103. It's hard to give up

Yao Xiaoling didn't go out, she was guarding Shandan, and after a while, she reached up and touched Shandan's forehead, sweat on her head, and she was sweating profusely when she touched her body, she thought that this time the cold might get better faster, and she wouldn't burn up if she sweated.

In fact, it was cold medicine and antipyretic medicine that played a role, Shandan sweated a lot, and when she woke up, it was already evening, Yao Xiaoling saw that Shandan slept sweetly, and the fever had subsided, so she didn't ask her to get up for lunch.

Helped Shandan make a bowl of instant noodles, Shandan also supported his crumbling body and finished washing, and he also felt his stomach "growling". After barely finishing a bowl of instant noodles, she went back to bed, feeling tired and tired like she had never felt before. There is no clear concept of where her mind is blurred, she just wants to go to sleep with a blank head. In her dreams, she was able to let go of a heavy yoke and breathe easily.

But the dream she had just had had made her uncomfortable.

The same dream had been repeated several times, and she was in a small space, with only a small window that could not accommodate her, and she wanted to escape from it. But the only window that could escape couldn't pass through anyway, and she was stuck in it and couldn't move, and a flurry of panic hit her, and she was shocked into a cold sweat, and woke up from her nightmare.

There is also a dream that often haunts her, the structure of a courtyard, in the dream I feel that I am a person from the east wing, a family of seven or eight people huddled on a big kang, but none of them know who it is, they know that they are a member of this family. Outside, there was a chaotic sound, like a frightened refugee in the center of the war, but it was clear that it felt like it was in its own home, while the restless and dangerous signals outside were tightly bound to the heart, and every time I woke up in fear.

Then there is an underground passage, empty, no one appears, and I seem to be floating in the air alone, without a place, feeling utterly lonely and afraid.

These dreams have always appeared in turn, it is said that Shandan has not seen what the underground passage looks like, what he has seen is only the hiding tunnel dug in the village in the early days of liberation in order to avoid the attack of the imaginary enemy, but it is completely different from the first-level lime steps in the dream. There are also courtyard houses that have never appeared in life, how can you dream of the courtyard gate that opens to the west, the tall main house, the low but neat south room and the east wing?

Shandan lay on the bed, recalling the scene in her dream, which she believed must be an unlost fragment of her previous life.

A day has passed, and Gu Haiping has not appeared again, which makes Shandan feel a little unhappy in his heart, he should come to see if she is getting better, isn't it?

But until she fell into a deep sleep again, and the person she was expecting to see did not appear, which made her feel a little resentful.

Gu Haiping returned to his hut alone, and regret filled his whole heart. How could he do this to her? She was so weak, so single-minded, so cherished this emotion, but he hurt her because of his suspicions, and now her illness was born for him. Would this hurt ruin so many years of waiting?" he began to worry.

There was nothing in the first place, it was him—if he lost this feeling—he also lost it himself, and he couldn't complain about Shandan.

He sat like this all the time, and the floodgates of memory opened: he remembered every scene they had spent.

He remembered her handsome face when she first stood in front of the hut, and the lovely dimples that appeared when she smiled, he remembered the worry she had waited late into the night because of his late return, he remembered the unspeakable reluctance in her eyes when he was gone, he remembered the effort she had given to repay him against her will, and he remembered all her good ...... Four years! They waited for this day with such pity. And yet he had hurt her mercilessly! He had torn apart this long-awaited day, and what face did he have to go to her again?

Gu Haiping spent a miserable day without eating or drinking in self-blame, and when darkness came, Gu Haiping gradually realized that a day had passed. He didn't have the face to see Shandan and her sisters in the dormitory, remembering the time when Yao Xiaoling stabbed the window paper, he once swore to love and protect Shandan for the rest of his life, and to take care of her all his life.

Now, Shandan didn't say anything, although Yao Xiaoling didn't react strongly, but the attitude of other people made him feel even inferior, and he even thought that he was not qualified to be loved by her anymore.

He hoped that Shandan would decide whether he would stay or not, he would no longer ask her for her forgiveness, if she forgave him, he would redouble his care and cherish this feeling, and if she would no longer want to stay with him, then he would not resent it, and he was to blame.

On the third day after being drenched by the torrential rain, Shandan could barely support her body and lost a few pounds, and now she may not even have 80 pounds, so thin that her hip bone cut her skin hurt and she couldn't lie down, her height of 160 was only 80 pounds.

She got up early in the morning, her head was still groggy, she forced herself to eat a little, she slowly walked towards the bus stop, she couldn't rest assured of him, she knew his temperament, he was such a focused and infatuated person, it was her deliberate snub that hurt him, made him lose his mind, she couldn't wait to see him, she couldn't let go of him, she couldn't let go of this feeling.

As the bus creaked to its destination, she stepped out of the bus holding on to the guardrail, closing her eyes and adjusting to the dazzling autumn sun. When she opened her eyes, she saw a tired, pale but extremely excited face. He sat on a small bench at the bus stop where she got off, and looked at her as she got off the bus in a daze, like a frozen statue. It was just the expression on his face and the bloodshot but piercing eyes that showed his joy at seeing her.

She squinted at him, her head still dizzy and shaky. He staggered to his feet and hugged her, a pool of hot tears welling up into her collar, and they hugged each other tightly, as if they had been reunited after a long time!

Shandan rubbed his hand against the back of this thin and boyish man, what could she give him? a drag, a burden, but how could a full of single-minded love be killed?

Looking at his numb legs and feet, she knew that he must have been waiting for her here for a long time! She leaned weakly on him and said, "Are you stupid? Sit here and wait for me, what if I don't come?"

"I'll just keep waiting, I won't eat or drink until you show up!" Gu Haiping looked childish and stubborn.

"When did you come here to sit? Look at you!" Seeing that Gu Haiping was only wearing a thin white shirt and a body of air conditioning, Shandan blamed.

When she came, she still wanted to reason with him, and she also wanted to crusade against his unreasonableness and ruthlessness, but now she is more distressed and unbearable.

"I'll be waiting for you here before dawn, and I know you'll come. I know you won't leave me alone, will you?" Gu Haiping whispered in Shandan's ear. The people who came to wait for the bus looked at the pair of people with tears but joy.

Shandan pushed Gu Haiping to signal people's eyes, and Gu Haiping's clenched hands tightened even tighter: "Let them see!"

"You're going to crush me! you're crushing my bones!" Shandan shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!hehehe!" Gu Haiping let go of his arm, took Shandan's hand, and picked up the small bench casually.

"Hehe, are you going to fight for a long time? Shandan looked at the small stool in Gu Haiping's hand and teased.

"Yes, I'm going to wait for you from dawn to dark!" Gu Haiping's face was sincere and full of interest, but it was difficult to hide his haggard and tired.

The two held hands and interlocked their fingers, and secretly decided in each other's hearts: they will never be separated from each other in this life!

Love is like this, a word, a look, a hug, a heart comprehension, and the rain has passed.