I got a text message from Roman while I was packing my things, and she asked me to go to the café for a chat.

After packing my things, I closed the door and went to Roman's appointment.

In a coffee shop in X County, Roman and I sat facing each other, and it had been an hour since we entered the coffee shop, and we didn't say a word.

It wasn't until the coffee in the cup was changed three times that Roman sighed and asked, "When is the car?" ”

Hearing Roman's inquiry, I smiled lightly, picked up the cup of black coffee, and took a sip gently, the bitter taste spread in my mouth, stimulating my taste buds and making me a little more sober.

These days, because of Lefan's affairs, I haven't rested well, and I'm always drowsy. After sitting quietly like this for a while, the original anxious mood seemed to calm down a little.

"It's seven o'clock this afternoon." I replied softly.

After a long silence, Roman asked, "What are your plans for the future?" ”

I took another sip of bitter coffee, and after a pause, said, "I have already contacted the county people's hospital in X County, and I will return to work in X County in a week." I have already agreed with Chen Ruihao, and this time I will go back to hand over the affairs over there. ”

After a pause, he continued: "I promised Le Fan to help her take care of Father You and Mother You, and if I promised, I would do it, right?" ”

Roman sighed lightly, and then said, "Actually, you don't have to do this, I can help take care of Father You and Mother You." ”

I shook my head slightly, "Roman, I have adoptive parents, and I know that I should be filial to them, but my adoptive parents are not the only daughter of mine. I also made it clear to them that they were all very supportive of my choice. Lefan and I, how to say, she is not only a friend to me, but also my relatives more often. Maybe many people will find it strange, obviously Lefan can be regarded as my rival in love, but I can't be jealous of her at all. Moreover, I am not afraid of what people think of me, in Le Fan, sometimes I can even feel more warmth than the affection given by my adoptive parents. ”

Roman looked down at her coffee cup and smiled slightly: "She is a person, she doesn't have many friends, but people who know her will not have a bad impression of her." She rarely has deep friendships, and I feel lucky to be a true friend with her. ”

Roman's sudden exclamation also made me feel deeply.

In my cognition, Le Fan is strong and optimistic.

In fact, sometimes it is not as brave as she appears, but she can still grit her teeth to achieve her goal in fear.

I admire her for being so persistent, but I also feel sorry for her for being so stubborn.

Sometimes when no one is optimistic about her and thinks she can't do it, she gritted her teeth and survived with a breath of anger.

After being silent for a while, Roman suddenly spoke: "Chen Ruihao...... You... Is it really decided? ”

I smiled softly, looked at her calmly, and said casually, "What else could I do?" I think that's the best ending. Maybe years from now, if we can meet again, I'll be able to greet him with a smile. ”

"Chen Ruihao, in fact, if you are willing, he will marry you." Roman continued with some hesitation, she also knew that this was a promise that Le Fan asked Chen Ruihao to give when he was dying, and Chen Ruihao would not break his promise, because it was Le Fan who asked him to give it.

I chuckled, knowing that this was Le Fan's kindness, but I also understood that Le Fan knew that I would not accept such kindness.

"I like Chen Ruihao, I admit it, Chen Ruihao loves Lefan, and I know this very well. I know that if I wanted, Chen Ruihao would indeed marry me, but neither I nor he would be happy. Luo Su said lightly, not as sad as expected, but very calm.

Roman frowned and said disapprovingly: "You love Chen Ruihao so much, I believe that if you can give him happiness, he can also bring you happiness, right?" ”

I shook my head, took another sip of bitter coffee and said: "Roman, Chen Ruihao and I are actually the same, Le Fan is a knot between us, this knot can never be untied, maybe Chen Ruihao may fall in love with someone else in the future, but that person will definitely not be me, because I have a common memory between him and me, a memory that can never be erased, and a memory that we never want to erase." ”

"But Luo Su, Lefan, she is no longer here, she wants to see you happy......"

I interrupted Roman's advice, "Roman, to be honest, I'm not a saint, and I was also moved when Chen Ruihao said that he was willing to marry me...... However, I am glad that I am rational enough, and I can't forget the scene of Chen Ruihao lying in front of Le Fan's tombstone crying heartbreakingly. I'm not jealous of anything, but I clearly realize that Le Fan is already a scar in Chen Ruihao's heart, I know Le Fan, we are good friends, if I and Chen Ruihao are really together, whether he sees him or I see him, we will become each other's tools to uncover the scars at any time. Moreover, although Le Fan did not fall in love with Chen Ruihao, for Chen Ruihao, his heart has long been Le Fan's property. I won't take anything that belongs to Lefan, otherwise it will make me feel so sinful and selfish. ”

Roman frowned and shook his head, "I don't understand your theory. ”

I smiled lightly, "Roman, in fact, the truth is very simple, Le Fan wants me to be happy, but with Chen Ruihao, I have no way to be happy, even if I love him." ”

Roman still didn't give up, "But Luo Su, time will dilute everything, and I believe that only you can heal the wound in Chen Ruihao's heart." ”

I shook my head, "Roman, I said I'm not a saint and I can't wait for time. And I don't think I can heal Chen Ruihao's injuries. If I don't know Le Fan, then even if I know that Chen Ruihao has a person living in his heart, and a dead person who can never fight, I am willing to try to fight for it, and try to make Chen Ruihao fall in love with me. But I know Le Fan, I know what kind of person Le Fan is, and I know that Chen Ruihao loves Le Fan deep into the bone marrow, so I don't even have the courage to fight for it. If I lose to someone I don't know, maybe I will feel unwilling, because I am not willing to lose to a dead person like this. But because this person is Le Fan, I lost willingly. ”

Roman looked at me with sadness, I thought, maybe Le Fan is gone, whether it is me or Roman, as one of the two people that Le Fan cares about the most, what we know about Le Fan will make us each other's pillars.

Because, we all know that only if we live well, Le Fan will live forever and live in the hearts of all those who love her.

"Roman, actually, do you know why Le Fan asked Chen Ruihao to agree to marry me?" I lowered my head and took a sip of my coffee, which had already been cold.

Roman was slightly stunned, perhaps, she didn't think much about Le Fan's intentions, but I understood.

She shook her head and looked at me quizzically.

I turned my head to look out the window at the busy traffic, the girls walking in pairs, holding hands, shopping the streets, with satisfied smiles on their faces. Once upon a time, I laughed like that, and I held hands with her, critically evaluating those goods.

"Roman, what do you think, how well Le Fan knows me, how could she not understand, I will definitely not agree to the promise she asked Chen Ruihao to give, but she still said it, is it really just to get a last trace of peace of mind?"

Roman didn't speak, and I didn't wait for her to speak.

"The reason why Le Fan is like this is that she wants me to break my mind about Chen Ruihao, she knows that I have a tendon, she knows that if I fall in love with someone, if I don't die of heart, I will never let go easily, she knows that maybe I will wronged myself because I love someone, she knows that if I can't see all this clearly, I will be miserable for the rest of my life, she knows that I will never be happy because I get someone who doesn't belong to me......"

My voice choked slightly, and I lifted my coffee and took a big sip.

Therefore, the promise she asked Chen Ruihao for was not to give me a future, but to let me see clearly that Chen Ruihao is not my destination. What she wants for me is true happiness, not forced happiness. ”