Yes, for a literature lover, it is better to let him pick up a thousand dollars than to let him publish an article to make him happy.

In this case, I'm really going to give up completely. However, I gave up for a while, and I felt an inexplicable sense of loss.

Most importantly, whenever I see a touching article or a tear-jerking TV series, or hear a sad song, I can't help but think of literature.

So I picked up the literature book again and read it. Sometimes I even wonder which writer has used which word, and which one I have used, so I want to be on a par with them.

Not only that, but I sometimes think of many things. For example, everyone in Murakami and I who are about the same age are engaged to everyone at home, and whoever is going to get married next year. After all the calculations, I'm left alone.

Am I going to be like my second brother? Whenever I think of this, my heart becomes more irritable, and my personality becomes withdrawn. At this time, people looked down on me even more. Whoever looks down on me, I won't beg anyone.

I was like a stone falling into a pit - smelly and hard. It was the darkest day of my life.

Because I rarely talk every day and am lifeless, the person who writes "good things" often sees me as a bully, and will find fault with some people to go against me. Since then, a feeling of inferiority has arisen in my heart.

It wasn't like that at all when I was in school. I remember when I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I was in junior high school, and because of my good grades, I was held by others, both at home and at school. I'm carefree and love to sing.

How happy I was when I sang my favorite song aloud with my schoolbag on my back as if no one was around! I remember one of my cousin-in-laws once hearing my singing voice and couldn't help but give me a thumbs up: "Good singing, good singing!"

But now, where is my happiness, where is my self-confidence, where is my pride? Where is the sunny Zhang Jianming, who was able to speak at the graduation ceremony and make them admire him in the eyes of his classmates?

I remember when I was just in high school and didn't go to school, two classmates came to please me. One is the red selection. The boy had a chubby baby face and was no taller than a girl. He went to work before finishing his third year of junior high school.

He wrote me a long letter while he was working. The letter said how he admired me and seemed to regard me as a god. Where is he now? Is he much better than me now? Isn't it embarrassing to see him?

During the summer vacation, I was working in the field once when I suddenly heard a girl's voice behind me: "Jianming, give this to you." When I looked back, it turned out to be the "fake girl" Li Fushan. That Li Fushan was an out-and-out "fake girl" when I went to junior high school together.

In addition to not wearing girls' clothes, he has a girl's breath all over his body. When he walked, his hands were like carrying a basin, and his steps were small and broken, as if he was afraid of trampling the ants on the ground. He spoke like a mosquito and wrote words the size of an ant.

Due to his poor grades, he also went home to do farm work before finishing his third year of junior high school. He brought me a postcard that day. When I got it, he was embarrassed to squirm away.

However, I heard that he later became a soldier and was promoted to platoon commander because he helped the company commander wash his clothes in the army. In other words, people are better than me. Why are you embarrassed to meet people?

What else do I have now but those who can't eat or pay back, who have good grades in school? These may have been flaunted in the past, but they are worthless now. So, what is there to be respectable about yourself in this construction team?

No, no. So, what is left to yourself? There is only low self-esteem, only inner pain.

Although for me, the main mood at that time was low self-esteem and pain. But there are two people who take care of me. One is Lao Zhan, the other is Changqi, and there are Yunhua and so on. It was because of them that I continued to work there no matter how uncomfortable and painful it was.

Time flies, and winter is here in the blink of an eye. It was much colder in Beijing than it is now. As soon as winter begins, it's bitterly cold. When it comes to the winter solstice, it will be even more difficult to say nine: dripping water into ice.

Every day, we can see the lump of ice piled up under a tap next to the kitchen, which is harder than a stone, as if it has never thawed. The sky was overcast, the clouds were very low, and the old north wind was blowing with a whistle, as if it were about to overturn our shed.

In this case, it is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. The leader of the class called again, the diligent got up first, then called again, hesitated to get up, and finally called again, and the lazy got up. Despite this, there are always people lying under the covers every day for people to take vacations.

Yes, in the middle of winter, getting a person out of the warm bed is simply the cruelest thing in the world. On the contrary, if a person lies in the bed, and his brother or younger brother takes two fritters and eats them in it, it is simply a fairy day.

When I arrived at the construction site, my hand touched the shovel handle as if I had touched an ice cube, and even if I wore gloves, I felt the same. I had no choice, so I rubbed it with both hands, rubbed it warm, and then picked up the shovel to work. Once you get to work, it's not too cold.

However, we need to prepare a thick garment so that we can wear it warmly when we are alive. That said, some people with poor immunity also tend to catch colds, and sometimes they catch colds.

As a result, the whole shed kept chattering. As for being too serious, of course I won't go to work. Our job at that time was still dusting, but each jar of ash had to be filled with the right amount of antifreeze to prevent the house from coming out unstrong.

Read the first book of the novel