They all said that Zhang Xingchen fled in fear of sin.

It seems like there was no warning, but it all seemed to be rehearsed.

He left, leaving behind only a post-it note on the refrigerator: "Eat well, sleep well, don't cry." ”

Don't cry, he said don't cry.

The person who swore and proposed a few days ago suddenly disappeared without a trace, and left a message saying that he was not allowed to cry.

On the first day after Zhang Xingchen disappeared, Lu Xi accompanied me, the second day, Lin Yan accompanied me, on the third day, it was Lin Ke, and on the fourth day, I didn't open the door to them again.

Zhang Xingchen should have been arranged, for that sentence, don't cry. So so many people were arranged to spy on me.

I searched the house several times, behind the TV, on the walls, on the paintings, in the wardrobe, in the curtains,...... I found all the places I could find, Zhang Xingchen wasn't joking with me, there was no pinhole camera.

Later, I used the chair cushion, held the back of the chair, climbed high for the first time, looked for the chandelier, but did not find it, fell off the stool, hit my head on the foot of the coffee table, and got a bag on my forehead.

I hope that it is okay to die like this, maybe Zhang Xingchen will regret it for the rest of his life when he hears the news of my death, and regret that he should not have left me alone.

I went to Zhang Xingchen's room, and the ticket in the box was gone.

It's obviously two tickets, but they're gone.

This is the first time I went out after Zhang Xingchen left, after I came back from City A, I saw Lin Yue as soon as I went downstairs, he was standing against the car, his head was up, and his eyes were focused on the location of Zhang Xingchen's apartment.

"I'm not going to jump off." I say.

He came back to his senses when he heard my voice, and then asked me with a worried look in his eyes, "Are you okay?" ”

"I'm going to find Qin Jiami." I say.

"She's gone, I've been looking for her. is gone, Luo Mingjie is crazy looking for her. Lin Yue said, "She's gone." ”

My heart felt like I had been hit by a thousand pounds of boulders, and I almost cried.

But I still held back.

If I cried, I would have fulfilled Zhang Xingchen's wishes. If I don't cry, I won't forgive him.

"What are you hinting at me? You're trying to tell me that she went with Zhang Xingchen, right? Do you think I'll believe you when you say that? I won't believe a word! "I misinterpret and babble to myself.

"I'm not implicit, I'm stating a fact." Lin Yue said.

I think all the people in this world who know Zhang Xingchen and Qin Jiami will believe it, right? I believe they are flying away together.

How ridiculous, the person he proposed to was me, the one who walked away hand in hand. But it was her.

"Many years ago, he left you unexpectedly and even involuntarily, but now it is different, he is good at his hands and feet, no illness and no pain, he walked away from you by himself." Lin Yue said: "If I guessed correctly, he didn't leave abruptly, he must have left a message for you, his departure." It's planned, right? ”

I want to deny it. I wanted to scream and deny every word Lin Yue said, but I couldn't say a word.

Lin Yue said, Zhang Xingchen is gone, it's over between you, Lin Yue said: "Lu Xiaochao, find someone who can do your best." Love. ”

Someone who can do it? Isn't it funny? Is there still love in this world? Someone's heart, is it within my reach?

Zhang Xingchen he really didn't leave in a moment, he had already planned it, and when I saw the ticket in the box, I knew that he was leaving, but I was naïve to think. He said that I should go wandering with him, to die together, and that the person he was going to take away was me...

I wandered the streets all day, and finally turned back to Zhang Xingchen's apartment.

No wonder, no wonder he insisted on changing the password to a number related to my birthday, no wonder.

In an instant, everything could be seated in the right place, everything Zhang Xingchen said and did was to throw me down.

Then Zhang Xingchen left my sense of reality, and it was overwhelming.

It's really funny, knowing that on the fourth day of Zhang Xingchen's departure, I realized that he might really leave me, and maybe we won't have a chance to see each other again in this life.

I still remember what he told me when he got off the elevator the day before yesterday, he said that the elevator entrance is equipped with surveillance cameras, and he said that if I go home late, he said that if he is not at home, he said that if I am afraid, he will wave to the camera, and the people outside the camera are looking at me, so I don't have to be afraid.

He had already made up his mind to leave me when he said those words, and he was going to leave me, so why should he care if I would be afraid to go home alone?

He said that when pressing the password at the door, you must pay attention to security, do not be peeked at the password, and he also said that if you meet a bad person, you must not be strong, and he also emphasized: "It's best not to walk around alone, it's best not to meet a bad person." ”

He said so much, I didn't expect that he was planning to leave me?

All his things in the apartment were gone, not even the toothbrush in the bathroom, nothing, all my things that were in the guest room had been moved to his room, my clothes were all hung in his closet, my books were all in his bookshelf, and the brushes and paints that he had hidden were now generously placed on the shelves in his room.

The room was spotless, and not even a trace of his breath remained.

It seems that from beginning to end, my reunion with him was just a sweet dream for me.

He said, Lu Xiaochao, you look good when you smile, countless times better than when you cry.

He said, Lu Xiaochao, I prefer your right hand, because you have a mole in the palm of your hand, and your right hand can also draw beautiful design drawings.

That night, the night before he sent me to his mother, he held me in his arms and refused to let go, like a child, and he lied to me that he was reluctant to be separated from me for two days so long, and he said that I was obliged to cure his missing.

He said that when I came back from his mother, he would take me to pick out a wedding dress, and he promised me that he would drive to City A to pick me up, but what he said was all to lie to me, just to trick me away.

I don't know if I cried or not, maybe I cried, maybe I didn't cry as he wished, I just knew that every time those images were repeated in my mind, every time those words rang in my ears, my heart felt like it was torn apart.

There was a sound of pressing the code at the door, and then the door opened.

I sat in the living room and burst into tears.

It must be Zhang Xingchen, walking from the entrance to the living room, he only needs to walk a dozen steps, only a dozen steps, and he will hold me into his arms in distress.

Before these ten steps, he would hear me crying, and he would be frightened by me, so before he hugged me, I should have heard him yelling at my name and asking why I was crying again.

But no.

He didn't call me by name.

I didn't hear Lu Xiaochao's name, I didn't hear Zhang Xingchen's voice.

The person who walked into the living room and saw me crying like a waste was not Zhang Xingchen.

The man said, "What's the use of you crying like this?" ”

Is it? Is this what Zhang Xingchen also means? It's useless to cry, my tears are useless with him, so I'm not allowed to cry?

She walked around the room, and then she burst into tears, muttering, "Sure enough, nothing was left behind." ”

At last, her gaze fell on my face, and then she slowly came towards me, her gaze softer than any time I had ever seen her, and with pity, and she said in a trembling voice, "If he saw you crying like this, he might not leave." ”

She frowned and sighed: "You are like this, what kind of mood should he be in when he leaves!" ”

Is it?

Is he also reluctant? Did he go heartbreakingly?

She caressed my face and called me "child" in the most tolerant voice, I really can't imagine how she could treat me so kindly when she hated me so much?

Before she could speak, tears fell.

"He said you were a part of his life, the only thing he wanted to take with him, but he couldn't," she said. She said, crying, "He said that if he doesn't come back, you will be the only thing he has left me for him." ”

I cried and laughed again.

So, he didn't leave anything behind, just to leave me to his mother?

But why does he think that I will obediently accept everything he has arranged for me, I have lost him, what else can I care about?

The aunt said, "He didn't even give me an explanation, only about you." ”

Come to think of it, there is no worse person in this world than Zhang Xingchen, he is gone, the funny thing is that he is decisive, but he is so clever that I can't hate him for half a point.

He said he wouldn't cry, so I wouldn't cry.

I remember the night he hugged me and refused to let go, he also talked a lot, he asked me a lot of innocuous questions, I was also suspicious at that time, but he excused himself and said that he wanted to lie to me and say a few sweet words, but he didn't expect that it would be so difficult.

He said, "I ask you, how long will you remember me?" ”

I asked him why he asked that and what he meant.

He replied to me, "If one day I am no longer with you, will you remember me?" How long will you remember me. ”

Come to think of it, the only thing that made me feel balanced was that night, when he asked me these two sentences, and I didn't answer him.

It should be like this, and I can rely on this balance to relieve my pain from being left behind by him.

It's supposed to be like this, but my heart aches for it.

If only I had answered him cheerfully! If I tell him that if he leaves me, I will never remember him in the slightest, and if I answer in this way, will he be afraid, and will he not leave me?

But this kind of thinking is just naïve, his plan to leave me is so thorough, he is so well-intentioned, he doesn't even leave a way back for himself, how can he not leave because I don't miss him? (To be continued......)