113. Helpless life

Shandan leaned Gu Haiping's head on his chest, stroked it gently, and persuaded: "Mom is not an unreasonable person, she knows who is right and who is wrong, isn't she?" We are not embarrassing the elderly, it is the elderly who are embarrassing us! You don't have to be sad, I don't want it, if they don't take it out, I don't want it. The days are still long, let's take our time. As long as you feel better, it doesn't matter if I suffer a little. ”

Gu Haiping hugged Shandan tightly, he was deeply overwhelmed by pain.

Shandan thought: What kind of thing can parents do? Can't they see how miserable their son is? How self-reproachful? He blamed himself for not being able to shelter his wife and children! The frustration they gave him was incomparable to any outside blow.

Shandan felt downright sad for Gu Haiping, who had such parents, what a poor child he was! Without loving parents, it is a great misfortune in life.

What kind of childhood and growth experience did the man I love deeply have? Wasn't his sensibility and self-reliance forced by life? Shandan gently wiped away Gu Haiping's tears, and she said, "Get up, don't be sad." Let the past pass, let's walk together on the road to the future, no matter how difficult it is, I will accompany you for a lifetime! ”

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's all my fault that I don't have the ability! Gu Haiping's tears poured out again.

"You don't have to blame yourself, people can't choose their parents, but we can choose our own partner, I will treat you well, wholeheartedly and sincerely, no matter how difficult life is in the future, I will be good to you, and I will not do anything that makes you embarrassed." Shandan helped up Gu Haiping, who was sitting on the ground.

"You check in your luggage tomorrow or send it out from the post office, and ask which is more cost-effective. And the coins and cents we have accumulated are also taken to the bank to exchange into money, it is estimated that there are hundreds of yuan, take all the money we can get, give birth to the child first, and then find a way. Shandan sat down and arranged.

"Well, okay. Don't worry, I'll find a way, if it doesn't work, I'll borrow some from others, you don't have to worry! Gu Haiping washed his face and began to tidy up his things.

"My sister borrowed 1,000 yuan from you and hasn't paid it back, she is also very poor, and she made up 1,000 yuan once she made it up, and I can't help it." Shandan said.

"It's okay, 1,000 won't make a big difference. Besides, didn't your mother and brother take back seven or eight hundred yuan? Let's figure it out ourselves, trust me to do it. Gu Haiping was a little angry.

"Haiping, come over here." Teacher Gu's voice came from outside the window.

Gu Haiping didn't agree, and walked straight to the east room, he still had some resentment towards his father.

"Here, this is 4,500 yuan, I can only give you so much, and there is no rest, what do you think?" Teacher Gu still does not reduce his father's majesty.

"Then ......" Gu Haiping couldn't say anything.

Shandan entered the door and said, "We have money from money, and we don't have money from reason." What I said in the past few days is also the same truth, my son's money is spent, and it is justified. I won't feel sad and aggrieved when you say it's spent, but I'm not happy if you say he didn't get it back! Isn't there a fart after eating bud valley? Don't say it's not good! It's not rough! Isn't that reasonable? ”

Gu Haiping pulled Shandan's sleeve and said, "The money has been taken back, 4,500 yuan." ”

"I know, I don't want the rest of the money, but our words must be clear and thorough, don't agree that we are spending our own money, but in the future we will say that we forced the old man to take out money for us to spend! Today, everyone in the family is here, and we put our words here, and whoever has an opinion is on the table to make it clear. Shandan got rid of Gu Haiping's pull, sat down on the kang and continued.

"No, how can a family have so many reasons to talk about? It's nothing if you spend a little more and I spend less. Teacher Gu pretended to be a generous parent.

"That's not going to work! It is reasonable to spend your own money, you have to look at people's faces when you spend other people's money, I spend my own money, and I don't want the remaining 1190 yuan, but you remember that I spent it for you, don't spend my money and call me a fool! I'm taking the money for myself today. Shandan finished saying this solemnly, and once again scanned everyone with a sharp eye.

The family did not look up or speak as if they had agreed.

Shandan picked up the money on the kang and pulled Gu Haiping's hand and left without looking back.

The next day, Shandan and Gu Haiping packed everything and took it to the train station to check it in. There is also a box of coins that Shandan usually accumulates, which can be exchanged for 260 yuan.

The train on the third day was in the evening, and two people squeezed onto the train with a few large bags of daily necessities and arrived at the sleeper car.

It was the first time for Shandan to ride in a sleeper car, and after getting on the bus, he settled his luggage and went to bed. She couldn't help but feel sad when she recalled the experience of the past few days, and she could not imagine the future situation of such a situation, and there would be no good results. Shandan was taken aback by the idea that came to him!

Looking at Gu Haiping, who was sitting by the window and deep in thought, her heart suddenly twitched! A piercing pain hit her, and she couldn't help but let out an "ah".

Gu Haiping was immersed in his own world, he didn't hear Shandan shouting, he looked out the window with blank eyes for a while.

It's late autumn, the sun is setting, in the warm yellow sunshine, the dark green fields are covered with a piece of gold, the high and low mountains show the depth of life accumulation, and in this late autumn far from home, he once again feels extremely sad.

Thinking about his own efforts and the restrictions and grievances he has suffered over the years, as a man, he has worked so hard to understand and understand the difficulties of his parents, and he has worked so hard to carry the burden for them that should not have been carried by him, poverty can be overcome, but if the character driven crazy by poverty is fatal. And his father, for what? Can you ignore his hardships?

He can only understand it this way: his father thinks that no matter how difficult it is, he is the most capable and most capable one in the family, and he can understand and resolve his grievances, and he also has the ability to get through the difficulties.

"But Father! You should at least discuss with me in advance, everything should be prioritized, the current situation is no longer me, I want to take on a family, I want to be a husband and a father, I am not familiar with the place, how do you tell me to live? Gu Haiping couldn't help muttering to himself, the two thick eyebrows gathered together, and this time he was a little less understanding.

Shandan tossed and turned in the middle bunk, and the heartache was fleeting, but the pain that had never been felt before was so intense as lightning and thunder. She held down her Tanzhong acupoint and rubbed it vigorously to relieve the feeling of pressing her chest like a big stone for a few days, she seemed to be a little out of breath, and her chest was suffocated.

She understands that it is her heart that has not kept up with the changes in her body and environment. The intense mental work of the past few days was far beyond its capacity, and it had never used so much thought on a few occasions so large, and it had been following itself steadily and steadily, and the occasional high-intensity stimulation had overwhelmed it, and now it began to rise vigorously despite her fatigue when she could finally calm down and rest.

Shandan thumped his sternum a few times with a little resentment, and the feeling of squeezing was slightly reduced, and perhaps his heart was like some people who didn't know what to do, and only when they were hit back would they go on a normal and normal path.

She didn't think about anything anymore, she just wanted to get some rest. She's so tired!

The child moved lightly in the belly, and for several days Shandan did not pay attention to the situation of the child in the belly, and the feeling of fetal movement did not pay attention. She was in a state of anger and worry, and the child obediently did not have any problems. At this time, she was a little scared! Why is it so tossed, so painstaking, and so worried? But she didn't pay attention to the safety of the child, and she gave birth to a kind of self-blame.

After thinking about it like this for most of the night, listening to the rhythmic "clang" sound of the wheels and rails colliding, she only squinted for a moment in the early morning.

Hearing Gu Haiping's voice calling her softly, Shandan got up and asked, "Arrived at the station?" ”

"Not yet, how are you? You okay? Gu Haiping asked.

"I'm fine, but I'm still a little sleepy." Shandan replied lazily.

"I hear you toss and turn all night and haven't slept yet, right?" Gu Haiping put his hand on Shandan's forehead and tried it.

"Oh, maybe it's the first time I've spent the night on the train, I'm not used to this 'clang' sound, and I haven't slept well." Shandan patted Gu Haiping's hand and said.

It seems that Gu Haiping has not slept all night, yes! In such a situation, they could not sleep peacefully.

"Then you can sleep a little longer, I'll go wash up and eat something first. I'll fetch water for you to make instant noodles in a while. Gu Haiping took a towel and soap to wash.

Looking at Gu Haiping's thin and resolute back, Shandan felt infinite pity and distress in his heart again and again.

This man! What kind of heart should we have to tolerate the ruthlessness and betrayal of our loved ones? What kind of disappointments and blows do you have to endure to be able to carry his unyielding faith and soul?

She no longer felt sleepy, slowly climbed out of bed, sat by the window, the morning sun had risen outside, a new day was coming, let him pass the past, the future days belonged to him.

The scenery outside the window is different from my hometown, there are many rolling mountains near and far, and the green is more vibrant!