"By the way, what inspired you to start creating Caprice?" Govin changed the subject.

Lin Yiming immediately became interested when he heard it, although in the text of "Caprice", Ba Jin had already said the reason for creation, but no one knew where this reason came from.

Hearing Govine's question, Ba Jin seemed to fall into a memory, and after a long time, he said with a frown:

"I once saw an article in Hong Kong's Ta Kung Pao entitled 'Strangeness is the Norm', and there was a sentence in it that left a deep impression on me: 'If you want to really make something cutting-edge or innovative, you have to let people explore it.'"

However, in our mainland, you can often hear people warn like this: 'If you want to explore and innovate, you are dissatisfied with the status quo, and you should be careful if you are not satisfied with the status quo.'" ‘

That's one thing that made me start to ask myself: I myself have been uneasy with the status quo since xiao, always want to change the status quo, and refuse to take the path arranged by my family, and then I didn't fall into the kind of ending like the xiao intellectual in "Cold Night" written by myself! Why are people so afraid of others being 'dissatisfied with the status quo'? And the current situation, there are indeed many problems worthy of people's dissatisfaction! For example, some people think that doing it for everyone and serving themselves is a good way to transform intellectuals. Therefore, every morning, I have to go to the post office to get a few or more yuan of manuscript fees, and I have to go to the post office to get a few or more manuscript fees, and I have to get a few books and parcels by myself, and I have to work hard and time for everything, but the more time a person has to serve himself, the less time he has to serve the people. The more time an intellectual spends working for himself, the less time he spends his mental work at the service of others. Aren't such social phenomena and social problems worth thinking about and studying for all of us?

From this, I thought that Qu Baiyin was tortured like hell for writing a "Innovative Monologues", and my own speech at the Second Cultural Congress in Shanghai in 1962 later became a "** crime", and it was brought out again and again to show the public during the special period.

Over the years, one exercise after another, after each exercise, people's hearts have shrunk even more, and they have become more and more unable to touch the hearts of others, and they have become more and more unable to hear others talk about their hearts. I myself hid my heart very deeply, and I only thought about how to protect myself. During the ten years of the catastrophe, the art of lying was exhibited to the point of reaching its peak, and lies became truth, and telling the truth was a great sin. And I myself was afraid that my family would be affected, so I had to follow the crowd. When others 'exalt', I 'follow' closely, and when others raise up 'gods', I bow down. It is precisely because of people like me that lies have a best-selling market, and those who tell lies can rise step by step.

……

Only by telling the truth can people live seriously.

All of this, now it's time to wrap it up! So I'm going to explore, I'm going to dissect myself, and that's where Caprice comes from. ”

Ba Jin so frankly recounted the origin of his creation of "Caprice", and he heard that Govin and Lin Yiming were both admirers and worried. He admired Ba Jin's noble character, but worried about whether his body could withstand such hardships.

So Lin Yiming asked with some hesitation: "It's just...... Ba Lao, do you really plan to show your journey to everyone without reservation? You...... Your body ......" Lin Yiming didn't know what to say, anyone who cared about Ba Lao would be worried about the old man's psychology and body when he saw "Caprice", a confession book similar to a will, you must know that Ba Lao had been hospitalized due to illness two months ago.

Seeing Lin Yiming's somewhat worried look, Ba Lao lowered his head and fell into contemplation, for a long time, raised his head and smiled indifferently, and said:

"Being an intellectual requires a conscience, responsibility and the ability to think independently, as I once had.

It's just that the special period made me lose my sober will little by little, gave up the consciousness and ability of independent thought as a modern intellectual, and fundamentally violated the freedom and humanistic ideals that I once worshipped as my life.

If I don't get this qiē back, my conscience will be tormented for it, and I will fall into great pain of being trapped in my heart.

If I don't, I'm an intellectual! ”

Ba Lao's categorical words made Govin feel deeply shocked!

This is Barkin!

This is the "conscience of China in the twentieth century"!

Govin stood up with a move, tears seemed to be rolling in his eyes, and his mind was filled with a sense of excitement, he wanted to say something, but in the face of Mr. Ba Jin's calm appearance, he couldn't say anything.

A short line of poems is like a ghost suddenly appearing, and he can't hold it back.

So Govin watched Ba Jin recite word by word: "The night gave me black eyes, but I used him to find the light." ”

Ba Lao's originally peaceful appearance was suddenly stunned after hearing Govine's words, and then he said in amazement: "This is the poem you composed? 'The night gave me black eyes, but I used him to find the light' is very meaningful. In just two lines of poetry, in the unity of the opposition between black and light, the philosophical meaning of the chou elephant is truly presented to the world charmingly through the appearance. Very symbolic! ”

Belch......

Seeing that Ba Lao didn't mind how difficult and stinging the topic of the conversation was for himself, but noticed his own poems, Govin was moved.

Then he was a little stunned: It's been 83 years, and Gu Cheng hasn't made the classic poem "One Generation"? !

"The night gave me black eyes, but I used him to find light," Lin Yiming muttered, and then asked Gowen, "What is the title of this poem?" ”

Govin stiffened his head and said, "It can be called a 'generation'. ”

Lin Yiming clapped his hands and said: "Good poetry, good poetry." ”

Gowen secretly wiped his cold sweat, thinking that it was good poetry and not wet.

Then I heard Lin Yiming turn around and say to Ba Lao: "Ba Lao, this poem can show your noble inner monologue!" ”

"It's not just my inner monologue. The dark night is a 'decade of catastrophe', and 'generation' naturally refers to contemporary Chinese who have grown up in this particular historical stage. The more Ba Lao chewed this poem, the more meaningful it became.

"I think this poem definitely has the strength to be listed in Harvest magazine! Govyn, haven't you always wanted to publish an article in Harvest magazine? Lin Yiming said with some excitement, and then he turned his head and recommended to Ba Lao: "Ba Lao, I think we can publish "Generation" in "Harvest" magazine. ”

Govin was shocked, turned his head and stared at Ba Lao nervously, expecting him to frown and say no.

Ba Jin was pondering the charm of "One Generation" when he saw Govin looking at him expectantly and laughed: "Naturally." Such a good poem, "Harvest" is not published! ”

It's over, and the only thought in Gowen's heart is that the writing method has not come out at this time.