"If I wasn't a writer, I'd be a lonely girl. ”

"The more I write, the more I don't exist. I can't get out, I'm lost in the text. ”

"Love does not exist, there is only passion between men and women, it is absolutely inappropriate to find comfort in love, even pitiful, but I think that if there is no love in life, there is no place for love in the heart, there is no place for expectation, it is unimaginable. ”

"The truest thing between husband and wife is betrayal. ”

"If a woman has sex with only one man for the rest of her life, it is because she doesn't like to have sex. ”

Whenever he reads these deviant quotes of Marguerite Duras, and whenever he reads Duras's simple and vague quotes, Pingo secretly resolves that when he goes to France one day, when he arrives in Paris, he must visit Duras's former home and cemetery.

To say that Pingo walking through the streets of Paris is like strolling through an open-air museum.

Roadside buildings, more than a hundred years old, abound. And the green grass and moss such as wall creepers on street corners or walls are like enchanting palace maids, which can involve countless appalling changes of dynasty.

Each street sign is like a sign of a cultural exhibition hall, pasted with all kinds of prominent names. When you memorize the names of Paris, you are reading a history textbook.

In Paris, Pingo went to Boulevard Hugo in the 16th arrondissement, rue Balzac in the 8th arrondissement, Voltaire, and Diderot stations...... Even when you walk into the small streets and alleys, you can escape and lean out, and you will be swept away by the famous person's name.

For example, across the street from the Élysée Palace, there is a path across the street, and a glance at the street signs: Ho, Duras Road.

At the Montparnasse cemetery.

In the not-so-large park, the famous moss-covered and dull slate cemetery carved with the letters "M D" is long gone, replaced by a brand new tomb cover, surrounded by potted plants, which looks fresh and vibrant.

The style of the cemetery is the same as that of the joint tomb of Sartre and Beauvoir not far away, flat and ordinary, but a tombstone is missing.

ON THE LID OF THE TOMB, THE REASON FOR THE REBUILDING OF THE CEMETERY CAN BE FOUND - YANN ANDREA, 1952-2014.

Yes, it was this "Jan", the last lover of Duras.

It was him, three months after the centenary of Marguerite Duras's birth, that Duras's last lover, Jan André, died, 18 years after Duras's death.

The same funeral took place in the church of Saint-Germain-des-Prés, and Jan André was subsequently buried together in the crypt of Duras, whose name is inscribed beneath Duras, just like the relationship between the two of them: the latter's life is completely controlled by the former, but can never be freed.

This pair of inexplicable relationships once made Pingguo very puzzling and admirable.

Walk past the church of Saint-Germain-des-Prés, just opposite the Café de l'Auço, and the small square in front of the church is crowded with noisy tourists all day long.

After feeling the atmosphere of Casso and Hemingway at the Café Shuangsuo, Pingguo pays attention to the French sign on the wall of 5 rue Saint-Benot next door, which reads: The writer Marguerite Duras (1914-1996) lived in this apartment from 1942 to 1996.

Duras, the eternal charm.

Ping Guo sighed and told Ping Hanhan:

"You know, my mother just loves to read her books, all of her books, I buy them all and read them over and over again. Of course, I also admire her life, because her life is full of a relentless pursuit of love, freedom and dignity, an indescribable high refinement.

For example, her masterpiece "The Sound of the Piano" takes the 41,000-word novella as a long one, and uses 23 strokes to express the twilight and sunset in France.

The crying piano sound, with a pleasant voice, accompanied by the setting sun, interprets an impossible love, an extreme, pure, and longing for the emotions of men and women.

It shows a kind of boredom and emptiness of contemporary life, the suffering of communication between people, the silent waiting in a daze, no goal, no love, or even no desire, the mental nerves that are about to erupt in crisis, and the atmosphere of death that follows you like a shadow.

The situation of "borrowing other people's wine glasses and pouring your own blocks" makes love seem to be the only way to get absolute love and crazy love in death.

In fact, this kind of love is eternal and impossible.

Desperate love, under the pen of a female writer with absolutely clear mind and calm mind, has become a swan song - under the control of reason, the concise text describes all kinds of things that reason does not understand.

It hurts my heart, and the artistic conception is long, like a transposed middle board, like a song on the board. ”

Ping Hanhan stared into her mother's eyes and said with a smile: "Okay, let's go after Duras!

Pinggo knew that after Duras returned to France at the age of eighteen, in addition to spending time in his father's hometown, he basically only had three residences, among which in Paris was at 5 rue Saint-Benoit in the 6th arrondissement of Paris.

Pingguo's mother and daughter finally came here.

Embedded above the gate is a memorial plaque placed by the City of Paris in 2011, which reads: Writer Marguerite Duras, who lived in this building from 1942 to 1996.

On the left side of the fourth floor, the wooden white shutters are closed. It is said that this room, which has witnessed countless events, has long ceased to belong to Duras. After her death, the apartment, which had been rented out for more than half a century, was asked to be taken back by the landlord. Jean Mascoro, the son of Duras, wanted to keep it and turn it into a place of remembrance, but abandoned it because it was too difficult.

Rue Saint-Benoit is short and narrow, at the southern junction with Avenue Saint-Germain, near the old church of Saint-Germain-des-Pre, and that triangle is the famous "Saint-Germain-des-Prey circle": the Café de Flora, the Café Doug, and across the street there is the old tavern Rip, which in the mid-20th century was a meeting place for Parisian intellectuals on the Left Bank.

Downstairs from her house, across the street is a small restaurant called "Petit Saint-Benoit", which is said to be Duras's favorite restaurant. Home-style taste, a century-old shop, with a wall written that opened in 1901. There are all kinds of old pictures hanging in the restaurant, and of course there are Duras's, but now the waiters only enter the restaurant after her death.

In 1943, it was in this room that a girl named Marguerite Donaddieu, who had returned to Paris from the French overseas territory of Indochina, had finished law school and finally published her first book, The Cheeky Man. She signed a pen name on the cover page, and from then on, she became "Marguerite Duras".

"Duras" is the name of a small town in her father's hometown of Lot-et-Garonne.

After her father's death, she returned to Duras with her mother and two older brothers for two years. It is said that the old estate, called Platier, was still her father's property at the time.

In "The Cheeky Man," she repeatedly depicts the scenery around the manor from the perspective of the heroine, Maude, and the small train that passes through Bordeaux.

Adolescent Duras was very beautiful and charming, just like she was in college, a magnet for her circle of friends.

In front of this window bar on the fourth floor of Saint-Benoit 5, she left many photographs of her face, which was not yet "devastated" at that time, a pair of eyes, faces, and waist that fascinated everyone.

From 1942 to 1996, Duras was the only one in this room, but in the last two years of his life, Duras returned to his original residence at 5 Rue Sainte-Benoit, the starting point of his writing.

Duras sat in front of the window on the fourth floor, and Jan Andrea wrote down every word she said. "I'm a savage and desperate writer," she said. ”

Yes, Duras is like that, wildly turning sincere and true life considerations into a kind of catharsis, expressed in beautiful, lonely and bewitching words.

Walking into the café and asking for a cup of original coffee, Ping Hanhan said:

"Mom, I'm going to explain the other two dwellings in Duras, because we don't have time to find them, but I know what Mommy is fun about, and I've prepared my lessons beforehand.

Fort Neufleur. It was the place where Duras wrote when he was most lonely.

Château de Neuflève is part of the Yvelines department in the Paris region and is a small town with only one main road. Drive out of Paris and take the A12 in the direction of Versailles, all the way to apple blossom trees and rape fields, and when I have my own car, I will definitely take you to visit.

It is said that there are two large houses at the intersection, the one on the left. The neighbors never saw her walking down the street during the day, but sometimes they saw her out late at night.

Duras's property, which he purchased at his own expense, is about 400 square meters. This neighborhood is the oldest, originally a local farm with a hundred-year-old pond. One side of the house faces the main road leading to Paris, and the dense vines - ivy and grapevine trunks clinging to every door and window, although it is a crossing, because of these vines, the old house still seems quiet and private, and has a sense of isolation from the outside world.

It is said that Duras decided to buy it at the first second he walked through the door and paid cash.

The house is a lonely place, but there is a street in front of it, a square, a very old pond and the school in the village. When the pond froze, the kids came to skate, so I couldn't work. These children, I will go with them. Duras wrote in his book.

"I finally have a house to hide and write. ”

"It soothed all the pains of my childhood. When I bought it, I knew immediately that it was something important to me, something that was decisive. For myself and my children, this is the first time in my life. ”

Duras took care of the soothing house. She never discarded even the flowers she put on display, and let them dry forever in the vase.

For many years, she was curious about the house, and she always wanted to know everything about her "ex", such as whether there had ever been a writer like her who lived here.

Mom, isn't that interesting?"

Pingguo said: "It's so interesting, go on." ”

Ping Hanhan continued: "This third residence is in Truville. It's called Black Rock Apartments.

The name Jan Andrea, which began to appear in Trouville, has never been forgotten ever since. ’

This is when Duras's Summer of '80 was published, and she inscribed on the title page: Dedicated to Jan Andrea.

The young lover, as Duras's third, was henceforth filled with this twilight love of Duras in Truville.

It is said that to get here, you need to leave Paris for 4 hours, and when you are close to the Atlantic coastline, you can sail into the seaside town of Normandy.

Across the river Türk, the casino city of Deauville on the other side is always lit up at night, and most of the Parisian celebrities have their holiday homes on that side.

In contrast, while Troville also has casinos, the tone of the city is much older. The town hall is surrounded by the city center, with a long street by the sea, several old restaurants, cafes and a seafood market. Further on, you will find the flat, wide beach of Trouville.

After Duras stays in the Black Rock apartment, he is drunk, lonely, restless, and restless, until finally his lover Jan appears.

Once the Black Rock Inn, halfway up the steep slope at the northeast corner of the beach, it was connected to the beach by dozens of wide steps. It is said that a plaque has been erected next to the staircase and is named "The Ladder of Duras".

At that time, Duras also used the manuscript fee to buy a large suite on the far right side of the second floor facing the sea, through the window, you can see the 'endless sea and the boundless sand', 'people walking around in the changing light'.

At that time, Duras mostly stayed in the big house of Neufleurburg and wrote in the summer, but after the summer of 1980, she came to Truville more and more, and spread out the twilight love, which Duras called 'terrible and noble love'.

In 1981, Duras began filming "Atlanticman" in the lobby of the Black Rock apartment, this time using Jan as the protagonist.

But, in fact, when the film is shown on the screen, it is always pitch black, and there is only a voice directing the man Jan "plays".

Slowly describing the slow changes of men, telling about what happened not so long ago also here: the exodus of the characters, the fear of Duras, everything is mixed up. The most typical embodiment of Duras's heart.

Indeed, in reality, Jan also keeps running away.

He confessed to Durastan that it was impossible for him to physically love a woman.

Superstitious about her ability to remodel, Duras wants to challenge reality one more time, but she fails, and Jan runs away and stays up all night to go on a date with a pretty boy at a seaside bar.

She can only decide instead to create Jan as a "work", into one of her many characters.

Mom, you say, isn't this woman too egoistic, too strong, too wild! But her writing is so simple and charming!"

Pingguo also smiled and said, "It is estimated that two-thirds of the people in the world who love literature love to read her! ”

Pingguo knows that the French female writer Marguerite Duras is one of the most charismatic and individual female writers of the 20th century, the most famous contemporary French female writer, playwright and film artist, the proud female writer of contemporary French culture, the female leader who leads world literature into the popular readership, the artist who is rich in legendary life experience, shocking and rebellious character, and colorful love, and one of the outstanding writers who has received the most international translation and research among contemporary writers.

His representative works include: "The Sound of the Piano", "Half Past Ten on a Summer Night", "Love in Hiroshima", "The Afternoon of Monsieur Ondesma", "The Robbery of Lao'er", "Lover", "Writing" and more than 40 and more than 10 plays. Among them, the exotic "Lover", published in 1984, won the Prix Goncourt that year, and has been translated into more than 40 languages, and has sold more than 2.5 million copies to date, making Duras the most famous French-language writer in the world today.

"Love" is the main theme of Duras's work, and due to the author's personal experience, her texts often focus on "exoticism" set in foreign countries.

Pinggo has made a comparative analysis of Duras's work: man and woman, love and sexuality, East and West.

Duras rejects the myth of masculinity through the feminized male, and focuses on depicting the active resistance of the active woman to the existing norms and the control of her own body, which also highlights the profound essence and subjective power of women.

Duras's text also emphasizes the state of love and estrangement between the sexes, which cannot be communicated verbally, the separation of love and sexuality.

This has led to the traditional romantic sexual discourse giving way to the modern casual sexual discourse, and the marginalization of exotic and exotic men and women in the "love story".

Duras's Lover is an autobiographical work about the deep and hopeless love story between a poor French girl and a wealthy Chinese young master. With the author's unique brushstrokes, a crazy and desperate love tragedy is rendered, which is mixed with endless sighs, sorrows, and deep affection, so that the tide of emotions is precipitated in the depths of memory, which is moving and thought-provoking to read.

In this film lies the infinite passion of Duras's life.

It was under the traction of her memories that Pingguo entered her distant emotional space, enjoyed the exotic customs, endured the heaviness of life, and remembered the despair of love.

"I've had a desire to drink a good wine myself, and I've known it before, like everyone else, but it's been a good thing. It's like the lustful desire I had for a long time. Duras's tragic sentence makes Pingguo, who is immersed in it, feel as if he is in the waves of the sea full of vicissitudes, and his naked and beautiful body is completely hollowed out, leaving only a silent heart, quietly savoring the paleness of life.