cpa300_4(); It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, and I saw that his expression became lighter.

It's just that I'm a little at a loss and a little panicked.

He looked up at me for a long time, but he didn't speak, didn't even argue with my verdict, just looked at me like this, and his gaze was as gentle as ever.

After a while, he said softly: "Qingying." ”

“……”

He called my name and stroked my cheek lightly, but, I don't know if it was because he had been in this room for too long, or if the two of them were too close, his palms were covered with cold sweat, and when he touched my skin, there was an indescribable sticky feeling that made me shiver slightly.

"When did you start doubting me and not believing me?"

“……”

"From the time you went out to sea?"

“……”

"When you marry me?"

“……”

"It's the first time you've seen me in Jinling. ”

I looked at him silently, looked at him for a long time, and said slowly, with some difficulty: "When I was in the palace." ”

His face changed slightly, and he immediately seemed to remember something: "I remember, that time, I disposed of He Qingzhou's family, and since that time, you have been afraid of me, right?"

I looked at him and didn't speak.

"But this is a common thing, which prince in the palace has not severely punished the officials who have been convicted? Even the fifth child, when he was in Xidatong, was like a murderer; Pei Yuanhao made the imperial city bleed like a river in order to compete for the throne! This qiē is something you have seen with your own eyes. As he spoke, his tone became heavier and heavier, and his tone became higher and higher: "Why, why are you afraid of me when you can accept their cruel methods?"

“……”

"Why, you've been on guard against me from beginning to end?"

“……”

"Since you've been on guard against me, why are you saying all the qiē now? Don't you know that you're still by my side, and the wonderful words are still here?"

“……”

"Aren't you afraid—"

I looked at the face that was still as pure as a fairy until now, but, maybe because of the fluctuating relationship, the corners of his eyes were slightly red, and I leaned on the back of the bed in a slight cold sweat, but I still sat calmly in front of him, motionless, only the hand holding the silver lock was constantly tightening, constantly clenching, and the hard lock plate touched the palm of the hand and hurt slightly.

At this moment, Pei Yuanxiu suddenly felt something, he suddenly stood up, but before he could react in a hurry, he heard a commotion outside.

He turned around, walked out a few steps and opened the door, and heard several guards walking in from outside, and when he walked to the door, he bowed down: "Childe." ”

"What?"

"Just now, our people at the dock saw that girl in the inner courtyard crossing the river with Miss Miaoyan!"

"What?!"

"It's true. They didn't know what was going on, and they were worried that it was Madame and Gongzi who had confessed, and they were about to go up to inquire, but they were beaten back by a person, and Miss Miaoyan and the little girl were taken over the river!"

"Who is it?!"

"It seems to be, it's a centurion in the battalion, the one named Gu Ping. ”

Suddenly, the sound outside suddenly fell silent.

And the stone in my heart also fell to the ground completely.

After a while, I heard a squeak, the door was closed, Pei Yuanxiu turned around and walked over, his face was already completely pale, and when he looked at me, even his eyes were already a little red. He walked over to the bed and sat down, slowly approaching me, feeling his breath hot and long, but like a spark, blowing on my face and almost burning me.

But I still calmly raised my head and looked into his eyes, unmoved.

The words are gone, and I have nothing to fear.

"Why did you send her away?"

“……”

"Do you think I'm going to use her to hurt you?"

I nodded and shook my head again.

His eyebrows frowned slightly, and he looked at me suspiciously, and I thought about it and said, "Yuan Xiu, I still remember that when I came to Jinling to find a wonderful word, you asked Han Ruoshi to take her to the temple to worship the Buddha, and it was a long time to go. And at that time, you already knew that I went south, and the people were in Yangzhou, and even you sent people to look for me in Yangzhou. Do you remember this?"

His face sank slightly.

This incident, obviously he didn't forget it, and I won't forget it, it was because he asked Miao Yan to go to the temple to worship the Buddha, I had no choice but to continue to stay with him and wait for Miao Yan to come back, and because of this, Miao Yan encountered Pei Yuanfeng's attack and was rescued by Shen Xiaokun, and a series of things happened later.

He said in a deep voice, "You said that you have forgiven me. ”

"I do forgive you," I looked at him lightly, "but it doesn't mean that I can accept it." ”

“……！”

"You should know that Miao Yan left me when she was only a few months old, and I have been locked up in the palace for so many years, and I refuse to give up and insist on leaving the palace, just to see her. At that time, I was already in Yangzhou, and you also sent someone to find me, you should know that I may be found by you at any time, and you can better understand the urgency of a mother who wants to see her daughter. ”

“……”

"But you sent her away. ”

“……”

"In order to keep me with you a few more days, you sent her away when I was about to meet her. ”

“……”

"I've always been grateful to you for saving Miaoyan back then, and for your nurturing kindness to her over the years, but I'm so scared. I'm not afraid that you will hurt me, because you will not do this, I am just afraid that you will use her, and I am afraid that you will do anything with her in order to keep me by your side again. ”

He sat in front of me, his pale face frozen in ice.

I said: "That's why, so at that time, although I took her to leave you, I didn't dare to go far, but stayed in the place where you can control it, Jixiang Village." ”

“……”

"As long as I don't go far and am still under your control, you won't be angry and you won't do anything to us. ”

“……”

"I know that at that time, Gu Ping and they came to Jixiang Village once a month to take care of us and help me do some heavy work, but more importantly, they came to see us and make sure that I didn't leave and didn't plan to leave. ”

That year was actually a tug-of-war between me and him, he asked Gu Ping and them to help me do something, but he never helped me in life, because he didn't want me to be too smooth after leaving him, he hoped that I could return to him, and I, I hoped that that the time of that year would make him figure it out, and I hoped that he and the Han sisters could have a result, so that I could completely get out of his control.

It's just that I didn't expect that night, that arrow, to break that tug-of-war.

And today, this arrow also completely pierced the layer of window paper between me and him.

I looked at his pale, almost chilling face, and said softly: "I don't mean that I can accept Pei Yuanfeng and Pei Yuanhao's methods. It's just that Pei Yuanfeng kills people like hemp, because he is a general, and in order to protect his family and defend the country, he is not in charge of the army! And Pei Yuanhao's ruthlessness, he is like this, and he has never concealed it, although I am afraid of him, I also see him clearly. ”

He looked at me: "What about me?"

“……”

"Can't you see through me?"

I was silent for a long time, and said in a trembling voice: "I dare not see through you." ”

……

After saying this, the surroundings suddenly fell silent.

For a moment, even the wind stopped, and the candle flame that had been swaying in the wind before seemed to condense at this moment, and the faint candlelight shone on half of his face, causing his other side of the face to fall into a deep shadow.

Even so, I could still see his eyes, and those gentle gazes never changed to look at me.

I don't know how long it took me to hear him speak and whisper my name.

"Young Baby ......"

"Huh?"

"Young Baby ......"

He whispered again, looked me deeply in the eye, and said, "Why can't you be a little confused?"

“……”

"Even if it's just a little. ”

“……”

Hearing his words, I didn't resist in the slightest, because I had asked myself this countless times, and at this moment, I even felt that he was right.

Why can't I be a little confused, even a little? Even -- a little bit of compromise?

So, can my life be much sweeter?

But the next moment, I looked up at my shadow reflected in his dark eyes, small, thin, as pale as a ghost, but always so clearly, and I suddenly understood again.

I can't be confused, and I can't even compromise.

If I am a little confused, then the person who met him in the Inner Hidden Pavilion in the first place will not be me, and I will not let Pei Yuanhao remember it, let alone all the things that happened after this in my body. I will leave the palace safely and marry an ordinary, honest man, but this man will never be the former Liu San'er, the current light cold.

If, I'm a little confused, I'm good at compromising......

I looked at him and smiled sadly: "If I am a little confused, the person in front of you will not be me." ”

“……”

"If I'm a little confused, even a little, today, at this moment, you don't have to say this to the person in front of you. ”

“……”

He looked at me in silence for a moment, and suddenly, he smiled.

With an indescribable bitterness in his smile, he said, "Yes, you're right." ”

“……”

"If you're really confused...... You will not be today's you, and I will not be today's Pei Yuanxiu. ”

As he spoke, he pressed his cold palm against my face, rubbing his thumb lightly against my cheek, and said with a smile, "But, yes, I say to you—"