If I really decide to give my heart, can someone tell him not to make me sad?

- "When Love Is Near"

Xu Mian took Jing Yu back to the car, and Jing Yu said uneasily: "Give Sun Yang to him, what if something happens to her?" ”

Xu Mian looked at her and said, "Don't worry, tiger poison doesn't eat children." ”

"And what is he going to do?"

"Do you want money?"

Jing Yu couldn't help but be angry, "How can there be such a father in this world?" ”

Xu Mian raised his eyes and glanced at her meaningfully, Jing Yu was suspicious, "Why do you look at me like that?" ”

He shook his head, "Why are you so nice to a strange child?" ”

"I'm her godmother." She answered as a matter of course, but in fact, she didn't know why, they just met in Pingshui, but because others called her godmother, now that she is in difficulty, she naturally can't stand by and watch.

Xu Mian complained, "You are better to a stranger than to Jiashu." ”

Jing Yuhu was suspicious, "How can there be?" Don't talk nonsense, okay? I'm just as good to them all. ”

"How can they be the same?" He muttered, "Katsuki is his own." ”

Jing Yu slammed on the brakes, the car rubbed against the ground and made a screeching sound, both of them leaned forward a few points by inertia, Jing Yu's ears seemed to be roaring, and the blood in her whole body rushed to the brain, she asked in a hoarse voice, "What did you just say?" ”

Her face was very pale for some reason, making people wonder if she was sick, Xu Mian subconsciously pursed her lips, and then realized that she had missed her mouth.

Xu Mian pursed his lips and said, "Jing Yu, I don't know how to explain this matter to you, but Jiashu is really your child, you just forgot it, and I only found out later, but I don't know how to explain it to you." ”

Jing Yu was at a loss, even her hands trembled slightly, she had never been as godless as she is now, she looked at Xu Mian carefully, wanting to find a trace of lying from his face, he must have lied to her, and wanted to deliberately see her embarrassed appearance.

But no, not at all, his expression was extremely serious, Jing Yu knew that what he said was true.

She shook her head, she subconsciously resisted, her heart was messy, she never thought of such a result, she pulled her lips, her face turned pale, and she trembled and said, "You lied to me, right?" Isn't it ridiculous that you deliberately look at me like this? ”

Xu Mian shook his head and wanted to hug her, but she subconsciously avoided her, his eyes were injured, "Jingyu, calm down, what I said is true, if you don't believe it, you can do a paternity test." ”

She yelled at him, "Calm down? How do you calm me down? Have you always felt that it was just a trivial matter that didn't matter, so you didn't even plan to tell me? ”

He shook his head, his face gloomy, "I've never thought of it that way, Jingyu, I just don't know how to tell you about it." ”

"So you can hide in the shadows like this, looking at me tangled and sad and pretending not to care, very proud, right? Do you think you've finally taken revenge on me once. ”

She remembered that she had been in a car accident that year, and when she woke up, she didn't forget anything, but she suddenly felt that she had forgotten something important, but in the end she couldn't remember anything.

Now that she knows what she has forgotten, it is no wonder that there is always an indescribable sadness and loss lingering in her heart, and she can't ignore it.

Xu Mian's face became even more gloomy, he raised his voice, and said sharply: "If I wanted to take revenge on you, I wouldn't be with you." ”

She looked up, already with tears on her face, choked up and said, "Why didn't you tell me earlier, if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have stayed out of the matter like this, and I would have been able to be nicer to him." ”

Why tell her about it when she was unprepared, why didn't you tell her earlier, why let her act like a fool and face her own child without knowing that it was her own child.

When she thought of Katsuki, countless guilt and sadness welled up in her heart, she had no way to be rational, at this moment, she wanted to see Katsu.

Over the years, she has been used to wandering around alone, she never thought that she had a child who she never knew, and even for so many years she has not fulfilled the slightest bit of responsibility as a mother, this recognition made her feel guilty, once upon a time, she was faintly jealous of the unknown woman, and even complained to her in the bottom of her heart, why did she leave such a lovely child.

She couldn't control her tears, like a dam bursting its banks, "It was me, it was me." ”

Xu Mian took her into her arms, she hugged him, and cried, at this moment, she was grateful that he could still wait for her, grateful for all his efforts for her, grateful for him being so good as a father.

——

An hour later, the two returned home, Jing Yu's mood finally stabilized, she didn't want Jiashu to see her like this, maybe it was the cowardice of her hometown, she suddenly didn't dare to face him.

Xu Mian knew her thoughts and comforted her, "No matter what, you are his biological mother, and this will never change." ”

She was a little scared, and she didn't know how to tell Katsuki about it, after all, she hadn't known that his existence was a fact for so many years, and she had never given him a little maternal love.

But if he was really disappointed in her, and said something that made her sad, she would be a hundred times more sad than he was, she was a cowardly person, and she was afraid to face his accusations.

Xu Mian went to the kitchen to cook, Jing Yu and Jiashu were playing flying chess in the living room, seeing him laughing freely, her heart was sour and sad, she couldn't help but hold him in her arms.

Xu Jiashu moved and looked at her a little strangely, although Jing Yu's heart was already like a turbulent sea surging in his heart, he still smiled slightly on the surface.

She has never experienced the mother's love for her child so truly, at this moment in her heart, Xu Jiashu is her most precious person, and she is willing to do everything to protect him.

Katsuki was a little strange and warm, and asked in a low voice, "Sister Goldfish, what's wrong with you?" ”

Her eyes were slightly red, she sniffled, and replied, "It's nothing, I just want to hug you." ”

Xu Jiashu has always been sensitive, and he is very good at observing words and feelings, "Aren't you happy?" Sister Goldfish? If you're not happy, I can lend you my arms. ”

She pursed her lips and smiled, touching his little head, "No, I'm happy, Katsuki, I've never been happier than I am today." ”

Her eyes were red, as if she was about to cry, Xu Jiashu said strangely: "Even if you are happy, why do you want to cry?" Isn't it time to laugh when you're happy? ”

Jing Yu almost choked up and said, "Crying with joy, did your teacher teach you?" ”

Katsuki shook her head, at the level of the first grade of elementary school, she had never taught such a complex idiom, so she didn't know much about what she said.

Jing Yu explained: "Crying with joy means that I was so happy that I cried. ”

Xu Jiashu scratched his head and said suspiciously: "Adults are so strange, they want to cry when they are happy." ”

Jing Yu hugged him with a smile and whispered, "Jiashu, do you want to be a mother?" ”

He was a little unhappy and said, "No, I don't want to think about her." ”

Although I knew that he would say this, I still felt sad when I heard it again, and I didn't feel it when I didn't know it before, but now that I am there, I deeply understand his dislike for his biological mother.

He likes her, but he doesn't like his biological mother, and she is the biological mother he doesn't want to be, Jing Yu can't help but feel sad, if one day, he knows that she is that mother, what will he think? Would he hate her too?

She couldn't restrain herself, covered her mouth and got up and went upstairs, Xu Jiashu called her a few strange times behind her, but she didn't even respond, he couldn't help but wonder.

Xu Mian came out of the kitchen and asked Xu Jiashu, "What's wrong?" ”

Xu Jiashu scratched his head suspiciously, "Dad, Sister Goldfish is crying." ”

Xu Mian wiped his hands, frowned and asked, "Did you say anything?" ”

Xu Jiashu shook his head innocently, "I didn't say anything, Dad, Sister Goldfish said she cried with joy." ”

He pronounced that idiom very awkwardly, and asked Xu Mian, "Dad, do people cry when they are happy?" ”

Xu Mian laughed and said, "This question will tell you when you grow up, and I'll go see her." ”

Xu Jiashu nodded, Xu Mian stepped on the stairs and went upstairs, pushed open the bedroom door, there was a sound of rushing water in the bathroom, he walked in and saw that Jing Yu was turning off the faucet, drying the water stains on his face with a towel, but his eyes were still slightly red.

When I saw him, I suddenly couldn't help but throw myself into his arms, and the tears that I couldn't stop began to spread again, she said sadly: "Xu Mian, I want to tell him so much, I heard him say that I don't want my mother to do this, I am sad and about to die, how I want to tell him, tell him that I am my mother, and tell him that I am sorry, but I am afraid that he will not forgive me, I am a coward, I dare not face his accusations, if he does not forgive me, I really can't bear it." ”

In this world, there is no mother who does not like her child, although she has forgotten part of her memory, but she was pregnant in October, and then endured so much pain to give birth, how could she not love that child.

She clearly knows how much she is afraid of pain, and she can't bear even the slightest pain, let alone give birth to a child.

But she had never known of his existence before this, and when she felt sorry for herself, had she ever thought about a man who was desperate to live with their children.

She hugged him tightly, choked up and said, "Thank you, Xu Mian." ”

——

At dinner in the evening, Jing Yu has been in a bad state, resulting in several people not talking much at the dinner table, and after the meal, Jing Yu accompanied Xu Jiashu to do his homework together.

Xu Jiashu asked cautiously, "Sister Goldfish, are you really not unhappy?" ”

Jing Yu knew that his emotions might infect him, and said with a smile: "Without Katsu, I'm not unhappy, it's just that everyone will have times when their emotions are out of control, as if you have a certain cognition that you have been establishing before, and suddenly one day, someone tells you that this is not what you thought it is, so will you collapse?" ”

Her explanation was too complicated, Xu Jiashu's current brain circuit was still incomprehensible for the time being, and Jing Yu said again: "It's like those goldfish in the fish tank, you think they are goldfish, but one day, there is a person who proves to you with conclusive evidence that those are not actually goldfish, those are turtles, what do you think?" ”

Xu Jiashu felt incredible, "But they are obviously goldfish, why did they become turtles?" It can't be a tortoise's either. ”

Jing Yu smiled and touched the back of his head, "But others tell you that it's a turtle, not a goldfish, will you still believe in yourself?" ”

He shook his head, as if he hadn't thought about it, "I don't know, but if it's like that in my heart, then I'll always believe it." ”

He is a child who believes in self-knowledge very much, Jing Yu smiled and did not speak.

After finishing her homework, she asked Xu Jiashu to go to sleep, Xu Jiashu felt a little strange, "Sister Goldfish, why are you looking at me like this?" ”

There was a complex light in her eyes, and he couldn't understand what it meant, but the tenderness there was very clear.

She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, and said to him in a soft voice, "Katsuki, go to sleep, good night." ”

Good night, my darling.

Katsuki squinted, "Good night." 166 Reading Network