Chasing an idol, it seems that the biggest difficulty is not in the financial resources, there is no money to buy albums and peripherals, it seems that they are all things that can be tolerated with gritted teeth; Be harsh on yourself, and you can always squeeze out a little food.

But it's too difficult to endure the feeling of "liking him".

Love has a tendency to be exclusive.

But only in this relationship is that you have to be sensible and stand in the right place in a large crowd.

In the original book, Lu Yuancang and Lu Wanwan grew up together, became mature together, and were just the right amount of sleek and powerful; But after Chu Songluo broke the balance of the original relationship between the two of them, Lu Wanwan's heart was floating, but Lu Yuancang was shattered in an instant The shell that was still able to comfort himself, protect himself, and restrain himself was shattered.

If he has never been disrupted by his various unreasonable behaviors, Lu Yuancang will always be a loyal fan, endure the ** in his emotional nature, and be a cheering background character.

-- But man is a greedy animal.

When you taste it, you can only find the most old-fashioned adjectives for sweetness and bitterness.

But Lu Wanwan's liking and Chu Songluo's gentle treatment of her made him quickly come back to his senses and extinguish his fire.

Lu Wanwan and Lu Yuancang secretly misunderstood that they were the one who was abandoned, but they were reluctant to ask and poke it out of the face of their childhood sweethearts, as if nothing had happened for so many years.

So how does Chu Songluo rationalize his abnormal behavior?

- Because he is a sick person.

It is logical to regard his injury as this Chu Songluo's "chronic disease", a young man from a privileged family who is precocious and weak, and prematurely misunderstands the human feelings in the world, but no one is around to correct him.

"Chu Songluo" is a setting that dislikes ** and feelings, so he dislikes Lu Yuancang who makes him have such feelings.

Lu Yuancang had clearly handed over the blade that killed him to Chu Songluo, but he was afraid to tinker with the shell of self-defense.

- Next, as long as he knows his peculiarity to Chu Songluo, he will have great courage and run out and pounce on this sharp blade.

At half past four in the morning, the morning light had already faintly come in through the window, and the bright Cheng dù seemed to be a transparent solid like jelly, and he could see vaguely.

This is the usual time to get up and exercise, and Lu Yuancang should have woken up a long time ago. But he moved his eyes slightly, and vaguely saw Chu Songluo's figure standing in front of the window.

In the blink of an eye, the figure gradually became clear.

The slender shadow is half backlit, half submerged in darkness. The light rubbed away the sharpness of his silhouette a little, making him look a little fragile and soft. There should be a cigarette in his finger, but the cigarette butt has accumulated a long section, and the red flame is so small that it seems to burn the silhouette to ashes.

The fire was extinguished on the windowsill, Chu Songluo walked over, and Lu Yuancang immediately pretended to sleep.

Chu Songluo saw that his eyes had obviously moved, but he pretended not to notice it, and traced his eyebrows and eyes very carefully.

As if hesitating, his hand was raised and lowered, but finally tentatively reached out, trembling slightly, to touch his lips.

Lu Yuancang seemed to be frightened by his movements, and his body stiffened slightly, but perhaps it was his small, slightly gentle, uncertain tremor that made him wonder and bear his exploration motionlessly.

The wings of the nose are a bit fleshy, but the shape of the bridge of the nose is beautiful.

Eyelashes that are long but a little sparse.

His fingertips traced his brow bone and slid to his ears.

Then he trembled and touched his collarbone, his neck.

The hand left.

But the faint smell of tobacco was still as thick as a temperature, and Lu Yuancang vaguely felt that Chu Songluo had not left. After a while, he suddenly heard a very suppressed sigh.

About ten minutes after the sound of the door opening and closing, Lu Yuancang sat up and found that he was neatly dressed and well cleaned. He turned on the light and walked into the living room, where there were empty cigarette cases, beer cans, and a few miscellaneous bottles of medicine on the coffee table.

Under the medicine bottle was a book that seemed to have been soaked in water, and it had become crumpled.

Lu Yuancang picked it up out of curiosity and took a look-

7MENDICEepisode11, No. 001.

As soon as I opened it, I automatically ran to the middle page, which was obviously the page that was often turned by the owner.

There are only two lines on that page, and the color of the highlighter is still very bright.

"I have been tormented by ** for a long time, and therefore I hate the source of ** - but human beings, don't your evil thoughts lie in your own body?"

The intelligence trafficker 12 is very convincing to brainwash his followers.

- "Love is tormenting each other. ”

Love is tormenting each other.

He was stunned and couldn't understand why Chu Songluo wanted to leave this script, but suddenly heard the sound of the door lock turning, and hurriedly put the scripts back, but in a hurry, he knocked down a bottle of medicine that was placed on the table. The brown liquid slowly flowed out, and Chu Songluo had already walked in front of him.

The script was prepared and deliberately placed here; Lu Yuancang really went to see it, Chu Songluo was a little complacent, and took the opportunity to transform this laugh into self-deprecating and light.

Lu Yuancang hurriedly picked up the medicine bottle, but Chu Songluo felt that it was ridiculous, and he curled the corners of his lips as if it was ridiculous, and said coldly: "No need, I couldn't finish this medicine, and it's nothing if I spill it." ”

As he said this, he suddenly arched himself and coughed violently.

Lu Yuancang was at a loss, and when he finally stopped, he said, "Since you're sick...... Why do you smoke and drink? ”

Chu Songluo said: "I told you yesterday, this is a place to wait for death." ”

Lu Yuan was speechless, and naturally heard the voiceover - since they are all going to die, what's the use of avoiding smoking and drinking? Thinking of his last sentence again, the feeling of confusion and uneasiness came very slowly-

Chu Songluo...... Is it already strict that Cheng Dù is about to leave?

Chu Songluo no longer thought about him, frowned slightly, hesitated for a moment, but still grabbed Lu Yuancang - it was just a wrist, and he didn't say anything, and took him out of the door.

Before Lu Yuancang had time to change his shoes, he came out kicking a pair of slippers, and followed him for a long distance away from the gate before Chu Songluo slowed down.

In front of you is a small forest, and the path winds its way into it, lined with low bushes, and there is a wonderful feeling to walk on. About a few dozen meters, a small Tan suddenly appeared in front of me, and there was a stone on the side of Tan, and there was moss on the stone.

There was a smell of dampness in the air, and Chu Songluo finally let go of Lu Yuancang's hand, but he was silent.

"What are you doing here?"

When he asked, Chu Songluo glanced at him very lightly, and asked instead of answering: "Deep mountain ghosts, are you afraid?" ”

This is not like his usual style, but he has always been sudden in his words and deeds towards Lu Yuancang, so Lu Yuancang was stunned for a moment, "Huh? Then he shook his head, "I think it should...... There are no ghosts, right? ”

Chu Songluo smiled lightly and said, "You might as well look here next year, maybe you can find me." ”

"- Next year?" Lu Yuancang subconsciously felt that his attitude was wrong, but he felt that he should not say those optimistic words, as if such words were an insult to him.

"Next year." Chu Songluo's gaze fell on the moss, "Summer is the best, drag it out until autumn, the mountains will get warmer, and it won't be so beautiful here." ”

Lu Yuancang didn't know what to say, so he also looked at the moss silently. After a while, he heard Chu Songluo call him again: "Lu Yuancang? ”

"I'm here, teacher."

"You should like me a lot."

The morning light finally began to shine brightly, and the sparkling light from the pool was also mottled. Chu Songluo finally looked back at him, and there was a gentle sadness in his eyes that was so heavy that he was about to collapse.

The beating of his heart became obvious, and Lu Yuancang took two steps forward and suddenly hugged him.

"I am, teacher."

The man rested his chin on his shoulder, unable to see clearly.

"But I hate you."

He hugged the road away, and the smell of tobacco surrounded his nostrils.

“…… Thank you. ”

Thank you for being willing to love someone with a bad personality so sincerely.

Thank you for having the courage to go to a jerk who is dying.

The silent growth of watching together across the screen.

The first time he got the position of host, you cheered, you took the first place in the exam, and you were able to eat fried chicken.

The first time he sang a song, you pretended to be clever and got a lot of money, holding the ceramic pig that had been hidden for a long time, and secretly ran to the earliest audio-visual store in town.

He chooses to quit as a trainee, and you experience the parting of graduation for the first time.

He changes companies and you find new friends.

The first time he spread the scandal, the first time you received a love letter from the girl next door.

He retired, but you officially stepped onto the glittering stage.

For the first time, he had someone to love.

The first time you have someone you love.

Suppress, retreat, and forbearance.

Love is mutual torment.

Do you want to be lucky, before you have time to fall in love, the journey together has ended?

Lu Yuancang got on the bus on the way back, and after seeing the black iron gate with green vines climbing in the window, Chu Songluo's expression was faint, his figure was thin, and he stood alone.

It's all his choice.

And you, as a fan, can only watch silently, bless silently, and sing and harmonize silently.

Now, the pantomime is over.

**

Summer has finally arrived.

Cicadas chirp. Heavy rain. It's so green that it wants to flow.

The air texture after the heavy rain is more real, and Lu Yuancang jumps off the bus. The uncle guarding the door still checked the phone for a long time, but Lu Yuancang didn't need to be in a hurry.

Keep walking until there is no building and there is a small grove.

There is a path near the south side that is not so easy to find, step on the soft mud to enter, about a few tens of meters, you can see a deep blue and quiet Tan, there are stones on the side of Tan, and there is moss on the stones.

There is also a very new tombstone.

Lu Yuancang put down his backpack, took out the cigarettes and wine one by one, sat cross-legged on the ground, opened a can of beer by himself, and thought about it for a long time, but he didn't know what to say.

He finished his beer in a sullen voice and tried to smoke.

The smell of smoke choked him violently, and his eyes welled with tears.

Breathing finally calmed down.

It was getting dark, and the cicadas were chirping.

Lu Yuancang leaned against the tree, and when it was all dark, he remained motionless.

The stars are shining and shining.

Lu Yuancang stood up with his legs a little numb, and slowly walked to the tombstone.

He smiled slightly and said, "Teacher." ”

There are no ghosts in the world. I know. ”

――Male God Chapter-End〜