Chapter Twenty-Three: The Filling of the Heart

The world in front of you...

Full of flaws...

From the time I woke up, I didn't want to face such a world. Pen Fun Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

Isn't it too sad to wake up and look at such a world, even if you have been watching yourself for several years, except for death?

So, just go blind.

The first time I woke up, I thrust my stiff fingers into my eyes, and if I could get my wish, I probably wouldn't have to see that kind of world, right?

But alas, it was stopped.

The stiffness of the fingers was beyond my expectations.

It's just an injury, not a blindness.

It's so annoying...

In the past few days, a lot of people who know have come, including their own fathers and mothers, eldest brothers, housekeepers, and some inexplicable people.

That's right, it's just that I know...

Are you two rituals, or two rituals?

No... It probably can't be the latter, but for his own sake, the man named Ori is dead.

But is the person he saves himself?

I'm not sure, I know what to know, but I can't have any real sense of myself.

I really don't understand what the hell is going on.

I don't like it, but I can't help it.

It must be night, the temperature has dropped, and the cool air on the skin is annoying.

It's obviously a person who comes into contact with death, but he longs for life, which not only makes him feel ironic.

And then... that thing appeared...

Should it be a 'cold aggregate' or a 'grievance'?

I don't know how to describe it, but this thing that has appeared recently is definitely not a good thing.

It doesn't really matter if you die, right? I don't expect to die, but I don't cherish life that much.

It's just that there is something that haunts me and makes it impossible for me to die.

Is it a formula? Is it weaving?

Or...

A dark-haired man with black-rimmed glasses who looks more stupid than old-fashioned and reliable appears in his mind.

-- Kurokuri.

I remember the name.

Is that him...

I don't know...

The hollowness in my heart is so empty and uncomfortable, it is as unbearable as if I have gouged out a piece of my soul. It was as if something needed to fill the loneliness.

But what could it be...

I didn't know, no doubt, so I just waited.

That thing just stayed in the room, probably watching me, right?

So, another night, I spent the night in silent waiting, and it was not until the first rays of warmth in the morning hit my hand that it disappeared...

So I probably knew... It turns out that it's a ghost...

I, went to sleep.

・・・

・・・

In my heart, I have a bad premonition.

Rod put down the pen in his hand and looked up at the window.

Of course, there will be nothing.

"Aya, can't it be faster?"

"No, the necessary processes still need to be done - are you so eager to be a sacrifice?"

"There's no such thing"

"No, Rodritte, you are looking forward to your death, you are longing for atonement, you think you are sinful now, you don't agree with what you are doing, you can't deny that"

-- Last night's conversation suddenly appeared in my mind, like a curse, and I couldn't breathe.

Knowing that this was just an illusion, Rod still subconsciously put his hand on the neckline and pulled the neckline a little.

Really, a mistake that's hard to refute.

Rhodes didn't think what Araya was right.

He didn't believe that there was anyone in the world who knew him better than he did.

Araya wouldn't know what was going on with him, so how could he know what he was thinking?

The world is so filthy that it should be washed away -- it's just such a simple thing, thinking that you are wrong?

However, the rebuttal in the heart was met with a stubborn cry.

I don't know whose voice is loudly laughing at his own vacillation.

'Destroy the world, can you do it?'

Of course, Rodriit tried to convince himself, but he didn't succeed.

More worries emerge from the bottom of my heart, which makes people irritable.

Forget it... I can't sit still anyway, so let's go out for a walk...

Thinking so, Rhodes stood up, picked up his coat, and walked out of the room.

Walking along the long road, the hospital will not go for a long time.

Although he was very unwilling, he strictly forbade it.

Rhodes did not intend to challenge authority, at least when he did not have the relevant ability, so even if he was dissatisfied, he could only endure it.

Believe in Araya's arrangement.

However, that sense of uneasiness cannot be dissipated.

Recently met a new friend,Kurokiri Kanya,Although it's difficult to compare with yourself in grade.,But,,It's a pretty reliable kind of person.。

Regarding Rod's obscure expression of himself now, Hei Tong's statement is that his conscience is the most troublesome.

"A little bit, do what you think, right?"

That's what he said, but Rhodes couldn't tell what he wanted to do and what he didn't want to do.

Mixed thoughts are as confusing as indefinite random numbers.

"I try my best"

"People who can say that would never do that..."

So, in the face of such an irresponsible answer, Heitong could only sigh.

This gentle black young man is a person who really thinks about his friends, which Rod can clearly feel.

So, he was a little sorry.

For the black tung dried also.

It was obviously the person he cared about, but he couldn't honor the other party's kind suggestion, which made him sigh.

"I'm sorry, Kuroki, it's really hard to say"

"Yes, but let's do it a little bit."

"Of course"

can only be so perfunctory, and then, continue to do things that are impossible to change.

I bought a newspaper and opened it, and the flashy pages and thriving words could not hide the noise and utilitarianism of the world.

In terms of entertainment information, all kinds of ridiculous and regrettable state of affairs also attract cheap attention for various reasons.

I don't hate these people, but I want them to die.

It is clear that it is impossible to have a world without class differences, and as long as human beings exist, there will be better and more outstanding, but they yearn for a world in which everyone is equal.

Is this realistic?

Unrealistic, of course.

Rod thought: Actually, it's okay.

If human beings make progress, until a certain era, the knowledge discovered by human beings is a time when human beings cannot learn it in a lifetime, no matter how much human beings learn, it is meaningless, and no matter how hard they try, they can only struggle at the starting line and cannot move forward. The world will be at peace.

But is that possible?

Perhaps, but Rhodes can't afford to wait.

"Araya, I want to die"

Finally, I dialed the Tantric monk again.

There was silence for a long time.

"Why"

"Because I don't want to live"

It's just that simple thing.

Rhodes would never kill himself.

Because it is a sin, a sin that allows one's meaning to be cast abandoned to the ground, to be trampled upon and spit on, useless and powerless.