25. Be a warrior and die in battle

As the lights dimmed, the aisle calmed down, and the instruments continued to make dull cries at the frequency. Jiang Yikuan sat on the edge of the hospital bed, motionless, she held the old man's thin hand, and both of them seemed to be frozen into statues by time.

Zhao Zheng was waiting at the door of the ward, raising his wrist, the hour hand on the watch was approaching twelve o'clock, and it was her birthday soon.

She didn't explain who the people in the ward were, or what decisions she had to make, but everything from the nurse's words to the seriously ill relatives she had mentioned. Zhao Zheng may be able to guess roughly, he hopes that he guessed wrong, otherwise, what a cruel thing Yu Jiang Yi is.

The rough skin that Jiang Yi touched belonged to her grandmother who brought her the only sense of security and protection when she was a child. It was my grandmother who said, no one wants to raise one by one, I will raise it. It was my grandmother who said that this girl doll will be better than you in the future. Without his grandmother, Jiang Yi, who was born in such a family, would never have been able to climb out of the quagmire. She won't tell herself over and over again, no matter how difficult the problem is, as long as she has the heart to solve it, as long as she can grit her teeth, she will definitely be able to move through.

Grandma used to be Jiang Yi's only support, and after Jiang Yi grew up, she was still her only spiritual support. Jiang Yi has worked for more than four years, and his grandmother has been sick for almost three years. There is no filial son in front of the bed of a long illness, and the only person who has not given up to this day is Jiang Yi. A year ago, she brought her grandmother to Shanghai and sent her to the hospital for a connection. My grandmother's illness worsened, and she fell into a coma six months ago.

Nearly seventy people, doctors say it's unlikely to wake up, but can maintain vital signs. Jiang Yi firmly believed that she would wake up, they were all such unyielding people. She has received critical illness notices more than once in the past few years, but her grandmother has survived, why not this time?

Jiang Yi bent down and gently leaned on his grandmother's chest. Her nasal cavity was sour, but she couldn't squeeze out a tear in her eyes.

In the office just now, the doctor said a lot, the core idea is just one sentence, multiple organs are failing, there is nothing that can be done, death is only a matter of time, and it is time to consider whether to take the old man home.

When it comes to solving the problem with no amount of money, what should she do?

Taking it home is to give up completely, Jiang Yi gritted his teeth tightly and insisted until now, asking her to let go, how could she bear to let go? But looking at her grandmother who has been tortured by illness and has become like this, how can she bear to drag her to suffer in the world because of her reluctance?

A person who is in a deep coma may not be able to communicate with the outside world, but she may be sentient, so all the pain of organ bleeding and decay, the pain of every rescue shock, grandma is silently suffering......

"Grandma, you sue me, what should I do." She asked in a low voice.

No one answered her.

I don't know how long it took, Jiang got together and walked towards the outside of the ward. At the door, she looked back again and took a deep look at her grandmother, whose eyes were closed.

In the long and silent corridor, Zhao was sitting on a chair, and when he saw her come out, he immediately stood up.

"Jiang Yi."

She raised her eyes, looking tired: "You are still waiting." She said, then a detached smile appeared, and she stepped out of the way, avoiding Zhao Zheng's hand that was about to hold her, "You go back first." Thank you for coming. I still have some things to do. ”

"Let me help you."

She shook her head, "You can't help me." As she spoke, she took a stride towards the stairwell.

Zhao Zheng followed behind her, she may refuse, or she may not want to say, but if Zhao Zheng leaves now, he knows that he will never be able to get close to Jiang Yi's heart again.

Jiang went up to the rooftop as if no one was around, and she stood against the fence. The sky in the distance accumulated thick clouds, and the wind and rain were coming. Her fingers reached out of the barbed wire and clung to them, and the gray windows were like dark hands, and they grabbed her throat and pinched her heart. She couldn't stand still, slowly crouched, curled up, covered her ears and closed her eyes, she had to make a decision.

After a while, Jiang got up and took out his mobile phone. The screen lit up, revealing her unusually cold face.

She dialed the phone, but no one answered on the other end, and she dialed again, repeating it three times, and finally came a sleepy answer.

"Who!" The tone of the other party is very poor.

Jiang Yi's voice was even colder: "I'm Jiang Yi." ”

After an awkward silence, the other end spoke: "It's still so rude." What's the matter, I told you we don't have any money. ”

Jiang Yi took a deep breath and spoke: "Grandma can't do it." ”

"No more? I told you a long time ago that it was useless, and you had to get it to Shanghai yourself. We are so far away, what's the use of calling us? ”

"She's leaving, aren't you going to come and see her?"

"Mom obviously can't do it for a long time, and I made it clear before I went to Shanghai. The old lady is in a coma now, and it's useless for me to come. ”

"Grandma has never treated you badly, she is your mother."

"Who are you to teach me? The old lady has favored my sister since she was a child, and to put it bluntly, she is dragged down by the two scourges of you and your mother. If it weren't for my sister doing this kind of thing that no one did, the old lady might have lived a few more years, and you little oil bottle..."

Jiang Yi's hands trembled with anger, he couldn't listen anymore, and hung up the phone. She growled, her hands clutching the barbed wire and shaking desperately.

The devil caught her heart, and the terrible hatred controlled her, she wanted to smash all the qiē, she hated all the qiē...

Suddenly, a pair of hands wrapped around her, and a hug with a crisp breath was there.

She stopped moving, and the clamoring hatred and negativity also paused at this moment, and she turned her head slightly, and her eyes were on the man's resolute side face.

No, she didn't want him to see herself like that. It was the broken notch of her beautiful mask, a notch that was enough to destroy the qiē she had whitewashed.

"I don't ask." He said, "I know you don't want to say it, so I don't ask." ”

Jiang Yi's eyes widened, and the three words "I don't ask" knocked on her heart, making her eyes moisten in an instant.

She covered the back of his hand and curled her fingers, "Thank you." ”

Back in the ward, Jiang Yi and his grandmother chattered for a while before leaving.

When I left, it was almost four o'clock. Jiang Yi wanted to go home, but Zhao Zheng persuaded her, and she agreed to go to Zhao Zheng.

The taxi was driving on the empty street, and she turned her head to look out the window, Zhao Zheng's hand clasped with her. Her hands are cold, and her heart is not here.

Back in the apartment, Zhao Zheng took a bathrobe to her, and said to Jiang Yi, who was pestled by the window, "Take a hot bath, I'll pour you wine." ”

Jiang Yi's scattered gaze focused on his face, and she nodded and thanked him again.

Closing the door and peeling off her clothes, there were still traces of joy on her skin in the mirror. Her brow furrowed, and she looked away. Turn on the shower, cold water comes down your head, and your skin is stirred up with a layer of trembling bumps. She propped herself up against the wall and waited for the water to heat up.

The water slid down her skin, gathering on the ground and flowing down the low.

She knew that she had to make a decision, and no one could help her with this decision.

Zhao Zheng put away the slippers that Jiang Yi wore out in a panic, and took out a pair of them again and put them at the bathroom door. I made the bed in my guest room and cleaned up my messy bed. He took out the whiskey from the wine cabinet, poured Jiang Yi a small half glass, and put ice cubes on it.

After doing this, Jiang Yi walked out of the bathroom in a bathrobe. Her hair was still dripping, but she didn't seem to care.

"You're so prone to catching a cold." He walked over, opened the bathroom drawer, took out the hair dryer, pulled her to the mirror and turned on the hair dryer.

The hot wind blew overhead, with a loud noise. The glass was steaming, and she couldn't see the man who was blowing her hair for her. He was a slender figure, and she lowered her eyebrows, letting him play with her long hair.

Her dark hair wrapped around his fingers, a particularly strange intimacy, her silent back, the air humid and warm. Jiang Yi at this moment gives people a real softness, defenseless, and close to the truth. He took a comb to straighten her hair, dried it layer by layer, and after a long time, he turned off the hair dryer. Turn her body around and gently stroke the shredded hair from her forehead.

She raised her eyes, her gaze covered with a stubborn light. He approached her, hugged her, and he patted her on the back, gently, and again.

He didn't say anything like he would get better, he understood that there were always things in this world that people couldn't do anything about, and he just wanted her to know that he was there, and even he couldn't turn the tide.

Jiang Yi's stiff body relaxed, and she raised her hand to wrap her arms around his neck, burying her head deep in his shoulder.

The ice cubes in the whisky slowly melted, and when they melted away, they were drunk by the ginger one by one.

She was afraid that it would be difficult for her to meet a man like Zhao Zheng again, who would pour a glass of wine on her sleepless nights and not ask a word that made her not know how to speak. She lay down under the covers, and he closed the curtains, walked to the bed, and raised his hand to turn off the bedside lamp.

"I can't sleep, I close my eyes and rest. Don't make important decisions when you're not getting enough sleep. His cello-like sound fell from the darkness, and he turned to leave, his fingers gently encircled.

Jiang Yi's action was almost subconscious, but he really caught him, and he opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. In the end, he didn't say anything and let go of his hand.

"Good night."

He closed the door, and she was back alone.

As soon as Jiang closed his eyes, his mind was full of thoughts. She is so good at expressing herself, but she doesn't know how to speak to Zhao Zheng, she has some **, but there is a force that seals her mouth. Yes, he didn't see all of it, and if he saw it all, what would he think of her?

She was dazed, seemed to be asleep, and seemed awake.

"Freak, don't play with her."

"Have you heard about her mother? It's scary, so watch out for you kids. ”

"What's the use of having good grades, maybe it's copying."

"My mom said, let me not play with you."

"First place is remarkable? Is the squad leader something you can hook up with?! ”

Accusations, invectives, indifferent or disdainful faces, pin-like eyes, burning pain in the skin, feelings of isolation, negativity poured out of the black room. The beast she was holding in was screaming and breaking free, and she wanted to wake up, but realized that it wasn't a dream, but she didn't want to remember some scattered past.

Sitting up, the time didn't go long, just opened the curtains, and the sky outside began to dawn, she was covered in a cold sweat, and the clothes on her back were completely wet.

As soon as Jiang opened the door, Zhao Zheng didn't sleep, but read a book on the sofa in the living room. Hearing her voice, he got up: "What's wrong?" ”

She was a little surprised, then shook her head and said, "Can you lend me your computer?" I need work. ”

Zhao Zheng was slightly stunned, but still brought the laptop, Jiang Yi took it, her face was as usual at this time, and all the fragility disappeared.

Her expression even looked a little cold.

"Need to eat?" He asked.

Jiang Yi shook her head, and after a while, she spoke again: "If you can, can you do me another favor?" ”

"Of course."

"Thank you. I have a drinking party at night and I think I'm going to get drunk, can you come and pick me up? ”

"Okay."

She smiled at him, and she lowered her brow and began typing on the keyboard.

She pretended to be working hard, but only she knew that the text she could understand became an unquestionable symbol at this point. She tried hard to read, but she didn't want to leave even a crack for herself to relax.

She can't lose hope, she can't collapse. She is Jiang Yi, and she will never be a deserter.