A preliminary study on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

(Monday, December 24, 2012)

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been an endless topic and a very sensitive issue, and it can be said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a traditional problem in interpersonal relations within the Chinese family.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, generally speaking, difficult to get along with, with subtle connotations.

Now, the phenomenon of the non-normalization of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also relatively serious, neither lukewarm, nor noisy, and indifferent is not bad.

is not normalized, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are tense, and even worse, water and fire are incompatible.

We often see on TV the current situation of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are not in harmony, and even quarrels, scolding, and even more serious fights.

There have been long-term antagonisms, contradictions, and frequent wars.

The reason for this incompatible relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is inseparable from the times, society, life, blood, and the quality and ideology of the parties themselves.

In the long feudal society, what was advocated was the monarch, the ministers, the father, the son, the wife to the husband, the son to the father, the younger to obey the elders, filial piety to the elders, the family ethical relationship in this era is unequal.

The in-laws can rule the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law must obey the command and discipline of the in-laws.

As for the new society, especially in recent years, with the equality of men and women, especially the improvement of women's status, it has fallen apart from feudal society.

The mother-in-law "degenerated", and the daughter-in-law prevailed.

Daughters-in-law discriminate against their in-laws, and even abuse the elderly, turning into little women oppressing old women!

This phenomenon has a lot to do with the current climate.

In the battle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the loser is often the in-laws.

This is one point of defeat of the social atmosphere, and the other point of defeat is the defeat of the son.

The son dotes on his wife, and from love to fear, this is the "strict wife" that spreads among the people.

The son is afraid of his wife, and the mother may feel sorry for the son, and willingly sacrifices his dignity for the sake of his son and loses to his daughter-in-law.

Or the son is afraid of his wife and does not dare to fight for his mother's pocket, so that his mother is defeated.

There is also a son who is not only afraid of his wife, but also gives all his love to his wife, puts his mother's nurturing grace in the back of his mind, favors his wife, "marries his daughter-in-law and forgets his mother", when there is a conflict between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no good fruit for his mother to eat.

There are several causes of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

There is no blood relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is formed by the extension of the parent-child relationship, and it has its particularity in family interpersonal relationships.

Because of this, this is inevitably a natural estrangement or intimateness factor, "people's hearts are separated from the belly", "the belly is separated by a mountain", this is the truth.

It is precisely because there is no blood relationship that they are wary of each other, and it is easy to have conflicts and disputes.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law compete for a man.

Because the son got married, a foreign woman came to the house, and this woman was intimate with the son.

The son gave his love to his wife, which led to a conflict with the mother.

Before there was no daughter-in-law, the relationship between mother and son was quite close, and the woman who came in wanted to fight for the son's love, the son's love for the mother was bound to weaken, and the mother was unwilling to let the son's love decrease, and she was inevitably jealous of the relationship between the son and the daughter-in-law.

And this daughter-in-law also wants her husband to give as much love as possible, and she can't wait to possess all her husband's love.

This phenomenon will inevitably lead to a competition between in-laws and daughters-in-law for this dual identity man.

Naturally, there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is difficult to reconcile.

There is a conflict of interest between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

People's lives are inseparable from firewood, rice, oil, salt, food, clothing, and many other expenses, which involves money and the economy.

Some elderly people have pensions or savings and can support themselves without having to support their children.

Some elderly people do not have this ability, they are old and decrepit, and they cannot earn money to make ends meet, so they are bound to have to be supported by their children.

There are also sons who "gnaw the old".

This is directly related to money, and money is not afraid of more, but afraid of less. However, how many people have a lot of money?

Supporting the elderly, you have to have money to bleed, which is related to the vital interests of your son and daughter-in-law.

The daughter-in-law was reluctant to support her parents-in-law and mother-in-law, so a conflict occurred, which led to the deterioration of the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. The "Say Peace" column on TV has exposed this situation a lot.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law each have their own qualities.

This is a very important factor.

Mother-in-law, generous, kind, loving juniors, daughter-in-law, kind, reasonable, filial piety to the elderly.

With such a quality of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is great hope for a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

As the saying goes: "If you are not afraid of no good things, you are afraid of no good people." ”

If the mother-in-law has no grace, is not kind, does not have a heart to love others, and is messing around, or if the daughter-in-law is not virtuous and has a bad heart, such a quality of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very prone to contradictions.

The power struggle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, and often have disagreements in the management and dominance of family affairs, and when there are contradictions, they all want to be the masters of the house, be the queen, have the final say, and fight openly and secretly.

There is a difference between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Between people, there are great differences in the concept of life, ways of doing things, living habits, personality and temperament, etc., mother-in-law and daughter-in-law come from two families, and there is a generation gap in age, these differences are easy to make conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even trivial things and words, which will cause irreparable contradictions.

There are contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the relationship is tense, which is very harmful and the consequences are unimaginable.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the whole family live under the same roof every day, even if they do not live together, because of this ethical link to maintain, it is impossible not to contact, long-term disharmony and tension, everyone will be miserable and unhappy, affecting physical and mental health.

Especially the man - a son to the mother-in-law, and a husband to the daughter-in-law, his life is even more difficult, he has become a "bean cake" and "double-sided tape".

For this man, his mother and wife, a mother who is the closest and has eaten a lot of hard for herself, and a wife who has recently loved her and wants to grow old. Which one to part, which to which one, it is not easy to do, and it is a dilemma.

If there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, this is a fire in the backyard, which will seriously destroy a family and affect the career.

Therefore, some people say that a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a malignant tumor that seriously affects the relationship and quality of marriage.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good and the evil results are abundant, so what can I do?

Is the daughter-in-law too much, divorced? The mother is too much, don't you want it?

The consequences of family separation are not without it.

There is a problem here: If a man is divorced, can he stop marrying his wife? If he marries another wife, will the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be good? What if it is not good? You can't leave one one day and marry one a day, right?

Don't mom, that's not good, after all, it's a benefactor who brought himself into the world and raised himself.

Speaking of which, what to do?

As the saying goes: "Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the whole family and harmony".

By the way, it is to make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law better and normalized.

This is very beneficial, the family and everything is prosperous, and harmony produces wealth.

Harmony is the only way to live a good life.

We should not underestimate the issue of normalizing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because it is not only a matter of happiness and misfortune for a family, but also a major issue of social stability and harmony.

Whether it is a mother-in-law, a daughter-in-law, a son or a husband, we must fully attach importance to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and we must all contribute to this harmony.

So, how can you normalize the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

Choose the object.

When a man marries a wife, he must choose a good candidate and find a good daughter-in-law who is sensible, scheming, and reasonable.

The quality of a person is more important than anything else, and choosing a woman with high quality as a wife will not bring pain and trouble to the family.

Improve your own quality.

As the mother-in-law of the son's mother, she must strengthen her self-cultivation, improve her own quality, be kind, generous, and self-respecting, so that she can hope to handle the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well.

As a husband's wife, the daughter-in-law must have high quality, and she should always do self-criticism, see how she is doing, carry forward the good and correct the bad, be upright, kind-hearted, lenient to others, and love the supreme. In this way, we can get along well with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the family can be harmonious.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law treat each other as relatives.

Although there is no blood relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must treat each other as relatives. As the saying goes, "If it's not a family, it's not a family." "When you enter the house, you are a family, and a family, that is, relatives, you have to have family affection, respect each other, love each other, and take care of each other.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be generous and tolerant.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be polite and tolerant, don't be careful, be generous and tolerant, the most important thing is to be tolerant and accommodating to each other, discuss things with everyone, don't be jealous, fight for power and profit.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should respect each other.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should respect each other's concepts, living habits, and attitudes, and both parties should recognize each other's independent personality and economic status, and both parties are equal, not a relationship in which one party must obey the domination and domination of the other party. Don't force the other party to turn to yourself, any deliberate transformation of the other party is a kind of harm to the other party, and it is also a kind of harm to yourself.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be generous and not stingy.

In this regard, especially the daughter-in-law of the junior, you must respect the elderly, support the elderly, don't be stingy, don't be reluctant to give up money, and don't force your husband not to honor her parents, and the daughter-in-law herself should also honor her parents-in-law and treat her husband's parents like her own biological parents, because her parents-in-law raised her husband, and if she didn't have her parents-in-law, she wouldn't have a husband who loved her.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should allow a man's love.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should not compete for the love of a man - the mother's son, the wife's husband. Don't be jealous in order to get the man's love, the mother-in-law should allow the son to love his wife, and the daughter-in-law should allow the husband to love the mother, so that the mother-son relationship and the husband and wife love can freely swim in the family space.

It is not a bad thing for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live separately.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live separately, which can avoid the high risk of long-term conflicts under the same roof as much as possible, and greatly reduce the chance of friction between each other.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law love each other.

If you want to have a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you must both dedicate sincere love, either single, or as the saying goes, "two good cut and one good", not "razor and hot", which is essentially equality and mutual love. It's just that one party is loving, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be good.

Men have to grasp the scale.

A man, whether a son or a husband, should love his mother and his wife, treat them equally, neither favor nor fear one of them, but speak of the other's benefits in front of his mother and wife, and persuade them to be intimate with each other.

Heart-to-heart talk is a good way to do it.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should often talk to each other, communicate and exchange with each other. In this way, there is no fear of different concepts, and there is no fear of contradictions, and through heart-to-heart talks, problems and contradictions can be solved, and people can live in harmony and intimacy.

If the above methods are achieved, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be good, and that is a strange thing.

Although there is a phenomenon of disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, of course, there is also a phenomenon of harmony, and there are still many people, this situation fully proves that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not an insurmountable gap, and it can turn hostility into friendship.

The world is harmonious and happy.

All in all, in short, everyone must recognize the importance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and treat each other with sincerity.

If everyone gives a little love, the world will become a better place!