"Who am I?"

"Yoneda fruit."

"Where am I?"

"Detention center."

"Huh?!"

"Don't 'ah', wake up quickly, how can you devote yourself to the construction of the motherland after being so lazy at a young age? Sue you, Aunt Wang of the street and the leader of your unit came to pick you up, just outside, write a 2,000-word inspection for a while, and carefully explain the beating process, the cause should be clearly written, the process should be written in detail, and finally the reflection experience after receiving organizational education in the past few days. Speaking of this, the police took a sip of tea to moisten his throat, glanced up and down at Tian Guo, and suddenly wondered: "By the way, can you write?" I heard you didn't graduate from elementary school."

*****

Tang Shiyun: The spring breeze in February is like scissors.

For Yoneda Guo, the spring breeze in February is much more powerful than scissors, not only cutting out the new year and emerald green wicker, but also cutting her life into two by the way.

Three days ago, she was the 2026 Oscar for Best Actress, and as a young actor who started step by step, it took Yoneda Guo a full fifteen years to get to where she is today.

thought that he would be on the throne of the queen of the movie, but from now on his life will only be left with unlimited scenery and fame and fortune. As a result, people are not as good as heaven, and when he came to the stage to accept the award, Tian Guo was accidentally mixed with the dress skirt, and when he woke up, he found that he was back in 1985.

1985 China, North, Sijiu City.

Could it be that this is the legendary joy and sorrow?

I'm not afraid of rebirth, so I'll give you a golden finger.

In 1985, the wealthy people in Sijiu City had already bought color televisions, and the richer ones already had video recorders, but they had to watch the videos secretly, and if the aunt of the neighborhood committee knew about them, they would be caught as broken shoes.

At that time, the music cassettes that sold the most were Teresa Teng and Feng Feifei, but they were all pirated. Cui Jian has not yet debuted, the four heavenly kings have not yet been gathered, and even the "Star Master", who will be famous in China in the future, is still playing tricks in TVB.

In 1985, the sky was blue, and the white clouds were like sugar cubes, reflected in the warm sunlight, as if they were about to drip at any moment. There was no smog or sandstorms. The most expensive car on the road is Dahongqi, the bicycle is the favorite of the people, and the status of a new "flying pigeon" is an Audi after 30 years.

There are few shopping malls on the street, and the entire Sijiu City can barely walk around the Longfu Building and the department store, but the clothes hanging inside are so pure and simple that the "sex/sex goddess" Yoneda Guo dare not look directly.

At that time, there were no Adinake stores, let alone Chanel and Armani, and everyone wore "fashionable" sea soul shirts and "pullback" white sneakers. You need to use food stamps to buy food, and if you don't have food stamps, you can stand aside, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and sugar are sold in bulk, adzuki bean popsicles cost two cents a piece, and cream popsicles are considered luxuries. The best drinks are Arctic Ocean soda and Yanjing draft beer, and the first McDonald's in Sijiu City is still in friendly negotiations with the local industrial and commercial department

A hundred wastes are waiting to be revived.

Maybe it's fate, just a month ago, Tian Guo just finished a period drama, coincidentally, the story background is the 80s!

As an actor, Tian Guo is not a person who can't endure hardship, he lived in the dirtiest and most dilapidated small hotel when he was running tricks in Hengdian, there was no air conditioning in summer, no heating in winter, and the room was crawling with spiders and cockroaches, so Tian Guo endured nausea for a year, and did not move out until the next year, when the economic conditions improved.

But filming is filming, and the drama is fake, as long as her feet step out of the set, she Yoneda Guo has changed from being bullied to a sexy goddess with stars holding the moon. Even in the most difficult years, as long as she finds a job, Tian Guo will not starve, and no matter how bad the rental house environment is, there is still a broken TV to accompany her through the long nights.

As long as she earns money, she can eat a big meal. Chinese, Western, Japanese, Indian, only you can't think of it, you can't eat it without you.

As long as she earns money, she can live a good life. Live in a luxury house, drive a luxury car, speculate in stocks, buy funds, and go abroad to shop when you are in a bad mood.

As long as she earns money, she can buy whatever she wants.

As long as she earns money, she earns a lot of money, she is the God of the same!

But what is there now?

In 1985, even if you have a lot of money, you don't have a mobile phone to use, and even if you are rich, you can't install wifi in Sijiu City. There are channels on the TV, and people get off work after broadcasting "News Network" every day. Another point, which is also the most unbearable point of Yonedaka, is-

Even if you fly to the sky, you still have to squat in the big pit of the masses who have nothing to say when you go to the toilet.

This kind of toilet, with no partition in the middle, squatting on the pit, everyone shows their most precious big ass without reservation. Anyway, they are all women, the ** parts are the same, no one feels embarrassed, and the farts are all magnificent.

But Tian Guo was embarrassed, he always felt that it was like dew/yin/fetish in broad daylight, standing outside the women's toilet and waiting for a long time, he wanted to wait for others to leave and then "open the gate and release the water", but he waited left and right, and after more than ten minutes, Yang Xiaohong and Wang Yadan, who were squatting inside, did not come out, and they didn't know what to talk about, squatting on the pit and laughing so that trembled.

Tian Guo was angry, thinking to himself, why don't you two squat on a pit and talk to each other, it's best to make another pot of tea in the middle, drink it, pull it, and talk at the same time.

After waiting for a few more minutes, he couldn't hold it back, so Tian Guo walked in. Raising his hand to brush his hair, he actually covers his face, like a thief.

Seeing that it was her, Yang Xiaohong and Wang Yadan paused the happy chat between the two, and the two pairs of eyes turned back and forth on Tian Guo's face like searchlights.

Wang Yadan is Tian Guo's neighbor, and the two live in a large courtyard, and they don't look up and look down.

Tian Guo didn't want to be next to them, so he squatted on the side of the wall across a pit, and when he took off his pants, he heard Yang Xiaohong lower her voice and ask Yadan: "When did she come back?" ”

She, naturally, refers to Tian Guo.

"The afternoon before yesterday."

"Have you been beaten?"

"What do you mean?" Yadan is young and can't understand the metaphors in Yang Xiaohong's words.

Yang Xiaohong stretched her neck and glanced at Tian Guo, and saw that she didn't pay attention to this side, so she vigorously revealed some secret information to Yadan: "What do you know, I was beaten up in there, I beat you down first, and then I started the interrogation, you see how wild she used to be, who is not afraid of her in this alley, she is the craziest among women, smoking, drinking, fighting, what's wrong, phew!" This time I'm honest, I'm sure I'll be beaten inside! ”

"Can't it" The girl was really frightened, and moved her feet in, for fear that Tian Guo would step over and step on her small flower cloth cotton shoes.

Yang Xiaohong achieved her goal, so she said triumphantly: "What do you know, your family has just moved in, and the contact with her is not deep, and after a long time of contact, you will know how crazy she is, Yoneda Guo is a famous female gangster in the Arctic Pavilion Nijo." When I was a child, I dared to pick up the men's toilet to watch men pee, do you dare? ”

"I don't dare!" The girl was so frightened that she waved her hand again and again, looking like "I'm a good girl". The voice was loud, and Tian Guo, who was sitting next to him, finally couldn't pretend not to hear anymore, and squinted at the two of them.

There was a warning in his eyes.

Yang Xiaohong noticed it, coughed twice and quickly changed the topic.

In addition to nothing at all, this kind of "mass big pit" also has a feature that there is only one wall between the men's and women's toilets, and I don't know if it's intentional or what, this wall usually has a vent at the highest place, what is the women's toilet talking about, the men's toilet is clearly heard, and vice versa.

Just when Yang Xiaohong and Yadan shifted the topic to the movie "Izu Dancing Girl" starring Japanese movie star Momoe Yamaguchi, several young boys were chatting about billiards in the men's toilet next door.

"Hey, why do you think I score a white ball every time?"

"Because you're stupid."

"Because you're Erbei."

"Fuck your uncle, you guys are stupid! Tadpole! If it weren't for Lao Tzu shitting now, he would definitely have smoked you in the past! ”

"Come here, come here, I'm waiting for you here, but come and smoke me, you Xu Qiang is this!"

"Cao's!" Xu Qiang scolded, and everyone laughed.

Tian Guo guessed that the tadpole gesture of "this" must be an obscene gesture circulating within them.

A couple of boys were gagging, and then they walked into the toilet alone. As if they had met a ghost, the boys were instantly quiet, and after the noise stopped for a moment, they hurriedly greeted each other, with a hint of timidity and flattery in their voices.

"Brother Huanran!"

"Brother Ran!"

Tian Guo counted it, and the toilet next door called a total of five times, "Brother Huanran." ”

Scold! It's going to the toilet to have a meeting.