West was sure that Merlin was definitely angry with him.

Because he used his abilities in full view of everyone that night, he had to use teleportation to modify Arthur and Gawain's memories in order not to be burned as a wizard. And since almost the sabre-rattling in the forest, until now, a full three days have passed. Aside from the usual necessary exchanges, the black-haired mage never spoke to him again, and when he had to, he was often concise and to the point, trying to minimize contact between them. The habit of fiddling with little magic around the boy is also gone, and even though the two of them still live in the same cramped room, it is like a world away.

In this regard, West felt very dazed and aggrieved.

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

Soon, perhaps the awkward atmosphere between them was so obvious that even Gaius, who had always rarely inquired about the private affairs of his juniors, noticed that something was wrong between them. Seeing that Merlin once again picked up a sandwich and ran out of the door at the dawn of the day, without even saying hello, the old doctor patted West, who was pretending to be buried in the soup, and pulled him up from the bowl, with a rather strange expression: "Why did you provoke Merlin?" ”

"I want to know too."

Listlessly throwing down the bowl, the boy leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling with the same bewilderment as Gaius.

Actually, this statement is not accurate.

Of course, he understood that Merlin's abnormality had nothing to do with his appearance in the forest that day. Maybe it's because he's done too much killing, or maybe it's because he's used his power in front of King Arthur despite the mage's repeated strong statements...... However, no matter which of the two was the closest to the truth, he really couldn't understand why the boy was so angry about it. After all, everything he did was for them - he had no habit of showing mercy to his enemies, and it was even more difficult for him to accept that those he cared about would shed blood in front of him again. Although the tactics were a little more intense and he almost exposed himself, he protected Arthur and protected Merlin, isn't this already the best result?

――I really didn't expect that I was already an 'old man' who had lived for more than half a century, and I would still be upset and uneasy because of the attitude of a young boy.

Sullen as Gaius picked up the soup he hadn't finished drinking and set it aside, West's mouth flattened, and he couldn't figure out what was going on with the slight tearing sensation in his heart that looked like a lump of lead.

"In that case, why don't you talk to him?"

Stuff the herbs that you are going to grind today into the hands of the brown-haired boy along with the grinding bowl. The old doctor glanced at his really depressed face, thought about it, sighed, and pulled the thing out of his hand again: "I know Merlin, he is not the kind of person who will lose his temper for no reason. He told me what happened to you in the forest that day, and although I don't know what he's worried about, if you don't ask, you'll never know what you want to know. ”

"Go ahead, I'll give you a half-day off today...... But when you come back, you'll have to go and brush my leech tank. ”

“…… OhGod, I don't want to touch that disgusting thing again in my life. ”

"Don't be disgusted, boy. Without it, half of Camelot's people would have died because of the lack of medicine. ”

"So the only thing I wouldn't put in my mouth in this day and age is the potion you made, Gaius."

“……”

Although he said this, he also stood up according to his words. West quickly dodged the old doctor's pestle, stuck out his tongue, turned and flashed into his and Merlin's room.

……

Because he studied the spell late in the evening, and walked in a hurry in the morning, Merlin was still slightly flustered when he remembered that he didn't seem to have hidden the magic book under the floor as usual. After all, Gaius's cabin is a public place in another sense, and West adheres to the deep-rooted ** consciousness of the twenty-first century, never messing with his things, and it is very unlikely that he will be overlooked. Therefore, when Arthur went to the council chamber to hold a round table, he secretly ran home from the palace, lest the secret he had hidden for several years be exposed by this small mistake.

Scurrying over Gaius's makeshift stack of herbs, the black-haired mage looked at the dirt on the ground for a moment, then remembered that he didn't need to clean it since West moved in. However, when he finally breathed a sigh of relief and pushed the wooden door of his room, only to see the young man who was supposed to help Gaius deliver the potion at this time, leaning against the window with his arms crossed and not knowing what to think, he realized that he was actually relieved too soon.

"Merlin."

He didn't seem surprised by his presence - in fact, Merlin had been skeptical that anyone would be able to get within a hundred meters of him without West's knowledge. Catching a glimpse of the magic book that had been placed next to his pillow was gone, and the sheets and quilt were neatly laid out, the manservant guessed that it must have been put away by his roommate.

"I'll take it for you." You could tell from the spot of his gaze what the boy was thinking. West shrugged his shoulders indifferently, giving him a complete peace of mind.

He hesitated, then nodded. Merlin thanked the boy with a jaw, "I'm sorry for you." ”

"Where." has been observing every change in his expression, and naturally knows that the boy still can't let go of his mustard. West sighed, his eyes a little helpless:

"So, can we talk about it now?"

…… That's fine.

I thought about it, and I didn't refuse. Merlin, who had also not been very happy for the past three days, turned his head to look at the eyes that were as blue as the ocean to the thrilling sky. is so suitable for being as clear as water, overflowing with reassuring gentleness, but at the moment he is extremely lonely because of himself.

As if he was desperately torn apart by something, his heart suddenly hurt.

……

There must be a place in everyone's life that is worth stopping in order to learn how to move forward without losing their way.

At least until that night, Merlin had always thought so. Although he seems innocent and innocent, this does not mean that he has never faced the heat and coldness of the world. Whether life or death, love or hatred, the long thread of fate was wrapped around his palm again and again, and gradually wrapped the invulnerable armor in his heart. He had always been easily swept away by the ethereal but traceable things, so now, after confirming the proverbs of fate again and again, he seemed unable to convince himself that what he saw and heard in the forest at that time was only the delusion of the druid and his too cautiousness.

Indeed, to everyone, that boy is like an eternal summer that never grows old. Although everything is bright, the sky is clear and the moon is bright, you can see the sunlight quietly flowing from every corner of life. But it can also be eroded by a heavy rain that falls from the gray sky at any time, drenching from head to toe.

He made me feel more fear than I had ever felt before, Merlin thought. The mage could see in West the cruelty, the innocent bloodlust, and even the utterly calm madness. It is obviously the most irreconcilable paradox in the world, but now it appears at the same time in the eyes of a person who is floating in the dark, standing on the edge of the abyss, as if a slight push will be doomed.

"Why do you have to carry everything on your back?"

Sit on the edge of the bed and look down at your textured palm. West listened quietly to Merlin's words scattered in the air, and it was easy to piece together the outline that the boy had sketched for him in his heart.

- He can see a qiē, but he can't see himself.

Raising his head blankly, the young man smiled a little self-deprecatingly at Merlin's light gray pupils that were as clean and moist as a summer rain, "You've seen those things on me, Merlin." ”

Nodding. He remembered that he had just picked up West from the wilderness, and in order to heal his wounds, he had caught a glimpse of the old scars crisscrossing his back in a blood-red eye. Although the wound had been years old and the scabs were peeling off, some of the painful shadows of that day could still be faintly seen.

"That's the cage that imprisons me."

Along with Adelaide, they have been given many different meanings - past, future, shame, glory...... Either way, for West, it was just an obsession he had to accomplish. He owes too much, and has such a shackle in his heart, that he is almost willing to sink all the way to death in the hatred given by Elizhe.

So, let go?

What else can he let go?

"You shouldn't be like this, West."

Leaning against the door, quietly watching the young man's calm hysteria. Merlin's gaze was as deep as a blue-black lead cloud in the rain.

He didn't know who had dragged West down the path of revenge. But there is no doubt that the man almost ruined him.

"So, then what?"

For no reason, I remembered Mojana, the princess who was originally so sincere and beautiful, but now she was swallowed up by hatred and darkness. Merlin shook his head sadly, realizing that he couldn't bear to see West turn out like that one day.

He didn't want to watch him fall, no matter what.

"Do you think you'll feel at ease when you've got your revenge done, Will?"

The mage said this, but the boy's expression was still almost indifferent. Merlin didn't care about the inexplicable pain in his chest, which was about to suffocate, but closed his eyes and gritted his teeth to cover the water under his eyes:

"Or do you want to be driven by hatred until one day you kill your loved ones with your own hands again?"

“……”

Merlin knew it was a forbidden word. The druid sued Amoreis that the boy had come with a blood debt because he had pushed his beloved into hell. But what the old priest didn't say was that it was precisely because he had forged the shackles of this life with his own hands that mentioning Adelaide in front of West would always be a heartbreaking tragedy.

"Do you think I want to be like this?"

It stands to reason that the brown-haired boy was immediately enraged. He stood up suddenly, his expression as if Merlin had just slashed a piece of his heart with a knife, and even his otherwise calm blue eyes were swallowed up like blood.

"yes, Merlin. I'm cruel and ruthless, I'm unscrupulous, and I'll kill everyone who wants to hurt me...... None of you can make such accusations, because none of you can understand what that madman did to me. ”

The smile was sharp and crazy, and his eyes were red but no tears ever slipped. West knew he was dangerously out of control, but he didn't want to stop:

"I tried, can you imagine? I can pretend that I don't care about the wounds on my body, I can forget the fear that my blood is slowly draining, and I can't even get justice for the torture I suffered...... But, you sue me, how can I forgive that bastard for not sparing such a young child, even if I humbly knelt in front of him and begged him to save her, I just disdained it and watched Alley die miserably after all?! ”

"You say, Merlin. What would I have without hatred? ”

The air flow was constantly churning in the room, and from time to time there was the muffled sound of heavy objects falling to the ground. Countless fragments of time mixed with memories poured back to the boy, his past, his pain, Merlin's hesitation, Merlin's pity...... Scene by scene, piece by piece, like the turbulence of time and space that had almost torn him apart, it was about to shatter reason.

Almost panicked into the mage's consciousness, he was stunned, and then his expression became more and more distorted.

"Oh, look what else I've found."

Under the rampant ability, he didn't know that he had broken the principles he had always followed. Inadvertently peeking into Merlin's memories and seeing the prophecy offered by the Druid priest to Emmores, West unconsciously mocked and raised his eyebrows: "The variable of your fate with King Arthur? I? ”

"Serena Williams!!" Instinctively feeling that he had to say something about it, Merlin clutched his forehead, which was aching from the baptism of psychic powers, and tried to hold the teenager, who was obviously not in a normal state.

However, what people didn't expect at all was that. The explosion reached a certain tipping point, and just when he thought that West would go even more frantically out of control, the boy who had always been magical was miraculously calmed down again. The rage and the abruptness all swept away from his face, and in his place was Merlin's utter peace that was both familiar and unfamiliar.

"So, what you do is alienating, suspicious, irritating...... It's all because of an uncontrollable and unpredictable I will make your fate even more difficult. ”

Looking at the black-haired mage's expression, West smiled:

"You're worried about me, not about me, but about one day I'm going to hurt Arthur, intentionally or unintentionally, aren't you?"

Because Arthur is your destiny, you can give up even your life for him, let alone me.

No, it's not like that.

I instinctively wanted to open my mouth to refute, but I found that I didn't know what to say. Merlin looked at the boy's gaze sad and helpless. He didn't dare to guarantee that what West said had never come to his mind, nor did he dare to have a clear conscience that he really had no selfish intentions about it...... Obviously, he never wanted to hurt anyone.

As a result, the mage was silent in the end.

"I see."

Only when the boy's silence was a tacit acquiescence, West's heart suddenly felt a little dazed. He pressed the corner of his forehead and looked at the room that had become a mess, and there was a shallow pain and exhaustion in his eyes.

-- Why did things turn out the way they did?

Close your eyes and open them again, as if you can pretend that it was just a nightmare and that you woke up from a dream. The boy knew he should apologize to Merlin for losing control and yelling, show his understanding of the mage's fate on Albion's back, and promise that he would never hurt any of them, before brushing Gaius' damn tank...... However, there are so many things to do, but he still only feels empty and dazed.

"I'll go out for a while, and I'll clean up the room when I get back."

Skimming past Merlin, who couldn't see clearly with his head down, Westra opened the door, paused, and finally said so.

He seems to be starting to feel a little homesick.