Yonghe Palace, gloomy clouds and miserable fog.

I don't know when Yinzhen will be able to return, and I don't know when Concubine De will take the position of the queen mother.

No minister opposed this incident, and Yinzhen's brothers did not seem to have participated in this matter, and everyone seemed to know the truth.

Actually, what do they know? It's just a joke. The royal "liveliness" is not small, it is in every dynasty and every generation, but there are very few who can make them look behind their backs so blatantly and smile secretly. I guess those who might have had after tea and dinner, wanted to laugh, but couldn't laugh.

Yinzhen only came back after the enthronement ceremony for a small half a day, and after a few mouthfuls of food, he returned to the Qianqing Palace to continue to keep filial piety. I happened to be in one place, and when I saw it, my heart was steady, and after a long time, I was afraid to see it. The mother and son leaned on the couch with their backs and didn't look at them, and the other knelt down in front of the collapse without saying a word.

Although it is rare to stagger the time, at least out of sight is clean, but this tossing is still endless. Occasionally go to the Qianqing Palace, you can't say much, take a look, whether it's safe or not, don't worry about leaving.

At the end of the year, Yinzhen was close to the capital, and after waiting for a few days, there was still no one, and even Peihan came less. Concubine De looked out every time, and then lay back on the pillow in disappointment.

Yinzhen didn't explain why he didn't see the fourteenth brother, and Yinxiang rarely saw each other, and just shook his head when he met by chance, without saying a word. This page, I don't know when I can turn it, this one, I don't know if it is recorded in the history books, I don't remember enough, I forget enough. Concubine De occasionally asked me a question, but I didn't know how to answer her, I didn't know how to comfort such a mother, and the newly widowed husband and the mother who was anxious for her son to return.

The line in the mother's hand, the wanderer's shirt...... Recently, I always read this sentence for no reason, and the next few sentences have become silent. Yin Zhending has also read it, I don't know how he feels about this poem, but he will be grateful for his kindness. The longer I stay here, the more I feel that memory is a portable outfit that should be adjusted in a timely manner, a wide range of worlds, and meaningless obsession, such as Yinzhen's unhappiness...... Maybe he'll always remember, I'm just guessing.

Because Kangxi's filial piety period has not passed, there is no excitement in the palace, but he also quietly began to prepare for the New Year, the first year of the new emperor, which is not a trivial matter. The attendants of Yonghe Palace did not dare to move, for fear of upsetting the master, and the palace maids and eunuchs saw me coming, and they were even more eager to find a place to hide.

Concubine De sat on the edge of the couch holding the rosary beads in her hand, closing her eyes and chanting. I knelt in the middle of the room, not making a sound, holding the bracelet on my wrist and following her thoughts.

With a long sigh, very soft, I put my hand on my forehead and nodded to the ground, and I listened to her sigh again, stood up with the thick blanket spread under my knees, poured a cup of tea and walked to the couch. After chatting a few words about the Buddhist scriptures that Fang just recited, they are nothing more than proverbs, those profound or superficial Zen meanings, which should be self-cultivation, have become the usual opening words of gossip among women.

"E-Niang is okay? My daughter-in-law saw that you were a little unhappy a few days ago, so she invited an imperial doctor to check your pulse. ”

"Don't get in the way, don't bother you."

Every sound is a sigh, like a grudge, more like a thought.

I still feel in my heart when I hear it, like a big stone pressed on my chest, and it is difficult to breathe smoothly, not to mention Yinzhen.

"How can you bother to say that your daughter-in-law should do it. It was also because I was sleepy a while ago and didn't eat a meal, so I asked the imperial doctor for diagnosis and treatment, and I only used two flavors of medicine to see that I was good, so I was specially invited to take the pulse of Eniang, and Eniang gave him a face to come in and take a look. If it's not good, let's just bomb him out again, and it won't take much time. ”

Concubine De turned her head to look at me, her eyes did not change, she shook her head and leaned back, and I hurriedly supported the pillow to cushion my back. When I closed my eyes, I heard a whisper, "Call in." ”

I hurriedly answered, pulled the brocade quilt on her and carefully covered it, and quietly walked to the door, beckoning the people waiting outside under the porch to enter the inner room. The cold of Layue was even worse, and after standing for about a pillar of incense, his hands were as cold as ice.

With two fingers hanging between my wrists, Concubine De opened her eyes suddenly, and I held my breath and didn't dare to make a sound.

The two looked at each other for a long time, but Concubine De's hand was not withdrawn, but she only stared at the person kneeling on the foot and sat up slowly.

Honghui moved his knees forward a little and held on carefully. After a while, he knelt down after his feet collapsed, and his forehead was knocked on the ground, and there was still a muffled sound through the thick soft blanket.

"Grandson Honghui invites Mama to ......"

"Honghui ......"

Concubine De spoke, and the room was quiet again, no one spoke, and she couldn't even hear the sound of breathing. She didn't look at me, but her hand reached out and pointed at it. I knelt behind Honghui and nodded yes, but she suddenly raised her eyes and looked over, full of doubts and tangled complex looks, even resentment, and her fingertips were shaking.

Honghui picked up the jade plate on his waist and raised his hands forward, Concubine De took it and stroked it for a long time, her eyes were wet, and tears dripped silently on the white jade plate, wetting the golden ears. Muttered to himself, "Honghui...... Forty-three years...... You...... No...... You...... Honghui? ”

Honghui nodded, I couldn't see the expression, I only heard a voice full of admiration, slightly hoarse, "Yes, Mama, my grandson is Honghui." He lowered his head, not knowing what he was pulling from his body, and after a while, his hand was held in front of Concubine De.

Lying in the palm of a purse, the red is light, and the dark pattern of the flower is more and more profound, such as the one of Yinzhen, although the color has changed, it is still treasured intact, and there is no wear and tear.

Concubine De raised her hand and stroked the corner of the purse, her nails trembling and picking up the opening, and the small golden characters hidden in it appeared in front of her eyes, like the carving of the white jade. With a shake of his fingers, he hooked Honghui's fingertips, and the hand holding the jade card trembled slightly and almost touched his face, very similar to Yinzhen's eyebrows.

I didn't know what Honghui said in her ear, but I heard a cry, depressed, released, sad, joyful, bringing together all kinds of indescribable feelings. Tears slid down his cheeks and went straight to the black and shiny braid on the back of Honghui's neck, glistening with water.

"Honghui, it's my grandson, it's Honghui, it's really you."

I wiped the corners of my eyes with a handkerchief, got up and walked to the door, only to lift the curtain and hear Concubine De call me to stay.

Asked Honghui to take a good pulse diagnosis and see how to regulate one or two, Concubine De looked at me and him in disbelief, but like an obedient and well-behaved child, Ren Honghui took the pulse. She sat quietly on the couch and listened to him say such and such things, nothing more than what the imperial doctor said, pay attention to rest and pay attention to meals, don't be anxious, listen quietly, no longer lose her temper and drive people out, and it is not as if Yinzhen turned his back and ignored him.

The grandfather and grandson sat on the couch and chatted for a while, and learned that Honghui had married a wife and had children, and Concubine De asked more carefully.

As the sky grew dark, the maid came in and lit the wax, and when she seemed to be happy, she carefully asked if she wanted to pass the meal. Concubine De waved her hand and asked her to go quickly, but she still remembered Honghui's childhood preferences, and specially ordered to add a few dishes. The palace maid waited for a long time, didn't ask much and didn't look around, just answered the word in a regular manner and hurried out.

Until dinner, I didn't see Yinzhen come to say hello. During the banquet, Concubine De was stunned for a while, watching Honghui didn't speak for a long time, only picked a chopsticks and put the thorns in his bowl like when she was young, and watched him put it in his mouth, chew and swallow, but he didn't eat much, but it was better than just sitting and reciting scriptures on weekdays, and the food did not move.

When Honghui left, he helped Concubine De, who wanted to get up, leaned back on the pillow, knelt on the edge of the couch and kowtowed uprightly. Concubine De asked him to bring his wife and children with him if he entered the palace next time.

I was left in Yonghe Palace, looking out the window in the dark, and hearing the sigh of Concubine De.

She complained, complained that her grandson was hidden out of the palace by us and became a wanderer who could not honor the front of the hall, and complained that no one told her that she had been hiding from the world for more than ten years. She is old and tired, and she loses her anger, just telling the old past, the tip of the iceberg.

I told her that Kangxi knew about it, and Yinzhen also knew it. Her eyes became hollow, and I didn't know where to look, maybe it was the end of her thoughts, there was a dead husband, a young son, maybe ...... There is also a lonely back guarding the Qianqing Palace.

"E-niang, the daughter-in-law doesn't dare to persuade her, she just hopes that E-niang wants to open some. If you are healthy, the blessing of your descendants and the blessing of the Qing Dynasty. ”

Concubine De didn't speak anymore, just leaned there to look at me, as if she was thinking about something, squinting her eyes looked very much like Yinzhen, or should I say, Yinzhen's expression when she was focused on looking at people, like her.

"Huang Ama went and handed over this country to the fourth master, it is love, faith, and a heavy responsibility. For the fourteenth brother, Huang Ama is also love, but also believes, believes that the fourteenth brother can guard the frontier, and believes that he can work with the fourth master to guard the foundation of the Qing Dynasty.

Honghui was raised outside, and his daughter-in-law's heart was painful, she was forced to do so, and she couldn't sleep all night. The decision back then may have been wrong, and to this day, who can conclude that he is not good like this? Fathers, mothers, give life to their children, teach them to sit and walk, and when they can run and jump, they can't stand it, they can only let go, believing that they can run well and run far, can jump well and jump high, and are safe, and there is nothing else to ask for.

Now that the fourteenth brother is back, the daughter-in-law has not seen it, and the daughter-in-law is also thinking about it, but it is just ...... The gentlemen have their own opinions, which are for the court and the Qing Dynasty. The emperor believes them, and we should believe them too. Eniang is thinking about the fourteenth brother, this pain is only a lot more than that of her daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law knows, and the fourth master also knows.

The fourteenth brother traveled a long way back to the capital, and the daughter-in-law knew about it. E-niang thinks about it day and night, bitter, and her daughter-in-law also knows. In front of Eniang, in front of the fourteenth brother, the daughter-in-law didn't dare to say that the fourth master was also bitter, but this was bitter, Eniang had a few points, he was a son, the fourteenth brother had a few points, he was the elder brother, and the mother and son were brothers and sisters were by no means empty words...... The fourth master works hard day and night, a small family, a big country, everything has to be taken care of. In front of people, he was the new emperor in power, all kinds of majesty, but what about the queen? He doesn't say that he doesn't complain, it's his duty to be a son and a brother, and it's his responsibility to be the son of heaven in charge of the world, but who knows him in the whole world, and who pities him for suffering. ”

"It's all bitter." With a faint sigh, he lingered in the house for a long time.

Between the light and darkness of the candle, she couldn't see the expression on her face clearly, only a thin palm was on the brocade quilt, and her fingertips were hidden in the small purse left by Honghui, as if rubbing.

Silence.

The corners of Concubine De's lips moved, and when she saw me kneeling in front of the collapse, she closed her eyes and turned in the direction of the window.

"E-niang." I tried to call out, and when I heard her answer very softly, I sat down on my knees and whispered. Talking about Kangxi taking me to see Honghui when he toured the south, talking about Honghui living in the western suburbs of the mountain courtyard after being picked up by Yinzhen back to Beijing, always remembering the common feelings of Huang Marfa and Mama's lovers, talking about Yinzhen coming to see off Honghui when he left, and Kangxi went to Honghui's small courtyard in the last year, the joy of his ancestors and grandchildren.

I had thought about whether Concubine De knew about me and Honghui, but I didn't ask anyone. At this point, tell her what you can say. Kangxi, his heart is too big, maybe for his women, he just wants to give them the best and most honorable life, no need to think about anything else, including their respective sons and daughters. Perhaps, this is the deep palace.

Concubine De lay there on her side, and also talked about her Zhen'er, who was extremely smart when she was a child, and knew best what she wanted and how to ask for it...... How well she knew this young boy. It's just that Yinzhen has already grown up and grown into a man who can also take responsibility for the country and stay away from his family business. What he did was what he asked, and I believe he was such a man.

I smiled and said, talking about marrying Yinzhen at the beginning of the year, and talking about the fourteen I saw at the beginning. At that time, he was only three years old, and his brothers were harmonious at that time.

Concubine De actually said that when she saw Kangxi at first, she laughed and cried. I don't know if she's stuck in too much memory, or if I'm in her dreams.

I listened to it for a long time, bit by bit.

At the beginning of the year, there was always Yinzhen, the eldest son who was conceived by her for ten months and gave birth to hard, in her mouth, he was not the fourth child or Yinzhen, and he was called my son. One day, the young baby she held in her arms day and night and was sent to another woman's palace, and her son, who brought earth-shaking changes to her life and status, became the fourth elder brother, which was out of reach.

She lay on her back in front of me, and stopped, stopped, and talked, occasionally looking at the carved beams on the roof, and occasionally closing her eyes and bending the corners of her lips. Those laughter are very rare, but tonight I saw a young palace maid standing in a corner of the palace with a soft smile, and occasionally saw a dragon's face...... One term of time, fighting and abandoning, more than 40 years, unfinished love.

Concubine De, who was favored back then, should be the queen mother today, sticking to it as it was back then, and letting go as it was back then. Those laughs and tears are left in the deep palace, locking the sun, moon and stars, washing the green silk, aging the face, and being powerless and frustrated.

Everything I talked about was quiet, with emotion, with color, as if I could personally feel it, about her, about Kangxi, about Yinzhen, about Yinzhen, and about their brothers and sisters who died young. Each one is in her heart, never forgotten.

The young Yinzhen mentioned by Kangxi back then, in her mouth and in my mind, overlapped every time. I thought she didn't know, but I didn't know, and it was her son who didn't know.

"Yinzhen has you, he comes to this Yonghe Palace every day, morning and evening, I can see it. Zhen'er doesn't know where he is, and he can't see his emperor Ama anymore when he comes back, and he can't see Eniang, I'm afraid he won't be able to see Peihan. Honghui was outside, and you always had to think more about it in your heart, thinking more about it, and if you couldn't let him go, it would hurt if you couldn't give anything. I am E-Niang, their emperor Ama gave this inheritance to one, I always have to do something for the other, you are also a human E-Niang, what do you say? ”

I don't think what she's doing is good or fair, but I can't say anything to refute it. When she hurts, I hurt too.

Life is like a play, but also like chess, when you fall, you are always firm, occasionally hesitating, and you don't know what to do. Towards the end, I finally found that I forgot the original intention, and even forgot the obsession at that time, why it started, where it came from, and where it was scattered, and I just blindly moved forward. I thought I had forgotten everything, but when I walked step by step to the time of the reveal, I thought about it carefully, only to find that I followed the traces and pushed it back, it was as clear as a picture, showing it one by one, but it was difficult to go back and start again.

There are some regrets that can never be made up.

Royal descendants, which one is not bitter, one life is lived, which one is not bitter. She hurt one, and she must hurt the other, but Yinzhen couldn't hear these words today. If you can listen to just a few words, you can let go of the past 40 years, and you don't have to be attached to self-suffering.