On the twenty-fifth day of August, today is the host of the "open star" fish Ehime, who arrived in time. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Yu Ehime took the stage alone, and the music did not play.

"I'm really sorry big guy, it's not too early to come today. Actually, there was a reason, I met two crickets drinking ink on the way and pretending to be angry with me. ”

As soon as Yu Ehime said this, the people below laughed, and knew that this "Kaixing" was the best at telling jokes to make people happy, so they all waited to listen.

"There was a collapsed nose who asked a big nose and said: 'Brother Nian, there are a few lines in the book of songs that the younger brother doesn't understand, and I hope that Brother Nian will teach you. The big nose said, "Wherever and where, the virtuous brother asks him, and the foolish brother will have something to say." ’”

She used two different tones of voice, which sounded more and more interesting.

"'These are the few sentences, Guan Guan Ju Dove, in the river island. My Fair Lady, Gentleman. ''Ah, that's it, it's easy to explain. Let's talk about the first sentence first, this customs bureau is troubled, that is, there are two black gambling games in Shanhaiguan and Yumen Pass, which let the six doors be pulled. ''Oh...... It turned out that it was explained like that, and there were six doors to the gambling game. What about the second sentence?'' This is in the boat of the river, which means that they later played in the boat in the river. "I understand again, those three sentences are ......'' This Yao Tiao lost the girl, that is, Lao Yao played a two-strip and lost all the money to the woman. "What about the last sentence?" "This gentleman's good ball is better explained, that is, after Lao Yao lost all his money, he regretted it so much, he quit gambling and became a gentleman and changed to playing juju." ''Oh, Brother Nian is really talented. It turns out that this poem is about playing mahjong. The foolish brother admired it tightly. ''Brother Xian is too polite, Brother Xian is the future to be fearful.'' ''Alas. "Hey, brother Xian, what do you sigh about?" "I sigh that our brother was born at the wrong time, and no one appreciates such a high talent." ''yes.'' In this way, you and I each make a pair of Spring Festival couplets, and we also know whether we have knowledge or not. "Okay, let's ask Brother Nian to come out of the union." ''Hmm...... Hey, I'll take the mountains in the distance as the theme, and the mountains look like the tip of a knife from a distance. How?'''Oh, it's really unprecedented. Listen to my foolish brother, huh...... Up close, the mountain looks like a sharp knife. ''Oh, our brother's knowledge is really incomparable, why is it that no one thinks of it? This is so unfair. ''Who's to say it's not, there's no place to be reasonable.'' After saying that, the collapsed nose and the big nose hugged their heads and cried. When they cried to the point of grief, an old man who came over there to dig a dung pit for other people, saw that they were sad like this, and came forward to ask, and the collapsed nose and the big nose told them about their Huai Cai and the 'Gao Lian', and the old man also howled and cried after hearing it. The big nose said, 'Brother Xian, do you see?' and people feel sorry for us. ''Yes, the old man is really kind-hearted. The old man stopped his sorrow and said, "No, I'm sad that you two have a lot of dung, but I can't get it out." ’”

"Hahaha......" The laughter in the audience has never stopped until now.

"I guess the real crickets are better than them after drinking the ink. For example, Su Dongpo, a great writer in the Northern Song Dynasty, once joked about his sister Su Xiaomei's Xiao Ben'er and wrote a poem: The fragrant body has not left the boudoir, and he has arrived in front of the painting hall. That means that the person is still in the house, and Ben'er goes out first. ”

"Hahaha...... How big is that?" said someone in the audience with a smile.

Su Xiaomei was immediately unhappy. Yu Ehime continued, "A poem back to his brother ridiculed Su Dongpo's long face. Last year, there were a little lovesick tears, and this year they flowed to the mouth. That is to say, I shed a little tears last year, and this year it only came to my mouth. ”

"Hahaha......"

"Sometimes, jokes are not only funny, but also thought-provoking and thought-provoking. It is said that the grandparents and grandchildren went to the market together and bought a little donkey in the market, and on the way back, the grandfather and grandson met a drunken little leper, and when they saw the grandfather and grandson, they immediately laughed, saying that they were fools, and that there were donkeys that did not ride on the aisle. When this grandfather heard this...... Also, yes, I felt sorry for the next generation, so I hugged my little grandson on the donkey. As he walked like this, he met an old master again, and when he saw it, he frowned, his face drooped, and he snorted coldly, and said, "It's not like that, the little junior rides a donkey and lets the old elder walk on the ground." When the grandson heard this, he didn't dare to ride immediately, so he let his grandfather ride, and the grandfather got on the back of the donkey. After walking for a while, he met an old woman, who saw that her face looked as if it were something, and said, 'Alas, what is the way of the world? A child walks on the ground, but the adult is on a donkey. This child is not his own, and he doesn't need to be so untreated, is he? What a ruthless old man. After hearing this, the grandfather thought about it, so he picked up his grandson on the donkey. The grandfather and grandson rode the donkey for a while, and a monk saw that he was busy putting his hands together and saying, 'How can a little donkey withstand two people's rides? Amitabha. 'The grandparents and grandchildren are in trouble now, it is unwise not to ride, it is unfilial piety for the younger generations to ride, but the elders are unkind to ride, and the grandparents and grandchildren ride together, and it is unkind. Simply, the grandfather asked his grandson to find a flat pole and a rope, tied the donkey's four legs and carried it by the grandson and grandson. No one said anything this time, and when they saw that they were all hiding far away, they took this old and young man as a madman. ”

Speaking of this, Yu Ehime herself laughed first, and the laughter in the audience was not as loud as before, and it could be seen from people's eyes that she was thinking deeply......

It is true that he was advised to eat well. Yu Ehime said, "But if you don't have your own opinions, you're doomed to achieve nothing." Okay, let's talk about something interesting. said that there is such a big family, and this family has a big problem, that is, the cabinet is uneasy and the door is slammed. There was a man nicknamed 'Iron Rooster' who was not convinced and wanted to see how good this family really was. One day, he took scissors and cut a paper chicken on paper and sent it away. The hostess of this family was polite when she saw it, 'Yo, you are so polite, you can come and bring things.' Yes, there's nothing to say to you, so I'll have a drink. As she spoke, she drew a wine glass on the wall with her long nails. The 'Iron Rooster' was half convinced, and said in his heart: It's a dime a drop in the bucket than me, but the chicken I gave is still a piece of paper, and she's good, draw one and it's over. At this time, the man of the family came back, and when he asked what was going on, he was in a hurry, and shouted, 'Why do you want a glass of wine?' After saying that, he stretched out his hand and wiped it against the wall, "It's not familiar, just give him half a cup." ’”

There was another "haha" in the audience.

"When the 'Iron Rooster' saw how rude he was, he knew that they had a child of teachable age who had a plan and offered to come to this house as a teacher. The family hesitated a little when they heard this. The 'Iron Rooster' immediately picked up a pen and wrote on the paper chicken: I came to your mansion to be a gentleman, no fish, no rice, no noodles, no carriages and horses, and I just want to teach the little master well. Then after writing the payment and showing it to them, the two of them were happy when they saw it, and they were worried that they couldn't save the money, so they agreed on the spot. 'Iron Rooster' also asked the man to write his name on this note. The next day, the 'Iron Rooster' came along, and at first sight the breakfast prepared for him was a small piece of pickle gnocchi and a half-pulled nest, and he did not even prepare his saliva. The 'Iron Rooster' was in a hurry, and took the paper chicken to the yamen and sued the two people, saying that they did not act according to the written notes. The two of them went to the court to refute it, explaining that it was written by himself, and he didn't ask for anything, but only to teach the little master well. But the old man of the yamen took the 'iron rooster' and added a note to read it, and they were dumbfounded when they read it. I came to your house to be a gentleman, no fish, no meat, no rice, no noodles, no cars, no horses, just want to teach the little master well. ”

Can there be any unhappy people in the audience? Not only are they happy, but they also applaud.

"Finally, I will tell the big guy about our fast catch, but it's not our country's fast catch, it's a foreign fast catch, it's not a foreign yamen's fast catch, it's a person who is very good at handling cases among the people, called 'Woe Holmes'. He also had a Langzhong named 'Renguo' who helped him. In the early morning of this day, Holmes was looking through a book in China, although he did not know much about our knowledge. As he ate his breakfast, he asked, 'Hey, Holmes, it looks like you like this book so much.' Woe Holmes didn't look up, but looked at the book and said, "This book is really good, but there are too many characters." ’”

She used Holmes's voice more solemnly, and Renguo's voice used it a little older, which was simply vivid.

Renguo finished eating at this time, wiped his mouth and looked at the book cover, which had three words on it. Yu Ehime paused at this point.

"Oh, it's "Water Margin", there are a hundred and eight generals in that book. Someone in the audience speculated.

"Those three words are...... 'hundred', 'family', and 'surname'. ”

The audience was even happier.

"'Ping Pong', three knocks on the door, Renguo went over to watch the door, and a local head catcher walked in with a panicked look. Woe Holmes usually boasted to Renguo about this headcatcher, and when he saw that he came to the love in his heart, he first let Renguo pour a cup to drink. 'Headcatcher, isn't it a good day?'' 'I'm sorry Mr. Holmes, I'm not in the mood to talk to you about the weather today.' At this time, Renguo handed over the drink. Don't be in a hurry, just take a sip before you talk. The catcher obediently took a sip of the contents of the cup, "Can you ask what this is?" "Ah, this is the Chinese tofu brain." I'm sorry, I can't find anything else to drink. Would you like some spicy food?'' Tofu Brain? I learned it last time you came back from China, and I'll try it. As he spoke, Holmes took a sip, "Well, don't you think it's a little bit of a drink?" The head catcher said, "Next time, the tofu will be made thinner, this tofu brain, our aunt who was on the wall made it for me once, and the tofu is tender and fragrant." ''Yes?'' I haven't been able to make tofu thinner, it's really not delicious. "No, if you want to say that this tofu brain tofu is not thin, you really can't drink it, first of all, this soybean...... Hey, no, why did you talk about tofu brains, and why am I here today?'"

Laughter.

"'Oh, I remember, we got a case at dawn, and when we got there, we saw a dead man lying on the ground, and there was no sign of a struggle or being turned over in the house, only a suspicious letter on the ground. I asked Ping to do an autopsy quickly. Do you know Pingyizhi?'Speaking of this, I have to insert a few words, some people have rumored that the great Confucian Pingbo and Heping Yizhi are implicated, in fact, it is not like that at all, at most what happened hundreds of years ago, in fact, if you want to calculate it like that, then the "first knife of the wind and clouds" Li Xunhuan and Li Dazui are still related, everyone said yes? There is also known as the world's 'three sages' Lu Kun Lu's surname is Lu. I also know that there is a donkey meat noodle seller whose surname is also Lu, and once let a woman be blinded, and almost lost the stall, so I want everyone to say that this can be a family? Okay, let's get back to business. "Is that the old gentleman who came to our country after he cheated his death?" "Fake death?" Renguo asked puzzledly, "Why did you cheat death?" Woe Holmes replied, 'First, because he could not heal a man of their country, and he was ashamed.' Second, the death of his wife's family of five has something to do with him, and the most important thing is that he is still afraid of guilt. Headcatcher, you go on. ''You may know that Mr. Ping has a quirk, that is, he does not like to have others present during the autopsy, so we all retreated outside to wait for the results, but not long after, the sound of someone falling to the ground came from the house, and we immediately ran in, and found that Mr. Ping had also suffocated to death, and the letter that had been on the ground was at hand. When we were just getting it out, there was a catcher named Si Xin Yan who didn't know what was going on, his face was flushed, and he began to have difficulty breathing, and he was also holding the letter in his hand, which should have been reading at first, and the final death image was the same as that of the deceased and Mr. Ping. Woe Holmes took a deep puff of the pouch of cigarettes he had brought back from China, but the tobacco was their own, and he was silent for a while before he spoke, 'How is it now?' No one dares to touch the letter again, the house has been sealed. I also had no way to come to you. ''Well, you go back first, and I'll be there.'' ''Thank you so much, sir.'' With that, the headcatcher left. Renguo felt a little uneasy at this time, and looked at Troubles and asked, "Are you going to read that letter?" "I think it's just someone smearing poison on the letterhead, and I remember you told me that some people in the Five Poisons Sect in China used this poisoning method." Only after reading the letter can you know who the real murderer is. ''So how are you going to read that letter?'' 'I have a way.'' ''No, Woe Holmes, please don't read that letter. ''I really want to know the truth. "Is curiosity so motivating for you?" "It's not just curiosity, it's always about giving an account to the deceased." ''I'm still begging you not to do that.'' ''Renguo, don't persuade me anymore, I've already decided.'' "Do you really want to?" well, but can you give me the tofu brain money first?'' "Do you want money?" "But what didn't you pay for?" and I worked hard to make it. But I only took a small sip, and it was the head catcher who really drank it all. "But obviously you asked me to pour a cup of tofu brains for that headcatcher, which is equivalent to your treat." ''But...... Okay, well, I'll give it to you when I finish reading that letter. ''Or give some insurance now.'' ''Oh, I'll give it after reading the letter.'' ''Let's give it now.'' ''Now I have to get there quickly, I've said I'll give it as soon as I read the letter.'' "Then what if it ......" That's it, the two of them came to the outside of the house with a small quarrel all the way for the sake of tofu brains. ”

There were those in the audience who laughed, and there were those who listened carefully.

Before entering the house, Holmes first covered his nose and mouth with two handkerchiefs, and when he was ready, he took out two cloth gloves and put them on, then two leather gloves and put them on, and finally put on two thick cotton gloves, which he could not wear anymore anyway, and his two hands were almost catching up with the big steamed buns. When Woe Holmes walked in cautiously, Renguo tried to persuade him again, but Woe Holmes turned around and said, 'I'll give it'. Renguo didn't say anything, and walked in with him, and saw Trouble squatting down, and with great difficulty, he picked up the letter on the ground that no one dared to touch again, and read it carefully, and read it...... Suddenly, Holmes began to struggle to breathe, and his body fell backwards. Renguo hurriedly stepped forward to support him, shouting his name loudly, 'Woe Holmes!' Woe Amoes, this letter...... The letter ...... ''Woe Holmes!' You can't die! What will I do with my tofu brain money if you die?' Woe Holmes ...... '' And so, Woe Holmes did not escape the fate of the three dead. Later, the letter was carefully put away by Renguo, who had been looking for poison that could make it difficult to breathe for the rest of his life, and had specially consulted the masters of the Five Poisons Sect in Yunnan, China, and the Tang Sect in Shuzhong, and even the people from the Hundred Medicine Sect, but none of them could explain what poison was given to that kind of death. How many years have passed, and Renguo is already an old man with frosty white temples. On this day, he was still looking through some classics written about poison in the study, and because he was reading it so seriously, he didn't even know that his naughty little grandson had come in. As soon as the little grandson entered his grandfather's study, the first thing he did was look up at the tin box on the top of the bookshelf that his grandfather had sternly warned him not to touch. This little grandson has a problem, that is, the more the adults don't let the things they touch, the more mysterious they feel, and curiosity drives him to see what is inside. Then he moved a chair quietly, and on top of it he stacked another stool, and climbed up without daring to make any movement, and stretched out his arm to put the tin box in his hand. Renguo was tired of reading at this time, and wanted to rest for a while, but suddenly felt that there was someone behind him, and when he turned around, he saw his little grandson looking at the letter he had put away that had killed four people, although his little grandson didn't know many words. The death of Woe Holmes immediately came to his mind, and he exclaimed, 'Tofu Brain!' The reason why he gave his little grandson such a name was to remind himself that someone owed money must pay it back as soon as he could. When Renguo was about to rush over and snatch the poisonous letter in Tofu Brain's hand, Tofu Brain raised his head and said a sentence, finally solving the puzzle that had plagued him for most of his life. 'Grandpa, why didn't you read a sentence in this letter?'Well, dare to suffocate to death!'

The laughter and joy in the audience came and went, and they continued to praise Yu Ehime's acting skills, which were witty and solemn, popular and elegant.

When the patriarch was still reminiscing about the last big joke, the more he pondered it, the more coke he became, and one of his clansmen whispered in his ear: "This woman is completely playing tricks, and she doesn't have any real kung fu at all, so it's better to let me go down and shake them well." ”

The patriarch turned his head to look at him, and hesitated for a while, "There are a lot of people here, if you can't do it, you have to stop it quickly, I'll take care of it for you." Did you hear that?"

The man nodded yes and then took the stage.

On the stage, he first untied a rope from his waist and put it on the ground, then took out a flute from his arms, sat down cross-legged and blew it, and the flute made a strange sound.

What happened next surprised everyone present, the rope moved, and jumped up like a snake, as if it were hanging in the air, but there was nothing on the top of the rope, and even if there was anything, it could not hang in the air.

This was not the end, the man stood up and climbed up and down the rope, but the sound of the flute did not stop......

"can do fighting without fighting, it seems that there are only characters like grandpa, others, and only idiots talk about dreams. Sect Leader Jiang muttered to himself.

Suddenly, the eyes of the people present were flowered, as if they had woken up, and then looked, the rope "fell" on the stage, and the person also fell, as if unconscious.

Yu Ehime hurriedly ran over and used the method of "Strange Prescription" in his mind to heal the man who had fallen to the ground and fainted.

The patriarch of the Zaifu almost went to the side of the person with Yu Ehime, and the patriarch knew that the effect of his flute was similar to the "heart control technique", only by making the people present have a slight illusion in front of their eyes, this "fairy rope" stunt can be implemented, presumably it must be that today's people are beyond his imagination, and the skills are not used well but suffer from it, thanks to Yu Ehime knows how to give first aid, otherwise his mind will collapse......