Only then did he suddenly realize: "Oh oh oh! So that's what happened! Oops! Then I really take it for granted! I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to underestimate you, I really didn't expect you to be so specialized in this area? ”

"Hey, hey!" She couldn't stop laughing: "Then tell me, what are you going to say when you hand over this shopping card to the Commission for Discipline Inspection?" ”

He straightened his expression: "Teacher Lu has already prompted so obviously, if I still can't answer the point, it will be too much to say!" I thought about it, so I said it. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 info When Tu Honghan stuffed the shopping card into my hand for the first time, I wanted to refuse and return it to him. But he was already far away. There's no way, I'll return it to him again, and I won't accept it. It can only be handed over to the Commission for Discipline Inspection. I deeply know that as long as the amount of money received reaches 3,000 yuan, it constitutes bribery, and 20,000 yuan, let alone 20,000 yuan! The central government has repeatedly ordered that no more shopping cards will be sent, but he Tu Honghan still braves the world's disapproval, and as soon as he makes a move, he is so arrogant, six or seven times the bottom limit stipulated by the central government, which cannot but make people alarmed! ”

"Hahaha! You can say that again! She laughed, "If I were an official of the Commission for Discipline Inspection, I would definitely be moved by your words!" Not only will they think that you are upright, but they will also think that this Tu Honghan is particularly hateful, and there is more than six or seven differences between good and evil, three thousand yuan! ”

"Hey, hey!" He kissed her on the forehead emotionally and said with a smile: "These are your credits, if you can really do this, I will definitely give you this kobold military master to celebrate!" ”

"Hee-hee!" She smiled and said, "How can I be half Zhuge Liang!" How can you give a dog-headed military advisor, it's too underestimated! ”

He lowered his voice and whispered something in her ear.

"Really?" Her eyes widened in disbelief.

He smiled: "You still don't believe me? Then wait and see, see how these two beam-jumping clowns lead and sing by themselves? You go back and talk to your father, and try to get him to help find someone who, like you, can do this play a little more! ”

She was puzzled: "Do you have to find another person?" ”

He smiled confidently: "Yes! My preliminary work has been done, you just need to ...... like this, and that's it! ”

Listening to him say it carefully, she was first surprised, then nodded, and then surprised, and asked, "Is this okay?" ”

"Hmm!" He laughed, "Do you think it's feasible?" ”

She thought for a while, then nodded, "Hmm! Such a interlocking and exquisite design, they must not have imagined it, even if they thought of it, they also wanted to implement the anti-intercourse on you, but they didn't want you to be already in Xijing, and they had long been detached from things, no matter how they reversed, they could only put themselves in! ”

"Oops!" He was amazed: "Even my father said that your wisdom is unparalleled in the world, it seems that this is really the case!" ”

"Phew!" She said angrily: "Don't praise me, you want me to become a way to praise you!" What wisdom is unparalleled in the world, compared to your strategy, I can only be a pediatrician! ”

"Where! Where! He smiled and said, "Madame, too modest!" The two of us have always been like Qin Shaoyou and Su Xiaomei. No matter how resourceful this Qin Shaoyou is, no matter how beautiful he is outside, but when he comes to his daughter-in-law Su Xiaomei, he can only listen obediently in front of the tent, come as soon as he is called, and leave as soon as he is called, am I right? ”

"Haha!" She couldn't help but laugh, and she had already laughed.

Thangka here, using an allusion to "Su Xiaomei" and "Qin Shaoyou".

Although this allusion does not stand up to scrutiny, whether "Su Xiaomei" is really a person, and whether she is really the wife of "Qin Shaoyou", is only contained in wild history and folklore. However, it is precisely because of the huge power of folklore that the story of "Su Xiaomei and Qin Shaoyou" has been passed down from mouth to mouth for a long time.

Su Xiaomei is the younger sister of the great writer Su Dongpo in the Song Dynasty, and her name is Su Zhen in the wild history, and she was a well-known talented woman at that time. And Qin Shaoyou is Qin Guan, Shaoyou is his word, and he is also a famous lyricist.

If you want to say that this Su Dongpo, since writing "When is the bright moon, ask the wine to the sky", he is famous for his outstanding talent, except for being called "Su's Three Heroes" with him, that is, his father Su Xun and younger brother Su Zhe, almost no one can compare. However, if you really compare it with his little sister "Su Xiaomei", she is always a head shorter, which is a lot worse.

The following three are the most well-known examples.

First, the brother and sister use their appearance to write poems.

Su Dongpo is proud of his talent on weekdays, and often writes some poems, and jokes about what he sees. Some of them even made an article about Su Xiaomei's appearance to describe her sister's convex forehead and concave eyes.

Three or five steps before leaving the hall, the forehead goes to the front of the painting hall first;

It was difficult to wipe away tears a few times, leaving two springs.

After finishing the work, he felt funny, and the great writer laughed. Unexpectedly, Su Xiaomei was not afraid at all, she just grinned, immediately ridiculed each other, and also made a poem.

A clump of mourning grass came out of his lips, and his beard and sideburns were missing.

The corners of the mouth were nowhere to be found a few times, and suddenly I heard a sound in the hair.

In the previous poem, Su Dongpo made it bad, and saw his sister's forehead bulging a little and her eye sockets concave

some, just magnify the weakness of this appearance, catch it out and ridicule it, without taking into account the weakness of the girl who is most afraid of others saying about her appearance.

In the later poem, Su Xiaomei directly ridiculed Su Dongpo's unrepaired and unkempt beard, which can be described as a powerful counterattack.

But she never thought that after reading this poem, Su Xiaomei probably felt that she only said that her brother's beard didn't seem to completely catch the sore spot, and then looked at it, and found that her brother's forehead was flat, and he had a one-foot-long horse face, and the two eyes were still far away.

The balance is three thousand, and the eyebrows are in the distance.

Last year, a drop of lovesick tears has not reached the ear and cheek.

When Su Dongpo heard this, he said three "good" words in a row, patted his sister's head and laughed, happy to admit defeat.

The second is to replace Su Dongpo and Buddha Yin and other monks on poetry.

Su Dongpo has many monk friends, the most famous of which is the Buddha seal. Originally, the Song Dynasty did not allow girls to go out to play casually, but the Su family was a big family and had different knowledge, so Su Dongpo often took his sister with him, and when he made some meat and vegetarian jokes with the monks, he did not shy away from it, and let his sharp-toothed sister stir up in the middle.

One day, Su Dongpo and Buddha Yin were meditating in the forest, and the sun moved the bamboo shadow, and there was silence.

After a long time, Buddha Yin said to Su Dongpo: "Guanjun sits in a posture that resembles a Buddha." Su Dongpo was overjoyed and proud, and when he saw the brown robe of the Buddha seal hanging on the ground, he smiled and joked about the Buddha seal: "The Venerable Master sits like a pile of cow dung." ”

Unexpectedly, Foyin was not angry at the time, but just smiled slightly.

Su Dongpo was smug, thinking to himself, this time he finally made the Buddha Yin bow his head, and he couldn't help but tell Su Xiaomei when he went back. But she didn't want to, Su Xiaomei sighed repeatedly: "Brother, you lost again!" The Buddha has a saying: the heart thinks, the eyes see. The Buddha has a Buddha in his heart, so he looks like a Buddha. And if you look at him like cow dung, it means that you only have cow dung in your heart, that is, you yourself are a pile of cow dung. ”

Su Dongpo was shocked and deeply blamed himself, and from then on, when he joked with Foyin and other monks, he avoided it and let Su Xiaomei go to fight the enemy.

Another day, Su Dongpo went out with a group of monks, Su Xiaomei also followed, and suddenly saw a monk swimming in the river, like a smooth ball in the blue waves, constantly rolling.

Su Xiaomei was interested, and said: "Wash the monk in the water of Qingjiang, and roll the gourd." ”

One of the presiding monks who followed behind was also a joker, and immediately said: "There is a beautiful woman sitting in the blue gauze tent, and the smoke cage is full of peonies." ”

The two are opposite, very rigorous. So the war started, Su Xiaomei, of course, was not to be outdone, and came out with another couplet: "The monk sleeps in the brocade quilt, and there is a gourd among the ten thousand flowers." ”

The host immediately said: "The female is against the bronze, and there are two flowers in the half-acre pond." ”

Su Xiaomei was clumsy for a while, and when she was helpless, she looked up and saw a monk in Jiangxin holding the boat, so the topic changed: another couplet: "The monk is holding the boat, and the penny beats the Jiangxin Arhat." ”

This couplet is very ingenious, and it is particularly difficult to deal with. Jiangxin Arhat is actually a "reflection", but the monk who starts with it is the same, that is, he beats himself. It is written from the "reflection", and it is necessary to answer with the "shadow" to be appropriate.

This time it was difficult to preside over the monk, and as a result, after careful deliberation for a long time, he finally said: "The beauty draws water, and the rope leads the Guanyin at the bottom of the well." ”

To say that this is really good, Guanyin is a beauty, and it is also a "reflection", that is, the beauty who fetched water tied herself with a rope, which was regarded as a powerful counterattack.

Su Xiaomei was still unwilling, and once again attacked the "Arhats" just mentioned: "Five hundred Arhats crossed the river, and there were thousands of Buddha's hands in the heart of the river on the bank." ”

If you want to say that the realm of the presiding monk is high, you know that if you continue to compete, you will not be an opponent in the end, so you choose to value harmony, praise Su Xiaomei's quick thinking, show off her wisdom, and say a sentence: "A beautiful woman looks at the moon, and there are two cicadas in the sky on earth." ”

At this point, this Buddhist poetry contest can be regarded as ending in a happy draw, even Su Dongpo couldn't help but applaud, secretly saying that he couldn't fight the little sister, and the little sister had just made a draw with the monks, which shows the high skill of the monks.

But it didn't take long for the highest level of Buddha Yin among the monks to sit still this time, because he had the closest relationship with the Su brothers and sisters, so there were no taboos in fighting on weekdays, and at this time he actually bullied Su Xiaomei unmarried, and he didn't necessarily understand the affairs of men and women, so he began to joke about meat jokes, and said: "I have a couplet, dare to ask the female donor to answer, I don't know if I can answer it?" ”

Su Xiaomei was afraid of this, and immediately replied: "Master, please say, Xiaomei answers!" ”

Buddha Yin smiled evilly and said a couplet.

"A woman sleeps alone, with three hairy eyes."

To say that this Buddha seal is really bad enough, if you look at this couplet now, it is all lustful, and it is just a joke about the girl's two eyes, and she actually brought out her lower body, not to mention that Su Xiaomei is not married yet.

Of course, this is also a joke that Foyin often jokes, knowing that Su Xiaomei has always been competitive and unwilling to admit defeat, so he chose such a pair of meat couplets, trying to force Su Xiaomei to speak.