At the end of the 49th year of Kangxi, the wax moon was still full of snow.

The plum blossoms in the courtyard bloom season after season white, and they are particularly delicate on this winter day. Clusters of rose-red and bright pink, hidden under the snow of the pressed branches, like the faint fragrance that drifts with the wind, cannot be hidden.

Xiaoyan gave birth to a child for Yinxiang, the second child of the two of them, a boy. Kangxi, as before, gave the little baby a name - Hongjun.

Yinzhen accompanied me and Yinxiang to guard the door, nervous as if I was the one who was guilty inside.

Yinxiang and I watched him hold Hongjun in his arms and put a longevity lock around his neck. The fingertips carefully caressed his delicate little face, and there was the tenderness in his eyes when he looked at Honghui, as well as the vague reluctance to be attached.

It's just that a prince who doesn't have a title has another child, and that's it. But we all know in our hearts that his birth was a sign of the coming separation. His cry is not only for his own birth, but also for the wounds that we hide in the bottom of our hearts.

On Chinese New Year's Eve, Yin Xiang accompanied the confinement of Xiaoyan's mother and son to stay in his mansion. Concubine De's Yonghe Palace is a little deserted. After the child, the Hongwan sisters and brothers and the Hongming Hongyun brothers lay down in a row and slept on the soft couch, no longer laughing. Occasionally, I could hear the soft whispers of Pei Han and Concubine De, and Yinzhen, like me and Yinzhen, sat next to him with his head bowed, holding a teacup and sipping silently.

The woman and the children had been away from the palace for two months, and finally returned to their palace after the palace banquet. At this time, are they sitting around the house, or silent, or laughing and chatting, waiting for their man?

In the years that followed, I wasn't sure how long it would be, but I was sure that they wouldn't go here or there, what they could or couldn't do under my arrangement, because they just had to listen to Yinzhen.

I, the former fourth son of the emperor, Fujin, will become their memory that will never return, or be forgotten by them from the bottom of their hearts.

The palace where I lived for 11 years and spent so much thought on is no longer in my hands. Perhaps, the next woman will take over my job. Yes, work, just treat it as work. I, just retired early.

No pay, no job stay?

Or, will Kangxi arrange another concubine Fujin to give her the surname of Wulanala and accompany Yinzhen to replace me?

In the quiet Yonghe Palace, Concubine De and Pei Han patted the children's sleeping backs and looked at them lovingly. Only the chiming clock on the table next to the couch ticks. I watched as the minutes ticked by, and the hands gradually recombined into a shadow from different directions, and then continued to slowly turn and separate with time.

Yinzhen, between us, is it like this clock. No matter how much I love you, I am still two people, even if I travel through three hundred years of time and space and gather here with you, I still have to face separation. Unless it can be like the hour and minute hands, overlapping each minute, overlapping this life.

A familiar shrill male voice broke the silence at the door.

I thought that as long as I waited for separation, it turned out that it would not work.

The sweet joy we shared in our private collection, I can't bear to be entangled, in this huge capital, under the strict control of Kangxi, all exposed to the cold air, under the light moonlight.

I knelt behind Yinzhen's side, not far from the table Kangxi sat in the chair, separated by a golden satin, the dragon pattern was as clear as yesterday. Next to us, stood Imperial Doctor Su with his head down.

I don't remember what Kangxi said just now, only the strong medicinal fragrance kept inhaling into the nose, and Yinzhen's eyes were wrapped around my brain. distressed, reluctant, frustrated or remorseful......

The medicine bowl in my hand blurred my vision, this is the beginning of my future life, and it has already kicked off before I have even set foot in the capital. Predestined, a qiē is predestined. I can't have any more children with Yinzhen, even if I want to take them away secretly and give birth to them secretly, I won't be allowed to do it, let alone recognize it.

It's just that he is a child who will not be stored in history, so why bother to make everyone embarrassed.

Tears fell in the bowl, splashing a circle of brown ripples, as if a little bitterness had been reduced. I put it to my lips, endured the reluctance in my heart, and raised my head......

Syllable!

A faint bitterness was still hanging on his lips, the medicine bowl had fallen to his knees, the brown juice splashed all over his body, wet the shiny floor tiles, evaporated into water vapor by the warmth of the earth dragon, and the fragrance of medicine immediately overflowed the hall.

"Spit it out!" Yin Zhen knelt in front of me, pulled the handkerchief on my clothes, wiped the residual juice from the corners of my mouth, the movements were soft but contradictory eager, and the habitual frowning brows trembled slightly at this time.

I looked at Kangxi in the upper seat in horror, propped my hands on the table, frowned at us, didn't say a word, just raised my hand to signal to Li Dequan.

He wants to resist the decree? Yinzhen, who has always followed all of Kangxi's wills the most, tried his best to run for Kangxi...... Don't say that your emperor Ama is iron-hearted today, even if you can discuss, I can't harm you like this.

Shaking his head helplessly, the fingers pinching my face seemed to freeze. Yin Zhen stared at me with straight eyes, shaking his head almost invisibly, until I awkwardly swallowed a small mouthful of medicine in my mouth and closed my eyes tightly. When he opened his eyes, he stopped looking at me, turned around and bowed down to Kangxi, "Huang Ama, the son is not filial......"

Before he finished his words, Kangxi had already whispered, "Fourth, I don't want to listen to your words a second time." My decision will not change, and if you persist, I will not just give you a bowl of soup. ”

Li Dequan took a new medicine bowl and handed it to me as he did just now. Yin Zhen stared at the steaming potion inside, the fire hidden in his eyes almost burned, and he clenched his fists and stuck them to his legs. I could feel the robe shaking over him.

I don't know what he said to Kangxi, which made Kangxi so angry that he had to get rid of the child in my womb. Even if Kangxi refuses to recognize him as his dragon grandson, at least ...... It's still Yinzhen's blood and bones.

I know that I can't hide anymore at this time, and I don't want to hide. After taking the medicine bowl, he leaned into the corner of his mouth, and heard Kangxi say in a low voice: "I have lost one son, and I can't let you destroy another." If you drink this potion, you will be able to go back with him. On the first day of next month, let's go. ”

Speechless, I nodded tearfully and drank it all.

The golden dragon pattern on the table was illusory, and the five-clawed dragon on Yinzhen's body began to open its teeth and dance its claws, entangled and hovered above my head.

I hate this palace.

Here, Kangxi can know the warmth and coldness of the world, so that his people can live in peace and away from the dire situation. Here, a talented person can be recognized and dedicate his life to the peace and prosperity of his life. Here, you can add an official to a knighthood, so that his children and grandchildren will always enjoy honor. However, it brought me only a fate that I was powerless to fight......

Kangxi 50 years, that's all? Before I could smell the warmth of early spring, I already tasted bitterness with a hint of sweetness. How long will this pain last? How much longer can I last?

If I could, I would like to leave now.

Yinxiang came to see me once, sat on the stool next to the bed, and looked at me quietly, not even hearing a sigh. Yinzhen stood behind him and looked out the window at the green shoots. When everything is recovering, the child I didn't have the chance to meet is gone. The only child I can take away, to pamper and miss Yinzhen.

I never stepped out of my room again, and every day I lay on the bed looking at the crimson curtain above my head, and caressed my flat lower abdomen through the thick brocade quilt, and I couldn't cry. The women who greeted them still stood outside the door every day, as respectful as ever. I couldn't see their faces, I couldn't even hear their voices, day after day.

At night, Yinzhen always hugged me and refused to let go, whispering sorry in my ear over and over again. Wet tears fell on the back of my neck, flowed into the placket of my clothes and dripped into my heart, but I turned my back to him and did not dare to face it again.

Who is sorry for whom?

If I hadn't come here, nothing would have happened. If there is no trick of fate, I am still the free and happy smile of modern times, I don't know that the love in the world is carefree, he is still the noble and arrogant Prince Yong, with his wife and concubines and children around his knees.

We're meant to be.

Kangxi went out again, took Yinzhen with him, and went to Tongzhou to inspect the river embankment. The only New Year's month in which we could stay together again became short with his day and night, and long after he left.

I counted the days, wondering if he would be back before the first day of February, or if we would see each other for the last time.

The day before he left, on the night of the Lantern Festival, which was supposed to be a reunion, I was sent to Yinxiang's mansion, and he personally delivered it to my brother, as well as the baggage I hid at the bottom of the box.

We sat around the table and looked at the maps I sketched little by little when I was bored in my early years.

How big is the world? A piece of paper can trace her outline, but not the landscape. The pictures are carefully marked with memories of my past life, every country I yearn for, and every beautiful and magical picture that I want to see with my own eyes. Also, an obvious name: Aixin Jueluo Yinzhen, which was clearly written by me on the magnificent rivers and mountains of the Qing Dynasty.

At this moment, I really don't want to go anywhere, I just want to stay in this land, but I can't ask for it.

Yinzhen promised me that he could take Honghui with him, as well as Su Changqing's family. As long as I keep my promise, live well, and come back.

I looked at him, relatively speechless.

There is always something unstoppable in life. For example, the dawn that wants to be lit up, such as the dusk that wants to be darkened, such as the encounter of fate, such as the parting of foresight.

I sat on the beam of the room wearing a thick winter coat and a soft and warm black cloak of Yinzhen, with my dear brother on one side and my beloved man on the other, looking at the familiar capital under the stars.

Prosperous in the depths of the market, a series of lanterns are strung together into the hustle and bustle of the Lantern Festival, but you can no longer find the happy figures who once lingered in the meantime.

Yinxiang took out a cigarette pouch and put it to his mouth, I squinted at it, and couldn't help but shake my head and laugh. For many years, I thought he wouldn't smoke anymore, but when he was about to leave, he would regain his old music.

"Smoke it, I'll enter Ji Xiaolan's mansion as if I was myself." took the fire fold in his hand, and under Yinzhen's strange gaze, he carefully bent over to help him light it.

Yinxiang took a puff, shook his head and smiled, and pulled out a slender cigarette from the tobacco bag, like a modern one. I stretched out my hand to take it, touched it gently, and under the smoke drifting away with the wind, I dimly saw Yinzhen's name written in vertical rows in Manchu on the white paper.

I carefully pinched and looked at the man next to me, who looked up at me as he looked at the cigarette with his name written on it in my hand.

Put the cigarette to your mouth, put it on Yinxiang's red cigarette pouch pot, inhale deeply, and light it.

The red flames gradually turned to light black gray, and the string of names burned inch by inch.

I leaned on Yinzhen's shoulder, let the heavy choke smoke my eyes, and whispered softly.

Write your name on a cigarette and inhale it into your lungs

Keep you at the closest distance to my heart

Never worry about losing contact with you again

We want to be together for the rest of our lives

Write your name on a cigarette and inhale it into your lungs

Let you stay at the closest distance to my heart

Even if you will lose contact with me in the next life

But I'll remember you

But I can still find you