Feng Zhe kept looking at Li Xueqin, Li Xueqin also looked at him, the snow was floating outside the car, and only the heavy breathing of the two could be heard in the car, Feng Zhe let out a long sigh, and then slowly smiled.

What Li Xueqin can't stand the most is Feng Zhe's laughter, he always didn't smile before, he was very strict, but his smile is so sunny and infectious, which will make him addicted to this bright smile and can't extricate himself, so he panicked and asked: "What? I said it was funny? I really think so, I can't be selfish, and you can be like this, I'm already extravagant, you don't dislike me, right? Don't laugh at me." ”

Feng Zhe said: "No. You say well, but I'm not as good as you say, I'm just a very ordinary person, I can't find it if I lose it in the crowd, I should be grateful for meeting you. I'm nothing, what else do I have but myself? I'm really depressed in this paragraph, and it's you who give me happiness. I'm ashamed, my cousin is like I'm seeking excitement from you to vent my frustration, in fact, I'm also attracted to you, otherwise what is between us? You run around for me, it's too late for me to thank you, I have a lot of gratitude to you, you have no reason to blame yourself so much. I was ashamed to see you for a long time, but your words today let me know your heart, I know that I have resonated with you, and I feel that you are precious. I don't think there's anything in this world that can and can't, just think it's right. I laughed at the word you sent, that Lu, I was in school at that time, there was an African learning Chinese at school, one day he asked me why two mouths together is Lu, two mouths together that is not the meaning of kissing, I said that our country is very peculiar, if you understand it so well, then the word 'product' has become three people kissing together, and the word 'device'? What are four people doing with a dog?"

As soon as Feng Zhe said this, Li Xueqin couldn't stop laughing, the towel wrapped around her chest to absorb NAI water fell, Feng Zhe's eyes were surging, Li Xueqin's appearance was different and beautiful. Feng Zhe stared.

Li Xueqin was already rippling and difficult to control, which would make him feel more under his gaze, not with self-control, but more agitated and cooperative. The two of them did it again.

Li Xueqin has given birth, her body is recovering very well, she has no scruples, both of them can let go, and she has not had sex since before giving birth. Feng Zhe also needs it, he is very successful in the car today, and they are very satisfied with each other, but the snow is getting heavier and heavier, Li Xueqin wants to go back to see the child, and he can't stay here for a long time, the two of them sorted out and drove the car out of the field, fortunately, the car didn't slip much, Li Xueqin was going to send Feng Zhe, Feng Zhe was unwilling to let her run back and forth. said that it was too dangerous, Li Xueqin wanted to ask Feng Zhe to drive the car again, but Feng Zhe still didn't agree, saying that walking in the snow was more poetic.

Li Xueqin said: "I have long seen that you are a person with a romantic temperament, if you carry a red tassel gun and hang a wine gourd, isn't it Lin Chong running at night?" Feng Zhe said: "I don't have the momentum of the 800,000 forbidden army leader, but I want to have the same skills as him." I just want to walk slowly through the snow after I am separated from you. This is the first snow of the year, and it is very memorable. ”

As soon as Feng Zhe said, Li Xueqin couldn't help but kiss him again.

The two finally finished making out in the car. When he arrived at the door of Li Xueqin's mother's house, Feng Zhe was about to get out of the car, Li Xueqin pulled up the hat on his clothes to cover his head, and watched this lone traveler in the snow walk away, before opening the door and entering.

The sky and the earth are vast, and the snow flies like knives, although it is already night. But because of the snow, it was white from far and near, it was a little dazzling, there was a creaking sound under his feet, and he seemed to be the only one on the road, Feng Zhe inexplicably had an indescribable sadness and frustration, the familiar innate loneliness and loneliness arose, lingering, he felt that his position seemed to be the center of the world, but it seemed to be the most remote corner forgotten by the world.

Regardless of happiness or sadness, life continues, many once firm beliefs and obsessions in the heart are a little broken, it seems that he himself has some unrecognizable heart, he has violated the original view of the opposite sex, once felt that having a relationship with a woman can only get instant pleasure and is not beneficial to the soul, but now he is doubting his initial cognition, happiness is happiness, sadness is sadness, after doing it with a woman, the heart is not clear what kind of feeling, is satisfaction, or more silent, there is even a touch of boredom, maybe only in this way to get the happiness that goes deep into the bone marrow, so as to dispel the full stomach of worries and anxiety, a short period of liberation from the predicament in front of you, which seems to be useless, mistakes and knowingly make mistakes are sometimes so vulnerable, just like reason and conscience are reminding people not to take risks and make mistakes, but in specific situations and occasions there is no other way to choose except knowingly, this is actually a kind of pain, angels and devils often make people indistinguishable, angels always do not appear when they need it most, you don't know where he will hide to play or look down on you, but the devil is often always dressed as the beautiful and kind face of the angel to accompany you all the timeEven if you know that beautiful things are the devil's contract, what can you do?

The world is changing, life is changing, people are changing, they have changed a lot, I don't know if I suddenly look back one day in the future, will I feel that the current stage of self is funny and clumsy and immature, but no matter what the result is, we must have the courage to bear it, after all, it is my own life, no one can replace myself for a moment.

As far as the eye can see, the snow is so white, but his heart is so colorful, Feng Zhe can't tell what he is thinking, he also refuses to think about it, stepping on the snow step by step towards the old town government, the snow seems to be deliberately hitting his face and eyes, making it more difficult to move forward, he sweated, and there is still half a distance from the old town government, "don't let the reflection become a memory" on the wall on the side of the road The slogan was impressive, and the mobile phone rang, the sound was too loud in the silent snowy night, Feng Zhe looked at it, and thought that Hu Hongwei had called him to ask if he had arrived at his residence safely, but it was Chai Kejing.

"Feng Zhe, it's snowing in the provincial capital, is there any snow in half of the room?"

Chai Kejing's voice will sound so quiet, like a snow flake, Feng Zhe hummed, Chai Kejing asked: "Why are you breathing so hard?

Feng Zhe really didn't want to speak. He just wanted to listen to Chai Kejing's voice, but Chai Kejing's question couldn't help but answer, so he said, "I'm walking alone in the snow." ”

"Walking? Is this romance, or is it a distraction from loneliness? Do you have any impressions? Great thinker. Chai Kejing and Feng Zhe were joking.

Feng Zhe replied: "I don't know. Today is Hu Hongwei's wedding day. He had asked me to make a hole in his house, but I came back. Because the more lively I was, the more I felt like my spirit was going to fall apart, and I felt like I had some symptoms of a split personality. ”

Chai Kejing felt Feng Zhe's heavy breathing and the sound of stepping on snow from the earpiece, and wanted to say something. Feng Zhe paused and continued: "I have been thinking about what I want to do in the future since the day I left school, in fact, I was still hesitating from the moment I was admitted to the civil service, and I asked myself if this industry was suitable for me while waiting for the notice. It's only been two years now, and I've been weighing the pros and cons for two years. ”

"Weigh the pros and cons?"

"Yes. There are a lot of things that can be done in this world, and the reason why I have persisted in this industry until now is because I can't let go, I can't let go, I don't want to give up halfway, and it is my heart to stick to the end, in fact, I understand those who are detached in officialdom. These detached people can be understood as people like the officialdom, or bureaucrats like Xu Huanzhang, and of course they can also be understood as antagonists who have different political views from their own, and they are wise, because they have already seen through it, and they don't believe in anything, they believe in the vested interests in front of them, and if you want Xu Huanzhang and others to take the benefits that can be obtained by reaching out, how can it be possible? And people like Li Xiangui and Liu Qicai, who are in Meishan, are just doing things according to the law of survival. They know what is true and what is good, they don't even need to think about the process of knowing what kind of life they want to live, what kind of person they want to be, and it is ridiculous and ignorant to talk to them about life and philosophy. We, no, it's me, I'm actually too sensitive to tie myself up and let go of my hands and feet, too sure of what I'm supposed to do. I hate that I used to be too proud, if I pursued you at school, regardless of my inferiority complex and turned into pride and indifference to confess to you, what would be the result? Time has passed, I can't do it again, and if Qiu Zhangqing will be in Meishan, I can tell her my concerns in advance, what is it now? It's not that the road is uneven, but I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it in many ways, and in the end, my ideology can't direct my actions, and thinking too much will make me hold back and lose a lot! It sounds like a compliment, but it's derogatory to me, I care too much about my small and pathetic image, what image do I have?"

Feng Zhe never said anything slightly deeper to Chai Kejing, and the two had never involved such content together, so Chai Kejing fell into silence.

"Last year, Liu Fen and I went to Gannan to collect contract fees, and there were two young ladies who knocked on the door in the middle of the night, and I didn't want to open the door at first, but those two young ladies were indomitable, and I wanted them to knock all the time, but why did I feel bad? What do they do to care about me? I was just one of their many undirected choices that night, but I was afraid that I would be affected, afraid that others would think that I was recruiting Miss, and I opened the door out of a ridiculous sense of politeness, although I finally confirmed their identities and refused, they still left with a smile on their faces, didn't they feel annoyed in their hearts? After all, if the business with me was not done, they would have to choose another one to try, but they still laughed when they were angry, who called them to be young ladies. ”

"What kind of character is what kind of fate, where is their self-esteem and face? Self-esteem and face are important and unimportant, sometimes they are luxuries, and they are also privileges that only some people can have, someone once said to me, 'The mark of an immature man is that he is willing to sacrifice himself heroically for the cause, and the mark of a mature man is that he is willing to live a humble life for the cause,' I don't know whether I am mature or immature, this is actually a paradox, I am deeply involved in it, and I can't extricate myself. ”

Chai Kejing listened to Feng Zhe's silence and asked, "Then have you figured it out now, what kind of self do you want to be?"

"I, I'm going to be the kind of: 'He has gone through all kinds of trials, he is a noble man, he is a pure man, he is a moral man, he is a man who is free from low tastes, he is a man who is useful to the people.'"

After listening to Feng Zhe's words as if he was ridiculing himself, Chai Kejing said, "Feng Zhe, your tone of voice is very similar to a person. ”

"Who?"

"My dad. I remember when I was a kid when my dad and my mom were arguing, he said the same thing you just said. ”

Feng Zhe was silent, he had already arrived outside the gate of the old town government, and asked, "Then what?"

"My mom said a lot of things, and one of them that I remember vividly was, 'Okay, okay, I'd rather lose with you than win with someone else.' ’”

Feng Zhe was silent again, and Chai Kejing asked, "You said so much, don't you want to know what I think?"

"And what do you think?"

"My mom and I think the same thing. (To be continued.) )