Chapter 25: It's All Wrong

I asked Xiao Sa about Chu Mingmin, Xiao Sa was stumbling, and finally told me that their junior high school squad leader Ke Yunqing also told him that Chu Mingmin was Zhang Xingchen's girlfriend, and she finally committed suicide because of Zhang Xingchen.

But Xiao Sa said that he believed in Zhang Xingchen.

He didn't speak confidently, not at all like he usually was.

I don't think it's that Zhang Xingchen is not worth believing, what really shakes me and Xiao Sa is me, I am a disabled person, a disabled person who has no reason to be loved.

I had a kind of cancer with low self-esteem, Zhang Xingchen unintentionally cut me several times, but it still remained in my body, I know, I can't save it.

If I were going to live on the confidence that others gave me, I would not be saved.

The day after I told him about Chu Mingmin, he dictated all the English words I assigned to him.

"It's amazing, why did you suddenly change sex?" I teased.

"People are inherently smart, and wisdom cannot be hidden." He was proud for a while, and when he saw that I didn't cheer much, he smiled and said, "I'm a drunkard, and I don't mean to drink, now, you can sue me about being locked up in the library?" ”

"Is it still necessary?" I threw the vocabulary book back to him, and I really didn't want to talk about Zhang Xingchen anymore.

"If you still want to hear it, you have to speak." Xiao Sa gently patted my head with the notebook, and smiled warmly, which made people unbearable to refuse.

I know that he is also by my side because of Zhang Xingchen, but in fact, until now, I still don't want to separate Xiao Sa from me, and the people around me, who are related to Zhang Xingchen, will mention him to me, only Xiao Sa.

"I was locked in the library by Zhang Xingchen......" I looked at Xiao Sa, still compromised, and finally smiled, or decided to tell him the "real version".

"Don't laugh like that, I'm uncomfortable to watch, even if you don't believe that the stars are true to you, he brings you a lot of happiness, doesn't he? Just treat it as if a friend made a mistake and spare him! Xiao Sa said.

May I? Is it really as simple as a friend making a mistake?

"When I was imprisoned, we were actually dating at that time, and that day, I had a few arguments with him. …… He was always late every time he cleaned, every time he was too late to eat breakfast because he was late, he was always hungry and shouted stomach pain, I was very angry that day, so I quarreled with him, I said, let him not come to clean in the future......"

At that time, Zhang Xingchen said angrily: "Don't let me clean up, are you planning to call Wang Yifan over again so that you can share a room with him!" ”

I saw that he was jealous, I originally thought it was funny, and I wanted to forget about it and stop messing with him, but who knows, Wang Yifan suddenly called.

Wang Yifan said that he had something to ask me, and I only found out two days later, and he found the letter I wrote to him from Lin Yan, and asked me to go out for this matter.

I just pushed the boat down the river, so I said to Zhang Xingchen: "You don't want Wang Yifan to come to help clean up, okay, then you sweep it yourself, I'll go." ”

Zhang Xingchen was anxious, and asked me in a loud voice if I was going to meet Wang Yifan.

I snorted and pouted noncommittally.

"Then, Zhang Xingchen relied on his fast legs and feet, rushed outside and closed the door, just to prevent me from going to see Wang Yifan." As I spoke, I couldn't help but smile: "Isn't it particularly naïve?" ”

"Stars are like this, it's so naïve to be jealous." Xiao Sa also practiced and nodded in agreement.

"I tried inside for a long time and didn't open the door, and after a long time, there was no movement outside the door, I thought Zhang Xingchen was gone, so I started crying inside......" I said, and the scene that day became clearer and clearer......

Zhang Xingchen had been hiding outside the door, and when he heard my cry, he immediately relented.

"I'm here, I'm not leaving." He said, "Don't cry, I was wrong, I was wrong. ”

I was relieved to hear his voice and asked him to open the door for me.

But Zhang Xingchen tried outside the door for a long time, but he couldn't open the door, the door lock problem with that door is true, usually the administrator is opening the door, and the door is generally not closed after opening, so we don't know at all.

The door couldn't be opened, so we discussed waiting for the administrator to come back and figure out a way. But who knows, the administrator happened to ask for leave that day, and Zhang Xingchen also waited patiently and waited, but we didn't wait for him back when it got dark.

Seeing that it was getting darker and darker in the library, I was so useless that I thought about staying in the library all night, and I was so anxious and angry that I cried again.

Zhang Xingchen said that he was going to smash the glass open, Xiao Sa knew him very well, but I didn't agree, I didn't want him to be demerit by the school, and I was afraid that he would be injured.

"Zhang Xingchen has been sitting on the windowsill with me, the glass of the window has been fixed, and he can only push open a relatively narrow slit, so he stretches out his hand to me through the guò crack and holds my hand." Tears blurred my vision unconsciously, I smiled, looked at Xiao Sa and asked him: "Xiao Sa, his arm is very thick, I found out later that his arm was bruised by the window for many days." …… You say, when he held my hand in pain, was the person he loved me? ”

This uncertainty, this feeling of love and hate has tormented me to the point of collapse, and I wish I could have an outlet.

"Whether he loves you or not, only you know, doesn't it?" Xiao Sa's eyes were also wet.

Xiao Sa and I were silent, and we fell into boundless memories together.

"Xiao Sa, Zhang Xingchen left a copy of "Jane Eyre" here with me, I only saw it when I cleared the table today, you can help me return it to him!" The person who suddenly appeared was the entertainment committee member of the class, Ru Yu, and Zhang Xingchen's former tablemate.

"He's gone abroad, where am I going?" Xiao Sa said angrily.

"Really? I heard that Jia Mi said that he was going to transfer schools before, and I thought he was just transferring with Jia Mi! Ru Yu said with a look of surprise, her tone a little exaggerated.

When it came to Qin Jiami, Xiao Sa's face turned blue and white for a while, and he looked a little funny.

"Lu Xiaochao, then I'll give you the book, you should keep a thought." Ru Yu said as she threw the book on my desk, lifted her chin, and went back to her seat.

"Jane Eyre", at that time in the library, Zhang Xingchen helped me pick up the book, it seems to be this one, I took the book, looked at the blue stamp on the back: "Happy Book House Special Chapter".

Sure enough, he didn't expect him to buy the book, and he once laughed at the name of the bookstore.

On the first page of the book, he wrote his name. I flipped through it again and saw his handwriting again; On the page where Mr. Rochester and Jane Eyre first met, he wrote a few sentences.

These few words almost took away my breath.

"When I first met Lu Xiaochao, I thought she was very much like Jane Eyre, thin and not beautiful, and I also felt that she was like the girl with a vague face who had been appearing in her dreams." After a long passage of text, there is a sentence under the section where Mr. Rochester is injured and helps Jane Eyre to limp onto her horse: "It seems, they are all on crutches." ”

I really want to close the book, before I am found out this paragraph, before I am discovered, I am lucky in my heart, and the assumption that Zhang Xingchen does not love me has not yet become a fact...... Until then, I want to hide the book, every word in the book.

But Xiao Sa saw it.

He saw it, and closed his mouth in astonishment.

"Xiao Chao...... Xiao Chao, are you alright? ”

Don't look at me, don't ask me, don't, don't, just pretend I don't save zài.

I originally thought that the saddest thing for me was that the person I loved didn't love me because I was disabled, but now I know that there is also the most tragic thing, the person I love, because I am disabled, loves me.

Or is it because of my disability, which is similar to another person's disability.

Ironically, the prince didn't mistake the princess for a mermaid, but for a mermaid?!

"I gave him a heart, an unpolished heart," I glanced at Xiao Sa, who was full of worry, and comforted him, "Don't worry, even if he breaks it to pieces, I will come back." ”

I am Lu Xiaochao, Lu Xiaochao who stubbornly survived even if he hated this world that doomed my fate; I'm a mermaid who dares to love and hate, a mermaid who exposes the tail of a fish that desperately wants to hide to the sun.

"Of course I'm fine, I'm fine." I sue sù Xiao Sa.

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