Dear Comrade Political Commissar (Note (1)),

I'm sorry!

I know it's too late to say that. Pen~fun~Ge www.biquge.info I don't ask for your forgiveness, but please let me apologize to you. Along the way, my conscience condemned myself, especially after seeing you turn your face around in the car. Now you probably don't have a good impression of me, think I'm a timid person. However, I hope you will read this email to the end. Even though you can no longer be friends, even though you may already know everything, I want to tell you what I experienced in those two days. Otherwise, I would really blame myself for the rest of my life.

On the night of the 29th, as soon as I returned to my lodgings, I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, I found that it was a magazine reporter - it was my compatriot. He said that he was a war correspondent who had come from Japan, and said that he wanted to interview me and then have an interview in the magazine. I was very happy and felt a sense of kinship about meeting my compatriots here. So I started chatting with him, and I told him everything I had seen and heard since I arrived in Taiwan, especially with a special mention of you (although the other party seemed to be more interested in what your soldier was doing) - I didn't want to make you angry anymore, but I really didn't have a good impression of the PLA commissar until I met you. I originally thought that you should be the kind of people who stand at the forefront and shoot those soldiers who dare not charge, but it was only after I actually came into contact with you that I changed my opinion. However, the reporter disagreed with me, and thought that you were just pretending to be like this in front of me in order to gain my sympathy, and that you might have other purposes for me. He uttered a lot of speculation based on my account. Although I also refuted him, ...... His speculation really makes me suspicious of you. After this, two Taiwanese came to him, and he said to me, "Welcome me to the door of your barracks the next morning, and he will reveal your true colors," and then left in a hurry.

I didn't sleep at all that night. I don't know if you've cheated on me, and it pains me. So, early the next morning, as soon as it was dawn, I got up and rushed to the gate of your barracks without even eating. I didn't dare to get too close, though, because if I did, the guards would recognize me, and I was afraid...... Worried that they will call you out. I didn't know what to do with you at that time. So I found a more secluded place to hide. After that, more and more people gathered at the entrance of the barracks, and there was even a group of people who set up cameras, giving people the feeling of wanting to film. Then they began to shout slogans and storm the barracks. Then I saw you. At that time, my heart suddenly hung in the air, and I wondered if you would actually give the order for the soldiers to shoot as the reporter said. After waiting for a while, and finding out that you just asked the soldiers to stop the people from entering the barracks, and didn't even fire a gun to demonstrate, my heart gradually relaxed, and I began to laugh at the self who didn't trust you......

Then, a gunshot rang out in front of me.

I was stunned by the noise. I saw that the Taiwanese man in front of me raised his pistol and killed several people at once. I was about to call out when I saw the officer standing next to you jump down and stop him. Then I saw another Taiwanese raise his gun and aim it at the officer's back -- that person was one of the Taiwanese who had come to the reporter yesterday.

I immediately rushed out to stop him, but I was halfway through when you shot him off. However, when I heard the familiar sound of the gunshot, I suddenly felt dizzy, and when I looked back, I don't know why, your figure overlapped with the dead soldier. I subconsciously ran away. I beg you to believe me, I'm not really going with those people and trying to run away after discovering the revelations!

I ran back to my lodgings and sat down in a chair to calm myself down. But as soon as I had finished brewing a cup of coffee, there was a knock on the door again. I opened the door and found that it was the same reporter from yesterday, but he had a pistol in his hand. He threatened me not to tell what I had seen, otherwise it would be treason. I couldn't have imagined that everything that happened that day was actually planned by my motherland!

He told me that once this news leaks out, your Chinese intelligence agencies will soon find out the truth, and then you will definitely use this lever to make a big fuss. Originally, because of this war, Sino-Japanese relations have already become ossified, and if this kind of thing is revealed, it is very likely that China's next war target will be Japan, and I will be the main culprit in the war (Note (2)......

I don't know what to do. I am a scientist and my mission is to pursue the truth. So, in an objective manner, I should tell the truth. However, this matter involves my motherland and ...... My hometown.

When you came to ask me about my safety, I suddenly felt so hypocritical and brazen. I'm not a coward, there are a lot of old diehards in academia who have attacked me, and there are even people who are jealous of me who curse me with vicious language, but I survived. But let me be a coward on this subject, and ask brazenly again: Please don't make this public, okay?

I knew I was doing contradictory behavior. If I didn't want it to be made public, I shouldn't have sent this email at all. But I really beg you, as a friend, or at least as a former friend, to listen to my apologies and telling, even if you don't accept it, and not to expose it. After that, I can promise you whatever you ask, really, please!

I love a play called Copenhagen, even though it's a play that many historians have a false name. In it, the author devised the line for Heisenberg, the great scientist who worked on the Nazi nuclear weapons project: "If a man thinks that if the country has done wrong, he should not love her, it is wrong." Germany is the place where I was born and raised, the place where I grew up, the faces of my childhood, the big hands that lifted me up when I fell, the voices that summoned my courage to support me forward, and the souls that spoke directly to my heart...... My childhood in Munich ended in anarchy and civil war, and will our children go hungry again, as we did? Will they be like me, crawling hand and foot through the enemy blockade on cold winter nights, crawling through the snow under the cover of darkness, just to get something for their families? Will they be like when I was 17 years old, watching over terrified prisoners all night and talking to them all night because they are going to be executed early in the morning?"

I don't want my country to be plunged into war. Even if your PLA is not as brutal as the media advertises, I don't want my country to be plunged into war. In that case, a lot of people I know and don't know will die...... So, really, really, please!

Your former friend,

Yumemi Okazaki

Note (1): I don't know why Yumemi Okazaki used such a strange title, but here we can only understand that the differences caused by culture have caused her to misunderstand what Chinese call each other.

Note (2): It is necessary to complain about Okazaki's own political sensitivities here. Although Sino-Japanese relations were highly tense at the time, they did not reach the point where war was necessary, and the economic exchanges between the two sides, especially the Sino-Japanese cooperative cultural industry chain that was gradually taking shape at that time, provided a full guarantee for this, not to mention that the United States would not easily abandon Japan after losing Taiwan, an important part of the first island chain. Facts have proved that the Chinese government found the email not long after the end of the war in the Taiwan Strait, but it was only because it was worried about affecting Sino-Japanese relations at that time that it was not declassified and made public until today.

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