"Derailment over the line" and "red apricot out of the wall"

(Saturday, December 22, 2012)

"Crossing the line and derailing", crossing the line, there is no explanation in the dictionary and Baidu, but Chinese characters are Huiyi characters, and we can see the meaning of the word, that is, it exceeds a certain limit.

Derailment is when trains, trams, etc. are off the tracks while driving, which is a metaphor for words and actions that are out of the norm.

"Red apricot out of the wall", the word comes from the Song Dynasty Ye Shaoweng's "It's Not Worth Visiting the Garden", "The garden is full of spring and can't be closed, and a branch of red apricot comes out of the wall".

Its original meaning means that no one can monopolize the beauty of the world, and it is a mockery and ridicule of a poor man to a rich man.

But now, it generally refers to a woman who has a physical or mental **** with someone other than her legal spouse.

Now, borrowing "crossing the line and cheating" refers to married men engaging in extramarital affairs, and borrowing "red apricots out of the wall" refers to women engaging in extramarital affairs.

Whether it is a man or a woman, engaging in extramarital affairs is beyond the scope of monogamy under the Marriage Law.

And now, the phenomenon of this extramarital affair seems to be getting more and more serious.

Is this right, should it be?

Since the civilization of mankind, there have been extramarital affairs in society.

In slave society and feudal society, it is not monogamy, but polygamy, rich and rich people and dignitaries can marry several or even a dozen wives, especially the supreme emperor, three palaces and six courts, seventy-two partial concubines and even three thousand beauties in the harem, for the emperor to play with, lewd pleasure.

From ancient times to the present, extramarital love has always existed and is endless, don't TV dramas often reflect this phenomenon?

Now, with the reform and opening up, some people have also reformed and opened up in terms of feelings, and it is really air and flies that appear together.

Some people even say that extramarital affairs are open.

On QQ, some men say this and do it, he asks you to be his extramarital lover, if you don't agree, he will say that you are conservative and not open.

Then, some people are outside of their spouses, thinking about what is wrong, wanting to have an extramarital affair, satisfying their desires, killing boredom and filling emptiness.

Some people feel that their spouse is unsatisfactory in some aspects, or they have been together for a long time, and they are tired of it, and they happen to meet one or even several favorite objects in real life, work or the online world, which just makes up for these shortcomings, so they cheat on the line, go out of the wall, and become more and more obsessed with each other, and finally can't extricate themselves, so they are separated from their spouses, and they don't consider the existence of their children or the influence of the outside world at all. Those who are not separated are also separated from their spouses, sharing different dreams in the same bed, and even being in the midst of war, suffering and trouble.

Some people are out of the corruption of their own moral character, playing with the opposite sex, arrogant and lascivious, like those corrupt people, in addition to holding money, which one is not a "Xiaomi"? Isn't this true of Lai Changqing, Cheng Kejie and others? The color of money is the inevitable manifestation of their corruption and degeneration.

So, is this kind of extramarital affair right or not?

We have no hesitation in saying that this kind of extramarital affair is wrong and should not be.

Marriage and love should be unified.

The "Marriage Law" of the new China is monogamous, which is to ensure the purity and single-mindedness of love, protect personal safety, and maintain social stability and harmony.

If we engage in extramarital affairs, it will inevitably lead to family conflicts, family disputes, affect the normal relationship and life of husband and wife, bring misfortune to children, affect work, and even cause some people to die because of this, which is not conducive to social stability and harmony.

The loss and misfortune caused by this extramarital affair is shocking.

Now, China has been reforming and opening up for more than 30 years, and the motherland has undergone earth-shaking changes, but in terms of love and marriage, we must not be so open, we must abide by the "Marriage Law", we must respect the feelings of both husband and wife, we must be pure and single-minded in terms of feelings, and we must not "mess" with love.

If the relationship between a man and a woman who are married is indeed broken and cannot be repaired, then they can be divorced, which is another matter, and there is an essential difference from extramarital love.

Now, since it is reform and opening up, but in terms of marriage and feelings, such and such indiscriminate love is a misunderstanding and distortion of reform and opening up.

Our law mainly considers the obligations and responsibilities of marriage, and the moral category, such as extramarital affairs and other social phenomena, cannot be simply explained by the viewpoint of legal and illegal.

The law does not encourage extramarital affairs, but it is also difficult to pursue legal responsibility for extramarital affairs.

From an ethical point of view, China's extramarital affair also has China's special national conditions.

Traditional ethics and morality are often subject to the impact of new ideas and concepts, so marriage is often subject to wind and rain.

From a philosophical point of view, the phenomenon of extramarital love must have its own internal cause and effect.

From the perspective of Chinese sociology, the emergence of extramarital love must have its social background.

After the reform and opening up, social tolerance has changed.

In the past, people saw extramarital affairs as a form of moral depravity, and if someone was found to be having an extramarital affair, the person could be ruined.

Nowadays, people's values have changed in diversity, and their views on extramarital affairs have also changed into ideas for specific analysis of specific issues.

At the same time, it has not been forgotten that the responsibility of marriage, especially the responsibility and obligation to raise children, is emphasized.

Therefore, as a special phenomenon in the development of society, extramarital love must conform to the law of social development.

Although the above is said, it does not allow and affirm extramarital affairs.

People live in the world, and what they do should have a scale, follow it, and reach the ideal height, which is neither low nor excessive.

In terms of feelings, it is neither "crossing the line" nor "going out of the wall", and this scale is the "line" and "wall", that is, the "moral norm".

Extramarital affairs are bound by moral norms.

Otherwise, if there is no scale and no constraints, it will be chaotic and confused.

For the development of history, social harmony, national stability, and family warmth, people should be single-minded in love, men cannot cross the line to cheat, and women cannot go out of the wall.