The night wind will move the window, hit the wall, and make a "snatching" sound, in this voice, I slowly raised my head, looked at the flickering candles, and looked at the red eyes of Miao Yan in the candlelight.

She looked at me with tears on her face: "Mother, why did you lie to me?"

“……”

"It turns out that the person in the third uncle's heart has always been you. ”

“……”

"Then why don't you sue me? You still keep telling me about the eldest princess, about how good my aunt is to him, and how well they are compatible, so that I think that when the third uncle is with her, he will become the happiest person in the world. It's because you say that I think so!"

“……”

"Since you said so much, why don't you just sue me, in fact, the person that the third uncle likes is you?"

“……”

"I like him, I want to marry him, I tell you everything, but mother, you hide everything from me, you don't even tell me about his relationship with you, you just look at me like this stupid every day, tell you how much I like him and how much I like him, watch me follow him every day and run after him...... But you know in your heart, but in his heart he likes you!"

“……”

"You're hiding everything from me!"

“……”

"How much else are you hiding from me!"

I felt terrible in my heart, and every word of the kind words was like a blow, hitting me in the chest, and I used almost all my strength to breathe to keep myself from being defeated by her overwhelming attack. Looking at her tear-stained face and stubborn expression, after a long time, I finally smiled miserably.

"Yes, the beloved of his heart is me. ”

“……”

"The person I love in my heart is also him. ”

“……”

Feeling Miao Yan's body tremble slightly, as if she was about to fall, I still looked at her calmly - perhaps only at this time can I have the courage and strength to tell her what I couldn't say in the past and won't say in the future.

As she trembled and was about to speak, I took the first step and said calmly, "Your third uncle—to be exact, was once your father. ”

She choked at once.

I said calmly: "Your mother, I used to be a little palace maid in this palace, because of some things, I was favored by your father and included in his harem. It's just that at that time, he had someone he loved, and I didn't want to wronged myself, so my mother's first child, maybe your brother or sister, had a miscarriage. This incident hurt me deeply, and even made me unable to forgive your father, although later, we reconciled, but it finally came to an end. After going through something, I jumped out of his boat into the river, wanting to kill myself, but also relief. ”

Miao Yan's eyes widened in horror, and he subconsciously reached out and grabbed my sleeve.

I said lightly, "But I didn't die, but I was saved." That person is your third uncle. ”

Her hand clutching my sleeve sank again.

"Your third uncle rescued me, but at that time, I found out that I was pregnant. Although I escaped from your father with death, I left one of his children in my belly - that is you. ”

“……”

"During those days, your third uncle has been taking care of me, treating me very well, and not asking for anything in return. Later, I married him, and until you were born, he was by my side and took good care of you. Do you remember the silver lock? Do you remember the words on it? It was a long-lived lock that he gave you after you were born, hoping that the three of us will not be separated in this life. ”

I saw large tears fall from her eyes and fall on my sleeve, which she was holding onto, and in a few moments, I was wet.

The cold wetness quickly soaked into my skin and made me shiver slightly.

I can imagine how much these things have made waves in her heart.

However, it has come to this point, I can no longer hide it, and there is no way to hide it, if my daughter is destined to have to suffer some pain, then, now, this is the moment.

I took a deep breath and continued: "I originally thought that we could never be separated for the rest of our lives, and he would treat you as his own daughter, take good care of you, and live like this for the rest of my life, in fact, for a long time, it was like this, but God played tricks on us - I was found by your father, he, he used some means to force us to separate, and later, you were kidnapped by others, and I-"

Miao Yan suddenly looked up at me: "How are you?"

Her gaze was a little scorching, and under that gaze, I finally gritted my teeth and said slowly: "I was locked up in the palace for more than two years, and then I managed to escape. ”

At this time, she suddenly said, "Is that all?"

"......" I looked at her with a slight frown.

Miao Yan's eyes flickered, as if the whole person was trembling, and looked at me: "These days, when I sneaked out to see you, I heard some palace people talking about you behind my back, talking about me, and even talking about that - the noble concubine Niangniang. What they say is different from what my mother said. ”

My eyes darkened: "They, what did you say?"

"They say, my mother is crazy, and you have been a madman for more than two years. ”

“……！”

My heart throbbed hard.

I didn't expect that these things were already known to her, but I didn't want her to know at all - she was now, when she was growing up, there were some things that she knew, and while she got the sympathy of her children, the majesty of her parents would also collapse at this time, so I tried to hide what I could.

Unexpectedly, those who chewed the root of the tongue in the palace still let her know about it.

I gritted my teeth fiercely and didn't speak, but I looked at me with a burning smile: "My mother still refuses to tell me the truth...... What that concubine did to you, I've heard a lot in the past few days. ”

“……”

I was silent for a long time before I realized that the time had come when I couldn't help but tell the truth.

She has probably reached the time to face the cruel reality.

So, I finally said: "Yes, my mother is crazy, for more than two years, my mother was locked in a room by them, and there were many pillars nailed to the door and windows, like a cage for wild beasts. The food that my mother eats, there are things in it that will make people crazy, and as long as my mother eats it, she will start to roar like crazy, roaring like a beast, and her throat will roar blood. I'm also going to see a lot of hallucinations, like -- I'm going to see someone snatch you from your swaddling clothes, or throw you off a cliff, or throw you into the water and drown. ”

“……”

"Every then, I would start beating people desperately, and sometimes, realizing that what I was seeing was a hallucination, but there was no way to get rid of it, I would bang my head against the wall, here, here, everything was broken, and blood flowed all over the ground. ”

“……”

"After a few times, I didn't dare to eat what they were given, so I put it in the corner and led the rats to eat it, and then I caught the rats and ate them. And the leaves and wood slag that the wind blew to the door, I ate everything. ”

“……”

"In the winter, the quilt they gave me looked good on the outside, but it was actually catkins mixed with broken cotton wool, and it was very cold, so I made a little fire and wanted to light something and roast it. The smoke was seen by the guards who were guarding me, and they grabbed me by the hair, dragged me out, and beat me in the yard for a long, long time. ”

“……”

I felt my sleeves sink deeper and heavier, and she was tugging at my sleeves.

So, I didn't say any more.

Although she had probably heard a lot from the mouths of those palace people, it was different to hear every detail from her mother's mouth.

And what I experienced in person is even more different.

The so-called "empathy" is just a useless nonsense, and no one will really understand how much hatred I have in my heart in those more than two years, how much pain and unwillingness I have in my heart, and I will not understand the severe pain when I am beaten, when I am starving, and when I hit the wall again and again.

Miao Yan's eyes were full of tears, but she didn't dare to move, as if she was afraid that if she moved, the tears would burst out again, she looked at me and said tremblingly: "Then why, you still have to take me to recite the Heart Sutra to her." Why are you—"

Seeing that she wanted to speak and stopped, I said lightly: "You want to ask, why is this all like this, my mother still survived, right?"

“……”

"It's for you. At that time, my mother's only belief was that you wanted to survive for you, and she wanted to survive and find you. If you don't have this belief, without you, mother, I probably really don't know what it will become, although I won't go crazy, but maybe I will really be killed by them one day, or one night, I will be frozen to death and starved to death. ”

“……”

"He died in that cage. ”

"Mother!"

She cried out in pain, tears finally welling up in her eyes, and she looked at me, crying and asking:

I heard her cry of pain, and tears finally burst out of my eyes, but at this time, I calmed down, looked at her calmly, and said, "Why don't you sue you for resenting your mother, and don't tell you anything." Yes, my mother doesn't plan to sue you, because people have to experience too many things in this life, birth, old age, sickness and death, resentment, love and parting, and can't beg. ”

“……”

"However, you should go through your own, not what your mother has experienced. My mother does not tell you, but I hope that you will face your future life with a happy and positive attitude, and those ups and downs and misfortunes that may occur. ”

“……”

"Reciting the Heart Sutra to her, it is not forgiveness, the mother does not have such a good heart to repay the grievances with virtue, the mother only repays the grievances with the straight, the Heart Sutra of that night, the mother is actually more for you to read, I hope that in the future, you will not have to bear the resentment that the mother has carried. ”

“……”

"As for your third uncle......

When I said this, I finally choked up, and when I saw her suddenly broken gaze, I said, "My mother really didn't tell you in the morning, because these things - my mother can't open her mouth." ”

“……”

"With his past, no one wants us to mention it, whether it's your father or your father. ”

“……”

"We also know that some things are impossible. So your feelings for him, sooner or later, will be over, there is no other reason, stronger than others, he just treats you as a daughter, as a junior, he is going to marry, it is your aunt, in his heart, like ......" I choked up, or continued: "This qiē is destined for you to have no results. ”

“……”

"So, my mother didn't tell you, I just hope that this incident will slowly fade away in your life and become a little memory, maybe many years later, there will be a little pain when you think about it, but the lover's mood is beautiful. ”

“……”

"Actually, in my heart, my mother is proud of you. ”

“……”

"My daughter, when she loves people, she doesn't just stare at people's skin, and she doesn't dislike people's origin and status, and in this regard, my mother is the most fortunate. Because even if you can't be with him, in the future, the person who makes you fall in love and can match you will definitely not be worse than your third uncle, he will definitely have a kind and upright soul, and a brave and gentle heart, so that my daughter will fall in love. ”

“……”

She frowned, as if she wanted to say something, but she couldn't.

I said gently: "There is no shame in loving someone, no matter what identity he is, what status, even if he doesn't love you, even if he loves someone else, but when you love him, enjoy the sweetness when you miss him, recall the past things you have experienced with him, and take the years spent with him as the best treasure of your life...... Does this make you miserable?"

“……”

"Love, originally a pure pleasure, as long as you want to ask for it, will be painful. ”

“……”

"People's lives are originally very free and easy, but people have put a lot of shackles on themselves, there are grievances and hatreds, there are also wealth, fame and fortune, but the last thing that should not be used as shackles is love. ”

“……”

"Don't use love as a shackle, lock yourself up, and lock up others. ”

“……”

Miao Yan's eyes flashed a lot of emotion, confused, suddenly, helpless, confused, clear, this qiē made her look a little confused, after a long time, she raised her head, looked at me with a complicated expression, and said: "Then mother, what are you locked in?"

“…… Me?"

When I heard this question, I was a little apprehensive.

What am I locked up with?

Looking at her big black and white eyes, there were tears in them, and there seemed to be a lot of affection, but at this moment, she only begged me for an answer.

What am I locked up with?

I was a little helpless, I laughed faintly, and then I felt a cold wind blow in, blowing the already faint candle on the table, and I turned my head to look, but saw out the window, in the dark night, a tall figure standing in the middle of the courtyard, looking at us quietly.