"It's already mid-August, and it's only a month before the Tokyo show, and the new season's clothes have already been shipped out of the factory, right? Of course, there are also show models, all of which have been shipped to Tokyo, and I received an email from the show planner, but I haven't replied - I've still read it, don't doubt it," Qiao Yun suddenly jumped and asked, "Fu Zhan, are you worried about me?—— are you worried about me?"

Fu Zhan had been studying her expression closely, his pupils were a little dilated, as if he wanted to take every detail into his eyes, "We're all a little worried about you, but I think you need to be quiet now." ”

"yes, I need to be quiet, such a blow, I definitely don't like people to ask. Qiao Yun laughed self-deprecatingly, "My parents must think the same way, I'm already miserable, it's better to let myself calm down...... I think it's a big blow to me, doesn't it?"

Fu Zhan didn't speak, Qiao Yun looked at him, "Do you think I can't bear such humiliation and want to break up with Qin Wei?"

"I think you need a little time to go back home and take care of your personal affairs. Fu Zhan said softly. "It also takes a little time to recover emotionally. ”

"I think breaking up with Qin Wei will be a terrible blow, don't you?" Qiao Yun asked, smiled again, picked up her phone and flipped through it, she actually missed so many text messages and q.q messages, "Chen Rongrong is still persuading me, telling me not to think about it - she is afraid that I will commit suicide, do you think I will not be able to live without Qin Wei?"

"At least it's not going to be so good. Fu Zhan's tone is very reserved, he always likes to talk to people and hide his true thoughts.

Qiao Yun stared at him for a while, trying to ponder Fu Xian's thoughts, but found that she didn't really care, she was already tired of pondering people's hearts, which was okay as a spice, but it had occupied too much time in her life, and it was too important. "It's definitely not going to be that good, but it's not going to be unbearable. ”

She suddenly became a little serious, "Without one person, you can't live without another, because those who lose someone and end their lives are weak." I can assure you, Fu Zhan, no one has to have another person to live, and no one even has to have another person to live well. ”

"It's one thing to fall out of love, it's another thing to lose your fighting spirit for life because of a broken love, if you mess up the whole of your life because of a broken love, the only person to blame is yourself, and transferring the hatred to others is just anger. She seemed to say to Fu Zhan, and seemed to be muttering to her former self, the interesting thing is that an incident that has happened will be transformed and transformed into a different appearance because of the continuous change of people. "You can be obscure about the world, but at the end of the day, you really can't fool yourself. If I could do it all over again......"

If she could do it all over again, the regret she would choose to make up for was not to be dumped by Qin Wei, not to fail to create her own brand, in all her messy life, the regret she wanted to make up for was not dropping out of Parsons, not breaking up with Qin Wei, not being unable to create her own brand, and having been working under Qingge.

"You know what, David," she said, staring blankly out the window at the fire escape, sirens sounding from far away, dotting the Manhattan night, "If I could go back in time, I wouldn't want to make up for any substantial regrets, I just want to tell my former self that in fact, there are always shortcomings in life, all the choices you make have shaped your life, what kind of person you are, what kind of life you are." All you need to understand is who you are, but nothing else. The real you, in fact, has never changed, just waiting for your own discovery. ”

She dropped out of school at Parsons because she couldn't bear the pressure of schoolwork, because she didn't like to be judged on her designs, and she was told by commercial standards, 'Your design is not good enough for the public,' and the feeling of being looked at was like a piercing cone, and that kind of life made her extremely unhappy, and even doubted the value of her existence. She doesn't like to change herself for the sake of others. This hasn't changed now, the tassel series, the crystal skirt, sells so well, but she doesn't like it at all, she doesn't like the feeling of changing for others.

"I used to think that my design not being able to conquer the public was a failure, that my clothes could not be sold was a failure, that my design was scolded was a failure, that being dumped by my boyfriend was a failure, and that disappointing investors was a failure. But I've come to understand that not being able to live the life I want is a failure, and if I could go back in time, I would like to say to myself at that time......

But in fact, what's the use of going back to the past, these things, after you have them, you will know that they are not important to you, money, power, material and fame, you have to know that this is not what you want. The road that people have traveled in their lives is really not empty, there is really no need to regret it, and all the struggles and pains will be proven to be meaningful at some point in the future.

All the long, little by little struggles that killed her, all the storms that blew and blew her flesh away, all the bloody wounds, if she could see this today, it would be worth it, she didn't need to go back to life again to move forward, she would still be hurt, but she would never know how to live again.

"I don't want to move my design department to New York anymore. She said abruptly, ending the topic directly, "Actually, I don't want to set up a design department at all." "For the September show, I wanted to change all my clothes. I didn't like the original show model at all, I want to change the style I like, and go to the previous Tai Chi series. Qiao Yun thought for a while, and then modified her statement, "Or you can be on them as a side show, but the main series is still Tai Chi." ”

"In the design department, I can recruit the right people in the future, but I don't want to set a timeline for myself. Of course, this will prevent us from expanding our product line, but it will be fine in the short term. ”

"I don't want to please the social circles here in New York, there is no need to spend money on advertising, there are many other ways to promote us. I'm going to make Judy pay, I'm going to make her pay. - When I come back from China, I want to sue her, I have already thought about it, find two reporters to hype up this news, "The ** Deal in the Fashion Industry", it sounds very interesting. ”

"This will make us unable to enter New York Fashion Week for the rest of our lives, but I don't care anymore, New York Fashion Week is like a carrot, I have done a lot of things I don't want to do for it, but I don't want it now, I know, this is the same as 'national brand', 'the first domestic designer', 'the first Asian brand invested by GA', the first million I earned, 10 million and 100 million, it may be able to satisfy many people, but for me, except for a moment of excitement, there is only endless nothingness. ”

"For me, maybe for all designers, the only thing that makes sense is to make the design you want, and the market, the media, all the rest of the people's approval is just icing on the cake. The marketization of designer brands is perhaps the most vicious trick of capital, which makes all designers struggle in the impulse to satisfy others, please others and satisfy themselves. Yes, you have to do too many things against your will for the sake of capital, it is good for the brand, and you are responsible for the investors - but the designer only wants to satisfy himself, and all the art is only the best when it is self-satisfied. ”

"I don't know how to balance the survivors, but I know what happens to unhappy people, who commit suicide, take drugs, and are expelled from the brand they founded," Qiao Yun exhaled, her eyes finally returned to Fu Zhan, "If you want to buy me out, I don't blame you, David, I know this does sound quite selfish, without your help, the brand would not have developed to this point today, but I only want to design my own things, only focus on myself, and refuse to sacrifice for you." ”

"But I'm not going to lie, that's who I am. She said, her eyes began to twinkle, like a rusty knife being slowly polished, "Essentially, I'm not a good person, I only care about myself, I don't have the spirit of sacrifice, I don't really care about your feelings at all, except for the people I like, I don't care what other people think." ”

"You can hate me, buy me out, take [rhyme] away from me, I don't care, I now find that I really don't care, all I want is a very simple life: be with the people I like, do the designs I want, maybe these designs are only a few people, and no one even appreciates them, I don't care about 'tgivea**ing**, I just need to complete the design itself and be satisfied." ”

The significance of this moment is so significant, it is like a kaleidoscope being shattered, the colors of the sky are slowly spliced, her world is finally clear again, Qiao Yun almost sighed with emotion, her question has finally been answered, the endless storm is slowly subsiding, she may not have eaten for a long time, but her tone has never been so firm, every sentence seems to be hidden in the bottom of her heart for a long time, every sentence seems to be rediscovering herself, it is a liberation from bondage.

"Money and power, these things are good of course, and they are good substitutes when you can't find what you're looking for, not too much. For some people they are goals in themselves, maybe some people will be satisfied with these, but for me, they can't replace what I really want, I was deluded by them, I used to think that what I wanted was this, career success, money, social status, so that I could look down on someone's capital. Qiao Yun said, "How lucky I was to find out that what I wanted was not that, and how fortunate that he and I both grew up to understand that these are not the whole of our lives." ”

"I'm going back, I'm going to find Qin Wei and live the life I like again, maybe it won't end well, I will still break up with Qin Wei, my career will fail, and one day I will have nothing and lose everything. Qiao Yun said, she stood up, feeling unprecedented clarity and certainty, relaxed and satisfied, there was never a moment compared to this moment, the anxiety that had never been far away from her, self-doubt, the desire to grasp the whole world in the palm of her hand, at this moment turned into a butterfly in the storm, she was still bloody, still trembling for the terrible vista in the description, but she no longer cowered from this worry, what she could make up for when she returned to the past was precisely the courage of this moment, the only thing she could abandon was not the feelings that made her vulnerable, it was precisely the cowardice of fear of being hurt。 "But I don't care, I don't care, our fear of the ending dictates the whole process, we have to restrain ourselves for the sake of the ending, we have to endure the humiliation of stealing life for the sake of the result. ”

"But it's just a ridiculous paradox, the end will never come, and as long as I enjoy the process, I will live, every day of my life will count, and every day of my life will be truly lived. Qiao Yun said, she stood up and looked at Fu Zhan condescendingly, looking at his posture like a wood carving clay sculpture, blank expression, she had never grabbed his handle, but it didn't matter, from now on she didn't need to live rigorously, she didn't need to take care of other people's feelings everywhere, would she be embarrassed to speak without evidence? Wronging him would hurt Fu Zhan's feelings? To be honest, she really didn't care. "I'm going back now, and you're going to go back with me, and all the plans for this stall in New York will be abandoned. You can hate me, hate me, buy me out - contact Kevin, contact Qingge. But as long as I'm not out of the game, I can only do what I want. ”

"Stop thinking about secretly influencing my decisions, I know you've been doing it. She said, almost deliberately provocative, she no longer needs a group of harmony, and even vaguely hopes that Fu Zhan will turn his face and drive her out, "Don't think about controlling me and influencing me, just leave if you want to, I won't work hard to keep you, if you want to stay, you can only accept the facts - I don't even want to communicate with you, I don't care what you think." All you have to do is choose, either get rid of me, stay in New York, and get Kevin to vote together, or, show up at the airport, and go home with me. ”

She looked at her watch, at eleven o'clock in the evening, there was no ticket back to China tonight anyway. But it doesn't matter, now that she's more positive and energetic than ever, she has a lot to do.

"What time is the plane you bought me? Two o'clock tomorrow afternoon? Very well, that means you have thirteen hours. Qiao Yun opened the door and gestured to Fu Zhan. "The hostel should be right next block, take your time and think it through. ”

She didn't look at Fu Zhan's expression again, as she said, she really didn't care. There are many more important things to do in her life, and she has abandoned everything he represents. Qiao Yunjing began to pack her luggage as soon as she walked into the room, she didn't know how long it took Fu Zhan to accept this sudden change, and of course she didn't know the specific time of his departure.

Half an hour later, she walked out of the bedroom, the door was closed, Qiao Yun shrugged, took out her toiletry bag, swept the toiletries in the bathroom, and at the same time picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Li Zhu, I'm Qiao Yun. After the phone was connected, she reported to herself, "I want you to help me make a statement, preferably today......" 166 Reading Network