Chapter 13: Self-deception
The passers-by who didn't go to grab the steamed buns were still chatting leisurely. After a bit of ridicule of the mayor, they focused on the contradictions of several wealthy people in Vortex Town.
Like the mayor doesn't like the deputy mayor, the conflict between the town officials and the rich businessmen over money issues, and so on. In short, there were many things that Zhao Yu had never heard of, and he listened very carefully on the side.
Surprised that there were so many irreconcilable contradictions behind the original group of harmonious dignitaries, Zhao Yu couldn't help but tilt his head.
The group of civilians at the intersection were still snatching steamed buns, and the movement was unusually loud.
Zhao Yu twisted his head from time to time, and with a casual gaze, he suddenly noticed a problem.
Whenever someone throws a steamed bun from the basin, the servant will show a weird smile, as if he is laughing at others. And when the steamed buns are thrown into the air and are about to fall into the civilian pile, those civilians will cooperate with the high jumping body.
Unconsciously, Zhao Yu only felt that the scene at the intersection had changed. It is no longer the rich who reward the poor with steamed buns, but a group of people throwing things at a group of animals. Zhao Yu suddenly felt a tightness in his chest, he hurriedly shook his head, and the scene in front of him returned to the scene of rewarding steamed buns.
What's going on?" Zhao Yu wondered and decided not to continue to turn his head and wait. He lowered his head and looked at the package that lay on the ground.
This dead Ah Zhai, why do you like to be greedy so much! I have to grab a little steamed bun, Zhao Yu clenched his fists and thought.
After a while, the crowd at the intersection gradually dispersed, which meant that the distribution of steamed buns was over. Zha Hongliang, who had already achieved a lot of results, immediately walked towards Zhao Yu.
Now, Zha Hongliang is happy in his heart, because he has received too many rewards today.
"Zhao Yu, I'm back. Before he could get close to him, Zha Hongliang shouted, "Look at it, I can say that I have a bumper harvest today! Haha! How about it? I have the ability!"
Zhao Yu sighed and looked at Zha Hongliang who came over.
I saw that Zha Hongliang was full of steamed buns in his arms, and he still exuded a trace of heat. It may be that there are so many of them that he can't pick them up with both hands. Zha Hongliang chose to cross his hands and solve the handling in a holding way.
"I said you're exaggerating, aren't you!" Zhao Yu tilted his head and slowly stood up, "You actually took so much." ”
"What's this?
When Zha Hongliang walked in front of Zhao Yu, he pouted at the package on the ground: "Come, Zhao Yu." Help me open the package so I can put the steamed buns. ”
Zhao Yu obeyed the order and pulled the knot of the package apart. As the parcel spreads, it naturally becomes a canvas. Seeing this, Zha Hongliang let go of his hand with confidence, and the steamed buns that he was holding in his arms also fell on the cloth.
Zhao Yu counted the number at random, and came up with as many as eleven. There were so many that he couldn't help but bulge his chin forward. But thinking about Zha Hongliang's tiger-like body, coupled with the squeeze of the card position that this person worked so hard just now, this amount seems to be reasonable.
Zha Hongliang was still immersed in the joy of getting steamed buns.
"Oh, luck is good today! You can get so many steamed buns by walking a few steps, ah! Luck is really good, luck is really good. He crouched in place, scratching his chin.
Zhao Yu saw that the matter was over, so he put his mind on his package and sword. He didn't want to delay here any longer, after all, it was not too early. But unexpectedly, as soon as he stood up and was put on the sword, Zha Hongliang stuffed a steamed bun on the cloth into Zhao Yu's hand.
"Come, Zhao Yu. You take a few too. ”
Zhao Yu saw that there was suddenly an extra steamed bun in his hand, and he shook his arm in a daze.
"Ah...... No...... Why did you give me one all of a sudden?"
"Take a few! There are eleven of them here, and I can't eat them. ”
"Then give it to your family!"
"They can't eat that much. Once the steamed bun has been left for a long time, it will also become hard. It's better to let others eat it than this!" As he spoke, Zha Hongliang kept picking up steamed buns from the canvas and was about to stuff them into Zhao Yu's hands.
"Yes. Eleven in total. You can take five, and I'll take six!" Zha Hongliang muttered as he stuffed steamed buns.
Feeling that his hands were about to be unable to catch it, Zhao Yu quickly pressed his elbow against his friend.
"Wait, Azha. I really don't need to. You took all the effort to grab this, and you shouldn't give it to me. ”
"Oh, why are you so polite with me?" Zha Hongliang showed a dissatisfied look. After that, he suddenly glared at him seriously, "What? Do you think five is too little? Do you want to take them all?"
"Oh! no...... I just ......"
"Okay, I'll take it for you!" Zha Hongliang regained his smile, "Give it to your mother, she is tired enough to do farm work." ”
As soon as he heard the word 'mother', Zhao Yu's resistance was much smaller. After Zha Hongliang's repeated requests, Zhao Yu reluctantly accepted
"Okay!, thank you then. ”
Looking down at the four steamed buns he was already holding in his hand, Zhao Yu felt a little warm from the bottom of his heart. But just when Zha Hongliang was about to hand over another steamed bun, Zhao Yu suddenly took a step back, and he handed Zha Hongliang a steamed bun.
"I'll only need three, and you can take the rest yourself. ”
"What are you doing, don't you say it in half?"
"No, my mom and I can eat three. ”
"You don't think three for a big man is enough!"
"Enough. Ah Zhai, my family is really enough for three people, and I usually eat very little. ”
"But your mother ......"
"You also have family, you should also give your family more food. ”
Seeing Zhao Yu say this, Zha Hongliang scratched his head embarrassedly. "Oh, yes! but...... I can't eat eight steamed buns at home, so you can take one more!"
"No, I really don't need to. There are only two people in my family, but there are five in yours. You still have two younger sisters to take care of, how can you take more of them! Besides, this steamed bun is indeed from you, so you should take more. ”
Hearing this, Zha Hongliang said 'um' in a falling tone. "If you hadn't taken care of things for me, I wouldn't have been so willing to rob them. So you still have the credit, right?"
"Then I'll take three. The other eight are all yours, isn't it just right?" Zhao Yu said and lit up the three steamed buns in his hand.
Mr. Cha seems to have accepted the suggestion. However, he suddenly twisted his body quickly. "Oh! I said you're a man! you don't do anything, you're girly. Isn't it just a few steamed buns? Can you use it so clearly? What's the difference between three and five? ”
Even if Zha Hongliang squatted down again to sort out the package, he still spat out 'unhappiness' in his mouth: "It's really boring to be with you." ”
When he finished sorting out the package, he quickly carried the sword to his body.
"Alright, let's go!"
Zhao Yu had also stuffed the steamed buns into his clothes. The two laughed at each other and headed home together.
Because of the episode just now, it's really not too early now. Zhao Yu looked at the sun that was about to set, and his pace was much faster than before.
However, when he first walked to the crossroads, Zhao Yu still looked back at the residence of Councilor Li's family. sighed again that this home is really big and comfortable, and his heart sank to the trough.
Returning to the original trajectory of returning home, the two resumed their usual adjacency.
Zha Hongliang clapped his hands from time to time as he walked, and then opened them as if he was holding something. He was still overjoyed to get so many steamed buns.
But Zhao Yu's mood was a little heavy. For some reason, the scene of people throwing food on one side and dogs squeezing and snatching each other on the other side resurfaced. knew that it was an illusion, but Zhao Yu was unforgettable.
"What are you doing, you seem to be very unhappy? What's wrong with you?"
After walking a few streets, Zha Hongliang discovered Zhao Yu's vision.
Zhao Yu didn't answer the question immediately, but just let out a deep sigh from his nostrils from the bottom of his heart.
"What's wrong, that's ......" may not be able to find the right words, Zha Hongliang frowned and shook his head. It was really indescribable, so he gave up, "It is said that you should be happy to get so many steamed buns! Why are you like this?"
With a deep sigh, Zhao Yu glanced at Zha Hongliang quickly. "Ah, sometimes I feel that the world is really unfair. ”
"What's wrong with you?" Zha Hongliang's tone seemed to be mixed with a smile, "Why have you been thinking about this kind of question!"
Zhao Yu slowly raised his head and looked at the sky that was almost dusk. Instead of a clear blue ocean, it turned a dark red like a burning maple leaf.
Zhao Yu said everything he had thought before, including the illusion of 'people throwing food on one side, and dogs squeezing and snatching each other on the other side'.
After hearing this, Zha Hongliang suddenly snorted forward: "Why are you thinking about these things again? Do you keep thinking about it meaningful? Can you change anything? Besides, I made it very clear to you in the trial ground before. The world is just not fair. ”
Zhao Yu pursed his lips lightly, choosing to raise his head as high as possible: "Yes! This world is unfair!" After he gradually flattened the direction of his head, he added, "But...... What the rich don't want, we poor people hold like a treasure. ”
Speaking of this, Zhao Yu touched his chest. There is a prominent spot here, which is the steamed bun he stuffed into his clothes.
"Alas, you don't have to say it so badly! Steamed buns are not something that people don't want, but if they have good things in their families, they should be rewarded to us. ”
"When it comes to their family, I feel that the world is unfair and unfair. ”
"Oh, why do you say that?"
As soon as Zha Hongliang asked the question, he felt that something was wrong. He quickly looked around, his mouth suddenly opening wide.
"Hey! Zhao Yu. We're on the wrong track!" he looked back at a fork in the road he had just passed.
Zhao Yu also realized the mistake. They were so immersed in the conversation that they forgot where they should have turned, and chose to walk straight in the wrong direction ahead.
Helpless, the two had to quickly turn around and walk back to the direction of the three-way crossing.
Returning to the right path, Zha Hongliang began to ask again what he was going to ask just now.
"Why? Why do you think the world is very unfair when you hear about the situation in other people's homes?"
Zhao Yu turned his head and looked at the street on his left. "That councillor has a daughter who was only twenty-five years old when she was admitted to the title of intermediate doctor. ”
"What? Twenty-five?"
should have been shocked by the age of 'twenty-five', Zha Hongliang took a deep breath, saying that at this age, it is estimated that he has just gotten married and had children.
Zha Hongliang didn't exhale his breath quickly. In this way, his body seemed to be filled with air, and some of it was swollen.
"Yes, I heard from the other residents. Ah, think about it. The physician intermediate level is already remarkable, and he is still so young. God knows what this councilor's daughter will achieve in the future. ”
Zha Hongliang was silent for a few seconds, then nodded slightly. "yes, yes! Sometimes I really don't understand how these people get through the intermediate exams, why can't we even do the beginners?"
"I've thought about it too. But...... I think there's a deeper reason!"
"Oh, what is it?" Zha Hongliang poked his head towards Zhao Yu.
"I used to think there was a reason for this, and when I heard some of the residents chatting today, I almost knew for sure. Zhao Yu straightened his waist, and his pace became relatively steady, "Ah Zha, think about it! There are only two professions to choose from, and coaching is extremely perfunctory. But the councilor's daughter was different, I heard that her father sent her to Seise Castle for trial. ”
"Qingse City?" Zha Hongliang opened his mouth and gasped, "Is it Qingse City, the capital of our country?"
"That's right! What is the trial environment like in Kiyose City? I don't dare to speculate on anything, but since it is the national capital, the trial resources in it must be very superior! At least it is much better than our Vortex Town. ”
Hearing this, Zha Hongliang's body leaned back slightly, and he immediately came out of a state of sub-meditation.
Zhao Yu knew what this person was thinking, so he continued to speak: "You think! We and that girl can be said to be completely unequal in terms of obtaining the resources for the trial. No matter how hard we work, after being admitted to a junior related profession, what awaits us is just a good meal. But for her, getting an intermediate-level related career is a stepping stone for her to step into the standard of a higher-level person. ”
"Oh?" Zha Hongliang clasped his arms together and muttered to himself, "The goal is different." But......" he quickly lowered his hand and shrugged his shoulders, "this is also a very helpless reality! I have told you many, many times before. This world, called Cellos, has never been fair. I don't know why you, Zhao Yu, must be on the tip of the horns of 'fairness'?"
"I'm not trying to get on the wrong side. I just think there's a reality that makes me even angrier after that. Zhao Yu paused, "You think so." From that girl's point of view, what does she think of the trial resources she has so far?"
Facing Zhao Yu's question, Zha Hongliang slanted his eyes to the upper right corner: "Ah, how do you think of her? How can you ask such a strange question? I'm not her, how can I know how she thinks about it?"
"If we look at it from our point of view, we must feel that trials are very, very unfair because we don't have good trial resources in our hands. Zhao Yu's hands swirled in front of him, "But what if from the perspective of that councillor girl, does she think that the trial is unfair like us, or is it the opposite, she thinks that the trial is a very fair thing." ”
"In other words, would she feel that the reason why she was able to pass the intermediate doctor's assessment at such a young age was not because she had good trial resources in her hands, nor was it because her father could send her to the national capital Qingse City for further study, but because of her own efforts?"
Listening to Zhao Yu finish saying so many words in one go, Zha Hongliang couldn't help but show a look of impress.
This kid has always talked very little in the past, but today there is such an abnormality. Zha Hongliang thought that it was probably the word 'fairness', which really touched a certain nerve of Zhao Yu.
"Maybe! If that girl really wants to think that it is the result of her own efforts, it is normal! After all, everyone is subjective and narrow-minded, who would really look at themselves objectively!" Zha Hongliang shrugged his shoulders again.
"Isn't that self-deception?" Zhao Yu suddenly became excited, "Obviously, I have achieved today's achievements by relying on the trial resources that others can't get, but I want to blame myself for my own efforts." That's abominable, isn't it?"
Zha Hongliang didn't answer, and he looked very helpless.
"I'm not targeting that councillor's daughter. I just think that all the children of rich and noble families will disdain the financial resources and resources they have? They all deceive themselves into believing that everything they can get in the future, such as what intermediate professional titles, is obtained through their own efforts?"
The sky has a tendency to darken, and instead of a fiery red dusk scene, the sky has now turned gray. Fortunately, the sky is not completely dark, which makes people feel like a cloudy day.
"Yes! But what do you think is hateful? The reality is that they can be happier than we are. Even if they don't have to worry about food or clothing, they can still ...... As you say, self-deluded into believing that all of this is a result of one's own efforts. That's the reality! I've said it many, many times. Zhao Yu, don't bother yourself anymore. You can't change anything. ”
"I didn't want to change anything, but I just didn't want to. Zhao Yu unconsciously clenched his fists. He pursed his lips and looked away. He avoided and didn't want to make any more eye contact with Zha Hongliang.
Zha Hongliang also saw this. He scratched his head, shrugging his shoulders and pulling his head.
"Zhao Yu! Not only are you unwilling, but I am also unwilling! I dare to say that everyone in the trial ground is unwilling, but what can we do? We can't change anything. One more point. Zha Hongliang stared at Zhao Yu tightly, "In fact, it is normal for those adults from rich and noble families to want to provide a very superior environment for their children. ”
What? Zhao Yu turned his head suddenly. Then he saw a face that was extremely sad.
Zha Hongliang tilted his head, and the corners of his mouth were being pulled off rapidly, "You might as well think about it." When those rich people have money, they certainly want their children to be as rich as they are. Therefore, they are doing everything possible to provide their children with the best educational environment, so as to ensure that their children can live comfortably in the world of Celos in the future!"
"What about us? Are we just children that no one wants? Won't anyone care about our life or death?"
"Oops! Zhao Yu. The reality is brutal. We have nothing to do with those rich people, and of course they don't care if we live or die! Zha Hongliang suddenly patted Zhao Yu on the shoulder, "You really don't have to think about this anymore, you will only get sadder the more you think about it." ”
Zhao Yu lowered his head, and he could see the tips of his moving toes.
"Okay, let's think of something happy! For example......" Zha Hongliang suddenly jumped up, "We got so many steamed buns today." Look, the fragrant and big steamed buns!" he directly moved the package tray he was carrying to the front of him, and sniffed it, "Look! What a rich man makes! ”
Seeing that Zhao Yu was still a little worried, Zha Hongliang simply pushed him hard, "Okay, don't be sad anymore, laugh happily!" ”
Touched by Zha Hongliang's vitality, Zhao Yu's mood improved a lot. He immediately smiled faintly. But in order to disguise it, he still blocked the lower part of his face with his hand, and his face was also placed elsewhere.
"Yes! People just want to laugh. What are you thinking about things that can't be changed?" Zha Hongliang spread his arms like a roc spreading his wings.
"Ah Zha, you are still optimistic!"
"Optimistic people live a long life!"
Next, they did completely stop the topic of 'fairness', which is enough to make people feel down. After casually chatting about some interesting things at the moment, they came to a fork in the road.
This is where the two of them should be separated. Zhao Yu should go to the left, and Zha Hongliang is the other side.
They waved to each other and said 'goodbye', and the two parted.