Nakshatra xxxi

On August twenty-fourth, it was presided over by Gong Ye and Gong Lichang, the custodian of the "Amazing Star". Pen × fun × Pavilion www. biquge。 info

The stage is set up as a scene in the medical hall, and Dr. Gong is wiping medical instruments such as scalpels.

At this time, there was a member of the "Amazing Star" who pretended to be a patient, "ouch ouch" in his mouth, and came to the stage with his hands on his stomach.

"Oh, my Doctor Gong, please save me quickly, I can't straighten my waist." "Stomach ache? You use sesame sauce and sugar. "Ouch, don't make me happy when it's all like this, hurry up and find some medicine for me." "Seeing you like this, it's not something that can be solved by medicine stones." "What then?" "Disembowel." "Disembowelment? Don't scare me, you don't know that I'm a coward. "Don't worry, I've learned both Chinese and Western medicine, and I have a special disemboweling method." "Special?" "Other doctors have to take numbness to disembowel patients for treatment, I don't need to." "Huh? Go straight to the knife? So where can you stand it? "Don't worry, it won't hurt to keep you." "What if it hurts?" "If it hurts, you can scream, and I will judge how much pain you have from the height of the scream." "What?" "Alright, give me your belly." "Over to you? I'm not worried about leaving it to myself. "You just lie down." "I can't get up when I lie down." "I can't get up to listen to the rooster's crow. Lie down quickly, and we'll be treated right away. "Dr. Gong's mouth is poor enough."

The patient lay down on a table amid bursts of laughter.

Gong Ye untied his clothes and patted him.

"Stop shooting, keep it ripe. Do you buy watermelon? "You can't cure it?" "Ahh Hurry up, it's uncomfortable. "I can use the knife." "You can be lighter, it's not easy for me to save these waters."

Gong Yezhen picked up the shiny scalpel and cut it into the patient's stomach, and the blood flowed down at that time.

The audience screamed in shock......

The patient is still lying there well.

Gong Ye was also calm, took a clean cloth to wipe the blood clean, and took out a baked cake from the patient's stomach.

"You ate dinner too quickly, and you swallowed without chewing." As he spoke, he took a bite, "The fire is big." With that, he put it aside.

There was laughter from the audience.

Then he took a intestine out of the patient's stomach, "Is it yours?" Ah, it's a pig's. Hey, haven't washed it yet. He put it on hold.

"I said, doctor, you've been fiddling with it for a while. What's wrong with me? "What's wrong?" I'm full. "Huh? Am I holding on? Is it okay to take out the indigestible stuff? "No, my stomach is broken, I have to change it." "Another one? What to for? "After years of studying medical skills, I have discovered that some things on animals can be exchanged for humans." "Really?" "Ah, let's say your heart is broken." "Your heart is broken." "Oh, for example, if your heart is sick and can't be used, find a big black wolf's heart and replace it for you. It's like your lungs are also broken, find a big yellow dog for you to replace. It's like if your intestines are bad again, so find a big and replace it for you. You're sick to the stomach this time, I'll find you ......" "Yes, find a big mouse and replace it for me." How good, wolf's heart, dog's lungs, rat's belly, and chicken intestines, I have all made up here. ”

The audience laughed.

"Gee, I'm kidding you, why are you serious. Rest assured, you won't use big rats. "I don't want you to use a big vole." "How do you think I have to use a mouse? Lie down well, you. ”

After speaking, Gong Ye used a knife to "cut" a large piece of the patient's stomach, which was quite square, and then began to touch around, saw a pillow over there, looked at the "belly" in his hand, nodded, changed the pillow, and stuffed it into the patient's body.

"It's a good fit." Gong Li said freely, "Okay, get up." ”

The patient listened to him, got up on the table, and touched his stomach, "Hey, it really doesn't hurt anymore." Dr. Gong's medical skills are really high. See you later. ”

"Hey, don't go." "Yo, what are you stopping me from doing?" "What about the text? You give money. "What money?" "Nonsense, money for medical treatment." "Hey, it's all acquaintances who talk about money and more money. I'll see you another day. ”

The patient smiled evilly and slipped out of the door of the medical hall while Gong Lichang was not paying attention.

"Hey, hey, hey, yes, not only did I not make any money, but I also lost a pillow, and I had to sleep on my 'belly' in the future." Gong Lichang's comical performance was exchanged for bursts of laughter.

After a while, another "shocking" cultist came to the stage with his head covered, "Ouch my Doctor Gong, save me." ”

"What's wrong with you?" "I have a headache. I met the guy who just hit you and left, and said that you can change the things on your body, but if you can't do it, you can change it for me. "So what? Hey, there's a ball in my cupboard, I'll bring it to you. "Huh! No way! Okay, I'm quite big, how can I see people with a bowing head? I was cured. "Don't be cured, then...... I'll give you the head office of acupuncture. "Acupuncture, that's fine." "But I'll have to cover you a little. When you look back, you're scared and trembling, and I'm not allowed to find acupuncture points. "Am I that timid? Yes, a doctor has a habit, just cover it. ”

Gong Lichang asked the patient to sit down, removed the sheets, shook off the head and body like a fisherman casting a net, and then brought over a tray, which was not a needle for acupuncture, but a scary awl, scissors, knives and the like, as well as Emei thorns, all of which were pointed, but none of them looked like they were used for acupuncture.

I saw that he inserted all the contents of the tray into the patient's head one by one, and there was blood flowing out, and when he was done, he asked, "How is it?" It doesn't hurt, it's not a boast, I'm just able to get rid of the disease. Hey, why don't you speak? Hey, are you alright? ”

Gong Ye seemed to be in a hurry, and hurriedly pulled off the sheets, but he was all happy, it turned out that the patient was holding a watermelon for him to insert.

The performance should be over here, and the disciple who played the headache patient was just about to step down and was stopped by Gong Ye.

"Yo, what are you stopping me from doing?" "Why is that all that?" "You also need money for medical treatment." "What do you want? Didn't really give you acupuncture yet? "Huh? Really? ”

After saying that, the disciple ran away.

"Come back, our doctor will completely ......cure the patient's illness," Gong Ye shouted and chased after him.

The applause from the audience was very positive.

It's time for the aliens.

This time, the stage was arranged into a living room, there was a long table, there were tableware on the table, they should be eating, and the color of their hair, eyebrows, and beard was not a serious color, three points were not human-like, and seven points were like demons, which was simply terrifying, and some even thought that they were eating ...... for dinner

At this time, Elder Guangdang Guang of the Extraterrestrial Clan came into play.

"How many masters, do you call me?" "You're a cook, aren't you? We heard you sing while you cook for us, so don't we eat your saliva every day? "Saliva?"

Elder Guang smiled, shook his hand, and somehow conjured a long-legged wax stick, put it steady and shook his hand, conjured a lit candle, and inserted the candle into the wax stick, "I will tell you how many of you will sing or not." With that, he sang to the flame of the candle with his mouth in tune.

As soon as he opened his mouth, he first said, "Ah...... Oh......"

In the second line, he sang, "Ah...... Oh...... ......"

Then he went on to sing: "......Ahh

Elder Guang sang impassionedly, loudly, and with high difficulties, but people couldn't understand it, and they were apprehensive when they heard it.

I could only hear the few people on the stage who were eating covered their ears, "Come on, punish him." ”

The tune was replaced with a fierce and tense one.

Then two more demons came up, one of them grabbed Elder Guang's arm, and escorted Elder Guang into a standing cabinet and locked it, and there was a hole in the door of the standing cabinet to show his face.

One of them took out a broad-bladed sword and stabbed it into the side of the cabinet, and more than one, several in a row.

The people in the audience were surprised, but they were not worried, because Elder Guang had no painful expression on his face at all.

A few of the eaters looked very satisfied, and asked the two of them to turn the cabinet around, and when the rotation was finished, one of them pulled out his sword one by one, and as soon as he opened the door, Elder Guang didn't even have his clothes pierced.

Applause erupted.

"Ah...... Oh......"

"Still singing? Punish him again. ”

The two locked Elder Guang into a box again, put firewood around the box, took the candle flame on the long-legged wax stick and threw it into the firewood and lit it.

One of the people who was eating jumped on the box and jumped three times, "See you're not dead this time?" As he spoke, he laughed demonically, and in the laughter, he turned his back to the audience, but when he turned around again, the applause from the audience became even louder, because it was Elder Guang who turned around.

"How did he get out!"

"Ah...... Oh......" As soon as this sentence came out, the fire was completely extinguished.

"Punish him again."

After the two of them took Elder Guang down again, they released the three jumpers from the box.

At this moment, a large transparent glass box was pushed up, and it was full of water.

"Tie him up to me."

The two of them tied Elder Guang tightly with a sturdy hemp rope, and threw Elder Guang into the large glass box with a lift of their shoulders and feet, and then carried a large bucket of water to replenish all the water that had overflowed from the glass box until it was full.

The box was locked again, and Elder Guang struggled and writhed in the box.

The two of them withdrew a large black cloth and covered the large glass box, and also turned around.

"I told you to sing again. Hahaha...... "A few people who eat around the box are happy, and they are dancing, it seems that they hate to listen to the nervous "Divine Comedy", but at this time......

"Ah...... Oh......" came from the long table.

As soon as a few people turned around to eat, the expressions on their faces were ridiculously surprised, and they quickly pulled down the big black cloth to see that the hemp rope tied to Elder Guang was floating on the water in the big glass box.

“…… Ahh......h Ahh......h Ah......h

"Ah...... I can't stand it......" Except for Elder Guang, who was still immersed in his singing voice, the rest ran away, and the soundtrack has completely catered to this "Divine Comedy".

"This trick of the aristocracy has really changed for the better, it is amazing. The song is not bad, I don't know what the lyrics mean......"" Actually, it's not interesting, you can sing it as you like, there is no fixed lyrics. "I didn't expect Elder Guang to not only play gongs." "Hehe, as the saying goes, this trick doesn't hide the gong. Elder Guang is self-taught. ”