Chen Anping
Chen Anping
1
"Little traitor!" has always been a shame for Chen Anping.
Chen Anping has always carried this name. Communicate between students and teachers.
His high school entrance examination score was a little worse, but he was still admitted to Dexian No. 1 Middle School.
The name of the little traitor came from the first year of junior high school. Yang Chang personally gave it to Chen Anping, and Chen Anping was a little unhappy.
Chen Anping especially likes Zhang Jingqing, the former class flower.
Every day, Chen Anping will come up with several ways to coax Zhang Jingqing. No matter how good Chen Anping is to Zhang Jingqing, Chen Anping's love still ended without a problem.
2
Chen Anping suddenly thought of Zhou Yu, who had always been good to him.
One day, the weather was clear and the wind was beautiful, Chen Ping'an sent something to Zhou Yu and asked her to hand it over to Zhang Jingqing.
Zhang Jingqing wondered, he was not in the same class anymore, and he came to pester Zhang Jingqing.
One day, Zhang Jingqing stopped Chen Anping and said: "Little traitor, seeing that you are so good to me, I will introduce you to a girlfriend!"
"Good!" Chen Anping's eyes lit up.
Chen Anping didn't graduate later, so he went to work outside. But he is still very good with the girlfriend introduced by Zhang Jingqing.
In a blink of an eye, Chen Anping also got married, and his wife was the boyfriend introduced by Zhang Jingqing.
The fate of other people
Regarding Zhang Jingqing and Yang Chang, they did not end up together. Speaking of them, there is still a piece of history, which will not be detailed.
Huang Yuping later knew everything, and in the end Xiao Mi was protected by Yang Chang, and Yang Chang did not allow Huang Yuping to bully Xiao Mi.
In this way, many people have results. Everyone hopes that everyone will be safe, happy, and happy.
Later, many class reunions were held, and later, many people had children.
(Here are a few jokes)
1. Accompany my wife to the mall and want to buy clothes, but I don't want to, but there is no way, my wife tried one: "How about it?"
In order to dispel her desire to buy: "It's not pretty!"
The wife silently took off her clothes and took another one: "What about this one?"
"It's still not pretty!"
The wife took it off again, continued to try on the clothes, and asked......
"Wife, I've tried so much, I think it's better to forget it. β
Wife: "No! I'll see how long you can last!"
"Why?"
Wife: "You have to hold on as long as you want now, you have to hold on at night." β
"Wife, hurry up, take this one, I'll pay!"
2. Colleagues have been talking to themselves. Brother: What's wrong?
Colleague: Nima, you tricked me to death.
Brother: What's going on?
Colleague: You told me that if the woman wants to ask you something, you must exaggerate. I exaggerated and said, ah, and before I finished speaking, the woman ran away.
Brother: What did she ask you, what did you say?
Colleague: After the meeting, the woman asked me, people say that I have a big face, what do you think? I thought about it, exaggerated, so I said, big, people are baked cake faces, you can definitely call it a basin......
Brother: Nima, get out of ......
3. The two women are chatting. Elderly: Auntie, I used to farm and didn't have much education, but now that I'm older, I can't plant the land anymore, so I can only rely on my body to eat.
Young Woman: Huh?
Auntie: This relies on the body to eat, but it is a technical job, and you have to be able to use various postures.
Young Woman: Ah!
Auntie: What are you old?
Young woman: Auntie, I can't imagine that you can do this at such an age as I am?
Auntie: If you don't do this, who will feed me?
Young woman: What kind of man wants to be so old?
Auntie: Young, driving a luxury car.
Young Woman: How is that possible? They're going to want you like this?
Aunt: I'll lie down in front of the car, I can't do it if I don't want to!
Young Woman: I'll go...@εΎδΊε¦ι£
4. The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, and I went to my mother-in-law's house in advance to deliver moon cakes.
Mother-in-law: "Why do you send three boxes this year?"
Me: "The year before last you sent you too big, said I don't pay attention to it, at first glance it is a rough person; last year you sent you too small, scolded me for picking the rope of the little family; this year I sent three boxes, large, medium and small, you see which one is suitable to keep which!"
Mother-in-law: "Don't look at it, three boxes are quite suitable!"
Me: "Ahγγγγγγ "@θε±±ζΊͺζ°΄
5. Go to the hotel.
Called a young lady.
It cost a thousand, but the young lady really doesn't look good.
I asked the manager: What's the matter, it turns out that this kind of goods is only 200, where are the good ones now?
The manager said quietly: I'm going to do live webcasts!
I see!@δΈζθεδΏ
6. When I came back, I saw my wife depressed.
Me: What's the matter?
Wife: It's a shirt!
Me: Didn't you always care about that?
Wife: If you collide with someone, forget it, collide with a pet dog, and the person who leads the dog also says, "Look at you wearing a small size and being so loose, look at the eldest sister of the family, you can wear a fattening and enlarged one and wear a tight effect!" @δΈηδΈ€ηδΈεη
7. Late at night, various devices in the park begin to speak
Street lamp: "People are so ruthless, they ignore me during the day, and let me work all night at night, it's better to be a big tree, and I don't have to do anything!"
Big tree: "Come on, haven't you seen it, the uncle and aunt in the park, secretly and pee in the grove, and young men and women fighting in the field, paper is everywhere, I'm about to be smoked to death, it's better to recliner, there are often beautiful women in their arms!!"
Recliner: "You can pull it down, and the beauty is in her arms, this year, which woman is not more than 180 pounds, it would be good if she didn't crush me to death!"
8. Xiaomei came back on a blind date, and her best friend couldn't wait to call to ask what the situation was.
Best friend: "How about Xiaomei, this man is very good this time, I heard that he looks like a star on TV!"
Xiaomei: "It's really like a star, like several stars!"
Girlfriend: "Like whom?"
Xiaomei: "Hair like Xie Guangkun, face like Zhao Si, stammering like Liu Neng!"
Girlfriend: "......"
9. Yesterday I went to the restaurant for dinner, I just entered the restaurant and met my acquaintance Xiao Li, I happily shook hands with him, he was still dodging at first, I said angrily: "Why do you not recognize old friends when you become a leader, and you don't even shake hands?"
Xiao Li blushed, stretched out his hand, and shook my hand, I felt wet, so I asked, "Why are you so nervous, so sweaty in your hands!"
Xiao Li: "Just ...... I just peed on my hands!"
Me: "Nima!"
10, Shell Lang opened a restaurant, just opened, the big yellow dog came to consume,
Yellow Dog asked, "What's the specialty?"
"Of course, we have fresh cow dung, fragrant sheep dung, horse dung, and donkey dung?"
Big Yellow Dog: "Cut, I don't know, tell you that the most delicious thing in the world is that the baby pulls it thin, smooth and delicious, not to mention how delicious!"
Shell Lang: "It's delicious, it's a pity, it's too thin to roll into a ball, I can't buy it!!"
11. Now I finally understand what the primary school texts are telling us.
1, "Little Tadpole Looking for Mother", this story alludes to the fact that human private life is very chaotic, and the problem of young girls having children out of wedlock is serious, so that children cannot find their mothers.
2, "The Story of the Ugly Duckling", this story alludes to the fact that human plastic surgery problems are very common.
3, "The Little Match Girl", this story alludes to modern society, children have unusually developed business acumen, and they know how to make money by setting up stalls at a young age.
4, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", this story alludes to the imbalance between men and women in our country, and the average seven men will marry one wife in the future.
12. Sons and bandits have many things in common
First, they'll all loot the money you've saved up most of your life.
Second, they will all threaten you, believe it or not, I will make you lose your children and grandchildren.
Thirdly, they only think of you when they are short of money, and then call you and ask you to call him.
Of course, there is still a difference between a son and a bandit, that is, the police can help recover the money robbed by the bandits, but the money robbed by the son will not be accepted by the police station!
13. In the evening, I drove home in a car, and my daughter-in-law sat in the back row, and I could see the happy look on her daughter-in-law's face.
Me: "Daughter-in-law, how about it, marry me and don't lose it, you see, sitting in our convertible, listening to the sound of the rumbling engine, blowing the evening breeze, looking up at the starry sky, thinking about our villa, which can not only be close to nature, but also accompanied by love, not only exercise the body, but also delight the body and mind......"
Daughter-in-law: "Don't be blind, you've broken the corn cob for a day, drive a tractor home, you can be obscene like this, you're not tired, are you!"
Me: "......"
14, Tang Seng: "Wukong, will you change seventy-two?"
Goku: "Of course!"
Tang Seng: "Can you change the stool?"
Wukong: "Of course, Master, why are you suddenly asking me this question?"
Tang Seng: "It's nothing, there's a vicious dog in front!"
Wukong: "......"
15. Takeaway has had too much impact on me, and there are the following points
1. Affected the relationship between me and my roommates, it turned out that my roommates begged me to let me bring food for them, but now that there is takeout, I order takeout directly, and my classmates' feelings are immediately much more indifferent.
2. It affects me to find a girlfriend, the reason is very simple, girls order takeout in the dormitory, don't go to the restaurant to eat, it's difficult to get to know a girl.
3. Affecting my rest time, the counselor often asks us to go to the work of the student union, and every time we want to take a break with dinner as an excuse at noon, the counselor will say to us: "No need to rest at noon, I will order takeout for you!"
4, affecting the relationship between me and my mother, my mother often counts me down: "You see that people deliver takeaways, they are about the same age as you, and their monthly income is tens of thousands, you look at you again, a foodie!"
16. Today, I rode a QR code, walked in the direction of Jingdong, passed through Wang Jianlin, and saw a Baidu cloud floating in the sky, and there was a piece of Taobao below, the color was net red, and I suddenly felt a little pulsating in my stomach.
17. Recently, I watched Sherlock Holmes and felt that my inference ability was bursting.
When I went home today, I smelled a smell of smoke, my wife's face was nervous, and I forced to ask, "Slut, did you bring a wild man home?"
Wife: "What nonsense are you talking about. β
Me: "Number one, I smell smoke, and I'm sure there's a man in the house." Second, I saw that there were traces of someone lying on the bed, there was also the smell of smoke, and I found no hair on the man, and I deduced that the man was bald. Thirdly, my private collection of good wine was secretly drunk, and I deduced that this man has a lot to do with you. Tell me, slut, which adulterer has come!"
At this moment, the old man came out of the kitchen with the dishes......
Me: "......"
18. The matchmaker introduces the object to the older leftover woman
The older leftover girl asked, "Auntie, is his family rich?"
Matchmaker: "Let me tell you this, his family lives in a villa on the top of the mountain, and the family uses lions as pets to relieve boredom, and his father doesn't have to do anything, just waiting to collect money every day!"
The older leftover girl was secretly happy, so she went on a blind date that night, and the next day, she came to the matchmaker in a hurry
The matchmaker asked, "Big niece, why are you so angry?"
Older leftover girl: "Why are you angry? You said that his family lived in a villa on the top of a mountain, but in fact it was a shack in a mountain village. He also said that his family used lions as pets, and when I went, I found out that you were talking about lice. You also told me that his father would take money while he was sitting, but isn't it, a beggar, sitting on the side of the road and begging!"
19. There was an old lady who wanted to forcibly take away a child, the child cried non-stop, the enthusiastic parents called the police, and the police took the old lady into the police station
The policeman asked: "Who are you, why did you forcibly take away the child, confess leniently, and resist strictly!"
Granny: "I'm the child's grandmother!"
The children on the side cried silently, and no matter how much the police asked, they would not speak
The policeman was helpless, turned on the TV, pointed to the TV and asked: "This is the cartoon "Super Wings", you tell me, which color is Xiaoai, which color is Duoduo, which color is Kufei, which color is Radius?"
Granny: "I...... My grandson doesn't watch this cartoon!"
The police changed the channel: "Okay, this is "Bear Infested", then you tell me, is the bear yellow or brown, and the little monkey is called Jiji or Maomao?"
The old lady knelt on the ground: "I confess, I am a human trafficker, and I ask the government for leniency!"
20. Yesterday I went to my eldest brother's house, my eldest brother was angry, I asked what was wrong, and my eldest brother said that my nephew was going to drop out of school.
I turned my head and asked my nephew, "Xiaoqiang, why did you drop out of school?"
The nephew replied, "The school cooking is so unpalatable, I can't stand it!"
I asked rhetorically, "You go to school to learn knowledge, not to enjoy it, how can you drop out because the food is not good?"
Nephew: "I went to cooking school!"
Me: "Damn!" @ε¦ε¦taηΉ??
21, Xiao Ming took a child home to play, and after the child left
Mom asked, "Xiao Ming, what is the number one classmate in the class just now?"
Xiao Ming: "First from the bottom"
Mom was angry, snapped, caught Xiao Ming and beat him violently: "If you don't learn well, let you not learn well, didn't I say don't play with children who are worse than you, you have to play with the first place!"
Xiao Ming: "When I first started playing with him, he was number one!" @ε°δΈδΈ