After work in the afternoon, instead of going straight home, I pedaled my bicycle along Xinjian Road and rode east along Xinjian Road, where I was going to the largest department store in the county, east of the city, to buy some laundry utensils such as plastic pots and buckets, which I thought I would need after a while. Pen Fun Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

Xinjian Road is the main street of Taigu County, and it is also the most prosperous street, every rush hour to get to work, here is the interweaving of people and vehicles, the noise is humming, and the road is not smooth. It stands to reason that I should have walked or taken a car on such a crowded street because it was safer, but I rode a bicycle through the traffic regardless of the danger because I felt that the walk was too slow, the buses were too crowded, and the taxis were too expensive.

The bike is my only mode of transportation, and I've been riding it for over a decade and think I'm probably going to ride it until I'm old. I never thought about changing the means of transportation that day, like a car or a plane, never thought about it. Subconsciously, I don't think I'll be able to afford to own a car or an airplane for the rest of my life. In addition, I don't believe that this small county town with narrow streets and backward economy will be able to popularize cars or drop a plane one day. Growing up in a small mountain village, I really didn't have great ambitions and extraordinary imagination, and I even felt that I could work in the county seat and be very satisfied to become a person who received a salary and ate the emperor's grain, at least I didn't have to bend over and turn over those few acres of thin land every day like my parents. So every day as soon as I go out, I ride this red Phoenix brand bicycle on the road. My bicycle is still trendy on the street, and there are not many people on the street who ride my 350 yuan curved beam bicycle, and many people still ride black 28 weighted bicycles. This bicycle was given to me by my mother, and it was married to my in-laws' family with me, and it is also my most valuable family property.

Tens of thousands of people ride out of the town every day, just as there are bicycle races on the streets, and every street is a track. When it's time to commute, the vast procession of bicycles passes through several main streets, and the sight is spectacular. I would be a good rider if I thought of it as a bicycle race, and more than a decade of cycling experience has given me the ability to master the bike, navigate the crowd like a fish, and even if I encounter an obstacle that I can't avoid, I will balance and stop steadily during emergency braking. I've never had an accident riding for a few years.

Every day when I commute to work, I ride my bicycle through the crowd for more than 20 minutes. In fact, this is a very enjoyable process for me, because I like to listen to the cries of selling one after another along the street, and I also like to see different unfamiliar faces coming to me, and it is the most relaxed state in front of strangers. I love the feeling of being submerged in the masses, like hiding in a cornfield, always thinking that others can't see me and I'm peeping into the world.

But today was different, I was noticed before I reached my destination, and it was a large group of people! Here's the thing, in the process of my travel, I almost collided with an older sister on the opposite side, although I had achieved the usual emergency stop steps with my left hand brake, and my left foot touched the ground, but I still did not find a balance point, and I and the bicycle suddenly lost our center of gravity and fell to the ground together in the exclamation of everyone. Luckily, I fell down slowly. When I found that the parking failed, I quickly let go, first threw the bicycle on the ground, and then in the process of my body falling, I hugged my abdomen with my right hand and supported the ground with my left hand, so that my butt could land slowly to minimize the force of the fall. In the end, it was only a little skin on the left palm, and there was no damage to the rest of the body, at least on the surface. But the eldest sister on the other side was scared to cry immediately, and while crying, she explained in a panic to the crowd of onlookers:

"It's not me, it's not me, I didn't hit her!"

The eldest sister may have been too nervous, and she didn't even think that she should help me up first. I was struggling to flip over and get to my knees when two passers-by pulled me up from the ground. It's no wonder that the eldest sister is so nervous and afraid, a person like me suddenly falls, and everyone is afraid of being responsible.

"Ouch, why do you have to ride a bicycle out with such a big belly, and ride so fast!"

"You should get out of the way, or she won't fall, and if something happens, you won't be able to get out of it." ”

Passers-by were gossiping, some blaming me, some blaming the eldest sister.

"I'm fine, you can go. "When I stood up, I patted the dirt off my body and said to the frightened eldest sister completely indifferently.

"Let's let her take you to the hospital for a check-up first. "I was reminded not to let go of the suspects lightly.

"No need to check, I'm really fine. "When the eldest sister heard me say this again, she disappeared into the crowd like a mouse let go by a cat, and did not even say a word of concern to me.

I knew I was responsible, I was riding too fast, otherwise I wouldn't have been in this situation. I have the habit of riding a fast bike, although my mother has reminded me many times, but I just can't change it, so that now I am more than nine months pregnant, and I still ride so fast! Since it is a habit, it often happens unconsciously, usually I can't feel how fast I ride, and even feel that I ride a very leisurely way, along the way, I can't forget to pay attention to which shop on the side of the road is going to be discounted, which shop has changed the signboard, and I can't forget to pay attention to whether the clothes and bags of the ladies on the road have changed new styles and so on. I always wait until there is a sudden emergency brake or someone reminds me afterwards that I realize that I am riding fast again. For example, in today's incident, the moment I held the handbrake, I realized that I was "speeding". For example, once when I first arrived at work, a classmate called me and asked me what had happened, and I said nothing had happened, and she said why did you ride so fast, and you didn't see me when you passed me, and you couldn't hear me call your name.

It's hard to understand that my habit of riding fast bikes stems from my laziness. That's the case, whether I used to go to school or go to work now, I always like to grind in the morning, and I always have to count "one, two, three, four, five, go up the mountain to fight tigers" several times when I get up to make up my mind. After waking up, I also grinded to eat and wash, until I had to run on the road so that I would not be late. In this way, it is strange that I set off at the last moment every day, and I am in a hurry every day, and the cycling speed is not fast. But today my actions are quite risky and extremely irresponsible, because now my body is not only my own, but also the carrier of another person - I should be responsible for the little life in my belly.

Actually, I forgot that I was a pregnant woman today, so I got carried away and went for a ride on the road. Because since I was pregnant, almost no one in my family treated me as a pregnant woman, I did housework every day, commuted to work every day, and never received any special treatment, so I always thought that I was the same as ordinary people.

My mother-in-law and my mom were cold to me, even ignoring my bulging belly, and neither of them ever asked me what my due date was. Because the child was accidentally conceived during the period when Lu Tao and I were preparing for the divorce, my mother did not want me to have another child before the divorce, and she said that it was not good to remarry after taking the child. I said at the time that if I couldn't get married, I wouldn't get married. And my mother-in-law didn't want to see her grandson face the bad luck of his parents divorce as soon as he was born. Both of them had advised me to have an abortion, but I didn't want to have it, and I saw it as intentional homicide. It is comforting that Lu Tao did not mention the miscarriage, from this point of view, he is still a responsible man. Therefore, my pregnancy cannot be regarded as a happy thing for either my mother-in-law or my mother's family.

I believe that my mother loves me, and her deliberate indifference is to make me realize that my decision was wrong after I have suffered it. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, rejected me two months after I got married, and she didn't want to accept a daughter-in-law who couldn't cook. The food I cook often makes Lu Tao unable to swallow. And my mother-in-law's cooking skills can be as good as a first-class chef, she can cook for a month without repeating the same.

The relationship between me and Lu Tao is like a storm, coming and going fast. We fell in love at first sight. But at the beginning, I was resolutely opposed by my mother, who reasoned that Lu Tao did not have a diploma, did not have a stable job, and my life was not guaranteed with him. My mom always wanted me to marry a promising government official. For a long time, the two of us were thinking about how to defeat her! At that time, my mother's tricks were: asking people to introduce me to new boyfriends, restricting my time when I went out, not allowing Lu Tao to come to my house to find me, and so on. The mother even found Lu Tao's mother directly and asked her to control her son and not to hook up with her daughter. I was very angry at what my mother had done, and I fought back: I didn't see every boyfriend she introduced to me, and I often sneaked out to date Lu Tao when she wasn't looking. Later, I simply ran away from home and lived with Lu Tao. At that time, Lu Tao and I were more like two comrades-in-arms, and the two of us seemed to be shouldering a sacred historical mission, that is, we, as young people in the new era, had to fight against the old stubbornness represented by our mother and their old ideas! We had to let our mother know that love cannot be measured by money, and love cannot be bargained! My trick of running away from home was very powerful, and at that time my mother was so frightened that she was looking for me all over the city, and in the end she had to compromise with me and agree to our marriage.

But what I didn't expect was that my married life shattered my dream of love. After the confrontation with my mother, Lu Tao and I began to calm down and examine each other, and soon found that there were many incompatible things between the two of us. Lu Tao's well-organized and uniform military demeanor was incompatible with my casual and lazy and disorganized lifestyle. For example, when I had just cleaned up the house, Lu Tao would always rearrange the items at home, and he would arrange the cups and tea sets on the table and the books on the bookshelves into a queue, from high to low, or from small to large. My bed was as flat and geometric as the dormitory in the barracks. He always said that the more I cleaned up my house, the more messy it became, and it was better not to clean up. As soon as he said that, I went on strike, sometimes without delaying once in two weeks. Another time, when I cooked noodles and brought them to him, he thought I had cooked them and didn't eat them. I was very hurt at the time, and I thought I could cook noodles for him, because when I was at my mother's house, I always stretched out my hand with my mouth open. My mother only let our siblings go to school and not let us work. After marrying into my in-laws' family, I felt like I had become someone else's nanny, and I was a free nanny who didn't get paid. But I couldn't get my mother-in-law's liking like this, and after half a year of marriage, my mother-in-law separated from us. Then, less than a year after getting married, Lu Tao and I decided to divorce.

On the day we were about to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the divorce procedures, Lu Tao's father suddenly fainted, and Lu Tao was busy accompanying his father to see a doctor, so our divorce date had to be postponed. During this period, I found out that my menstrual cycle was abnormal, and I went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor said that I was pregnant, and it was already two months! Lu Tao and I did not separate early like other couples who were about to divorce, but we have been together all the time, because I had nowhere to go, and I didn't have the face to go back to my parents' house to live.

After I became pregnant, the divorce was put on hold for the time being, and Lu Tao and I agreed to give birth to the child first. This is the first time since we got married that we have agreed on one thing. It's just that the two of us have to do is wait, and we don't have a warmer relationship because of the arrival of this little life, on the contrary, we feel worried, we haven't thought about where to place this little life in the future, whether to follow me or follow him? But one thing is for sure, as soon as the child is born, we will divorce!

I did a lot of preparation to welcome the arrival of my little life: I bought a bottle, I bought a small clothes and quilt, I bought a crib, and even a walker. I also found a lot of clothes from my sister that she wore when she was a child, washed them again, and folded them neatly and put them in the closet to be worn by my future daughter.

There were so many signs that I was carrying a girl in my belly. For example, I love spicy food. People often say that sour children are spicy women, and people think that pregnant women who love spicy food are easy to give birth to girls. For example, my pregnant body is bulky, and almost all women who have given birth to a child think that the belly of a daughter is loose and bulky, while the belly of a pregnant son is compact and neat. If you're six months pregnant and people think you're eight months pregnant, you're probably going to have a daughter. Conversely, if you're four months pregnant and people can't tell you're pregnant, you may be getting a son. Later, one of my female colleagues simply took me to meet a well-known old Chinese medicine doctor, and after the old Chinese medicine doctor gave me a pulse, he also said that nine times out of ten I was pregnant with a daughter. Actually, I don't believe these statements, but after hearing too much, I can't help but think about my daughter. So, everything I prepare for my kids is girlish. The girl is good, as the saying goes, the girl is the mother's intimate little padded jacket, and when she grows up, the daughter takes more care of her parents. Besides, when I get divorced, it will be easier for me to take my daughter, and if I give birth to a boy, my in-laws will inevitably compete with me, and the idea of preference for sons over daughters is still deeply ingrained in the minds of most people in China.

This afternoon, it occurred to me that I needed to buy some more laundry supplies, so I went straight to the department store as soon as I got off work. Despite the fact that something went wrong on the way, I went to the market and bought what I was looking for. When I got home, I cooked millet porridge and steamed steamed buns. I have a lot of rice, I can eat two bowls of rice porridge and two steamed buns. Because I've become two people. I ate dinner alone, and Lu Tao didn't come back to eat. I didn't call him, he would be annoyed if he called too much. I think he must have gone to his again.

Lu Tao is not only filial to his mother, but also a complete worship. He believed that every word his mother said was the truth, and he carried out every word of his mother as a holy decree, even though her mother was a woman who had never read a book and could not read a few words. For example, one day when he had a headache, his mother begged for some "holy water" from the temple and brought it back for him to take, and he would drink it all. He didn't care about the safety of the "holy water" at all, in other words, even if it was dangerous, as long as his mother let him drink it, he wouldn't refuse. He regards his mother as more important than his own life, and he doesn't want his mother to be a little sad. He has always faithfully maintained the dignity of his mother's queen, unlike me, who has never heard a word from my mother since I was a child.