"Otoha, if you are bullied, then you have to pay it back twice, tenfold, and a hundredfold, blindly forbearance and regression will only make those people further bully."

「...」

"People are creatures that blindly follow trends, and if they don't know it's wrong, they'll be proud."

Fu Nuan's words are not wrong, but they do not apply to me.

I didn't choose to do that either.

Looking back now, I chose to back down at that time, and I definitely misjudged the situation at that time.

If I had said it at that time, I probably wouldn't have turned it into what it is now.

"You may be right, but it's too late for me."

"No... Change... It's never too late, bullying is not a one-sided mistake, but a two-sided mistake, and the person being bullied is definitely not innocent, and sometimes, being too weak is also a mistake."

It's not that I'm weak, but I'm misjudging a person... I was misjudged by the level of boredom of a group of people.

And my seemingly unwanted relationships have really caused me a lot of trouble.

In a sense, this is also my mistake, and if I could handle my relationships well, it wouldn't have turned out to be like this.

I admit it's the fault of both parties, but I don't think change is inevitable, not everyone needs to change.

It's a good way to live with the times and go with the flow, but it's definitely the right way.

It is right to have a soul called the self that relies on its own judgment to swim against the current, even if it is painful.

Fu Nuan's change must be to get closer to those people who have been judged by me to be useless.

My mind doesn't change.

"There is no need to change anything that has no value, especially a useless relationship."

"Memories, memories are not something that can be measured by value, as long as you come into contact with others, you will leave good memories, and when you are older, there is no way to live without memories."

"There is no memory in the essential nutrients of man, and memories are part of the personality, and the necessity of existence cannot be denied, but this memory does not need to be beautiful."

"No, we have to have good memories, memories of being bullied, there is no value in existence at all! We have to give up, and in order to give up this part of the memory, we have to fill the void with good memories, otherwise the resentment that has been accumulating like two years ago will suddenly explode, and the consequences will be unimaginable."

"With good memories... Replace bad meetings?"

If you think about it, I have gone through the past 22 years.

The season is a cold winter, and the road is full of thorns.

There is no chance to cry, and if you can't wipe away the blood and tears that have been shed, they will freeze into ice.

This is the life I have lived all the way, a life with nothing left but pain and suffering.

What am I doing this for?

In order to continue to increase their pain?

Even if you keep going, what is the point of continuing to increase the scars?

Being hurt, being hurt, no matter what I choose, my future will only get more and more painful.

——

So why should I continue to live?

——

Having killed so many innocent people in a brutal way, I have long since lost my qualifications as a human being.

Now I am just a beast that can hurt others at any time.

I don't know what an ideal is, I don't have a soul called myself, I'm just a puppet who lives for the sake of living.

And this puppet's life doesn't belong to me, my real life has long been over.

"Na-Fu Nuan, how do you say a person faces his desperate future?"

"Faced with... A desperate future? I can't say for sure what the future holds, no one knows what's going to happen in the next second, and that's why we look forward to a better tomorrow."

"Looking forward to a better future?"

——

Future.

——

It's a word I've never considered.

What will my future hold, what kind of life will I get, how I will work hard to achieve it.

I didn't think about anything that should have been considered a long time ago.

The future is a painful word for me.

Not... Come.... The amount of information needed is too great, and I can't have any self-understanding at the moment.

But this future, which cannot be considered, is indeed a reason to continue to exist.

"What will my future look like... There's no way I can see it."

"Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it's normal to have one or two that they're not good at."

"Is it longer than short?"

I didn't understand what Fu Nuan said.

Do people have to do what they are good at and avoid what they are not good at?

I think as long as it's an individual, no one is good at manual labor.

But they are forced by life to accept what they are not good at.

This is not an evolution, but a sadness.

Even the birds can choose their own life, if they are not as good as the birds, isn't that the qualification to be a human being? Are we, as higher human beings, less free than a bird?

I nodded, not in agreement, but closer to self-deprecation.

"I probably don't have any strengths."

This is not something I said casually, but I have never found anything interested in or particularly strong in my years for so many years.

Fu Nuan had no way to agree with my words.

"As long as a person exists, then there must be a reason for him, and you are the same with Otoba, as long as you want, I will help you."

"You don't need it anymore, and neither do you, don't get close to me anymore."

The troublesome thing has been solved by my way.

Fu Nuan's own good intentions are no longer needed.

I just chose to leave.

——

In the next few days, Fu Nuan also wanted to approach me several times, but I always refused in various ways.

That guy is always unwilling to give up, this kind of stubbornness, and it is also a very troublesome type.

When I got home, I still relied on nutrient injections to maintain my body consumption.

The doctor has seen it many times, and I don't know exactly how many effects, at least for me personally, the annoying hallucinations didn't appear a second time.

According to the doctor, I was not affected by the sudden appearance of hallucinations and doubted everything around me, which is already a very lucky category, many people will go insane because of hallucinations.

Today's doctor still injected me with the nutrient solution, and after talking with me for a while, he went to Lin Han to report his condition.

Isn't that a big problem?

It's going to get better little by little.

That's all I can hope for.

(End of chapter)