'm calm, isn't I? I say this not because I can't face it, if I see Ji Yu die with my own eyes, no matter how sad I am, I will let myself face it." But ......"

Sang Quinoa looked at Li He quietly, waiting for him to continue, although he seemed to be very calm, but sometimes the surface calmness was just that he gave himself a reason in his heart that was enough to make himself believe?

Li He continued: "I read the diary left by Ji Xiao, and then I found that some parts of the back were missing, maybe it was herself, maybe someone else, who tore out some important information. But it doesn't matter, in fact, she has been hinting to me in her diary that she will leave this world for some special reasons, and this departure is not death, but, let's put it this way, change an identity, which sounds a bit like the plot in the movie, but the plot in the movie was originally adapted from real things, but this kind of thing happened to us. To put it simply, in order to convince people that there is no more such person as her in this world, she can only 'die', including her family, and everyone will think that she is dead. ”

Sang Quinoa looked at Li He and nodded slowly.

Li He continued: "I know you don't believe it, and I also know that this is just my speculation. However, I also asked Uncle Zhuo to find a relationship to read Ji Xiao's autopsy report, the most original report, I learned ...... With some forensic knowledge, I can see that the bullet holes in the photo were not punched before his death, and that the body was always a little blurry, a kind of blurry that is technically unconventional. The corpse was not Ji Liao's, and if I could see the corpse with my own eyes, I would be even more sure of that. But they said that the body was cremated as soon as it was brought back, and in fact, I know that they didn't even bring the body back. There are secrets that we can't know, including her parents. ”

Mulberry's eyes lit up a little, and I have to say that Li He analyzed it very well, and he really didn't look like he was deceiving himself. But so what?

Li He's voice sank and said, "Mulberry, in fact, I know, this is just my speculation. Ji Xiao may really be dead, even if my speculation is right, she is performing some extremely special characters, she is still alive, the person 'Ji Liao' is also dead, even if she is still alive, I may never see her again. It's just that there is at least one hope. Actually," he smiled wryly, "In the end, I can't tell if I'm making a fool of myself." In fact, such a faint hope will be more tormenting, but there is always hope. ”

Sang Quinoa took a deep breath, tried to make himself laugh, and said, "It's always good to have hope, Li He, you are very haggard, go back and rest for a few days." No matter what, you have to go on. ”

"Good. Li He nodded obediently, and finally looked at the mulberry again, and stopped talking.

"Rest assured. Sang Quinoa saw Li He's worries, smiled and said, "I won't leave you." ”

At least not during your saddest days.

After Li He left, Sang Quinoa said another sentence softly.