He refused so neatly that I didn't even have anything to say. I was dumbfounded, stood in front of him, and just looked at him.

Old Man Ma was very calm and said to me: "The eldest lady has a hard day, and she should have a good rest." ”

I said, "It's just that some things haven't been resolved, and I can't sleep even if I lie down." ”

"Miss, are you hesitating about that Pei Yuanxiu?"

“…… Well. ”

"If you hesitate, don't make a decision yet; If you make a decision, don't hesitate. Miss, think about it. ”

"Hmm."

"I'm leaving."

With that, he turned around and walked away without looking back.

I still stood there, even more stunned than I had just been.

Speaking of which, it is probably really not as good as the generation, I am a person who is still in the prime of life, but I am far less decisive and simple than this old man who has been in his twilight years.

Hearing me bow my head and smile helplessly, Su Su stepped forward: "Miss, what's wrong?" ”

"It's fine."

I just shook my head, and then I walked out, and she hurriedly followed, and then said, "Miss, are you going back to rest?" ”

"Nope."

"Then let's—"

I glanced back at her and saw her looking at me with wide eyes, helpless like a puppy, a little cute, I knew that she was worried that I might have to go to see Pei Yuanxiu, so I was so nervous, and I just smiled at her, and then said, "Let's go see the old lady." ”

"Oh, look at the old lady," she let out a long exhale, "well, that's good." ”

“……”

I couldn't help but smile faintly, turned to leave, and she hurried to follow.

|

When I went to Xue Qian's room, it was almost dark, and lanterns were hung under the eaves. Although I know that candles are very expensive in such a small village, and ordinary people are reluctant to light a candle even at night, but after all, we are here, and the people of Gantang Village are rarely extravagant.

When I arrived, Aunt Hong came out of it with a basin of cool water in her hand.

As soon as she saw me, she immediately came forward: "Miss! I just heard from them that then those people did it, and the eldest lady was not injured, right? ”

Before I could say anything to comfort me, Su Su immediately said, "Don't worry, the eldest lady has the blessing of the Bodhisattva, and there is nothing wrong at all." ”

Aunt Hong was skeptical, and looked me up and down for a while, convinced that I was really not hurt at all, so she gently chanted: "Amitabha, Amitabha, it's okay." ”

I laughed, and then asked softly, "How is the old lady?" ”

"I'm older, I'm a little frightened, and I'm a little feverish."

"Huh? Did you call the doctor to come and see him? ”

"After reading it, I said that it was okay, just a good rest."

"Well, then I's—"

I was about to say that I wouldn't go in to disturb her, but the people inside had already heard it, and Xue Qian's weak voice came from inside: "Is it light?" ”

When I heard this, I hurriedly said, "It's me." ”

"Come in."

“…… Ay. ”

Aunt Hong nodded at me, indicating that I should not care, I lifted my spirits, and then walked in.

There was a faint smell of medicine in the room, it should have been not long after drinking the medicine, I saw Xue Qian lying on the bed with a soft pillow under her head. Usually she is always full of majesty, and she doesn't even mess up a single hair, but at this time, it is inevitable that some sideburns are scattered, probably just wiped her face with water, and the hair on her forehead is slightly messy.

However, like this, she has a sallow face and weak energy, but it makes people feel a little close.

I walked over softly, stood on the edge of the bed and looked down at her: "Mother......

She raised her eyelids and looked at me, just like when Aunt Hong was at the door just now, looking up and down, she probably really had a low-grade fever, but her eyes were shining, and when she looked at me, every glance seemed to have some unspeakable sourness. After looking at it for a long time, he nodded slightly: "It's okay." It's good that you didn't get hurt. ”

I said softly, "Mother......"

She raised her hand and pointed at me with her index finger: "You sit down, I'm tired from looking up." ”

"Hmm."

I obediently sat on the edge of the bed, she saw my caution and caution, a bitter smile crossed her face, and then said, "Since I was a child, you have always been the most afraid of me, haven't you?" ”

I nodded, then shook my head again.

She said, "Then, do you hate me?" ”

I was silent for a moment, but still shook my head.

She chuckled and said, "I'm not as good as you as a child." ”

I whispered, "My mother, she once told me, madam, you also have your own suffering. ”

Xue Qian stiffened slightly, and after being silent for a long time, she suddenly smiled, and the light in her eyes flickered more and more: "She understands me." ”

I didn't say anything more, just looked at her quietly, and when I saw her smile to herself for a while, and then looked down at me, her face was slightly solemn: "You know, actually, I- I don't really hate her, at first, I didn't think about hating her. ”

“……”

"Feelings are such a thing, I understand, first come and come is not counted, even if I have loved your father for so many years, but if he really wants someone else in his heart, even if he digs out his heart with a knife, he can't save his heart."

“……”

"What really upsets me is that she did that to your father."

“……”

"Why is it that the person I love so much and love so much is nothing when he comes to your mother?"

“……”

"She was always faint to him, smiled lightly, spoke lightly, as if your father could not even arouse her feelings a little."

“……”

"Your father, heroic and amazing, such a person, is so good to her, he gave her everything, and even- in order to marry her, he left me in Xitang, and was almost expelled from the Yan family by your grandfather and grandfather. Such a person has done everything for her, what is she not satisfied with? Why is she—"

The more she spoke, the more excited she became, her chest continued to rise and fall, and her sallow face showed a little red, and when she said this, she was even a little out of breath, she barely stopped, and then looked down at me: "Your father has paid so much for her, why is she not moved at all?" ”

“……”

Compared to her excitement, I was very calm, even a little faint, and when she finished speaking, when I looked up at her again, my gaze was also faint.

I thought for a moment, then said softly, "Because, she's not you." ”

Xue Qian was stunned.

I originally wanted to sue her - in fact, the person who is extremely important to you may be nothing in front of others, just like the mother of each of us, and the mother of all people in the world, can have respect, but the superfluous feelings may not be squeezed out at all. It's just that when I think back to the time when my mother and father were together, I can't say it.

I paused for a moment, then continued, "My mother, she's such a person." ”

“……”

"She's been through too much, and it's been too bitter. Therefore, her feelings can't be as intense as your mother. ”

“……”

"Even to my daughter, she is like that, mother, have you forgotten?"

“……”

Xue Qian was speechless for a while, and only looked at me in a daze, as if remembering the scenes that happened back then.

After a long time, she exhaled softly.

I whispered again: "Moreover, since my mother understands that emotional matters are not counted when they come first, then why should you be entangled in who gives more and who pays less?" ”

“……”

"I think that my father's contribution to my mother is the same as my mother's contribution to my father, is it true that the other party must also pay the same for this transaction to be fair?"

“……”

"Mother's persistence over the years, is it for me to be willing to pay for that person, or is it for fairness?"

Xue Qian was speechless when I asked.

She lowered her head slowly, and under the reflection of the candlelight, the face that was already extremely thin was even older at this moment, even like an ownerless ghost, for a while, all the way and back seemed to have disappeared, making her more and more at a loss.

The two of us faced each other in silence, and I don't know how long it took for her to finally raise her head and look at me, with a faint smile of relief on her face, and then said, "You, you can see more clearly than me." ”

I smiled softly.

And she continued: "However, you can see so thoroughly, but you still have problems that you can't solve." ”

I was stunned and looked up at her, and she chuckled again, and then said, "Isn't it?" Didn't you come to see me because you were running away from a problem you couldn't solve? ”

I said, "Mother......"

She immediately added, "I know you must have wanted to come and see me, but I was right about that, wasn't it?" ”

“……”

This time, I was speechless.

People seem to be like this, once the shackles in the heart are let go, many things can be seen more thoroughly than in the past, in fact, it is not that the surrounding environment has changed, nor how much has changed in themselves, but because the heart is clear.

Right now, she has such a sense of clarity in her eyes, a faint smile on her face, although she is old and tired, but there is an indescribable feeling of kindness, and even the usual agritant aura on her body has been diluted, and slowly disappeared, she looked at me and said: "I heard that Pei Yuanxiu and your fifth uncle wanted to do it, but you were taken by that Liu Qinghan's men, and now they are locked up." ”

I nodded.

She said: "Actually, shouldn't you be looking at them now, or rather, trying them?" ”

“……”

"But you came to me and chatted with my old woman for a long time."

“……”

"You don't want to go over, and you're afraid of the past."

“……”

"Because there are some things that you can't decide, and you can't be ruthless, can you?"

“……”

I couldn't speak, I just felt