Conclusion

Love. Endless

My dearest darling,

That's it for the time being, and that's the end of it. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's not that I don't care about you anymore, it's that I put love in my heart. You are eighteen years old, an adult, a responsible man, and your mother is happy and proud of you from the bottom of her heart.

Maybe you only see from the previous narrative that your mother sometimes blames you for not working hard in your studies, maybe you only see your mother managing you harshly in terms of pocket money, maybe you will blame your mother for not creating better conditions for you, maybe there are many aspects that are not satisfactory to you, but please believe that your mother's love for you will always be wholehearted and never change, and this love will last for a lifetime until the end of your mother's life. When you fall to the ground, your mother rarely helps you up, and she will not ask you to hit the ground like other mothers, not that your mother doesn't feel sorry for you, but that your mother hopes that you can face setbacks strong since you were a child; When you get an injection, I will give you to the nurse and tell you that the injection is to avoid more pain, do you know that the nurses press your head to get the needle and you cry and call for your mother, but I cry next door; When you enter the park, your mother stipulates that you can only drink a bottle of drink and eat a snack, and you can only play one amusement project, and when you are done begging your mother, I hesitated and hesitated in my heart and finally refused, not that I don't want you to have fun, but that my mother wants you to form a consciousness that you must have a trade-off in everything, and you can't have too many desires; When you feed your mother, I will eat it, and when you use the New Year's money to buy a gift for your mother, my mother will accept it, because I want you to know gratitude and express love from an early age; When you tell a lie, I will beat your hand with a small wooden stick, and make you count it yourself, and you will be beaten and retract your hand, and look at your mother with tears in your eyes, and your mother's heart hurts but still makes you stretch out your hand, because she wants you to know that there is a price to pay for doing something wrong; When you and your brother burned out the paint of an uncle in the community, we did not evade responsibility because my brother was older than you, but took you to deal with the whole thing until your uncle was satisfied, because the idea was yours, and you are the little master, we want you to know that you learn to take responsibility; We rarely send you off after you go to school, because we want you to be brave and self-reliant; When you were eight years old, you went to Chengdu Wuguiqiao Passenger Transport Center to buy a ticket from Chengdu to Rongchang, and then looked for the entrance by yourself, and took the car back by yourself, the whole journey was more than 260 kilometers, and your mother's heart hung together, until your grandfather received you and then called your mother to let go of his heart. Risking the great risk that you might be abducted makes you do this, because Mom believes that most people in this society are kind, and you always have to face it, it is better to learn to accept the challenge; When you are eight or nine years old when you finish your homework in your mother's unit every day and then ride home in the night, your mother's heart is like an ant on a hot pot following you through the complicated second ring road, until you come home and call your mother, your mother can do your own thing with peace of mind, because your mother wants you to overcome your timidity and be more courageous; You sometimes argue with your father, I never interrupt you and scold you, and I don't use the authority of parents to order you to obey, because mother wants you to know that only adhering to the truth is the ultimate goal, but the process of pursuing the truth is also a painful and may not be understood—all of this, maybe mother may not do perfectly: for example, when you were a child, you ate too much ham sausage for convenience, which made you form a bad eating habit; For example, if you don't completely correct your study habits at the beginning, you will never be able to find a good study method; For example, at the beginning of the divorce, you are immersed in your own grief and ignore your emotional needs, etc., but please believe that your mother has done her best. Just like your academic performance is not ideal, you are already perfect in your mother's heart. Maybe you will take some detours on the road of life in the future, and you will walk harder, but it is possible that you will increase the experience that others do not have, and enjoy the more beautiful scenery of life?

A few years ago, the mother of one of your classmates once said something like this to me: "Hanlin is too sensible in our eyes, why do you still blame him for his studies?" Learning isn't all there is to life, so why can't you see the good in your own children? "What a bystander! These words made me feel like I was empowered, like waking up from a dream. Yes, why does your mother blindly magnify your shortcomings and ignore your most precious qualities? Since then, I've really looked closely at you, and I've looked at myself. I have educated you for eighteen years, I have been educated by you, and I am growing up with you. Thank you so much, baby, admire you so much! Thank you for being my son, for being the most precious gift in my mother's life, for allowing me to nurture you and nurture you, and for allowing me to fully appreciate the hardships and greatness of being a mother; Thank you for turning me from a very withdrawn and very indifferent woman into a loving and passionate mother in my heart, so that I can have the courage to go through the ups and downs of life; Thank you for always being with your mother and warming your mother. I admire you, I admire you for having a kind heart that is considerate of the weak from childhood to adulthood, and I admire your mother who has an open-minded mind and often accommodates her bad temper; I admire that you get along well with both fathers and treat them equally; I admire you for never being scheming and narrow-minded; Of course, what I admire most about you is your always optimistic attitude towards life.

My favorite baby, you're eighteen years old. What a brilliant age, what a proud smile, what a confident gaze, what a brilliant scenery, all this will be described by you, told by you, painted by you! Mom will no longer hold the pen, no longer conceive, no longer plan your life, Mom will sit next to you and be the most patient listener, Mom will stand beside you and be the quietest appreciator. The stage of this life is handed over to you, and your mother will take off the costume of the protagonist and you will star in the next show. If the content of your performance requires it, your mother can give you a narration and dance for you, but your mother will stand in an unnoticed corner and will definitely not possess your aura. My child, the stage of this life is too big and gorgeous, I believe that you will be attracted by its charm, I believe that you will perform with all your might, and I believe that you will bloom your most unique and wonderful self in the center of the stage!

Mom is going to die, are you ready?

The curtain is on, and your life show is about to begin!

October 25, 2016