It had been raining in San Francisco for two days before the rain, but Cheng Xiaoyu's arrival seemed to bring good luck to the city, yesterday it was sunny when he came, and today is the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, and the Lantern Festival is a rare sunny day.

For a city like San Francisco, two days of sunny weather in February are extremely rare.

The sun was faint, Xu Qinning leaned on Cheng Xiaoyu's shoulder, with a happy expression.

At this time, Cheng Xiaoyu received a call from Meng Guozhen on the way to the hotel, and after Cheng Xiaoyu pressed the answer, he heard Meng Guozhen tell him that he had found a stack of letters behind the old Yamaha upright piano.

Cheng Xiaoyu asked with some confusion: "Letter?"

Meng Guozhen said on the phone: "Yes, some did not write the address, it should not have been sent, some were sent from China, and the sender was your father, Mr. Su Changhe..... Address: 89, 900 Est College Street, San Francisco..... The recipient is Cheng Qiuci...."

Huaxia City was the first place where Cheng Qiuci settled, and Cheng Qiuci lived there for more than three years, and after finding a job at the San Francisco Theater, he moved to the cheaper Hunter's Point.

Xu Qinning, who was sitting next to Cheng Xiaoyu, saw that Cheng Xiaoyu's expression was a little strange, so he asked, "What's the matter?"

Cheng Xiaoyu turned his head and glanced at Xu Qinning, who was a little lazy, and smiled: "It's nothing, it's probably a letter from my father to my mother." Then Cheng Xiaoyu said into the phone: "Brother Meng, please send me these letters after the piano and bookcase are sent away, and bring these letters back to the hotel for me.....

After Meng Guozhen agreed, Cheng Xiaoyu hung up the phone and sent Xu Qinning back to the hotel back to the Fairmont Hotel, and then to San Francisco City Hall, which is only a few minutes away from the City Hall.

For these letters, although Cheng Xiaoyu was very curious, he didn't take them to heart, let alone feel that he had to wait to see them, no matter what reason Su Changhe didn't fulfill his responsibilities to his mother and himself, the deceased are gone, and the living are like this, there is really no need to worry about this.

Besides, Cheng Xiaoyu can understand his father now, he must have endured a lot of pressure from the family before he made a last resort, and his mother is an extremely strong person and will not give his father a chance to embarrass him, so he took the initiative to quit.

It's like Pei Yanchen.

Of course, the real reason should be more complicated than he imagined, maybe there are also the grievances and hatreds between his grandfather and grandfather's generation, but the Su family has disappeared, so there is no need to dig deeper.

The meeting was held in the white building of the bell tower at Los Angeles City Hall, during the meeting, Cheng Xiaoyu improvised some words to meet the topic, and had a luncheon with a group of participants at the city hall at noon, and Cheng Xiaoyu did not participate in the afternoon meeting, Chen Haoran participated in the meeting as a representative of Cheng Xiaoyu.

Cheng Xiaoyu returned to the hotel after the luncheon, and he didn't sleep very well last night, so he wanted to go back and rest for a while, so he could accompany a group of people to participate in the parade of floats on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, which started at five o'clock.

Cheng Xiaoyu drank a few glasses of red wine, a little drunk, and when she returned to the room, there was no sound inside, but the low heels that Xu Qinning wore last night were thrown at the door at random, Cheng Xiaoyu guessed that she should be sleeping, and the two of them were also tossed enough last night, and they didn't sleep much all night....

Cheng Xiaoyu carefully closed the door, trying not to disturb Xu Qinning, who might be asleep.

He tiptoed into the living room, took off his coat, threw it on the sofa at random, untied his tie, and prepared to take a shower and go to bed, but he saw a plastic bag on the coffee table, which was a stack of beige and white letters.

Only then did Cheng Xiaoyu remember the letter Meng Guozhen had told him.

He walked over to the coffee table and took a letter from the plastic bag, the brown envelope looked like a rusty piece of iron, with three yuan and five cents stamps affixed to it, and a black postmark.

Then there is a line of beautiful regular script, the handwriting is soaked in water in some places, and it looks like some misty, which reads: No. 35, Qingshuijing Hutong, Beijing.

That is the address of the Su family's old house, and the sender is Su Changhe.

The pen written in Chinese is very charming, but the English address is not written satisfactorily, there is no beauty, Cheng Xiaoyu knew at a glance that it was Su Changhe's handwritten letter.

The envelope has been cut, Cheng Xiaoyu took out the letter with a heavy mood, the ancient style of red checkered stationery, glowing damp yellow, the pen on the back of the paper force, some slightly blurred, but it does not affect the reading at all.

Qiu Porcelain: See you well!

I couldn't sleep all night and wrote to you.

You say, "If it weren't for my father, he wouldn't have had these things, and I admit that he was responsible, but is there nothing wrong with your father's stubbornness?" If he hadn't stood up for his own views in prison and realized his mistakes as soon as possible, there would have been no room for reinstatement......

Anyway, it's too late to talk about all this, and I can't go into detail with you in the letter.

I still remember that you liked to wear a tweed coat made in Russia, when we rode our bicycles to Lao Mo for dinner, went to Shijing Mountain to ride the Ferris wheel, and walked in Shichahai Xiaoice car...... I've always had the photos I took with your brother and you and Lei Lei, but it's a pity that I didn't take them with you alone, which is a pity.

At that time, I didn't feel that I had a good time playing every day, and I didn't think there was anything special, but now I think about it, it's really a heavenly garden. Every spring, summer, autumn, and winter is so beautiful, and now there is nothing left, but everything is still there, and maybe I will never have a moment like that in my life.

I can only live in my memories, fantasizing about some unrealistic things every day, thinking that if all this has not happened, we will be able to get married soon, you say that you don't want to live in a courtyard, we can go to live in a building, the teacher's dormitory building of Peking University is also good, close to your parents, it is good to go to the canteen to eat, and you can do it yourself at home.....

I don't know if you are doing well in the United States now, the capital is dusty, I heard that the sky in San Francisco is very blue, I want to take a look with you, but I don't know if I can get a visa, you are clear about the situation in China.....

Speaking of this for the time being, in addition, about the matter of children, you must think carefully, it is not easy for you to be in the United States, there is no need to increase the burden on yourself, anyway, now that you have successfully arrived in the United States, his mission will be completed, it is better to beat it.

Although it is cruel to say this, I am in the country, and the help I can give you is too limited, and besides, that child should not exist in the first place, please think carefully.....

I don't know what else I can do for you, but I'll try, you understand my heart, and let the past pass.

I miss you. But there are a lot of things that can't be said.

Su Changhe

After reading this letter, Cheng Xiaoyu's heart beat like thunder, and he was full of suspicions, his father undoubtedly loved his mother very much, but he was not close to him who was still in his belly, this attitude was really a little indifferent and excessive.....

Cheng Xiaoyu took out another letter without an address, did not cut it open, and did not seal it, he took it out and saw that it was his mother's beautiful handwriting, which should have been written, but it was not sent.

River:

Faith can only be on the road forever, just like if you send me to Xiangjiang, I want to leave, you can only stay.

Thank you so much for doing so much for me, so that I can survive in secret, but I feel so tired, and memories are all untouchable sufferings for me, and this is not something you can relieve.

I remember when I was a kid, I liked to have long hair, and I always wanted to be able to tie a braid, so I didn't want to cut my hair, but I couldn't comb it. My mother had to go to work every day, and she didn't have time to help me with my hair, let alone help me comb a beautiful braid every day.

So my hair didn't grow long, and my mother forcibly cut it off, which made me feel like a boy, and I stood in the yard in great frustration, feeling that I was just a burden, and I hated Scissors and my mother in my heart, and decided not to talk to her anymore.

She was a university teacher, and I didn't think there was anything great about college teachers at that time, I only saw other people's mothers braiding their daughters and making beautiful clothes, and they often laughed, Juan'er's mother often laughed, and the smile was very kind, and she would give me candy when she saw me, but my mother has always been very serious and only cares about whether my grades are good or not.

I thought at the time, it would be great if the child could pick the parents, I must choose the best one for myself, so I thought about it among the children I knew, and thought about it all over again, but I was all denied by myself, or my mother is the most suitable to be my mother, I still can't accept others to be my mother, just because I am her daughter.

It was only later that I realized that children and mothers were destined for a long time, and all struggles, desires, and demands far from themselves were in vain.

I also thought about this child for a long time, but I thought, if there is no him, then what is the point of my life? So no matter why he ended up in my womb, whether it should be or not, and whether he has a father in the future, I can only give birth to him selfishly.

As for you, let's live a good life in the capital! We are no longer people of the same world, and you should not say such things as coming to the United States to find me, finding a good girl to marry is my greatest comfort, I already owe you too right, and I can't continue to owe you.

Those past experiences are a bottomless river for me, which should have swallowed me mercilessly, thank you for the rope you threw at me, although this rope is full of thorns, although I still come out of the river is still an endless night, but I still want to thank you.

I also miss the days you mentioned, but after this brief remembrance, there is a never-ending pain.

Having said all this, it is impossible for you to see it, and the only thing I can do is to bless you in this distant place. Forgive me for not being able to send you the letter, you should know that there are always things I have to bury.

I've got something I should not say until I die.

Cheng Qiu porcelain

San Francisco, August 21, 1992