Coming back from the Big Buddha Mountain, there were fewer words between me and Lu Tao, but I didn't take it seriously, because I was used to this state, except for the two of us who had a period of passion before marriage, the relationship after marriage has always been like a separation, like a glass of warm water, no taste and I feel very unquenching when I drink it. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 infoI like to drink hot to hot water or cold to cold water, both of which are refreshing, and I can clearly feel the water flowing down my esophagus, quickly moisturizing every vein in my body, into every inch of my skin, like a trickle into dry farmland.

After a few days of silence, Lu Tao finally found an outlet to confide, a hotline that lasted for several hours. One night, Yang Yang and I had fallen asleep, and we heard Lu Tao, who had come back drunk again, talking on the phone in the living room, and judging from his low and slow speaking speed, he was talking to a woman. The call lasted from eleven o'clock in the evening to two o'clock in the morning, maybe three o'clock, four o'clock, and I don't really know how long it was, because then I fell asleep.

For such a sensitive phone call, I didn't get up immediately to interrogate Lu Tao, because I have always respected the privacy of others, and the same is true for my husband. As if I was worried that the woman on the phone would hear my voice and be reluctant to talk to Lu Tao, my behavior and thoughts were really ridiculous. I think that everyone in the world has the absolute right to do whatever he wants, and whether his actions are moral and legal is only a matter of attitude towards life. Besides, I'm not the kind of person who fights for the wind and is jealous, why fight? As the saying goes, the twisted melon is not sweet, love should be sent by others on the initiative, not something that can be forcibly snatched, when the love goes, you can only sigh that the fate is over, and you don't have to resent the bad heart.

But it's not my style to not mention it at all. The next night, I saw that Lu Tao, who had slept all day, had a clear brain and the alcohol had dissipated, so I found an excuse to touch the phone problem last night. My original intention was to listen to Lu Tao if he wanted to confess, and if he didn't want to say it, I wouldn't ask any more.

"In the morning, there was a call from Shanghai to find you, you were asleep at that time, and I told you that you couldn't wake up. "I lied.

Please don't call me a liar, know that lies are everywhere in this world and are essential. If someone says that he never lies, then his sentence itself is the biggest lie in the world, in fact, for individuals, lies are just a self-defense instinct, whether it is good or malicious.

"Did you answer the phone?" did the other party say anything?" Lu Tao obviously showed a nervous look, and immediately sat up from the sofa.

I talked on the phone all night last night, and then he slept directly on the sofa, and I added a quilt to him in the morning. In this way, the sofa in our house is often used as a bed, sometimes as a guest bed, sometimes as a separate bed, sometimes as a reflection bed, and has many functions.

"The other party didn't say anything, I picked up the phone and didn't ask, the other party called your name, thinking I was you, I told her that you were asleep, she said then don't bother you, and then hung up the phone. I said.

Hearing this, Lu Tao didn't speak again, but lay down again, staring at the small chandelier on the roof of the living room and didn't move. When a person with normal body is stalemate, his thoughts are often turned upside down!

I went to the kitchen to cook, and Yang Yang muttered that I wanted to eat. After the meal was cooked, I served Lu Tao rice, brought it to the coffee table in front of the sofa, watched him get up to eat, and felt that his heart seemed to be calmed down, so I asked again:

"Is it still your co-worker's wife? The last time I called you in Shanghai, it seemed that this was the voice that answered the phone, and you came back and told me that it was the co-worker's wife. ”

Lu Tao was still silent, bowing his head and drinking the mung bean millet porridge I cooked.

After eating, Yang Yang pulled me to the sofa to watch CCTV's "Animal World" with him, I had to squeeze over, Lu Tao leaned back on the corner of the sofa and made some room for our mother and son.

A family of three looking at the animal world, it's a very warm picture, isn't it? Some things really can't be seen on the surface, and your eyes often deceive you.

On the TV screen, a zebra gave birth and gave birth to a baby zebra.

"Yangyang, what kind of animal is this, look for it in your animal combination, quick!" I took Yangyang's animal combination toy and asked Yangyang to find the zebra from it.

"Mom, look, zebra, it's the same as on TV!" Yang Yang quickly picked up the zebra and happily held it up for me to see.

A few days ago, I bought him a set of literacy building blocks, I took the building blocks, let Yang Yang find out the zebra inside, Yang Yang also quickly found out, I painted the zebra pattern on the side, to the side of the text, pointing to the word "zebra" to teach Yang Yang to read: "Zebra!"

"Zebra!" Yang Yang read aloud to me.

"Zebra!"

"Zebra!"

After reading it several times, I put down the building block, took a piece of paper, wrote down the word Banma with a pencil, and asked Yangyang, "What is this?"

I didn't want Yang Yang to shake and said, "I don't know!"

"Look, you little fool, you can't remember a word. Lu Tao on the side spoke.

"He's watching TV, obviously inattentive," I'm excusing my son. I never doubted my son's intelligence, I thought he was just interested in reading and reading.

"Listening to my mother, Yueyue can recognize more than 100 words. Lu Tao seemed to be in a better mood and began to chat with people.

"The child I gave birth to is stupid? I hope you don't say this to Yangyang's face in the future, it will hurt him, but fortunately he can't fully understand it now. However, if you feel sorry, you can also find someone else to have another one, maybe the children in Shanghai are smarter!" I haven't let go of the question just now, I'm not jealous, I just want to find out if my husband is just coming back physically, is it still in Shanghai?

"Don't mention Shanghai, okay? Anyway, I chose you in the end, didn't I come back?" Lu Tao was finally willing to talk about the Shanghai woman.

"Oh, did you make a choice? Was it difficult at the time? and chose me, should I say thank you?" I said. I didn't get angry, but when I heard him say the word "choice", my heart ached, what do you think it feels like for a woman to accept her husband's choice after getting married? But I still can't figure out whether Lu Tao was just emotionally cheating, or whether he was derailed physically and mentally? But it is true that he definitely had other thoughts in Shanghai, no wonder there was no news for a while, and he did not contact me. As for the sudden return later, I don't know if it's because of Yangyang or because of that Shanghai woman, this question is still a mystery.

"Did you choose me or Yangyang?" I asked again.

"Both!" he said.

"It's hard for you. I said again.

"Can you not speak like this? Lu, have you read a book for a few days, and what can I do to make you believe?" Lu Tao was a little unhappy and began to criticize me again.

"I believe in you, I just don't want you to wronged yourself for me, I want that kind of love that is dead, not the kind of love that is paid in order to repay the debt of conscience and to fulfill my responsibilities, I just want to say to you, even if you don't choose me, I won't hate you, I can't force you to love me. ”

"I don't understand what you're saying, I'm too low-level, I don't want to discuss it with you anymore, anyway, I'm such a person, and I'm living honestly with you now, I can only say so much. ”

Lu Tao doesn't like my essay-style words, and I rarely say this, but now I just want to communicate better with him and let him understand my requirements and views on love. I think love should be a kind of attachment, a feeling that you can't live without each other, and love is selfish, even if you pay for love, it is also for self-satisfaction, that is, when you see the person you love happy, you will get great satisfaction in your heart. Therefore, if a person really loves you and loves you deeply, and you want to push him away, he will not leave, because he cannot live without you. Am I asking too much for love? too ideal? too unrealistic? But I really want to get and experience this unforgettable true love, and I don't think I have it yet, because I can be sure that Lu Tao will live a good life without me, very good!

"Live honestly? Then why do you want to make a long-distance call overnight? Our phone bill must be hundreds of yuan this month, and you'd better pay the phone bill tomorrow, or it will be shut down in a few days. "Of course I don't understand, live honestly, why do you have to talk to another woman all night? I don't eat that woman's vinegar, I just want to find out if Lu Tao's heart is with me, if his heart occasionally wanders out, it doesn't matter, if his heart doesn't come back at all, then it's a big problem."

"Oh, aren't you bothered, didn't I get drunk last night?" Lu Tao finally explained everything with a drunk!

Anyway, after a deep exchange with Lu Tao, I still feel a lot more relaxed inside, no matter what the result is, just show my attitude. And, with this exchange, Lu Tao quickly returned to normal, running around every day on the way to collect premiums, settled his salary at the end of the month, and bought Yangyang a children's bicycle, the same as the one Yueyue played. After work, Lu Tao will patiently accompany Yangyang to ride downstairs, just after a few days of practice, Yangyang can remove the auxiliary wheel on the rear wheel and ride independently.

I remember that when I graduated from junior high school, I didn't know how to ride a bicycle or have a bicycle, and I walked to the town five miles away for three years of junior high school to go to school, and it wasn't until I was admitted to the high school in the city that my mother bought me a bicycle. At that time, I only practiced for one summer vacation, and when I first started to ride a bicycle into the city to go to school, I often fell, and every time I fell, when I got up from the ground when I had grown to 1.65 meters, passers-by would cast surprised eyes, as if to say that such a big child still can't ride?

Now that my son is less than three years old, he will not be in the same embarrassment as I am when he grows up.

Looking at Lu Tao's happy expression playing with Yangyang, I thought that the battle of faith between me and him that started from the Big Buddha Mountain was over for the time being, but a phone call from my mother-in-law broke this idea of mine, and my mother-in-law said that my genus and the bride of the little uncle conflicted, I belonged to the chicken, and the people were exempt, and I was restrained with the five elements of others, so on the day of the little uncle's wedding, I couldn't meet the bride, otherwise I would collide with the bride! )