Chen Wan and Xie Jian's acquaintance dates back to four years ago, when Chen Wan was still a struggling senior in high school.

Xie Jian and Chen Wan are in the same school as Chen Wan, but they are three years older than Chen Wan, and they happen to be the same class teacher as Chen Wan.

In order to encourage the students in the class, the head teacher called his protégé Xie Jian back to high school and asked him to teach the younger students a little learning experience.

Xie Jian, who has been in the student union for three years, looks steady and mature, and exudes a charming charm in every move.

Chen Wan likes men, especially mature and stable men. Listening to Xie Jianyang's lecture on a lesson, he immediately became obsessed with this person.

Of course, according to Chen Wan's temperament, even if he has a good impression of Xie Jian, it is impossible for him to confess rashly.

Besides, the two had only met once, and that bit of goodwill was not enough to support him to follow Xie Jian.

But it was also fate, Chen Wan's parents wanted to find him a tutor, and this tutor happened to be Xie Jian.

At that time, Chen Wan had already forgotten about Xie Jian, but when he opened the door and saw the person standing in the living room, the feeling that had been heartwarming came back.

Because of the intense study in the third year of high school, Xie Jian only tutored Chen Wan on weekends. During that time, the weekend became the day that Chen Wan looked forward to the most. Every time the doorbell rang, he would quickly open the door.

Xie Jianneng is a good speaker, and Chen Wan is also a teacher and friend. When he was resting, Xie Jian would chat with Chen Wan, and after a long time, he would tease him intentionally or unintentionally.

Chen Wan was teased, but he wasn't sure if Xie Jian meant that.

Due to distraction, his grades dropped a lot during that time. As his tutor, Xie Jian cares more than him.

During a small talk, Xie Jian asked Chen Wan: "Which university do you want to go to in the future?" ”

Chen Wan didn't want to think about it and said, "F big." ”

Xie Jian asked, "Why?" ”

Chen Wan said: "Because F is very good. "And you're in there.

Chen Wan didn't say the latter sentence, and Xie Jian didn't continue to ask. He tilted his head and said with a smile: "Is this good, let's make an agreement." If you get into F University, I'll grant you a request. ”

Chen Wan asked, "Is it okay to ask for anything?" ”

Xie Jian stared into Chen Wan's eyes and said word by word: "Anything is fine." ”

Chen Wan's heart was pounding, as if she was about to jump out in the next second. For a moment, he almost told the secret that had been hidden in his heart for a long time, but fortunately, the sound of Chen's mother coming home and opening the door interrupted him.

"Take your time," Chen Wan thought to herself, "don't rush, take your time." I'll talk about it when I'm admitted to F University! ”

In the days that followed, Chen Wan studied even harder. With his grades at that time, it was difficult to take the F exam. But driven by that agreement, he insisted on improving his grades in the last two months of the college entrance examination.

I don't know if it's because of the agreement, Xie Jian's attitude towards Chen Wan after that was also a lot more ambiguous.

He asked for Chen Wan's phone number, and acted as an artificial alarm clock every morning to wake Chen Wan up, and for more than 60 days, not a day has fallen.

The text message of good night in the evening is also a must, not only that, but he often sends some funny jokes for Chen Wan to relieve his boredom.

During that time, although Chen Wan suffered a lot in her studies, she tasted a lot of sweetness from Xie Jian.

He looked forward to Xie Jian's text messages every day, even if Xie Jian sent old-fashioned jokes, he laughed happily. He immersed himself in the honeypot given to him by Xie Jian, and survived a young man who fell in love.

After a long time, Chen Wan found out that in fact, he and Xie Jian only seemed to be in love for that time. When he got the notice of F University and asked Xie Jian to "be together", the two were not so sweet.

When Chen Wan was a freshman, Xie Jian was a senior. On the day of the start of school, Chen Wan was very happy. Because he is finally in the same school as Xie Jian!

But after only a few days of joy, Chen Wan found that he was happy too early.

Xie Jian is a senior in college, and he has to do internships and find jobs, so he doesn't usually spend much time in school.

At first, he would go back to school two or three times a week to see Chen Wan, but later he reduced it to once a week, or even once every two weeks.

Xie Jian's explanation to Chen Wan is that he is very busy at work, and as an intern, he has a lot to learn and a lot to do.

Although Chen Wan was disappointed, she also expressed understanding. Although love is important, the future is even more important.

In order to enrich himself, he joined the student union, fought for scholarships, and tried to leave as little time as possible for himself to think about Xie Jian.

On New Year's Day, Chen Wan and Xie Jian had a day to go on a date. It's said to be dating, but it's just two people staying together. After all, both of them are men, and they can't go shopping hand in hand like ordinary couples.

Xie Jian opened a bottle of wine during dinner in the evening, he didn't plan to buy drunk on purpose, but he unknowingly drank too much.

Xie Jian, who had drunk too much, took Chen Wan's hand and complained to him.

The company is no better than the school, and the people in the company look down on him. He obviously graduated from 985 and 211, but in the company, even college graduates can yell at him.

He has always been proud of himself, and he has done an excellent job both in his studies and in the work of the student union.

At school, his classmates admired him, his teachers liked him, and who knew that out of society, everyone was targeting him.

Chen Wan knew that Xie Jian was under pressure, so she didn't stop him, and only comforted him softly.

Xie Jian hugged Chen Wan and murmured, "Chen Wan, only you are really good to me." In this world, I only need you. ”

Chen Wan was sad when she heard this, and she held Xie Jian's hand harder.

During that winter vacation, Chen Wan found an opportunity to come out to the family. He thought that if he planned to live with Xie Jian for the rest of his life, he would have to come out sooner or later.

The consequence of coming out rashly was that Chen Wan was kicked out of the house by his parents and cut off his financial resources.

Walking on the street alone with a suitcase in an embarrassment, Chen Wan only felt unprecedentedly happy in her heart.

He's out of the closet! In the future, he doesn't have to be forced by his parents to start a family, he can be with the man he likes in the open!

Although the parents' side hasn't completely done it yet, but slowly grind, they will agree one day! Either way, at least he took the first step!

Chen Wan called Xie Jian expectantly and told him about coming out. He thought that Xie Jian would be ecstatic, but there was silence for a long time.

"Chen Wan, you're too impulsive." In the end, Xie Jian said this sentence.

It was as if a basin of cold water was poured down from the top of her head, and Chen Wan's heart trembled from the cold. He thought about Xie Jian's various reactions, but he never thought of this one.

Chen Wan doesn't remember what he said on the phone that day, he only remembers that he dragged a suitcase and walked alone on the street full of lanterns, not knowing where to go.

Nowhere to go!

Afterwards, Chen Wan realized that his coming out was indeed reckless, especially after he had no financial resources.

But at this point, it was impossible to get him to go home and give in. In order to earn living expenses, he had to run around various part-time jobs.

Studying, part-time job, student union - these three things stuffed Chen Wan's life so much that he had no time to think about Xie Jian at all.

When Chen Wan reacted, he found that he and Xie Jian had not been in contact for three days.

Last time Xie Jian came to find Chen Wan, Chen Wan only had dinner with him because he had to work part-time, and left in a hurry.

Xie Jian was angry in his heart, and Chen Wan was ashamed in his heart. He took out his mobile phone and planned to call Xie Jian to be soft.

The phone answered, but it was a woman's voice. Chen Wan's heart was alarmed, but Xie Jian easily took it by the sentence "my colleague".

Chen Wan secretly scolded herself for thinking too much, even if Xie Jian wanted to cheat, the object should be a man.

Chen Wan apologized to Xie Jian for what happened a few days ago, and asked him if he had time for the weekend, saying that he would compensate him well.

Chen Wan originally thought that Xie Jian would happily agree, but who expected him to be hesitant and pushed it off on the grounds that he had to work overtime on weekends.

After that, Chen Wan and Xie Jian met several times, and every time they met, Xie Jian dodged, as if he was afraid that others would find something.

At this point, no matter how sluggish Chen Wan was, she could see that something was wrong. He forced Xie Jian to ask what was going on, and even threatened to announce the relationship between the two, and finally pried Xie Jian's mouth open.

- "I'm getting engaged next month." ”

The thunderbolt on a sunny day was nothing more than that, Chen Wan's brain was blank, and she opened her mouth but didn't make a sound. He was stunned for a while, and finally found his voice: "Engaged, engaged?" ”

Xie Jian nodded: "Yes." ”

Chen Wan grabbed Xie Jian's shoulder and asked eagerly, "With whom?" What is the engagement? He thought absurdly, maybe Xie Jian was going to get engaged to him.

"And the daughter of our chairman."

Xie Jian's words broke Chen Wan's last glimmer of expectation, he put down his hand weakly, and asked with red eyes, "So you're here to break up with me?" ”

"No, little late." Xie Jian wanted to hug Chen Wan, but Chen Wan avoided him, "Even if I get engaged, we can still be together, the same as before." ”

"You want me to be your underground lover?" Chen Wan raised her head and looked directly at Jian Xie.

"No, no, no, how can you be an underground lover." Xie Jian took Chen Wan's hand and said kindly, "I and that woman are just playing on the spot, the person I really love is you!" ”

Chen Wan shook off Xie Jian's hand and shouted excitedly: "You love me, so you want me to be a junior?" I'm sorry, I don't need such love! ”

He finished shouting, turned and ran away. He was afraid that he would not be able to hold back his tears if he continued to talk about it, because it was not worth crying about this kind of thing.

In the next few days, Chen Wan's spirit has been in a trance.

It is impossible to say that he is completely dead to Xie Jian, even if he is angry and sad, he still has a trace of expectation, expecting Xie Jian to come to him, saying that he is wrong, he is not engaged, and he is willing to spend his life with him.

Give yourself three days, he thought. If Xie Jian came to him in the past three days, he would forgive him. If Xie Jian hadn't looked for him in the past three days, he would have died again.

However, expectations can only be expectations after all. Not to mention three days, even Xie Jian didn't show up within a week.

A week later, Xie Jian finally appeared. He had a beard, bloodshot eyes, and looked tired.

Chen Wan was obviously distressed, but she still asked in a cold tone, "What are you still looking for me for?" ”

Xie Jian looked at Chen Wan and used his usual affectionate eyes: "Xiao Wan, don't you really think about my proposal that day?" ”

As soon as his words came out, Chen Wan's heartache, secret joy, and expectation disappeared completely, leaving only anger and self-mockery.

He looked at Xie Jian, not only his voice, but also his eyes were cold: "Xie Jian, you get out of me!" ”

"Xiaowan, why are you so stubborn." Chen Wan frowned slightly, and said bitterly, "Even if we get married, it won't affect the relationship between us." ”

Chen Wan said coldly: "Get out!" ”

Xie Jianyou didn't give up, and continued to persuade: "Xiaowan, don't be like this, you will also get married in the future." Do you think that without the cover of marriage, we can really go on for the rest of our lives? You know, this society simply can't accept us. You also knew the last time you came out, and even our closest parents couldn't accept us. ”

Chen Wan didn't speak, Xie Jian thought he was moved by what he said, and continued to say: "I remember you said that your father asked you to change it and go back." In this way, you can pretend that you have changed it, and when the time comes, you will have a girlfriend, get married, have children, and do it beautifully, and who will suspect that you are gay. Well, don't make trouble, marriage is good for you and for me. ”

Chen Wan pushed away Xie Jian, who was leaning over, and snorted coldly: "I'm making trouble? Xie Jian, aren't you making trouble from beginning to end? If you want to get married, you want to be a scumbag who cheats on marriage, I won't stop you, but why do you have to drag me into the water? What 'marriage is good for you and good for me', saying it so high-soundingly, is actually just making excuses for your shameless behavior! ”

Xie Jian was scolded by Chen Wan as a "scumbag" and "shamelessly", and he was a little displeased: "You are still young and don't know the dangers of the outside society." When you enter society, you will know if what I said is right. ”

Chen Wan said: "I tell you, I will not get married. Before entering and leaving society, or after entering and leaving society, I will no longer be struggling, and I will not ruin the life of an innocent woman for my own selfishness. I'm not going to get married! I won't fool around with a married married man! ”

Chen Wan said this, and Xie Jian had nothing more to say. He put away his smile and said in a mocking tone, "Since that's the case, then forget it." I'd like to see if you can stick to your principles for the rest of your life. ”

After Xie Jian left, Chen Wan sat alone on the chair for a long time.

His mind is very messy, and he thinks that gay love is really not guaranteed, and he doesn't think that falling in love will be so tiring for a while.

In the end, he closed his eyes and left four words in his mind: Lonely old age! 166 Reading Network