Although the wound on the abdomen did not look so terrible when I was discharged from the hospital, I was bleeding again after a bumpy ride. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Because the wound was so deep, my mother rushed to take me out of the hospital just by looking at the surface of the healing, but ignored the recovery of the wound inside.

Now I was so guilty that I went to the hospital and opened my stomach again.

In just two months, I experienced several disemboweling experiences.

I became gloomy and less talkative, and spent my days in a hospital bed, having the same nightmares as I always had.

I dreamed that I was in the sea of swords and fire, I dreamed that I was killing people like hemp, and I dreamed that I drank human blood and ate human flesh.

Only I can't see Li Jiayu in my dream, I guess she hates me, hates me for rejecting her and not going with her, so she never enters my dream.

This time I came back to the hospital, and the third grandfather also came to visit me, while I was asleep.

Later, I sobered up, because I didn't talk much for a long time, but my mother became a chatterbox, and told me a lot of things, including the surprise on the face that the third grandfather couldn't hide when he came to see me that day, and the ecstasy after the surprise, and then the sadness after the ecstasy.

In short, in the end, the third grandfather walked out with a complicated expression.

My voice became a little hoarse because I didn't talk much for a long time, and I asked my mother, "Why." ”

My mom shook her head in confusion and said she didn't know either.

Then I stopped talking, and although I was curious, I felt that there was always a breath in my chest, which made me feel depressed.

Li Jiayu's case was on CCTV news, and the news headline was: A fifteen-year-old girl with a knife killed one and injured three.

Although I feel very inauthentic, I am still a little lucky.

I know, Qi and Yanni are fine, so that's fine.

This incident caused a sensation in our whole province, and I have the impression that it was one of the few open discussions on the topic of "homosexuality" among the masses of the people at that time.

What I can't accept is that almost one-sidedly they are condemning "homosexuality", saying that "homosexuality" is a disease and a mental illness, and it is precisely because Li Jiayu has "mental illness" that he will go crazy and kill people.

And I don't know what's going on, things have developed beyond my imagination, I don't know where they heard about it, what happened turned out to be like this: Li Jiayu and Qi competed for a girl, causing the two to have a knot all the time, and the girl, that is, me, swayed half-heartedly, and after being punished by the head teacher, she was ready to cut off Li Jiayu and turned into the arms of Qi, which led to Li Jiayu's mental breakdown and murder.

I became what Chifu refers to as "intersex."

Although the police did a good job of keeping it secret, my personal information was leaked, including Qi and Yanni, plus my homeroom teacher.

All our information and contact information have been disseminated online and made public by some "righteous people" in the name of "doxing" social scourge.

Because it was also the National Day at that time, everyone was on holiday, and this matter was widely publicized, not only reporters from all walks of life tirelessly squatting at the entrance of the hospital, but also doctors dressed up as doctors who tried to sneak into my ward, and even some people formed an "anti-Lu Li" team on the Internet to come to my small county town to arrest me.

My third grandfather's strength alone is getting weaker and weaker, and there is no way for my mother to call the police.

There are also many relatives and friends who call to "care" about me. Hehe, it's better to gossip about me.

My mom confiscated my phone, and she and my dad changed their phone numbers, picked me up and discharged me from the hospital, locked the door, and hid like a plane crash.

My dad took annual leave and sat at the door all day looking at the cat's eye and observing the outside.

Now that I think about it, I am very grateful to my parents for their unwavering care and deep love for me, and for their wholehearted protection over the years.

My dad was half white during that time, when he was in his thirties, and in just a few days he went from full black hair to gray hair.

My mom has rheumatoid arthritis, and she can't get out of bed because of the pain, but during that time, in order to take care of me, she was so painful that her fingers were deformed.

My third grandfather also got up early and guarded me at the entrance of the building in the dark in order to protect my family from being disturbed during that time.

My mother wouldn't let me watch TV, for fear that any more news would stimulate me, and I was at home all day except for eating and sleeping, and if there was only consolation, it was the shelter of my relatives.

During that time, looking at my parents, the tired figures of the third grandfather and grandmother, I once wanted to commit suicide.

But Chenxi's bright smiling face made me survive, and during that time, in order to take care of me, Chenxi lived in my house, and when my mother couldn't get out of bed, she took care of me, cooked for me, washed my hair and wiped my body, and told me jokes.

At night, I would often fall asleep on the side of my bed tired before she had time to lie down, and whenever she fell asleep, my tears would burst.

My relatives have done so much to protect me, and if I leave like this, I will be sorry for them, and I am determined to get better.

There will always be a day when the news becomes old news, the world is so big, strange things emerge one after another, and soon my affairs are replaced by other "shocking" news one after another, and those reporters who threaten to only report "facts" finally lose patience and gradually leave our small county.

The tension in our family gradually eased, my mom was able to go to the street to buy groceries, and my dad was getting ready to go to work.

However, the public opinion left by those people I didn't know in the past is like a hot soldering iron imprint, which has always lingered in my heart, lingering and painful.

Although my parents gradually had smiles on their faces, those irresponsible remarks were like a "shadowless sword", stabbing us physically and mentally, and the scars were difficult to heal, and after all, they hurt our whole family.

That's the kind of online violence that I really experienced.

Internet violence is like this, in the Internet era, no one can escape other people's gossip, those rumors are half-true, let the lies take root in the word of mouth, and then a series of online violent language followed, and the participating netizens seemed to stand on the moral high ground, verbally and even physically insulted the parties, thus causing great psychological trauma to the parties, and these Internet mobs, after scolding to boring, slapped their butts, and flew away.

It has been said that online violence is like an invisible fist that brings harm to many victims while the attackers go unpunished.

Many years later, I often see large-scale online violence on the Internet, and whenever I want to speak, I think of myself back then, and I am also a victim of online violence in the early days, so now I mostly disdain the rumors on the Internet and scoff at those who are "very scary".

Did you see that? Did you hear that? Do you really feel it? Do you rely on your own fantasies to attack others? Can you be held accountable for your own "thoughtful and terrifying" remarks?

But there is always a kind of people, the purpose of their existence is to bring pain to others, and when they see the painful things of others, they want to publicize the storm, everyone knows about it, and enjoys it.

But what can be done?

The only way to do this is to keep your original intention.

Fortunately, I survived, but others in this incident were not as lucky as I was.

After recuperating at home for half a year, my father worked normally, and my mother's health gradually improved, and she discussed with me that she and my father planned to have a second child during the Chinese New Year.

Of course, I don't have a problem, I think it's good to have multiple brothers or sisters, and in case something happens to me in the future, it turns out that I already foresaw my future back then.

Anyway, I support my mother having a second child.

Strange to say, the wound on my stomach healed very quickly, and it took more than a month to see that it was better, but my mother was afraid that something would go wrong again, so she didn't let me get out of bed, and she lay down for another month before she began to let me go out and walk around.

Fortunately, we live in a family home, and I moved in early, and many uncles, aunts, grandparents, and grandparents watched me grow up, knowing that my temperament is definitely not what is said on the Internet, and they still greet me with warmth and never mention what happened at the beginning.

My third grandfather began to teach me some practical skills for self-defense, and under the careful teaching of the third grandfather, I will soon be able to sneak up on my dad, my dad also served as a soldier and learned sanda, but most of what he learned was a fancy warrior, which could only strengthen the body, and it was practical and did not have much function.

It is estimated that it is because of the relationship that I have been with my third grandfather for a long time, and my temper has become more and more like my third grandfather, who is in a hurry and wants to do it if he doesn't agree with him.

During that period, the third grandfather also began to teach me meditation, as well as some small skills that I had heard from the story before, such as how to open the yin eyes, how to "throw chopsticks and ask the immortals", how to distinguish whether others are really rushing, how to distinguish the authenticity of the horse immortals, and some simple knowledge, what is the "three elements and nine fortunes", what is the "flying star method", and what the acquired innate diagrams are all about, my third grandfather told me over and over again, and taught me to practice it myself.

Although I have always been interested in these things, I asked my third grandfather before but he never refused to teach me, and now why did he suddenly teach me, I asked him.

And every time my third grandfather was melancholy, he replied: "The third grandfather is old, but the Lu family's hall can't be inherited by no one." ”

I asked him, "Didn't Grandpa say that he would have to close the hall again?" ”

My third grandfather looked at me and sighed: "I don't want to, but you ......" The third grandfather looked at me distressedly and couldn't speak.

I asked, "What's wrong with me?" ”

The third grandfather shook his head and said to me: "You will know soon, but the third grandfather hopes that this hall will not be passed on from your generation onwards." ”

I nodded, although I was still confused, but when I saw the third grandfather's tearful eyes, I couldn't bear to ask anymore.

I seem to be born with a talent for this, and I almost learn what my third grandfather taught me, only when I memorize knowledge, I struggled a little, in fact, I used to have a good brain, and since this incident, I have become forgetful, but I have gradually memorized the knowledge stored in my mind.

Towards the end of the year, everyone was happy, and my business was left behind me as if it never existed.

But I was never the same person I used to be.

I deeply realized the hot and cold state of the world, and my mind became more sensitive and suspicious, and I was very irritable, extremely distrustful of others, and even when I bought food, I always wondered if it was a shortage of catties.

Although the matter has passed, there are still people pointing at me and whispering during the New Year's greetings, by the way, my hearing has also become unusually good after the accident, in fact, not only hearing, in addition to the brain, my physical fitness, including various senses, I think it is twice as good as before.

I heard them discussing whether I was the "intersex" heroine on the Internet, and without saying a word, I picked up a brick from the ground and walked up to them, and I would nostril at them and ask viciously, "What are you talking about?" ”

Later, I became more and more fond of this simple and crude solution.

The gentleman does not move his mouth.