"...... I didn't want to scream, and it shouldn't be this sound that came out of my mouth."

That name, those two words, has been calling in my heart for many years, and it has never stopped in my waking or dreaming.

Tonight, I still didn't dare to call out, even if I thought about it, I could only call him like those women, like begging.

I thought I was ruthless and would never think of that woman again, but at this moment, my mind was full of her.

Everywhere and in every corner of this mansion, I used to be like a wandering soul without zài, watching her walk beside him, and every time I called him, it was natural and real. And he always looked back at her with the kind of eyes that made me intoxicated and heartbroken, and responded to her, just like Kangxi in 42 years, when I followed my second brother to the first time I entered the Baylor Mansion, the first time I saw him, and her.

No, those are the past, not the past I want to look back at. Just look at the present, only think about the present. No matter who this man was or who he stayed with, tonight is mine, and I am alone.

Tighten his arms around his waist, and put his face against his cheeks and neck, it turns out that he can also be warm like this, not as cold as he usually sees. As I moved, my body rubbed against him, rubbing against his still tense arm, and clinging even closer.

I don't know how long I can last, this intimacy is not what I want, and even if I snuggle up to him so truly, it is just my wishful begging. And he'll have pity on me, or ...... Want me.

I was too late to react to the pain in my lower back, and I fell back on my back, and my back hurt through the soft bedboard. I think I could have given up, and I should have given up, on the same day that I got what I wanted. During the day, I still waited with shame and joy, and the day did not pass, and at night, I was desperate and admitted that I had finally lost the bet. Like the candle that was lit for me tonight, it is not yet ember, it is extinguished, because it is going to be extinguished.

In that case, why bother to give me hope, and why torture yourself.

Like him, he closed his eyes, no longer opened, did not see, did not listen, did not think. Say to yourself, sleep, don't wake up, this festive day will never pass.

Faster than my despair, it was cold and painful.

It is cold to the heart and lungs, and it hurts into the bone marrow.

The belly pocket was still tightly wrapped around me, covering my atrium that had been beating and stopping for him, but my legs were exposed to the air, in front of him, under him.

There are no words, no notice, there is, just his actions. It was so fast that I didn't know how it happened, my legs had been pushed apart, and I could clearly hear the crisp sound of bones between the legs that had been forcefully separated.

I always thought he was a humble gentleman, and even if he was on top, he would not use brute force against his own women like those men in the market. It turned out that I was wrong.

It was the first time his hand had touched me, but there was no tender pity. It penetrated quickly and ruthlessly, and it hurt so much that I clenched the mattress under me, and the fine brocade slid through my fingertips with a breaking tearing sound, and my screams.

As I bit my lower lip, tears poured out of my closed eyes and slid down my cheeks.

The fear in my heart was mixed with irrepressible shyness, and the subconsciously closed legs actually clamped his palms on his equally bare legs, which was as tight as the unbearable pain in my body, and I couldn't help but be stunned. This movement hurt so much that I almost shouted again. Biting his lip hard, he already tasted blood.

He heard me. My voice, though quickly stopped by itself, still echoed in my ears, buzzing. I'm afraid that such a heart-rending shout can be heard clearly by everyone in the courtyard in this silent night, and even farther away.

But he didn't stop, not even the slightest pause to look at me. The beautiful and clean slender ten fingers, often gently supporting the hands behind her waist, grabbed my thighs and pushed them out again, the thin calluses in the palms scraped through my trembling and clucked at the side of my waist, almost pinching my bones into the flesh, and constantly rushing at me.

That's what I want?

With my eyes wide open, ignoring the tears that flowed, I tried to stare at his body that kept pushing towards me, and I remembered what the grandmother in the palace said when she taught us how to serve the masters. At that time, we were so ashamed that we couldn't raise our heads, but we also clearly remembered that we couldn't resist them, as long as they wanted it, we had to give it, and whatever they wanted, we had to give it without reservation.

But...... In addition to the pain, it still hurts.

There is no warmth and thoughtfulness as I thought, nor is there the lingering affection I imagined, and there is no caressing and affection that I expected. Yes, it just hurts, boundless pain, screaming everywhere in the body, it hurts.

I felt like a torn satin underneath me, no one cared about, and no one cared about, as if it were really just a fitting ornament, for the owner to enjoy at will, without pity, on what should have been a festive and shy night.

Yes, master.

In his eyes, I have changed my identity at this moment, but I am afraid that I am not as good as the little sister who once lived. At that time, at least he was still polite, and occasionally gently pulled the corners of his mouth at me in front of his second brother, as if he was laughing. At least not as it is now, completely ignoring my feelings. It's just that I don't know if he will feel happy when he enjoys it this time.

Yinzhen, your heart, whether it is also like this, the body is not a little soft.

Obviously, my whole body hurts to the point of stiffness, as if it will dissipate at any time, and tears keep flowing, but my heart is still happy. Finally, I became his woman, whether it was my identity or body, from this moment on, I left his mark and belonged to him.

Trembling fingertips groped his arms, shoulders, and chest, just like Fang Cai, it was still the white undershirt that was clear in the dark night, neat.

I gently picked the strap and touched him truly, my warm chest open for me. I was still in pain, but I also followed his body and rhythm, returned to my original body temperature, and became hotter and hotter.

didn't stop it, and didn't respond, this man I have been waiting for for many years, looking forward to it for many years, and being in love for many years, is still the same as me. The palm of the hand that was around my waist tightened, pressing my body hard under him, so that I could not retreat.

Why would I give back?

Yinzhen, as long as you want, I will give it to you, leaving no penny! As long as you are happy.

Endure the pain under him, arch his waist cooperatively, grab his shoulders and sit up slightly, close to him, to alleviate the soreness in his lower back that gradually replaced the pain under him.

We were closer, and even though he wasn't looking at me, I couldn't take my eyes off his eyes. The good-looking man who used to be cold and clean, with a beard, after she left. He seems even more unapproachable, but I have been longing to be close to him, no distance. At this point, there was really no distance between us, and no one could stop us, whether it was her or anyone.

Is this feeling of pain and joy the so-called you have me, I have you?

After years of waiting, I finally got a taste of this. Under him, entangled, painful to the extreme, and at the same time full of joy to see himself clearly, there was only one him in his eyes, laughing with tears.

The pain turned into a different feeling, like taking root and sprouting in my body, waiting for the seasons to change the moisture of sunshine and rain, and eager to blossom and bear fruit. This strange longing is indistinguishable, but it makes me no longer feel sorry for myself, I just want to be close to him like this, and get close to him again.

Fingers hooked at the back of his neck and gently stroked him, wrapping around his smooth back as his body struggled to get closer. A thin layer of sweat stained my palms and clung to his back.

Man, really different from me,

He kept his eyes closed and didn't look at me, just grabbed my waist and abdomen and kept pushing me away, making me lie on my back in the position he needed, and kept hitting my body that I wanted to fit more and more. I heard a voice different from the exclamation I had just screamed, and I couldn't tell the words that just kept spilling out of my lips, or being eager and short, or whispering softly. This kind of □□ that never came out of my mouth made me so ashamed that my cheeks burned from the roots of my ears, and even my whole body was so hot that I couldn't bear it, but I still tried to meet his brute force demand. I don't know if he can hear it, if he can feel it.

Sweat kept dripping down his forehead and chin, dripping on my face and collarbone, silently sliding into my belly pocket, rolling down to my chest, igniting my heartbeat, and growing more and more furious, as if I was about to rush out of my throat at any moment to show him clearly.

I don't know at this time, he pursed the corners of his mouth and was expressionless, but he would still think of that woman in his heart, while being so close to me. Miss her at this time...... Isn't it ironic? I smiled coldly in my heart, but I thought about myself, his heart, would beat violently because of me, just like me.

My face was pressed against his chest, and my tears and his sweat kept dripping, mixing and penetrating my belly pocket, wetting my body, and also wetting my hand-embroidered Dilian.

Quietly pulled the ties on the back of his neck and waist, and with his movements, with the constant friction of our bodies, finally, there was no longer any barrier, and it fit tightly. From then on, I was his woman, a woman who loved Xinjueluo Yinzhen. And he is my man, the man who embroidered the year.

Fingers grip behind me, clasp my waist and hips in the palm of my hand, and raise it harder to connect with him more closely. My softness rubbed against his hard, warm and sweaty chest as he squeezed faster and faster and closer to brute force.

"Yinzhen. I buried my face in his chest and whispered, my lips pressed to the sweaty heart, hoping that he would feel my affection for him, even the slightest.

The fullness of the body was suddenly fixed, and the back hurt as if it was about to break. It's like pinching the nails on the side of my waist, and I can't help but grab his back as well, and I can feel the nails sink into the flesh in an instant.

Hearing his extremely soft snort, ignoring the pain in his waist, he tried to listen carefully to his chest, but he couldn't find the sound of his heartbeat, just like his body, and stopped suddenly. Looking up at him, his eyes were open and looking at me precisely, but the light flickering in them did not settle on my face, and I wondered what he was thinking.

Carefully retracting my hand over my chest and pressing it against his face, I could feel my heart beating wildly. The eyes that stared at him slowly approached, and the beautiful lips that had kissed her were still tightly pursed, but they seemed to keep calling me, making me uncontrollably closer.

It was almost kissed, close enough to feel his snort, tangled with mine.

For the first time, it was so close that it was unimaginable, and it could only be fulfilled in a dream. With his eyes closed, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck, his fingertips touching his braid, and holding it gently.

"Yinzhen ......"

The body fell backwards suddenly, the pain in his back had just spread to his limbs, and his body had been pressed by gravity. I opened my eyes in a panic and saw the face close at hand, and my eyes were so cold that there was no temperature.

As if there was something dirty on me, he stopped looking at me, pulled the braids from my hands, and quickly got up.

The stagnant heat in my body disappeared in an instant, and I lay on my back weakly as if I had been gouged out, watching him roll over from me and get off the ground, grabbing the clothes and pants scattered on the bed and quickly putting them on.

When he bent down to pick up the red wedding robe that had been thrown on my bedside, he stopped and looked at the clothes in his hand, and the voice reached my ears, as cold as when he had just entered the door, or even colder.

"Didn't anyone teach you the rules? ”

It was the longest sentence he ever said to me tonight.

After saying that, he threw the big red piece that symbolized festivity back to the ground and turned to leave.