Sitting at the computer desk, Liu Chunyan turned on the computer, and there were some words that she couldn't tell even with her closest sister, only resorting to the keyboard and confiding in the pen. A new blank document was created, and Liu Chunyan was going to write a letter to Zhao Gang and to herself, which can be regarded as a silent tribute to ten years of married life.

"Zhao Gang, from the day I married you, I never thought that we would come to this day. It should be said that I don't want to divorce for the sake of my children, but ......

More than ten days have passed, and I am still very sad and crying I don't know how many times. My sleep quality has also suffered, and I often wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep again. I have nothing to be happy about, ten years of marriage failed, three defeats. Fortunately, my poor child doesn't know yet. I'm going to hide it first, and then tell him the truth when he's older.

The home we run together will no longer be in zài, the house is about to be sold, we can divide the money from the sale of the house equally, to be honest, I am quite reluctant to this family. The furniture, the appliances, they are all carefully selected by me, and I like the things I buy, but now they are not mine. I want to buy a new house to live in, decorate, buy furniture and appliances, and daily necessities. Oh my God, I'm going to have a headache! What a big undertaking this is going to be!

I'm not going to tell my parents about my divorce for the time being, I'll have to think about how to announce it. My poor parents, both 60 years old, have to worry about me, an unfilial daughter! I'm ashamed!

I'm in a bad mood, but, not regretful. Probably the fear and confusion of the unpredictable end, I was too tired after all. I need to rest. Write it down casually, it's messy, and it takes a lot of time. I was so tired and had a headache.

If possible, I would like to keep the news of my divorce a long time from it, just because I don't want to face those eyes, whether it be sympathy or ridicule.

When a lot of people ask me why, I can't answer. The reason why I didn't answer was not because I had no reason to choose a divorce rashly, but because I didn't want to tell him all about his wrongs. In any case, no matter how big the hatred is, if you leave, it will be over, so why should I mention it again.

After this time, I have to adjust my feelings, and I don't want to bring my unhappiness to others. I've seen a saying. Say, maybe we are not a happy person ourselves, but we are all happy to get along with happy people, because people have a tendency to be close to happiness; Spending all day with depressed people is a kind of mental delay. So, I'd better keep my tears to myself and my smiling face to others. ”

Writing this, Liu Chunyan looked up at herself in the mirror, her tears flowed all over her face, condensed into a statue with tears, and her expression was gloomy and gloomy.

Scenes from the past come to mind. Ten years ago, when the two first got married, Zhao Gang was still a young man in his early 20s, he had just found a job in Tianya Weekly, and his income was meager, and the two had no money to buy a house, so they had to buy a very small apartment in the suburbs of Haicheng, outside the Fifth Ring Road. It was a 97-year-old house with two bedrooms and one living room, one floor. There is a kitchen with bathroom and a balcony with sealed windows. The original owner moved away, dismantled the locks, dismantled the lights, dismantled the appliances and furniture, and demolished the house to a non-decent, holes, eyes, and garbage everywhere, which was miserable. Liu Chunyan wanted to cry. But she still held back, she didn't want to make Zhao Gang sad. They were silent for a long time without speaking, and finally she said, "Let's move in after renovation." I don't know how many years this has been, and it will be troublesome to renovate and move around in the future. ”

After listening to Liu Chunyan's words, Zhao Gang smiled bitterly: "To be honest, I also want to decorate." However, Chunyan, we really don't have any money, we still have to buy furniture and home appliances, I went to the home appliance mall to see home appliances, I calculated, more than 1,000 refrigerators, more than 1,000 water heaters, more than 1,000 washing machines, more than 1,000 range hoods, and more than 3,000 TVs at worst, not counting computers, furniture, curtains, lamps and other daily necessities......"

Zhao Gang's accounts were calculated very carefully, and after listening to it, Liu Chunyan was even more speechless.

Walking out of the "new house" Zhao Gang and Liu Chunyan wandered the street, Liu Chunyan took Zhao Gang's arm and asked, "Gangzi, do you love me?"

Zhao Gang's appearance at that time, she still remembers, he was stunned, and after a while, he raised his voice and said, "I...... Of course you love you, why should I marry you if I don't love you!"

Zhao Gang's reaction was not what she wanted, she thought that Zhao Gang would take her, like acting in an idol drama, and said softly, "Silly girl, of course I love you!"

Liu Chunyan was a little disappointed, but she didn't think much about it, she had already been attracted by Zhao Gang's appearance and talent, and fell in love with him unreservedly, and didn't even mind that he was just a poor boy whose career was just starting.

During the days when he was preparing to get married, Zhao Gang had been busy with work, and almost all the things at home were Liu Chunyan running before and after, home appliance shopping malls, furniture stores, and daily necessities stores, accompanied by her sister Liu Chunyan, Liu Chunyan had to visit many places a day. Due to the limited budget, she buys everything in the low grade, and only the kitchenware is the best. is married and is going to live together, she has to take good care of Zhao Gang, not only to take care of his people, but also to take care of his stomach.

In order to save money, Zhao Gang and Liu Chunyan did not hold a wedding, and after receiving the marriage certificate, they just found a hotel to set up a few tables, and found family and friends to have a meal, which was so simple that it couldn't be simpler.

Recalling these things, Liu Chunyan was sad for a while, retracted her thoughts, and she continued: "I am about to get divorced, and from now on, my happiness will be my master, and I will no longer be influenced by others." What is love? Love is a knife with the blade facing oneself and the handle of the knife facing others. By handing him this knife, you give him the right to harm you without limits. Then, he watches your wounds bleed. Fish are in the water, and they know whether they are warm or cold.

The other day, I used to stand by the window and imagine if I could be like a big bird that spread its wings and flew out of the windowsill of my house. A few days ago, I even went to see a psychiatrist. Hehe, no one can save me. I'll have to save myself. I don't deny that I'm depressed. However, it is not so much sad about the divorce as it is about nostalgia for a comfortable life. After all, a home for ten years has been added by me bit by bit. Although I don't say that I have everything, it's always very convenient to live, and all of a sudden it has nothing to do with me, and I'm really a little lost emotionally. Actually, everyone is like this, right? They are all greedy for pleasure and afraid of hardship, right? In fact, I am just as weak as a woman in my 90s, just as afraid to face an empty house with nothing, and I have to set up a new home. Like a newly married, he is poor and white, and he has to buy everything from scratch. But what about the mood? Compared with when I got married, these two extremes are so different. I admit that this qiē requires courage. No wonder, no wonder so many couples choose to make do. No wonder there are many couples who look like and are divorced. No wonder some divorced and remarried. It's not so much that they found out that they still love each other after the divorce, I prefer to believe that it was forced by life. Hehe, I always feel lost in life. ”

Sitting in front of the computer and writing these words, Liu Chunyan's fingers had begun to feel cold, and the speed of typing had slowed down significantly, her head and nose were stuffy, her throat hurt, and her body hurt everywhere. Picking up a piece of clothing and draping it on her body, Liu Chunyan continued to crack and type, and in the sound of keyboard tapping, the previous unhappiness was relieved a lot, as if it had been vented at her fingertips.

On the computer desk, the strawberries in the fruit bowl brought her back to 5 years ago. When she was pregnant, she had a big belly and had to go strawberry shopping almost every morning. Not much, buy a pound. At that time, strawberries cost about six or seven yuan a catty, and it was one or two hundred yuan to eat strawberries in January, strawberries were very sweet and full of moisture, all of which were just picked by fruit farmers from the shed in the early morning, and they were very fresh. The strawberries lie in the small bamboo blue of the fruit farmer, the green leaves, the red and red fruits, the color is so attractive. The eldest sister who sells strawberries is familiar with it many years ago, and politely beckons her to try it. After Zhao Wenjun grew teeth, he also liked to eat strawberries very much, he could eat a pound in one go at the age of two or three, sometimes she was busy with housework, he would shout: "Mom, come soon, if you don't come again, I'll finish eating." I've left you a few of the reddest and biggest strawberries!"

Children, who are not sensible, only know that the biggest and reddest strawberries are beautiful, but they don't know that the big strawberries are not as good as the small strawberries. It's big, and the smell must be lighter. This is like her marriage to Zhao Gang. Some people see that he is good, patient and conniving with her. As everyone knows, a few years ago, even when she was pregnant, she was pampering Zhao Gang like a child.

At that time, even if Zhao Gang didn't go to work, Liu Chunyan went to the street to buy vegetables alone. With a hand full of vegetables and a big belly, he had to sit for breakfast, take a newspaper and put it on his bed, so that he could eat breakfast in bed. At that time, she waited on him and felt that she was happy.

After going through so much, Liu Chunyan realized that she had always been a very, very stupid woman, thinking that loving someone was good for him. It's a pity that nowadays, one plus one is no longer equal to two, and her kindness to him does not mean that he will be good to her, or even his minimum respect for her. She finally understands that one-sided love in marriage is not enough. A woman, if she wants to have a slightly satisfactory marriage, in addition to choosing the right person, she must be smart enough and scheming enough.

Thank you Brother Qingling, Brother Poison, Brother Xuehuā, and Brother Superman for their gifts, and thank you to all the subscriptions and votes, An An. I'm so sleepy and tired. O(∩_∩)O haha~(To be continued.)