In recent days, the situation in the capital has changed, it is very lively, the news of Xuanyuan Yan's draft has really made the official eunuchs and ladies in the capital busy, and the palace of Prime Minister Wang Cheng, who is about to become the queen of Jinhua, is also unprecedentedly lively, and the guests who come to visit Daoxi are endless, they are all very well-informed, and the battle in this court does not seem to be so simple.

I stay in the house all day, and I rarely take care of the shops, and I don't want to listen to this, but Ah Shuang doesn't want me to be quiet, and brings me this kind of news from time to time, maybe she sees that I am not sad or happy, and wants to stimulate me who is numb, Ah Shuang is already a ghost girl now, but she can't imagine that I already know the news, and I have already accepted such an ending, I can't do anything about it, maybe this is God's punishment for me, in my relationship with Xuanyuan Yan, Undoubtedly, I owe him, and if this can be regarded as repaying the love debt owed to him, then I accept it, and I accept the pain of wanting but not getting it, and trying to no avail.

The days are still not in a hurry, but the eldest brother has traveled, and the third brother has also begun to prepare for the weather to warm up and go to the northwest to garrison for a while, my house has suddenly quieted down, my father may be busy setting up for Xuanyuan Yan, and he hasn't recruited me into the palace for a while, and suddenly I seem to have been forgotten, so maybe it's good, let me stay by myself for a few days Maybe it will be better.

Blessing Wushuang to disaster is not a single line, maybe there is some truth in this way, these days my eyelids are beating hard, and my heart is flustered from time to time, I think I can't let go of the things of Xuanyuan Yan, I can't help but comfort myself, I am fortunate to lose my life, I want to let myself accept it calmly, face it calmly, but things are not just so simple, early this morning, Ah Shuang hurriedly came in and called me, saying that the little Shunzi of the Yanfeng County Lord's Mansion is coming, anxious to see me, I listened to a panic in my heart, There is a faint bad premonition.

"County master, the slave has seen you, Mama Gao。。。。。 She went. Whining..... The young man in front of him, who looked a little embarrassed and dusty, cried and said to me.

This news was undoubtedly a bolt from the blue, and for a moment I couldn't stand still, and I staggered to sit on the chair, panicked, scared, and regretful。。。。。。 In the end, even I don't know how it feels, Mama Gao is like my mother, in my opinion, she seems to be more qualified for the role of mother, my mother is a princess of a country, although I love it, but many things are not her hands-on, but Mama Gao has been concerned about my food, clothing, housing and transportation since she was a child, everything is involved, after the death of my mother, she has been playing the role of a mother in my heart, over the past few years, I have always thought that I am still very young, and I have always wanted to fulfill my wishes, I used to think about how to escape from Jinhua, and then Zhaoming thought about how to manage the neon clothes and feathers, and then returned to Jinhua I thought about how to make Xuanyuan Yan love me again, I never thought about her, I always felt that there was still a lot of time to do filial piety in the future, but the son wanted filial piety and didn't wait, now I know that I was wrong, I know that I was too selfish, but she really didn't wait for me, why can't I wait for me, even when my mother left, I was never so sad, maybe I was too selfish at that time, I'm so selfish that I don't realize how stupid I am, and I don't realize how precious my loved ones I have lost, but now I understand, I really understand, now I run day and night to the wind, I don't know what will happen when I go, but if not, I don't know how to vent my remorse and sadness, I am on the road all day and night, no longer speaking and rarely eating, Ah Shuang's eyes are red and follow me, she wants to persuade me, but I don't know what to do, I can see her worries, "Ah Shuang, I'm fine." I just want to go and see it soon, and the sooner the better. "I can only comfort her like this, I don't have any more strength left.

I was surprisingly not sick all the way, and after more than a month, I rushed to the cold wind and came to the county lord's mansion, and the only thing waiting for me was the cold tablet.

"County Lord, when Mama left, she said that you should not be sad, she said that her greatest wish is to hope that the county lord can have a good home, but she said that she is not in a hurry, she said that she hopes that the county lord can be happy, and she said that the county lord will be able to make himself happy." The peach blossom next to me cried and said to me.

Good destination and happiness, Mama Gao, maybe I will let down your intentions again, "You go down first, I want to stay with Mama Gao alone for a while." ”

In the past, I always felt that those people who were holding the dead tablet and crying to death were all making a show, why bother to hold the cold tablet, now I have experienced that helplessness, only holding the tablet that has no reaction and no temperature, it seems that I can get closer to Mama Gao, in addition to this, what else can I do?

"Mama Gao, it's Nian'er's mistake, Nian'er came back late. I originally wanted to catch up with Xuanyuan Yan, so I can give you an explanation, you are always nagging in my ear, but now, Xuanyuan Yan is about to stand up, don't you can't wait to see me happy, and you even left me behind。。。。。。 I babbled over and over at the tablet, tossing and turning, intermittently, until at last I fell asleep from exhaustion.

I'm always groggy these days, I'm easy to be sleepy in the spring, plus these days of travel fatigue and sadness and self-blame, now I'm exhausted, forget it, I still have no chance with that Xuanyuan Yan, even if I barely enter the palace to have the opportunity to be with him occasionally, so what's the point, I won't be happy with this polygamous life model, it's better to simply stay in the wind, out of sight is clean, he can only be drafted after the end, I can only let him, I'll be here with Mama Gao for a few days, Now that I have no desires, no desires, no mercy and no love, let me continue to live numbly, comfortably, and ignorantly, I would rather live this kind of life that is calm and does not cause any emotional ups and downs.

I consciously shut down all my senses, stay in the room all day and ignore the outside affairs, during which the emperor's uncle sent someone to summon me a few times, I was unwell and pushed away, my father also sent a lot of supplements, I don't want to pay attention to it, maybe only like the eldest brother can not be disturbed by the world.