It's late at night, it's quiet, you can't sleep, just write something.

There is no update today, it's not that I can't write something, it's not that I can't think of a plot, or I have an inexplicable emotion. I can't tell if it's irritability, laziness, or confusion. Anyway, I just don't want to open the little black house, I don't want to go to the codeword, and there is a force in my heart that is resisting.

It's been going on for a long, long time, so long that I can't remember, three months, four months, or five months? It's just lately that it's getting worse and worse, so severe that I feel a little bit desperate.

I'm wondering where the problem is.

I didn't think about this problem before, I just browsed the web in a daze, watched videos, read books, and let my time be wasted. Then regret and blame yourself, why did you waste time again, you must update it well tomorrow, write three chapters, write four chapters, write five chapters...... As a result, when I woke up the next day, I still hadn't changed at all.

During the day today, I was wondering what the problem was.

I think that if you don't understand this problem, even if you finish the old book, the new book may not be able to find its back state, which is a very dangerous thing. Why, the state that can't be solved now will be solved by opening a new book. It's like I've always felt that I owe one chapter today, and I can make up for it in three chapters tomorrow. I can't even write two chapters today, why do you think I can write three chapters tomorrow? It's stupid and naïve, and it's really boring to lie to yourself.

So I wondered what was the reason for my current slump.

The first thing that comes to my mind is ambition, probably because I don't have ambition and don't have enough desire for money. My dream was to be able to write a book, good or bad. But now, I can not only write books, but also make money, and my dream has been overfulfilled.

And then what...... What other dreams do you have to become a god? To be honest, deep down I am quite pessimistic about the online literature industry. I think that online literature will definitely continue to develop and progress, and there will be good books, but there will be no real gods. No matter how well you write, no matter how good your grades are, you won't be the next silkworm potato, or you will dream of it.

In addition, I am an easily satisfied person, not ambitious enough, and motivation is hard to find.

What are the reasons other than ambition?

I felt inert and bored, day after day, locked in a small house, writing books alone, and in reality without any friends. It was okay at the beginning, but after more than three years of accumulation, this loneliness has exploded together now, and it is difficult to solve it by personal will.

And then what's left...... Maybe it's also important that I don't know how to finish it. The first time I wrote a book, I really didn't have much experience, and I always thought of where to write, resulting in the end of the year not falling off, no matter how round it was, it didn't feel good, and the end of the book seemed to be far away. Then I fell into a vicious circle, the more I thought about finishing the book, the more I couldn't finish the book, and then the more irritable I became......

I used to write very passionately, and I wrote wonderful chapters, and the whole person will feel enthusiastic, eager to know everyone's evaluation, and want to see everyone praise me. Will deliberately ask people in the group, how is this chapter written...... In fact, I know that I write very well, so I want others to praise it. will post it, secretly look at the evaluation below, and see the praise will also be happy in my heart.

The happiest thing in the past was to watch a movie with peace of mind after eating instant noodles after writing two chapters. Because it's always been like this, if you can't write two chapters, you feel very guilty and you're not happy about anything.

In the past, when I got up every day, I would look at the background data, read the comments of book friends, and read every comment.

It's all faded now, and a lot of things are boring. I feel that there is no expectation in life, tomorrow will still be the same as today, after a month, it will still be like this, and three years later, it will still be like this......

Because that's how I came here, 12 years I was a computer, an empty room, three years later, 16 years now, it hasn't changed much.

When I said the above paragraph, I felt quite hypocritical, and now I am much better than I was three years ago, and I am still not satisfied......

But after thinking about it, if I wasn't so hypocritical, I probably wouldn't be able to write a book, and I wouldn't be able to write Xianwu, so I still have to thank hypocrisy.

I remembered a sentence I once said, the last thing I want to face is the code word, but only in the code word, can I really get a moment of peace.

In the end, it's still hypocritical.

What went wrong, why can't it be updated, why is the state poor...... There are thousands of reasons and excuses, and it is hypocrisy to combine them into two words.

I can't guarantee that I have crossed this hurdle and look back at myself in a few years. I didn't sleep all night, and I wrote this thing stupidly, maybe I would die laughing.

Born in the world, who will not have to work, never feel how special your suffering is, you and I are mortal.

Write to the end...... It became chicken soup for myself again, and I was also drunk. After drying this bowl of chicken soup that you boiled, hurry up and go to sleep, go to bed early and wake up early, and wish yourself a speedy recovery.