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Eighteen foxes eat grapes

In a farmer's orchard, fuchsia grapes hang from the branches, making it a mouth-watering sight. Of course, this delicacy could not escape the eyes of the foxes who had set up camp nearby, and they came to the grape trellis one after another.

The first fox found that the trellis was much taller than it. It stood below and thought about it, unwilling to give up. After thinking about it for a while, it spotted the ladder next to the grape trellis and remembered that the farmer had used it. Therefore, he also climbed up like a farmer and successfully picked the grapes. (It confronts the problem directly, does not run away from it, and finally solves the problem.) ）

The second fox found that with its size, it would not be able to eat grapes in its lifetime. Therefore, it thought to itself that this grape must be sour, and it is better not to eat it. So, it left in a happy mood. (This is often referred to in psychology as the "sour grapes effect," which can also be called a "literal effect" or a "rationalizing explanation," in which the failure to achieve one's goals is explained on the grounds that satisfy one's needs.) ）

The third fox was not discouraged when he saw the tall trellises, and thought: I can jump up, if I try hard, I will definitely get it. But it backfired, jumping lower and lower, and finally died of exhaustion under the grape trellis, and dedicated itself to making fertilizer. (This is called "stubbornness" in psychology and sometimes "obsessive-compulsive disorder.") It shows that not the best solution for anything is to solve the problem, and it depends on various factors such as one's own ability and the environment at the time. ）

When the fourth fox saw that the trellis was taller than himself, and his wish was disappointed, he cursed and tore the vine he could reach, and the farmer happened to find it, and a shovel shot it to death. (This behavior we call "attack," and it's an undesirable way to deal with it, and it's harmful to others and to yourself.) ）

When the fifth fox saw how small he looked under the trellis, he cried bitterly: Why is he so small? If you are like an elephant, don't you eat whatever you want? Why is the trellis so high? (This manifestation is what we call "regression" in psychology, when an individual experiences a setback, regresses from a higher stage of personality development to a lower stage of personality development.) ）

The sixth fox looked up at the trellis and thought, since I can't eat the grapes, the other foxes certainly can't eat them, and if so, I have nothing to regret, anyway, everyone is the same. (This kind of behavior is called "projection" in psychology, which is attributing one's own desires and motivations to others, asserting that others have such motives and desires, often beyond one's own capabilities.) ）

The seventh fox stood under a high trellis and was in a very bad mood. It thought: Why can't I eat it? Why is my fate so miserable, I can't satisfy my desire to eat a grape...... The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became, and finally I was depressed. (This is a manifestation of "depression," a neurological disorder characterized by a persistent state of depressed mood.) ）

The eighth fox tried to jump to reach the grapes, but without success; It tried to stop thinking about the grapes, but it couldn't resist; It tried a few other things, but it didn't work. When he heard that another fox had eaten the grapes, he was in a bad mood and finally crashed and died under the grape trellis. (In real life, we often encounter a similar phenomenon of "not suffering from nothing, suffering from unevenness".) Many people choose inappropriate coping methods because of psychological imbalance when comparing themselves with others. ）

The ninth fox also couldn't reach the grapes. It thought to itself, listening to other foxes, that lemons seemed to taste like grapes, and since I couldn't eat them, why not try them? So satisfied, it left in search of lemons. (This behavior is what we call in psychology "substitution," that is, substituting an unfulfilled desire in a way that is attainable on its own.) ）

The tenth fox saw the gap between his ability and the tall trellis and realized that it was impossible to eat grapes at his current level and ability. So he decided to use the time to recharge his batteries and enrolled in a postgraduate course to learn the techniques of grape picking, and of course he got his wish. (This is a problem-oriented coping strategy, correctly analyzing the relationship and nature of oneself and the problem, and finding the best solution, which is a better way to cope.) ）

The eleventh fox tricked some of his companions into coming, and then, while they were not looking, knocked them unconscious with a shovel, stacked them up, stepped on their bodies, and ate the grapes as they wished. (This fox solves the problem on the basis of harming the interests of others, and this way of coping should not be caries)

The twelfth fox was a beautiful young lady, and she thought, "I, a weak woman, can't reach the grapes anyway, so why not use the power of others?" Therefore, it finds a boyfriend, and this Mr. Fox gives Miss Fox the best gift with the help of a ladder. (This is known in psychology as the "compensation principle," which is to use one's strengths in another or the strengths of others to make up for one's own shortcomings.) ）

The thirteenth fox was very dissatisfied with the height of the trellis, so he blamed the vines. Saying that the vine is too high and climbing so high is that the heart of the grape is not as beautiful as it seems. After venting, it calmly left. (In psychology, we call this "countervailing", that is, engaging in a symbolic activity to counteract or resist a person's true feelings.) ）

The fourteenth fox, finding that he could not eat the grapes, looked contemptuously at the rotten grapes on the ground and the other foxes ate the remaining grape skins, vomited, and said, "It's disgusting, who can eat these things1 (this is called "reverse effect" in psychology, i.e., a psychological defense mechanism in which behavior and motivation are completely opposite). ）

The fifteenth fox sighed: "Beautiful things are sometimes so far away from us, so what's wrong with leaving yourself a little fantasy at such a distance?" So it became poetic, and a book of poetry was born! (In psychology we call this "displacement," where one kind of mental catharsis is substituted for another.) ）

When the sixteenth fox found that his wish to eat grapes could not be fulfilled, he soon developed stomach pains and indigestion. The fox never understood how it could have problems with its digestive system, which had always been very careful about its diet. (This situation in psychology can be called "transformation", that is, the individual converts psychological pain into physical illness.)

The seventeenth fox found the same problem, and he pouted and said, "What's the big deal, some of us foxes have already eaten it, and who said that only monkeys can eat the fruit, foxes do the same1 (this is an emotionally oriented way of coping, which is called "empathy" in psychology, that is, when the self-evaluation value is lower than the value of others, find people who are related to oneself to achieve self-worth. ）

The eighteenth fox thought to himself: I can't eat grapes myself, and neither can other foxes, so why don't we learn the spirit of cooperation of monkeys fishing for the moon? So it mobilized all the foxes who wanted to eat the grapes to build a fox ladder, so that everyone could eat the sweet grapes. (This fox takes a problem-oriented approach, it understands the principle of cooperation, and the end result is beneficial to both itself and everyone.) ）

Happiness is like a blue bird

Once upon a time, a little prince set out in search of happiness. The Great Wizard told him, "Happiness is a blue bird with the most beautiful and crisp singing voice in the world, and when you find it, you must immediately put it in a cage made of gold, so that you can get the happiness you want." ”

He took a golden cage on the road. The little prince caught a lot of blue birds, but after putting them in the golden cage, the birds died for some reason. He knew that was not the happiness he was looking for.

Later, the golden cage was a little old, and the little prince was no longer young. Remembering his parents from afar, the little prince returned to his kingdom only to find that something was wrong. The king and queen died not long after his departure due to excessive grief and longing.

The little prince was walking lonely on the desolate streets, when suddenly someone grabbed him by the corner of his clothes, and it was an old man with gray sideburns. "The Great Wizard 1 The Little Prince recognized him." Prince, I'm sorry for you, I shouldn't have encouraged you to look for the bluebird. The old man choked up and took out an item from his pocket, "This is what the King and Queen asked me to give you on their deathbed, and I hope you will treasure it." ”

When the little prince saw it, it turned out to be a yellow warbler carved by the king for himself when he was a child. The little prince hugged the wooden bird tightly to his chest, and was very remorseful. Suddenly, the wooden bird in his arms moved and called out, and the little prince was stunned, and when he didn't pay attention, he let the yellow warbler fly away. It was a happy blue bird, and he didn't have time to put it in the golden cage.

What exactly is happiness? Where is the happy bluebird? Someone once asked a sage for advice on what happiness is, and the philosopher said: Walk around, eat well, and sleep soundly. Dr. Barclay, a well-known Bible commentator in Britain and Ireland, once pointed out that there are three indispensable factors for a happy life: one is hope, the other is something to do, and the third is to be able to love others.

Happiness is very simple, but most people in real life do not know happiness in happiness, and prefer to be like the little prince, giving up the happiness around them to find an illusion that does not exist. Actually, happiness is like a blue bird, it will gently rest on everyone's shoulders, but some people don't see it and even scare it away. Happiness is not far away, it is by your side, in your hands, as long as you have a delicate and gentle, easy to move and good at discovering.