I don't know how long this will last.

Since Yinzhen woke up last time, he is still sleepy. I can't calculate how long he's slept and how many days have passed, so I can only try a little harder, try to persevere, and never make a difference. No matter for whom, no!

Time is no longer calculated by days, every minute and every second is fearful. Like the pendulum of a clock, the moment it ticks by, I am grounded in the moment, even if no one knows how I endured it during this time.

Fuli, as Li Fu said, is as usual.

Under the calm surface, it seems that everything is like the past, but I know that the past is long gone. On the night when Hongwan ran away from home, on the day when Yinzhen was unconscious, I had to be like a tough woman who was a housekeeper to firmly grasp this Prince Yong's mansion in my hands, both internally and externally.

Yinxiang has been helping to find the whereabouts of Hongwan everywhere, and he can't make a big show and can only be quiet, which is even more difficult, like looking for a needle in a haystack.

The palace had to go, and he had to give an explanation to Kangxi and Concubine De. Hongwan's matter is hidden in the bottom of his heart, but he has to report Yinzhen's illness to them. Kangxi sent a wave of imperial doctors, all of whom walked into the mansion with their heads down, and then shook their heads and lowered their heads to go back to pray.

Whether Li Fu secretly reported the matter of Hongwan to Kangxi, I don't know, and I can't take care of it anymore at this time. He doesn't ask, I don't say, it's as simple as that.

Prince Yong's mansion, which I was trying to guard, seemed to be lively again, and there was an endless stream of people coming and going on the day when the master was ill. Those brothers who rarely come and go around rarely hand over posts and medicinal materials to show their concern like a marquee, and I don't know how many of them are sincere, and a few of them are to pose as brothers, friends and brothers in front of Kangxi.

For outsiders, it is easy to say that it is not difficult to socialize, and the woman in the backyard is really worrying.

They were all his women!

His woman showed love for her man who was sick on the couch, and I couldn't stop him. Even if Yinzhen gives me the power to be in charge of the family, even if I am the fourth son of the emperor given by Kangxi, I can't do it at this moment.

It's just that this courtyard is missing a Gege's yard...... For the sake of that secret that I don't know if I can keep, I had to grit my teeth and send the sleeping Yinzhen back to my room. Gao Wuyong and Su Peisheng, even if Li Fu, I have to believe them at this time, and I can only trust them.

Yinxiang would come to visit Yinzhen every day, and by the way, he would inform him of the news he had discovered. From no progress to safe finding, my heart hung higher and higher.

She refused to come back, like a bird that had finally left her cage and flew high. has just spread his wings and seen the bright corner of the world, how can he be willing to return to the golden wire cage.

But I couldn't go to her, no matter what I wanted to. I can't go anywhere but this cage-like mansion, except for the palace gate that leads to the pinnacle of power.

Fortunately, I still have relatives, real relatives. Whether it's Yinxiang or Honghui, they will help me get through this difficulty.

Kangxi should know about Yinxiang's coming, but he didn't have any actions or instructions, and we won't care about him when the matter has come to this point, after all, there are priorities. I believe that in this mansion without Prince Yong, he will not care about my brother coming to help a woman suppress and cheer up, nor will he embarrass me.

Ruyi is that I often stay by Yinzhen's side to take care of him, and it is always impossible to leave him when he is fed medicine and washed on weekdays. She has been in the house for the longest time, even if she is a girl, I believe that those women will not embarrass her when they look at Yinzhen's face, even if he doesn't know when he will wake up.

I went less and less, maybe I was busy all day and just went to see it, knowing that he was still asleep and not leaving, it was peaceful. It seems that the hard work of this day is not in vain, there is always someone by your side and a direction to work towards. Although there are more women around him, there is no place for me to stand safely.

Hongwan is more and more like him Amma, every day he goes out early and returns late to walk in the court and the mansion, except for official business, most of the time is spent with Yinxiang looking for Hongwang...... His little wife is pregnant, and I have to be distracted to take care of it. This is my first grandson, and he is also Yinzhen's. Either way, don't go on a business trip.

The reason for going less is also related to those women.

He was so depressed that he didn't want to see anyone, and whenever he went to his room, there was always this or that woman by his side. They seem to have become sisters, although they rarely smile, but they are always harmonious. Even if he is still asleep, even if there is no sign of waking up, he is still on duty in turns, as if this can wake him up, or do more to do his best.

Hongli and Hongday followed the master every day, and after class, they went to Yinzhen's room to see Amma, and sat back in their room for a while, as if they had suddenly grown up and were sensible and no longer came to pester me to tell stories. Occasionally, I met a well-behaved person in the courtyard and said goodbye, and I didn't say much.

Such a house, how to have a smile. How can such a home support it through the cold winter and get better with the warmer spring breeze.

The most terrible thing is Nian's daughter, who is already weak and infected with the wind and cold in this winter that is about to pass, where can the small body withstand it. The medicine of the imperial doctor is always warm and nourishing, and even more so for this weak girl, she is afraid that she will not be replenished. But when will such healing be cured? Seeing that my body was getting worse day by day, Nian's love was getting lower and lower, and every time I sat on the edge of the bed with my child in my arms and cried silently, I couldn't even say words of comfort.

Her child doesn't live long, I know, how long will this child live? I do not know. It's just that at this time, in such a chaotic situation, I must not let her die under my control. Even if Yinzhen won't blame me, even if I'm not afraid that the Nian family will dislike me a little more, I can't add to the blockage of the Nian family. I understand the reasoning.

My heart was full of grievances, and I had no way to say or have nowhere to complain. looked at Yinzhen, who had never opened his eyes on the bed, and the pain was even worse, and his heart seemed to be missing, from a faint pain to a real heart-digging lung.

I looked at the various women sitting in the room with my head against the door, all dressed in light dresses, and turned into white in my dizzy vision, a cold white, which made the bloodless men on the bed even more illusory and ethereal.

The huge tiger skin in the hall lay on the ground, and the black crystal embedded in the eyes shone with a deep light, as if it had discovered my storage and stared intently. It was like a beast guarding the sleeping master in the room, as if I was a woman who couldn't get in, and I wasn't allowed to go near half a minute. At the slightest movement, I'll pounce.

I didn't dare to think about it anymore, but in my ears I seemed to hear the sound of suona that once echoed over the small courtyard, whining farther and farther.

How many years ago did I remember it so clearly. I thought that many things had been forgotten during this time, and it turned out that I was just untouched. Once remembered, it surged back and couldn't dodge.

It was white everywhere, even in the heat of June, and the drizzle was better than the goose feathers and snow today.

Isn't it spring?

It seems that it was already warm a few days ago, the ice in the pond in the yard began to thaw and thaw, and the chirping birds flew more lightly, so how could it snow again?

Honghui was fine, but Amma, who was sad and crying for him, was not good at all, lying there as if he had no attachment, and he no longer opened his eyes to look at me.

Holding on to the door frame, he turned around and walked, barely standing firm under the support of Meiyu and not falling into the snow. Asked Gao Wuyong, who looked frightened, to take care of it carefully, and walked to the middle of the empty courtyard to look up at the sky.

"Fu Jin, don't look at it, it's not good for your eyes to look like this. Go back to the house and rest, maybe you can sleep, and the fourth master will wake up. ”

Mei's voice is still gentle like water, and it has never changed for so many years, both for me and for the children. Now that it rings in my ears, it sounds far away.

Pieces of snow fell in the palm of the hand, fluttering in the sky and dyeing the entire palace white, and there was not a trace of bright color in sight, and even the red pillars seemed to have turned into endless white.

I don't know what it's like outside, maybe it's another sunny day.

Yinzhen, wake up, right? Something makes you so stubborn that you go to sleep. You don't want so many people in this family? Bang'er hasn't come back yet, aren't you worried about her so much? Hongwan's child hasn't been born yet, don't you want to know what he will be like? Your women, your children, are worried about you, they can't eat or sleep just like me, how can you let them go? Leave it all to me, can you rest assured? If you're gone, I won't be nice to them, I won't!

How can you be so cruel to me...... I'm tired, scared, really...... I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on.

Leaning against the window and looking at the sky outside, the once blue turned white, as white as snow. It was as if the clouds were piling up all over the sky and constantly lowering, so that I could barely breathe. In an instant, it turned from white to black. There was no hope in the dark, so dark that there was no light, like the black waves of the night constantly coming towards me, rolling and choking my throat and unable to breathe.

I heard Mei Fu calling me and explaining, but I couldn't answer them. The eyelids became heavier and heavier, so heavy that I could no longer see the scenery outside the window that I once longed for, and as my heart continued to sink into the darkness, I didn't know where to go or where I could go.

Perhaps, if you plunge into it, you don't have to worry about it, and you don't have to be afraid of the unknown tomorrow.

Later, it was replaced by another person, a man. Again and again, and without stopping.

Who knows my name?

I have lived in this era for more than 20 years, and I am too familiar with it, just like the princes and noblewomen here are familiar with me, and they have long been inseparable. Am I not Siyue? My surname is Wulanara, and I am the grandson of Aixin Jueluo Yinzhen, why did I change back to showing my smile?

That person isn't a brother, I know. Who would call me that?

I haven't heard that affectionate whisper in a long time. I'm only afraid of delusions.

I forced myself to open my eyes, and the light stabbed me so much that I almost burst into tears, and at this moment when I couldn't count how long I hadn't cried, the infinite black was gone. I closed my eyes uncomfortably and touched the softness and silkiness under my hands, which was actually on the bed.

Dream it...... If it's a sweet dream, don't wake up, and you can't wake up.

I'm just a woman, not as strong and independent as everyone thinks. How many years will it take to go back, and how many people will laugh at me and say that I am too strong, but I still know exactly what I am like.

Being strong is the most unchosen choice in this world.

Only you know your own life, and whoever is in pain understands it. When the pain is so bad that you can't pretend to be happy anymore, you may even lose your direction. The one who laughs the most in front of people may be the one who weeps alone and cries until they are silent.

Is it bitter? If you wake up, maybe it will be different.

"Smile."

I hear this sound so well!

Grasp the brocade quilt under your hand, and the palms of your hands seem to be carved out of the lines by the soft embroidery threads on it. I closed my eyes and didn't dare to face it.

Xu has been afraid for a long time, and the people and things that can make me feel at ease have become no longer real. Even if I do believe in it at the moment, I am still afraid, afraid that as soon as I open my eyes, he will disappear, or lie back on that bed, lifeless.

I don't know how many tears I have endured for a long time, and finally they come back to my eyes, sliding down my cheeks, and my heart is throbbing with coldness.

The same cold hand stopped at the corner of my eye, incredibly soft and trembling.

Even with those hands closed, I could tell their owners, and even the breath that couldn't have been lighter could not be mistaken for it. As long as he is there, even in the harsh winter, it will always make me feel unusually warm.

He's here, and he's finally back with me.